Daesung slipped his arm from around Seunghyun and sat up, he looked at his peaceful figure and sighed. When Seunghyun was awake he seemed to always look tired and never comfortable with his surroundings. No matter how much he tried to hide it with a smile, Daesung could see that Seunghyun wasn't happy; at least not when he was awake. Seunghyun's sleeping figure reminded him of peace, he seemed so content with just being able to sleep that Daesung didn't want to wake him, but he didn't know how he was going to get out of bed without doing so.

Daesung lightly touched Seunghyun's shoulder and trailed his hand down to his fingers and intertwined them. “Seunghyun.” he leaned down and kissed him on the cheek; Seunghyun moved slightly, but he didn't wake. Daesung wondered if that was a sign to not wake him, he did look so peaceful. “Seunghyun, love.” A groan sounded from Seunghyun and he looked up a Daesung; peace slowly slipping from his eyes. Daesung sighed, he should have let him sleep.

Seunghyun sat up and shielded his eyes from the glare of the sun peeking through the windows, “How long was I asleep?”

“A while it's almost noon.”

“How long have you been up?” Seunghyun frowned, he was thinking about traversing across the room, but his lack of clothes was stopping him. Being with Daesung was far more different than showing his body to Seungri, he didn't feel as comfortable.

“Eleven, ten, I don't know.” Daesung admired how Seunghyun had already wiped out of his eyes, even though he knew that Seunghyun wanted to lay back down. It would have taken Daesung a longer time to get up, that was one of the reasons why he stayed in bed, the other being Seunghyun's sleeping figure.

“Why didn't you wake me up sooner then?”

“You looked so peaceful, I couldn't bring myself to do it.” Daesung looked away, that sounded corny, but it was true.

“Huh.” he looked over at Daesung, a sense of awkwardness settling between them. Neither of them new where to take it from where they were, and Seunghyun wasn't willing to make the first move. Seunghyun was still conflicted, it would not be easy for him to get over his conflict.

Daesung watched Seunghyun's eye flicker away from him, he sighed at that gesture and moved away from him, “You aren't comfortable being around me still.” he was stating something that he knew as truth, he could see it in Seunghyun's eyes.

“It just doesn't happen over night, I can't just wake up and decide that I'm okay with everything.” Seunghyun wrapped his arms around his chest, “Daesung, I'm a very conflicted person right now. I can't, I can't think right, not when I'm around you.”

“Is that a good or bad thing?”

“Both.” Seunghyun sighed, it seemed he had too many secrets in his head, everyday it seemed like he was telling Daesung something else about himself that he had planned on keeping to himself.

Daesung leaned forward and tried to catch Seunghyun's ever shifting gaze, “What does that mean?”

“I love you.” Seunghyun looked at the sheets, he wouldn't dare say that while looking Daesung in the eye.

Any other time Daesung would have had a smile on his face at Seunghyun's words, but they sounded grave and like he didn't want it to be true. Seunghyun made it sound like it was the worst thing in the world to love him, “Do really still love me, even after everything?”

“I don't know why, but I still get that pang in my chest when I see you, and I know deep down that despite everything I still love you, but love isn't enough. Love hurts, and it's a horrible thing to go through. I don't want to feel it anymore, and that's why I hate you. I hate you because of the way you make me feel and it's easier to say that than admit that I still love you.” Seunghyun scrunched up the sheets by his waist and played with a renegade string. All the emotion that he should have been feeling when he was saying this, had all gone now. The strange feeling of numbness was setting in, and he welcomed it. It was the only time when he didn't feel the feelings he had for Daesung.

Daesung shook his head, and lightly pulled at his hair, “It sounds like you love to hate me.”

“I would love to hate you, but sadly, I only hate to love you.”

“I can fix that too.” Daesung tried to brush off Seunghyun's as just another challenge, but they hit him hard.

Seunghyun noticed the forlorn look on Daesung's face and looked guiltily away from him, Seunghyun was not a selfish person. He knew this was not only about him and that his words must be hard for Daesung to hear, but he also wasn't a liar, and he would tell Daesung every thought he had about him, bit by bit. “You can fix it? You can take all the pain away, and replace it with only the sweet taste of love?” Seunghyun pressed his body flush against Daesung's and wrapped his arms tightly around him, “Oh Daesung, I don't want to be this way, I want to be able to feel good again.”

Daesung held Seunghyun in his arms, there was no way they could be any closer than what they were at that moment. Daesung didn't know what to do, their brief conversation had given more to think about and he didn't know what to do with the information. “I love you Seunghyun, it's my job to make you feel good. I'll do it.”

“I hope so, I'm trying to change, but it's so hard. You'll have to help me.” it was weird for Seunghyun that he was asking the very person who made him this way to help him in his time of need. It was that pesky feeling of love that never seemed to leave him, not when it meant Daesung was near him. Seunghyun had already gotten over the fact that he was stuck between love and hate, and instead of choosing the easier root he was trying to bring back that unconditional love that he once felt for Daesung instead of bring hate into his life.

Daesung kissed Seunghyun on his lips and mumbled, “I love you too much to give up on you just yet. Come on Seunghyun lets get up.”

Seunghyun nodded and let Daesung go, he bit his lip now thinking about moving from under the covers, and Daesung seeing him exposed. Daesung seemed to sense as he smiled a reassuringly and turned away from him. That seemed even more embarrassing to Seunghyun, could his nervousness really be seen that easily on his face? “Uhm Daesung, you're going to have to get your clothes from your old dorm.”

Daesung's face was blank for a second, “You'll have to get them for me then.”

“You want me to get your clothing, but doesn't Youngbae still live in there?” he didn't think he could face Youngbae after so long, they hadn't been on goods terms; not ever.

“You'll be fine, he understands, just go.”

Seunghyun and moved to get up, he would go and take a shower he got Daesung's clothes and then they would do something together later. Part of that was supposed to be the plan yesterday, but they had gotten distracted.

Youngbae worked on some work he had due later and scribbled in the problems in silence. He was already missing Daesung even though it would be this quiet even if he was there, but his presence was missed. Youngbae sighed he hoped him and Seunghyun weren't moving to fast, from the sound of Daesung it seemed like Seunghyun had changed quite since he had seen him. The last time h had seen he could already detect a change, but he wondered how bad it would be now.

He heard a light knock on his door and stood up to his answer; speaking of the devil. Seunghyun stood in front of him looking like he barely put any thought in his outfit; he didn't even bother to put on shoes as his dorm was only a few dorms away. Youngbae accessed Seunghyun's appearance and sighed, Seunghyun had changed, you could see it on his face. When had opened the door Seunghyun was looking off to the side with a disinterested look on his face. Seunghyun used to have a face that shine even if he was bored or uninterested, now it seemed the glow had dulled and Seunghyun's disinterest was slightly unnerving.

Youngbae exhaled and tore his eyes away from Seunghyun's face, “What is it?”

Seunghyun looked away from whatever he was looking and slowly turned to look at Youngbae, his face never changed, “Daesung's clothes, I need to get them.”

“Oh, why didn't he get them himself?”

Seunghyun hesitated, “He's...currently indisposed.”

“Is he well?” Youngbae backed out of the door and motioned for Seunghyun to walk in. Seunghyun's casual manner was starting to make him queasy. Seunghyun had his hands trust into his pants pockets and he seemed to move with a purpose, like he didn't want to be I the room longer than he needed to.

“Yes, he's well.”

Youngbae frowned, “You said he was indisposed though.”

“He just couldn't come, okay.” Seunghyun stood in the middle of the room and raised an eyebrow, “He just wants me to grab some clothes for him, I'll be out of your hair in a bit.”

Youngbae pointed to dresser drawer that Daesung kept all his things, “There, then.” he looked at Seunghyun's deliberate movements, a bit of depression overcoming him. Where was Seunghyun's fluid movements? He used to brighten any room, now there seemed to be a dark cloud hovering over him. Youngbae hoped he wasn't the cause of that cloud; they weren't exactly friends or anything, but he hoped they weren't enemies, not anymore at least. He had said some choice words with Seunghyun a long time ago and he wondered if Seunghyun was still bitter about that, “Seunghyun?”

Seunghyun's shoulders tensed, he slowed in his movements and looked over his shoulder, “What?”

“You seem so, different, is it, is being around me that uncomfortable?” Youngbae wasn't going to say that he was hurt by Seunghyun's demeanor, he just didn't want to be the cause of someone's bad mood.

Seunghyun turned back around and started gathering Daesung's clothes again, “I've just been tired, this is how I am everyday.”

“That can't be you, you've never been this way.”

“I've been what way? How would you know how I've been, if you didn't know we were never friends Youngbae, I'm not here to visit you, I'm just here to grab Daesung's things.”

This was true, but he was sure that everyone would be able to tell the light in his eye had diminished, “We don't have to be friends for me to know that you aren't the same anymore.”

Seunghyun dropped the clothes on the ground and gripped the drawer in a vice grip, “People change, what does it matter to you anyways? Not too long ago I was worthless and pathetic to you, what does it matter if I changed?”

Youngbae winced, he had said those things and now he was regretting it. Seunghyun was just a hopeless guy in love, and he called Seunghyun quite some things when he was just a man in love; nothing more. Youngbae looked away, even through everything Seunghyun had never really insulted him or called him a name. He had just seen him as a threat, and at the time he was. “I'm sorry for saying those things to you. I know that's not what you are, you're just a man in love.”

Seunghyun scoffed, “Yeah.”

“Do you not want to be with Daesung anymore? Is that why you're like this? You know he really loves you, he may not have shown it earlier, but he does love you in the most unconventional way possible.”

“I know.”

“Aren't you happy about that?” Seunghyun's behavior was puzzling to him, he didn't have all the puzzles pieces so he didn't know how Seunghyun was feeling and why he was feeling it.

“No, I'm not happy, I haven't been happy for a long time. Daesung loving me makes things even more complicated, and I'm working on excepting it, but it can be a lot. I'm not as put together as I used to be, and our relationship is just another thing I have to worry about. You know, questions like, will we work out, is this even worth it keep swarming in my head, and sometimes I really do wonder if it's worth it.” Seunghyun took a breath and bent down to pick up the clothes he dropped, “You won't be able to understand how I feel because you have never been through what I have, and I hope you never have to go through this. If I could wish you anything, I wish you that.”

“You hope I never feel love like you have? That sounds more cruel than welcoming.”

Seunghyun frowned, he looked at the pile in his hands and looked in the drawer and grabbed what h

“It may sound that way, but I supposed when you do eventually feel love, you will know what I'm talking about, and when they break your heart you'll have wished that you had never felt that way in the first place.” Seunghyun headed for the door.

Before Seunghyun could make his way out Youngbae grabbed him by his arm, “Do you even love Daesung?”

Seunghyun smiled a cold smile that sent shivers down Youngbae's back, “I do, I love him too damn much.” he pulled his arm free from him and walked away, leaving Youngbae with the words he said.

Youngbae couldn't believe what he had heard. Seunghyun made love seem like it was nothing but just a burden on his shoulders. He couldn't understand because he had never been through what Seunghyun, and he was sure that he didn't want to. It look painful, and Youngbae wasn't sure he could be as string as Seunghyun. No matter how Seunghyun tried to play it, he was a strong person, at least in Youngbae's book.

Seunghyun's love left a bitter taste in Youngbae's mouth that made him frown from the distasteful qualities of it. Gone was the sweet taste of Seunghyun's innocent love and it was replaced with something that made Youngbae wonder why they were even trying to work it out if it was that bad. Seunghyun had just confirmed that he indeed still loved Daesung, but he had said it like he didn't want it. Youngbae couldn't even imagine what Seunghyun must be going through; it seemed like he was stuck between wanting Daesung and throwing him out of his life forever.

They both were a bitter bunch and Youngbae was sure that they were quite bad for each other but he knew they would still draw to each other like moths to a flame. Both of them didn't know that if they got too close to that flame they would both die from their temptations, but if they knew their limits, they would be able to live on and still enjoy the tempting flame of their love.

Seunghyun walked back into his dorm and set the clothes down on his desk, “Here you go, but I suggest a shower first.” That was exactly where Seunghyun was headed and he didn't want to waste anymore time.

Daesung yawned and stretched and moved to leave the bed to Seunghyun's dismay. Seunghyun bit his lips and tried to avert his eyes but they were glued to Daesung's abs and he absolutely refused to look down. Daesung was oblivious to Seunghyun's inner turmoil as he padded over and grabbed his robe from the pile and put it on. He looked up at Seunghyun's wide eyes and a perplexed look of his own came over his face, “What?”

Seunghyun turned around, “Nothing, don't worry about it.”

“Nothing huh?” Daesung smiled and hugged Seunghyun from behind; his shoulders were rigged, but Seunghyun's shoulders were always stiff, so Daesung didn't think anything of it, “Are you sure?”

Seunghyun looked over his shoulder at Daesung's smiling face, “I'm sure, now would you please?” Daesung only held him tighter; Seunghyun groaned and placed his hands over Daesung's in an attempt to pry them off of him, “Daesung, I don't feel like taking a cold shower, let go.”

He promptly let go at Seunghyun's request and his smile only widened, “Do I really still have that type of affect on you?”

Seunghyun faced Daesung and crossed his arms, “I can't turn my arousal on and off when I please. It's not a switch.” he huffed and grabbed his things before proceeding out the door.

Daesung trailed behind him whilst trying not to laugh at Seunghyun.

Seunghyun finally got that shower that he wanted and waited for Daesung to finish up in the bathroom. He wondered how long it could possibly take for one person to take a shower. When Daesung finally walked back into the dorm Seunghyun's hair had mostly dried and he was avidly working on getting some work done.

Daesung look at at what Seunghyun was doing and rubbed his towel through his hair, “Is that all you do is work?”

“Well I would have been doing something else if someone didn't take a lifetime taking a shower.” Seunghyun put down his pen and got up from his chair, “Your hair is still wet.”

“Yeah, well.” he threw his soaked towel into the dirty clothes bin and shook his head like a wet dog.

Seunghyun was not amused as there was now a vast amount of water on his face, “I kind of want to kick you out now.” he wiped his face with his sleeve, “Like really badly.”

“It's just a little water.” Daesung shrugged his shoulders like it was no big deal and grabbed Seunghyun's hand, “Let's get out of here.”

Seunghyun took his hand back and nodded his head, “That was my plan from the beginning; you just decided to take ten years getting ready.”

Daesung rolled his eyes and tried not to frown at the loss of Seunghyun's hand. He pushed Seunghyun out the door and started herding him to the cafeteria. He had a feeling that Seunghyun hadn't been eating properly, deeming as he spent most of his time working on projects and homework. Daesung was sure that Seunghyun would work himself to death of someone didn't intervene; though it was slightly Seunghyun's fault for how much work he had to do in the first place. If he would have worked this diligently in the beginning of the year he wouldn't be working this hard now.

They both walked silently outside and Daesung still noticed that Seunghyun was still the handsome man that he knew, and everybody else knew that too as they were looking at Seunghyun as they passed. Daesung glared at the prying eyes that seemed to be staring at him back, “It seems you're still popular with everyone.”

Seunghyun made eye contact with a female who seemed to be staring intently at Daesung, “I don't think they like you very much.”

“You think? What did I ever do?”

“You're hanging with me.”

“Did Seungri ever get these kinds of looks?” Daesung wondered why people always seemed to have some sort of invisible claim on someone they didn't even know.

“At first, but then I always spent time with him and people realized I didn't think as anything but a friend. Strangely enough he liked the attention.” without looking Seunghyun intertwined his fingers with Daesung's and kept walking like he didn't just make Daesung's day.

Daesung looked at their hands; he was delighted just to be holding Seunghyun's hand, but confused also. Earlier Seunghyun had pulled away when Daesung had wanted to hold his hand, “What's the occasion?”

“What's what?” he looked at Daesung as he gestured to their hands, “Oh, I figured that if I were to give you a chance then other people should know too. I want people to know that I'm off the market.” Seunghyun said it so matter of fact that Daesung didn't know whether this was a business transaction or what, none the less he appreciated Seunghyun's gesture.

“Does that mean I can show public displays of affection?” Daesung looked up Seunghyun hopefully.

“Sure.” with that he received a quick peck from Daesung.

Daesung rested on Seunghyun so much so that Seunghyun had throw his arm around him to keep balance. As they walked by one question seemed to form on everyone's minds; did Seunghyun have a boyfriend? Seunghyun had never been seen walking affectionately with anyone, yeah he had been around; kissed a few frogs, but he had never been seen with anyone like how he was with Daesung.

Seunghyun seemed to notice the questioning and sensed what people were thinking. He couldn't believe that his love life could be that popular, “Some people act lie I can't be with anyone without it being a national phenomenon.”

At the moment Daesung didn't care about what people were thinking, he just like that Seunghyun had allowed him this little piece of touch from him. “Let them stare, I don't care.”

Something was bothering Seunghyun, everyone saw it and thought it. Maybe he should just go ahead and say it, because everyone had already made it official in their minds, why shouldn't he actually make it official in the open, “Daesung.”

Daesung was bewildered, Seunghyun had stopped walking abruptly and he seemed to be thinking about something heavy, “Yes, Seunghyun?”

Seunghyun wasn't a romantic, and there was nothing romantic about him and Daesung's relationship, so he just said it, “I want you to know, that for now on, you're officially my boyfriend.”

Seunghyun did not ask Daesung, he told him he was his boyfriend, and Daesung didn't think anything of it. Their relationship was already unorthodox, why not make it official in an unorthodox way, “Okay.” Daesung would of thought he would have come up with a better response than that, but all the emotion that he wanted to let go, just wouldn't.

Seunghyun nodded at his lack of response and took his hand in his and started heading for the cafeteria again. They seemed a little forced, and Daesung knew this, but it was the fact Seunghyun was trying despite everything that made him feel wanted. He didn't have to be romantic and spew out a cheesy line saying how he wanted him to be his boyfriend, it was just that he said it. Besides, it was all Seunghyun's decision, Daesung had made it clear from the beginning that he was on board for anything, and it wasn't Daesung's decision if they were to be together, it was Seunghyun's. So if they would end up not working out and breaking up, that would most likely be Seunghyun's choice too.

Seunghyun walked robotically next to Daesung, he didn't make eye contact or attempt anything with him. He just held his hand and walked on, there was nothing that needed to be said between them at the moment, and Seunghyun trusted that Daesung already knew the situation of what was between them. At least he hoped he didn't have to explain it to him anymore than he already had.

“Seunghyun?”

Seunghyun turned his head toward Daesung, “Hmm?”

Daesung planted a kiss on Seunghyun's lips and smirked at some of the people that were still looking at them, “Just showing some people who's mine.”

“I see.” Seunghyun chewed on his cheek for a bit, it was now or never. He cupped Daesung's chin and gave him a longer kiss then their brief one. It left Daesung shocked and breathless and Seunghyun parted his lips to deepen the kiss; all too sure that Daesung would eagerly let him. He let go of Daesung and straightened up; he slightly amused at how easily Daesung was flustered, “Come on, and stop drooling.”

Daesung wiped at the corner of mouth and sheepishly followed Seunghyun. For his sake, Daesung hoped that their relationship would only get better like it was now, and he hoped that Seunghyun wasn't doing this just for public appearances.

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Sorry, earlier was my fault. Uhm, if i finish homework early, then another chapter today if not then tomorrow.