Daesung hung onto every word Seunghyun told him, he didn't interrupt him, and he didn't try and stop him like he asked him not to. Even if he was thinking about telling Seunghyun to stop talking, he was sure he would not be able to do it. Seunghyun's words weren't something that he could take lightly, as he listened he realized it wasn't about the , it was something more, and that made him jealous. Seungri had shared something with Seunghyun that he was unsure that he would ever be able to experience with him.

He told him about the tears he had shed along with it and the whispers that everything would be all right from Seungri and he reassured him during their act. Daesung could imagine it, soft touches, their bodies being close, and it pained him that he had brought them to do it. With his words and actions he had set those two together for a night to remember. As he listened to Seunghyun, he noticed his face had grown cold and somber, like he was reliving every piece of pain that night had to offer him. It was a realization that maybe Seunghyun was still feeling the events of that night. There were emotions that still shown on his face like it had happened yesterday.

Daesung had reached up and touched Seunghyun's cheek only to be met with a flinch and a frown. He only realized the amount of damage he had done at this very moment, there was no trust between them, everything was tattered to pieces. Even as Daesung was laying on on Seunghyun's he still felt a sense of detachment from him, like something had been severed a long time ago. Daesung wasn't the one to comfort Seunghyun in his time of need because he had caused it, and Seungri was the one that ended up being there for him, the one that got to touch him, and the one that was able to make his tears dry. Daesung believed that he had more damage control than he ever thought.

Seunghyun finished and refused to look down at Daesung, his words had brought back things that he was sure that he had forgotten, but no, they were still there, and he still felt it greatly. Seunghyun already had doubts letting Daesung back in his life and now that he retold– relived –what happened a couple months ago the feelings were fresh and he was unsure as to whether he really meant anything that he said.

Daesung sat up to get a good look at Seunghyun, he didn't regret asking Seunghyun to tell him this, but the pained looked on Seunghyun's face did bring down reality on him. He knew it would not be easy to win Seunghyun's heart back, but he had been blind to think that Seunghyun's trepidations about being with him were meager. “Seunghyun?” he wanted him to look at him, but all he got was a glance at the side of his face.

“I thought that I had been over it, but I'm not, not one bit.” Seunghyun ran a tired hand over his eyes, I took till now to realize that everything that had always been at the back of his mind, and he had only been putting it off when he focused on his studies instead of addressing it head on.

“I think I can never say I'm sorry enough, but Seunghyun, is this going to set us back?” Seunghyun's reluctance to look at him was giving him a sense of perturbation, he was scared that this would only bring them back a step.

“Only if I let it.” Seunghyun knew that if he didn't want progress then he could refuse Daesung's attempts at trying to better their relationship, it was all up to him, but that was not wanted, right now he wanted to tell Daesung everything, he wanted him to know all the feelings he had been harboring.

“Are you going to let it?” a wash of worry overcame Daesung, did Seunghyun not want this?

“No, Daesung, I want you to know that I was hurt that day. You had your chance to tell me everything you had been feeling up to that day, but I never got my chance to tell you.” Seunghyun his lower lip to his mouth and bit down on it. He was still looking off to the side, and there seemed that there was something he had been holding onto that he kept to himself. There was something that he hadn't even told Seungri and that he refused to admit to himself.

Daesung saw the reluctance Seunghyun had in telling him, he was like a closed book now to Daesung. He had made his pages off limits to him a long time ago and was only letting him indulge in his secrets just this once, “What do you want to tell me?”

The look Seunghyun had given Daesung was one of absolute anguish, his emotions from before and the ones he had been holding in were now going to be out in the open. There had been something he had been hiding about how broken he had become and this was now the time that he was going to tell Daesung what he had silently been thinking, “Being in love can be a blessing and a curse. For me it was curse, and now I deal with the consequences of love. Saying that it was hard for me to cope is an understatement, and I'm still coping. I would have rather much died then feel what I had felt over the weeks, but still I went on. To think I thought you were special, but then to realize that you were just a devil in disguise was a surprise that I wasn't willing to see. If you want to fix me Daesung, I have to know that you have changed, because what I loved is not what I want to love anymore. Sometimes I feel like I don't even have a heart anymore, and the times when I feel numb are the better times, because when I really feel it makes me think about things that I'm not proud of.”

Daesung could see it, the numb unfeeling look that Seunghyun had adopted on his face. He knew why he had become that way, he was afraid of being hurt again, and the only he felt he wouldn't be hurt is if he shut down all his emotions. Though sometimes there times when you can't be fully emotionless, and when it seemed like you would never feel again, the pain hit you hard. Daesung could see it, Seunghyun had gone through that, and he still was, as if the wounds were fresh, “I promise Seunghyun, I've changed, and I will fix it.”

“Really? Because I don't want to feel this way anymore, it's bad when I'm alone, that's when my thoughts wander. The things I think about aren't nice, and sometimes I scare myself with how negative they can get.” Seunghyun was truly scared of being left alone with his thoughts when he was having a low time, he knew Daesung was the one to cause it, but he wanted him to fix it. He would be the only that he would allow to fix him because no one else would be able to.

“Negative, how negative Seunghyun?” that worried Daesung.

Despite himself Seunghyun smiled at the worried expression on Daesung's face, “Don't think I'm some type of depressed guy that doesn't know that their thinking about doing something and acting on doing something are two completely different things. I'm not that far gone, not yet.”

Daesung took Seunghyun's chin roughly in his hand, and made him look at him, “What are you smiling for? This isn't funny, I'm worried about you.”

“I know, and that's what's so funny. You did it without a care, and now you're worried when it's too late. How are you going to fix your mistake Daesung? Tell me, I'm curious.” Seunghyun removed Daesung's hand from his chin and sat up, “Fix me Daesung, and do it quick.”

Daesung sat up and wrapped his arms around Seunghyun even though he knew Seunghyun didn't want him touching him, but he knew he needed some type of touch, “I will, we're going to be fine, I just know it. You just have to wait for it Seunghyun.”

“How long?”

“As long as it takes, but it will happen. I'll fix my mistakes and we will be happy together.”

There was still doubt laced in Seunghyun's voice, “You sound so sure, like somebody I use to know.”

Daesung knew he was referring to himself, Seunghyun had been so sure of himself that they would be happy together and Daesung was here to prove him right. “And you don't sound too sure anymore, I'll fix that too. I'll fix everything.”

Seunghyun let in a much needed breath of air, “Daesung, I need your optimism, because I've lost mine. Show me the light, as a matter of fact, be the light that I need.”

“I'll be more than that, you're shining star, a sun, a million twinkling-

Seunghyun shushed him, “I get it.” he turned around and faced Daesung, “You know, Seungri's leaving me for Jiyong, did you know that?”

Daesung tilted his head to the side, “Urm, no...” he didn't understand what Seunghyun was playing at.

“He's leaving me all alone here, and I told you, I can't be alone.”

“When you say he's leaving you, do you mean that he's going to a different dorm?”

Seunghyun rolled his eyes, “Well what else would I mean?”

“Well excuse me. What do you want me to do about it?” Daesung marveled at the obviously annoyed expression on Seunghyun's face. Obviously Seunghyun thought Daesung was being dense.

Seunghyun scoffed, “You want to fix me, but how are you going to be able to do that if you're away from me, hmm?”

“Do you want me to take Seungri's place as your roommate?”

“Only if everything works out the way it's supposed to work out.” Seunghyun stared at the door, he hoped it would.

“And why wouldn't it work out?”

“It all depends on Jiyong, he's extremely stubborn and if he doesn't take Seungri's proposal then Seungri is staying in here with me, but if he does, then you're staying in here with me.”

“Who said I agreed to staying with you?”

“You agreed, you just didn't say it out loud.” Seunghyun smirked, “Knowing Jiyong, he'll take the offer. How can he pass up having Seungri all to himself?”

“I didn't know he and Seungri were so close.” Daesung felt like he had been out of the loop, he didn't even know what had been going on between Jiyong and Seungri.

“They're more than close, their soon to be lovers, but only if Jiyong says yes to what Seungri has to say.” Seunghyun's ears perked up, “Speaking of the devil.”

Daesung had a confused look on his face, “What? I don't see anyone.”

Seungri walked in with a very disheveled look on his face; his hair was messy and his shirt wasn't buttoned correctly. The quiet snickers from Seunghyun didn't help his disheveled state, and neither did Daesung with his arms wrapped around Seunghyun in a very possessive way. “What's so funny?”

Seunghyun raised an eyebrow, the state Seungri was in indicated some type of play, “Oh maybe the fact that you like a tornado hit you.”

Seungri looked down at his clothes, “I fell.”

“Yeah, in a pile of Jiyong. What were you doing? Shagging in a pile of leaves?” Seunghyun motioned to the leaves and twigs sticking out of Seungri's hair.

Seungri pulled a leaf out of his birds nest of a hairdo, “Not exactly, I did fall.”

“How did you fall?” Seunghyun had an inkling that he wasn't alone when he fell.

“Jiyong has horrible balance...we fell in a pile of leaves...while still making out.”

Daesung was quiet till he heard that, he started laughing at how absurd Seungri and Jiyong were. “I take it that you two must be together then?”

“I mean well, yeah, we are.” Seungri stared awkwardly at the ground, “He got a little too excited and pounced on me.” a smile spread on his face, “I'm just too irresistible for him to control himself.”

Seunghyun gagged, “So are you leaving me then? Did he agree to it?”

“Of course, I'm too good to pass up. He'd be out of his mind to not take the deal.”

“I'd be out of mind to not what?” Seungri had forgotten to close the door and Jiyong had heard everything he said, “I think someone's a little too cocky for his own good.”

Seungri's widened for a split second before he composed himself, “Me? Too cocky?”

Jiyong looked Seungri over, “You're lucky you're too cute for your own good, now where's your stuff?”

Seunghyun untangled himself from Daesung and stood up, “Before you guys just head out, I have something I want to say.”

Jiyong was still not comfortable with Seunghyun and was wary to what he had say, especially with narrowed eyes he had, “What is it?”

“I better not hear anything about you two getting into anymore fights, and Jiyong, you better treat him right. Seungri may try to hide it, but he needs coddling like a child, and he's prone to crying spontaneously.” Seunghyun walked over to his drawer and pulled out a piece of paper, “I've kept this just in case, this would happen.” he handed the paper over to Jiyong, “That is a list of things that you need to do to keep Seungri happy and healthy, don't neglect your duties of taking care of him or he might die or something.”

Jiyong glanced over the list, “Nightly cuddling? Why isn't he allowed to watch the Lion King?”

A bitter look overcame Seungri's face, “I'm not a child, I don't need babysitting or a list so people can keep me happy. When are you going to realize that I'm a grown man, and I can take care of myself?”

“You certainly don't act like a grown man, and anyways Jiyong would be absolutely clueless if I didn't have that list for emergencies. How else he supposed to know that you can't be left alone for more than a week?”

“I can be left alone for longer than that! And wait, is that why you never went on vacation?”

A frown settled on Jiyong's face, “Did you do all of these things?” he read over the list and his frown deepened.

“Yeah why?” Seunghyun didn't understand why Jiyong looked so displeased.

“Including the cuddling, the hugs, and the sharing of your bed?”

Seunghyun turned away from Jiyong and grabbed Seungri's bags, he wasn't up for a fight, and right now he wasn't sure he would win with the look Jiyong was giving him. He felt Jiyong seriously needed to chillax with his slightly possessive nature, “We'll discuss that later.” he handed Seungri his things, “I'm sure the both of you have some catching up to do.” Seunghyun pushed the both of them out and closed the door behind him, “Geez, I swear he was about to kill me.”

Daesung was thoroughly amused, “I think they'll work out just fine. Seungri seems pretty clingy, and I know Jiyong has some issues with his jealousy, so they'll definitely work out.”

“Not before Jiyong skins me alive. I think I'll always be public enemy number one with him, I hope he doesn't figure out how handsy Seungri was with me, or I'll never make it to graduation.” Seunghyun shuddered just thinking about it.

“How handsy was he?”

Seunghyun's eyebrow shot up when he saw the look Daesung had on his face, “Don't you start either, I have enough on my plate from Jiyong, I don't need you getting all jealous on me too.”

Daesung folded his arms over his chest, “I'm not the jealous type, though you and Seungri are pretty close. I might just have to keep my eye on him.”

“I'm sure you won't have to keep an eye on him he'll be too busy face with Jiyong to clingy towards me.”

“If it was me, I would never keep my hands off of you.”

Seunghyun mumbled under his breath, “One Seungri is enough I don't need another.”

“What?”

“I said, why are you still here? Shouldn't you be packing?”

Daesung dismissed Seunghyun's blatant lie, “I do have a roomie already, what would Youngbae say?”

“Youngbae has no claim over you anymore, you're here for me now. I don't care what he has to say, you're supposed to only be focused on me.” it seemed like everyone had a streak of jealousy in them, because Seunghyun's surfaced at the mention of Youngbae in an instant.

“Now look who's the jealous one?” Daesung got off of Seunghyun's and walked over to him. Seunghyun was sitting in front of the door with a displeased look on his face; the thought of Youngbae was a sour thought that he would like to dismiss, “I am still trying to renew my friendship with Youngbae though.”

“Are you trying to make me jealous? Is that a goal of yours?” the smirk on Daesung's face and proved Seunghyun's point.

“Of course not, though I don't know if he would like it if I did decide to be your roommate instead of his. He might try to keep me.”

Seunghyun rolled his eyes and stood up from his sitting position by the door, “You're your own person Daesung, I'm sure he'll have no say in if you want to stay with him or not. Though, I'm telling you, just like Jiyong told Seungri, I kind if feel like a hypocrite for saying this, but if you want to try and make this relationship an actual relationship then I demand you stay with me.” it seemed like being unreasonable was contagious, because that's what Seunghyun was being, though Daesung didn't look like he minded at all.

In fact Daesung liked the fact that Seunghyun was being demanding, that was what he wanted to see, “Okay Seunghyun, if you want me here with you then I'll stay.”

A serious look adorned Seunghyun's face, “It's not that I want you here with me it's that I need you here with me. I told you, I don't want to be alone, you don't know how it is when I'm alone.”

Daesung pressed his lips against Seunghyun's cheek and wrapped his arms around Seunghyun's neck, “I'm not going to let you be alone, not anymore.” he felt a soft grip on his waist and Seunghyun bury his face into to the crook of his neck.

“Daesung, don't give up like I have, make me believe in love again. Do that for me Daesung.”

His voice tickled his skin and made Daesung ultimately sad, the fact that Seunghyun good go from an amused voice to a voice that sounded like there was no direction Seunghyun was going in but down, “I'm sorry Seunghyun, I'll make it all better.” Daesung laid a fast kiss on Seunghyun's lips and held him closer to him.

They shared an embrace in silence in which Seunghyun refused to let Daesung go. Seunghyun kissed Daesung's cheeks and looked away from him, “I don't want to regret ever doing this. Please don't betray the little trust I'm giving you.”

“Never, I promise Seunghyun, you can trust me.” Daesung wondered why Seunghyun seemed to have a hard time looking at him. “Seunghyun can you please look at me?”

“Not without seeing you, no.” Seunghyun couldn't really look Daesung in the eye, not when he was feeling this way, maybe when he was in a good mood, or when they would be on good terms with each other, but now was not the time

“Why not?”

“Because when I look at you, I don't see what I should see.”

“And what do you see?”

“A lie.”

>>>>>>>>>>>

To VIPn8vSuperSTAR, Seungri topped.