My eyes opened suddenly to the morning light and I reached to my left and found the sheets were cold and empty. I sat up gasping.

“JiYong!” My eyes searched the room and I could see his thin figure facing the window. I stared at his .

too fast to live, too young to die

JiYong turned his head slightly towards me and his eyes were as sad as they were last night. Under his eyes were swollen red and his eyes darted away from me and back out the window.

I got up and walked over to him. He sighed as I held him from behind and kissed his shoulder.

“Hey…” he croaked quietly. His voice was horse and fragile and a wave of sadness washed over me.

“Why are you up so early? The plane to Japan doesn’t leave until nine thirty.” I whispered back enjoying the feeling of his cool shoulder blades against my hot chest.

“Just thinking…” He replied and turned his head so I could kiss him.

“You scared me last night…” I kissed across his shoulders.

“I’m sorry you had to see me like that.” JiYong stretched his head to the left so I could kiss up the side of his neck.

“Don’t be sorry for being human.” I tightened my arms around him his tense muscles shifting against my skin.

“I don’t deserve you.” He said after a moment and turned in my arms so we were facing.

I stared at him as his eyes fell onto the wall behind me. We stayed like that for a moment until he lowered his eyes. I held my breath wishing that I could say something to make that pained expression on his face disappear.

His hands ran down my bare sides and he pulled me close. My heart raced as our bodies molded together, I was amazed how perfectly I fitted against his chest.

I closed my eyes tight and I realized how much I loved him.

I buried my face into his chest and counted his heart beats.

* * *

I sighed as the boys and I came back to the hotel suite after a long day of Japanese Varity shows and out door performances.

I watched as JiYong left the living room and went straight to his room without a word. The other boys all turned to me and I stared down at my hands.

“How’s he been?” YoungBae asked.

“Not good…he’s really stressed out. I have never seen him like this before.”

“He usually gets like this from time to time. He lets his emotions build up and he stops eating, and doesn’t want too many people around...” SeungHyun shook his head.

I nodded trying my best not to look so worried.

My thoughts were interrupted as I felt JiYong’s phone vibrate on the glass coffee table. I picked it up before any of the boys did and answered as I walked to JiYong’s room.

“H-Hello?”

“Hello…who’s this?” I stopped walking and swallowed.

“Naomi…”

“You’re the intern right?” He answered with a strained voice that made me scared to answer.

“Yes…”

“Where’s JiYong?” He asked.

“JiYong’s resting right now…” I could tell that this man wasn’t going to make anything better.

“Tell him to get up now. I need to talk to him.” He growled and I opened the door to JiYong’s room.

JiYong sat on the edge of the bed. His eyes glanced up at me and he looked away.

“Nai…not now…” JiYong shook his head when I handed him the phone.

I put the phone to my ear to tell the man that JiYong would call him back later but his voice was even more persistent then before.

“Tell him it’s YG on the phone!”

My heart stopped and JiYong could here YG yelling and stood up quickly. I handed him the phone.

He muttered what sounded like an apology in Korean.

“Naomi could you leave for a second…” JiYong’s eyes were pleading and I nodded and left. I felt so nervous the other boys read my expression.

“What’s wrong?!” SeungHyun became rigid.

“Did he hurt you?!” SeungRi jumped up and I shook my head.

“YG called and I just have a bad feeling abo…” We all froze as JiYong screamed on the other side of the door. My head was spinning and I reached for the door knob.

The other boys tried to run in after me but YoungBae held them back and I was horrified by the expression on JiYong’s face as he listened to YG on the phone.

He glanced at me and tears ran down his eyes and he sounded like he was pleading something to his boss and then hung up.

“JiYong! What’s going on…”

“Naomi…I’m so sorry.” He groaned as I stared up at him.

“Tell me…”

“God I hate my self for ever putting you thru this. I knew this was too good to be true.”

“You’re scaring me, JiYong please…” I begged.

“The GDTV cameras were installed in my parent’s home two days ago…” He stared at me.

My eyes unfocused as I let that sink in. A gasp escaped my lips. “Wait… in your bedroom too?”

“I’m so sorry! I was so ing wasted…I…” JiYong buried his face into his hands.

“Tell them to get rid of it.” My head was spinning as I sat down on the bed before I passed out.

JiYong stared at me for a long moment and hot tears filled my eyes when I realized that the footage of us was not the worst of it.

“They can’t find the tape can they?”

“Someone stole the raw footage from YG’s desk.” He fell to the ground and his head laid heavily against his knees.

“Oh God!...” I cried not knowing what else to do. Who ever had that tape took it with the intentions of ruining us.

GDRAGON’S POINT OF VIEW

The next few days passed by in a total blur. A whirlwind of numbness that I couldn’t begin to describe wrapped itself around me.

I couldn’t imagine how open and exposed I felt at that moment. My whole life was a show. A ing circus. I was in the middle of the ring as people watched my whole life.

Pictures of Naomi and I kissing the other day in front of a studio leaked onto the internet and confirmed the rumors that Naomi and I were indeed a couple.

And now, one of my most private moments with Naomi was filmed and someone has it. I clenched the bottle of vodka tight as I sat with my back pressed against the bathroom wall.

Just the very idea of someone exposing Naomi like that made me want to kill who ever were responsible.

But in the end it was my fault. I was the one who pulled Naomi into the curious ring with me. I was selfish enough to think that maybe I could keep her all to myself and no one would know.

I knew damn well that every girl I brought into my life would be burned from the spotlight that shown on me every day. And the fame and the scandal would cause her to leave me.

I thought that maybe she could be the one who could tame my life. And for a short moment she was one of the only things that were going good in my world.

I leaned my head back and let the burning liquid run down my throat. The little conscious that was left in my head remembered the little black box buried deep in my suitcase. I got up and stumbled drunkly to the suit case and found the box. I opened it and stared at the two platinum rings with anger.

I couldn’t be selfish anymore. I drank down the rest of my vodka and made my way back to the bathroom to flush the rings down the toilet. It seems like the best way to get rid of them.

I gasped as I felt my foot slip on the marble bathroom floor and everything went dark.

* * *

“JiYong!” Naomi screamed and my eyes shot open from the pain.

I gasped as I realized that a thick tube was in my throat and a mind wrenching pain tore at my insides.

I tried to scream but my body felt paralyzed.

“JiYong!” Naomi screamed and I passed out again.

* * *

My eyes opened again for the second time and I groaned from the pain. My lips were dry and I could feel multiple tubes and iv’s everywhere.

“Naomi…” I said the first name that came to mind.

I glanced at a nurse who was fixing my curtains closed as a helicopter flew by my window.

“Mr. Kwon you’re awake!... Please stay still.” She gasped as I tried to get up.

“I want Naomi!” I gasped as she pushed me back down.

My eyes went to the door as Naomi walked in. She sighed with exhaustion as she came in with a tray of food.

“Nai…” I try to speak.

“JiYong!” she screamed placing the tray down and running to me.

“I’m…sorry.” I tried to say but it came out blurry.

“Shh… Its ok.” She buried her face into my chest and I wrapped my arms around her.

“If you need anything…Just buzz.” The nurse walked out.

“JiYong why did you almost drink yourself to death! If they didn’t pump your stomach you could have died!” She cried angrily at me.

“It’s all my fault…I can’t stand the fact that your suffering because of me.”

“I chose to be with you JiYong! I’m willing to go thru hell with you if I have too…” she whispered and my heart stopped. “I’m not leaving you.”

“The box…” I stared at the box on the nightstand to my left. I must have been holding it when the ambulance came.

“What?” Naomi looked at the box. “JiYong presents can wait.”

“No! This can’t wait.” I sat up pulling the oxygen tubes out.

“Give it to me.” I muttered when she protested about me needing the tubes.

I opened the box. “I know we’ve been together for more. And I should of given this to you a while ago but…”

Naomi gasped when she saw the couple rings. “JiYong…”

“I love you.” I stared at her. “I wanted to take you somewhere special and have hundreds of ing roses everywhere and write it in the sky with a million stars. But I had to get so drunk and pass out and ruin every thing. I’m a complete idiot! I’m a ing mess without you. I know your leaving back to America and I just wanted you to be happy. I freaked out when I found out that YG wanted to sign you up to be my stylist because I didn’t want you to feel robed of your family and your home. I’m totally selfish, but I love you. And I can’t live without you!” I had to catch my breath for a second.

Naomi’s eyes watered. “You’ve been hiding that from me?” She sat down besides me and held my face. “JiYong I love you too…If I didn’t then I wouldn’t be here right now, would I?”

I smiled handing her the ring with roman numerals engraved around it, symbolizing forever. Naomi held her hand out accepting the promise ring and putting on mine afterwards.

She leaned forward kissing me and this moment couldn’t have come at a better time.