I mounted Knight smoothly and held onto the reins tightly. Knight moved around, probably adjusting to my weight but I swear, at that moment my heart nearly jumped out of my ribcage. I gasped yelling, “Kai!”

“Shhh, don’t scream, you’ll scare Knight. Hush.” He shushed me up, patting Knight’s head and body. I clung onto his sides tightly but Kai stopped me and told me to relax and just placed my feet onto the stirrups. Then, he closed his hands around mine and shifted along the reins, telling me that this is the right position to hold it.

“R-right,” I jerked my hands from him, feeling awkward. “I think I can do this.”

Kai smiled. “Of course you can. I’ll be beside you so don’t be scared, all right?”

I nodded, inhaled and exhaled a breath. “Ok let’s go.”

Slowly, he pulled Knight forward and Knight started moving. My heart skipped a beat when he moved but slowly I adjusted to his walking rhythm. By the time Kai was sure that I managed to guide Knight accordingly to the direction that I wanted to go, he let go of the reins and I was free.

“Woo! This is awesome!!” I shouted.

Just then, Kai was riding Horizon just beside me. He was comfortable in riding his horse, unlike me; still feeling unstable as hell but still manageable. “You ready to pick up speed?”

“Um…”

“Don’t worry, Knight is really gentle. And it’ll be fun.” Kai said. I pursed my lips and frowned my brows. Don’t know whether it’s a good idea to actually –

PIAK

Kai slapped Knight’s and my horse doubled forward before picking up speed. I screamed and panicked, clenching onto the reins tightly until my knuckles turned white. The wind blew onto my face and played with my long, brown hair. But that wasn’t the point. The point was: I am not ready.

“Kai! Kai!” I shouted for him to stop this but he was just riding beside me, smiling and tell me to relax. “I can’t! STOP THIS NOW!” Something happened; I think I kicked Knight again and he went even faster. My was hurting from hitting the seat too hard and it doesn’t help when Knight is gaining even more speed.

“Jael! Just calm down!”

“HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO AHHHHH!” Knight made a sharp turn and I swear my entire body shifted to the right, I clung onto the reins to prevent myself from crashing against the ground and breaking my bones from this horse-riding lesson that turned to a disaster. Panic tears sprung out of my eyes and my hands turned cold.

“Gotcha.” With a grace like a tiger, Kai managed to grab my waist and pushed me back to my seat and also sat behind me. He closed his hands around mine and slowed Knight down to a trot. I was still heaving from that shock and when Knight finally stopped, I slapped Kai’s hand away.

“Go – Don’t even bother talking to me.” I rasped, breathing heavily. The slap was hard, and I mean it.

Kai let out a long breath; I could feel his chest rising up and down behind me. “I – I’m so sorry, Jael. It was my fault.”

“Your fault? Definitely. I wasn’t even ready, Kai. I almost died.” My throat closed up, tears choking whatever I wanted to say. I was scared to my wits; the feeling of dying actually scares me more than I ever known. My lips quivered and hands trembled. I sobbed and clenched my fists, trying to stop the obvious tremble.

Kai then pressed his body against my back and covered his hands over mine again. I have no idea what happened but that actually made the tremble stop. With his other hand, he wrapped it around my waist, pulling me closer to him, as if he’s hugging me. He placed his head onto my shoulder and we stayed in this position for a while.

Just Kai listening to my sobs.

Just Kai hushing me with his deep, husky voice.

Just me feeling his warmness against my back.

Just us feeling our happiness that we cannot claim for a moment.

“I was so scared that I would lose you too, Jael.” He whispered against my ear, his thumb circling around my hand softly. “So, so, so scared.”

“I should go, what if people catches us here?” I moved away but Kai pulled me back.

“No, just stay here, please. No one will see us.”

I relaxed myself against him, leaning against his back. He hugged me from behind and planted a swift kiss against my cheek. My heart skipped a happy beat and then again when his lips met the back of my ear and down to my neck – where my own mark of Estrovia lies. His hot breath fanning against my skin and the butterflies in my stomach exploded, fluttering wildly.

Then, somebody cleared his throat. “Kai?”

Kai jerked back from me and I froze in my position. Dang! We’re caught.

“Kyungsoo, here you are. We’ll be there.” Kai said.

“I thought you said nobody will see us,” I said, elbowing his sides teasingly.

“Kyungsoo is fine. I called him over.” Kai tugged onto the reins and Knight started moving again.

“What for?”

“A surprise.”

**

“Oh my gosh, you planned all these?” I exclaimed, closing my hands around my mouth. Under the large tree lay a grand picnic mat with plenty of different sandwiches, teas and biscuits on it. There are a couple of books scattering on the sides of the mat too. It was simple but it’s the effort that counts.

“It’s not that big, is it?” Kai took my hand and pulled me to the mat. “Here, sit.”

I sat beside him, our backs leaning against the tree. “What’s with the occasion? I don’t remember you being so nice.”

“It’s an apology, for making you suffer yesterday… And just now.” He took one of the sandwiches and held it in front of my mouth. I gave him a quizzical look, but he just nodded and urged for me to open my mouth. My cheeks pinked and I took a demure bite of the sandwich. Kai watched me closely, expecting a reply but I just swallowed the sandwich without a second thought.

“How was it?”

“How’s what?”

“My sandwich.”

Ah… That was why he looked at me so intently. This made me blush even more. I cleared my throat and took the sandwich from him, tasting it again. It was the normal egg mayo sandwich so I supposed it tasted the same I usually eat. “It’s good. I like it.”

Kai beamed, handing me another one. “Here, try this.”

“Did you make all these?”

“Yup.” Kai said proudly, he too started munching on his own sandwich. “Woke up this morning to make some for us today. I’m glad you liked it.”

“Wow, you make sandwiches… Impressive.” I said, sipping my tea. I am trying my best to act like a real lady but I doubt it worked. I bet I look awkward as hell. Knight was just beside us, Kai tied the reins around the tree trunk in case he runs off chasing rabbits. I don’t think he would though. But who knows, I don’t know what the animals are thinking.

“Of course. I am not that pampered.” Kai said, folding up his sleeve messily. I chuckled and slapped his hand away softly, replacing it with mine.

“You call that not pampered?” I retorted, folding up his sleeve up to his elbow neatly. Then proceeding to the next arm.

“Well,” he said bashfully, smiling wide and giving me an eye smile that I rarely see. My breath hitched at my throat as I watched Kai ruffling his own already-tousled hair. He stopped smiling then, his face shutting into that blank mask he had all the time. Kai’s eyes twinkled though; ocean blue swirled wildly in his eyes. He’s going to change soon.

“Why must we be related…” He said quietly, the wind carrying his words away.

“Yes, why,” it wasn’t a question when I answered. I wetted my dry lips and let Kai’s hands go, pretending to look somewhere else instead of him. He’s just a distraction; get hold of yourself, Jael.

“Jael,” Kai whispered and I made a mistake by turning into his way.

Our lips met and Kai pulled me closer. His lips brushed against mine. Softly and lightly as a hush at first. A romantic wave rushed into my heart, thudding rapidly. Kai’s fingers threaded through my own locks of brown hair, bringing me closer and deepening the kiss into something more urgent and forbidden.

Kai wants me.

I want him. But both of us know it’s impossible. Forbidden. His sorrows and mine seemed to mix in this forbidden kiss. It was a mistake from the start for the both of us.

A beautiful mistake.