YOU OWE ME AN EXPLANATION! Please explain to me why- WHY FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS GOOD AND DECENT AND REMOTELY RELATED TO POCKY- did I wake up at three in the ing morning to jog down to the ing post office to wait for YOUR DAMN LETTER? I didn't even wait for the school administrator to get them from the postal people. I just grabbed mine and ran for it. It is DAMN COLD here at three in the morning, but by the time I got home I was sweating like leaky faucet of sweat.

Now that I think about it, that's both gross and illogical.

Spock would not approve.

Anyway, yeah... Honestly, though, I didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself sprinting to the post office. I swear, it was still dark as the inside of a tin can. Ever look in one? Dark, huh?

Okay, I swiped a lot of paper yesterday, so I should be set in case termites take over the world.

Or I could just write to you. That sounds funner anyway.

Funner, more fun... Whoever invented this rule, I hope they die slowly and painfully... If it weren't for the fact that you called me out for the word "bestest" I wouldn't give a damn, but I do now, so oh well.

Alright, I get it, you like my lame humor. You are so weird, you know that? So weird... But I don't think you could ever annoy me now. If you succeed, I will give you your nickel back. Get it?

OW! Your nickel just, I swear, bounced out of the envelope, onto the floor, and when I bent down to get it, I hit my head on the desk. I still had to search for five minutes to find the damned nickel. Is this because I didn't understand your math thing? Is that why you sent ninja nickels after me? What next, quarters armed with bazookas? Or will you just send me Justin Bieber mix-tapes and allow me to forever burn in the fires of pre-pubescent evil?

No, you can't just be passive on this subject. You are damn amazing, and if I can't put myself down, you can't put yourself down. You seem like the type of kid that always sat on a throne and pulled other people up to sit with you. , I bet you look amazing too... Damn it, there goes the little self esteem I had left... Oh look, it's flying away... BRING ME SOME PIZZA WHEN YOU GET BACK, SELF-ESTEEM!

...

ing ingrate...

Taemin, you probably couldn't hurt a fly if you tried, let alone a person. Not with your... whatever it is that makes you such a ing angel. I actually worry for you. Do you get bullied at all? I bet you'd just let them hurt you, huh? Then again, you did tear me a new one when you yelled at me for being a bastardly ... You have some backbone after all! ^-^

Oh look, a new smiley...

Yeah, I have no more badassness. All I have is my torn jeans and leather jacket...

Your grandma sounded like an amazing person. I use that word a lot, don't I? "Amazing." Well, everything seems amazing at least... But anyway, she sounded like a pretty cool woman. Where is she now? Did you guys send her to one of those old people homes?

You wouldn't trade me? I wouldn't trade you either. You're the first person to ever mean this much to me. It's amazing, really. There's that word again... I swear, it stalks me.

Of course I enjoy your letters. I ran down to the post office at three in the morning, didn't I? Your letters are like my anchor to the reality where I don't explode with frustration. I feel like an angry balloon being deflated and two flared with helium so that I can float away. Then I have to come back down to write my own letter. Then I float away again, sounding like a member of the Lollipop Guild the whole time... Get it? Helium and the thing with the voices?

...

So lame...

Ah, girl troubles... Yeah, I know what you're saying. I had a few of those too, but I'm done with dating for a while. I dumped my last girlfriend a month ago... She tried to slash my tires, but I don't own a car, so she shred my sneakers instead.

Can you see why I dumped her now?

What happened with you and your girlfriend? It's alright if you don't want to tell me. I mean, I know it's sort of personal to someone like you.

Before I have to wrap up so that this letter still has a chance to fit in the envelope, remember when I said I didn't want your picture?

...

I want it now.

I'll send you one of me too, if you want! I just... , I don't know how to put this...

I want to see you. That's as clearly as I can say it. I really want to see you.

Your lamer-than-lame hyung,

Minho

:)