The door to the hospital room opened and Taemin and Jinki both glanced up as the doctor walked in, flipping through the file for the youngest. “We have the results of the tests back…”

“And?” Jinki’s impatience would have annoyed almost anyone else, but the doctor could tell it was simply because the eldest was worried for the kid and brushed it off.

A smile formed on his lips, telling them immediately it wasn’t anything bad. “It’s not serious. It just seems you have a case of iron-deficiency anemia. With some changes in your diet and iron supplements, the symptoms should go away on their own without complications.”

While Taemin was the one being told what was wrong with him, it was Jinki that let out a sigh of relief. “Thank god he is okay.” When he looked back at the doctor, he raised his voice from the whispers to himself. “Thank you for taking care of him.” Taemin nodded along, not really paying attention and the doctor left after talking with his hyung. “Come on Taemin, we can leave now.”

He listened and as they started to make their way through the halls and down to the parking garage, Taemin finally opened his mouth to speak. “I told you I was fine.”

“I just wanted to make sure. Anemia isn’t something to mess with either. It can mess with your heart and cause a bunch of problems.” He stopped walking in the middle of the parking garage, a few feet from the car. Taemin didn’t though, continuing until he reached the car and only then looking back at Jinki, finding the man staring at him.

“The doctor said it wasn’t serious and here you are trying to make it seem like it is. Forget about it. And don’t tell the others. If you’re like this, I’m afraid of what they would be like.” He got into the car, slamming the door behind him and glaring at Jinki through the windshield. What’s the matter with him?

“We’re back!” The second the two were in the apartment, Jinki was announcing their arrival. Before any of the others answered back though, Taemin was already storming through, headed straight for his room.

The door opened just as he got there and Jonghyun popped his head out, smiling when he saw Taemin. “How was shopping?” Our excuse to where we went.... They actually listened?

“Hated it. Move. Go talk to hyung or something.” With more force than he had ever used before, he pushed Jonghyun out of the doorway and walked in, slamming and locking the door behind him.

“What’s your problem, Taemin?” A fist pounded on the door, but he ignored it, going straight for his bed and reaching under. His fingers barely grazed a bag down there, but he managed to pull it out and opened it. His left hand uncurled from the fist it was in the whole time and a small bottle of pills fell into the bag. After digging through his pockets, some pamphlets from the doctor went in as well. “You can’t lock me out of my own room Taemin!”

He didn’t bother answering to that as he zipped the bag back up and stuffed it back where it was. The pounding on the door finally stopped, though that wasn’t necessarily a good thing. Yet, as Taemin went to stand, he decided hiding that under the bed wasn’t the safest place for it to not be found. Especially after how he acted—Jonghyun was definitely going to check the room for anything from him. Getting back on his hands and knees, he pulled the bag back out and grabbed a small notebook from down there as well, sticking that in one of the pockets on the bag as well.

It didn’t seem like there was anywhere in the room Jonghyun wouldn’t search though, if he really wanted to find something on him. Expect one place. “Taemin, come out here!” As Kibum’s voice came through the door now, Taemin couldn’t help but smirk and he silently slid across the wood flooring to the other side of the room where Jonghyun’s bed was. “I’m going to pick the lock on this door if you don’t open up now!”

“One minute, one minute!” He slid the bag under the bed and to the furthest corner before standing, pulling off his shirt as he did. “Can’t a person get changed with the door locked without having threats thrown at them?” He threw it across the room and it landed perfectly in the basket. Going along with his act, he ed and ped his pants, running a hand through his hair to mess it up more just before opening the door. “All of you banging and I’m rushing to get decent.”

It wasn’t just Kibum there, but all four of the members. Were they going to take turns trying to get me out of here? Immediately, all of their faces took on a tint of pink or red, but Taemin wasn’t focusing on that. Everything was spinning in front of his eyes and the black spots were starting to cover his vision. He was probably starting to sway a little too with how dizzy he felt, he figured. They cannot know. Leaning on the doorway, he gave a little smirk that would have probably looked so cool if he could have seen it. How he’d wished he could have seen their reactions to it, but that wasn’t possible at the moment. “I’m going to get back to that. Okay?”

There were mumbled replies from them and Taemin didn’t even wait for them to start to leave to close the door in their faces. Three sets of footsteps padded off, but he knew one person stayed. Who that was didn’t matter then, though, and he focused all of his energy into getting changed without killing himself of objects he couldn’t see. Finally, he managed—and with only a few little bumps and bruises too!—and walked out, ready to face whoever it was outside. “Are you okay?” Jinki was right by his ear, whispering as he guided the maknae through the small hall. “You seemed really dizzy.”

“Did the others realize?” The eldest shook his head and let go of Taemin just before they came into view of the others. None of them said anything when he entered and Minho even looked away with pink-tinged cheeks when Taemin sat next to him. The black spots were almost gone in time to see Jonghyun stand from his chair and stalk down the hall towards their room. If he listened closely, he swore he could already hear drawers being opened and closed.

“Taemin-ah?” Kibum stuck his head out of the kitchen and though he called for the one boy, it got the attention of everyone. “Do you want some lunch?”

Taemin hadn’t even realized it until then, but he wasn’t hungry at all. It was already well into the afternoon—past two even—and he hadn’t eaten except for a few bites at breakfast that weren’t even enough food for a small child, but he wasn’t the tiniest bit hungry. “Thank you hyung, but I’m not really hungry. I’m sorry.” He saw the smile on Kibum’s face drop a little bit and was almost going to say he would eat something, but there was the feeling of anything he put in his stomach was going to come right back up and that would only hurt the cook more. “I’m really sorry hyung, but I don’t feel well. I’d rather enjoy your cooking when I feel better, then I can eat more of it!”

“If you’re just saying you aren’t hungry because you are trying to drop the few pounds of baby fat you got back, you don’t have to starve yourself. You’re still the skinniest person here.” But Kibum listened and walked out of the kitchen, looking around before his eyes fell on the empty chair. “Where’s Jjong?”

“His room.” Minho didn’t even look away from the soccer game on the screen as he answered. Kibum nodded and bypassed sitting with them to go after the dino. And while Taemin was acting like it was not a problem at all on the outside, he was freaking out inside. If Kibum helps him, they are definitely going to find it. I’m going to be screwed and they won’t let it go and this is bad… “You okay Taemin? You sure you don’t want to go to a doctor?” Jinki stood at that and practically ran to his room to laugh at the comment. Even though he couldn’t actually hear it, Taemin knew exactly how he was laughing at the maknae’s luck and how he wasn’t going to do a thing to help.

“Yeah hyung! I’m fine, just a little tired. I haven’t gotten to take a rest yet today.” He gave a—hopefully—convincing smile and saw the worry in Minho’s eyes go down the slightest. “Why do you ask?”

“I’ve been calling your name for over a minute but you’ve just been staring at the floor. Jonghyun wants to see you in your room.” Crap.

“Should we even ask you to explain or should we just get Jinki-hyung?” The pamphlets, pill bottle, and even his journal where he wrote every time he didn’t feel well were spread across the floor of the bedroom, Key and Jonghyun each manning a place by the door so that Taemin couldn’t possibly run out to ignore them. Not like he had the energy to anyways.

“If you can’t tell from the stuff, hyung took me to the hospital after this morning. I honestly paid no attention, so if you want information, read the pamphlets or ask hyung. You can look at any of that,” he motioned to the majority of the things, but reached down to grab the notebook, “but I’m keeping my journal. You don’t need to know what I write in here. It’s nothing to do with being sick.”

“It isn’t?” Key cocked an eyebrow at him, even going as far as crossing his arms over his chest as he looked at Taemin. “I quote, ‘I think the hyungs are starting to catch on to something. During our performance today, I almost fainted on Kibum-hyung and then during the talking, they kept asking me if I was okay. And they never talk to me during those things. So I just lied about there being a bug. After all, they can’t know.’” His gaze softened a little, looking almost sympathetic. “If you’re sick Taemin, just tell us. None of us want you hurting yourself or pushing yourself to hard if you don’t feel well.”

They didn’t even know what had happened when Taemin wailed the book across the room. It hit the wall hard enough to make a few cracks in the paint and fell onto his bed with a thud, but while the two looked at that, Taemin was glaring at them with a fire in his eyes. “Maybe I don’t want that.” He was speaking through his teeth and when they looked back at him, he didn’t let the glare up. All of them could hear the footsteps racing to the door from outside, but it was kept locked by Jonghyun.

“What happened in there?” Jinki was ignored by them all. “Is everyone okay?”

“This is why I didn’t say anything to any of you! Every single one of you is acting like I’m a freaking glass doll that will break if you touch me!” His voice was reaching a pitch they had only heard before in horror films, but everything Taemin was doing seemed to come straight from one as well. “There are plenty of other people, other idols, who have the same exact thing and they don’t get babied for it. Krystal passed out in a concert from anemia and no one cared about it. Sungmin-sunbae has anemia and no one in SuJu cares about it. So why do you act any different for me?! It’s not like I’m dying!”

In their shock, he pushed between the two and opened the door to a startled Minho and Jinki. Not even caring, he pushed between the two and stormed to the main door, stuffing his feet into shoes without even caring if they were the same or on properly and walked out, leaving the dorm in complete silence. Slowly, Jinki walked into the room that was now wide open, looked from the things on the floor to the two members frozen by the door, and finally to the notebook on the bed.

As it had fallen, the pages had opened to a random one and he hesitantly picked it up, looking down at the shaky handwriting. I’d asked Kai today if he had ever felt like I’ve been feeling. He just laughed and looked at me. “Maybe you’re dying,” he had said. But he was still laughing. “You’re just over-reacting hyung. It’s probably just because of how busy and tired you are.” But wouldn’t I have gotten better with all the rest I’ve had recently? I’m not though, it’s only getting worse. What if I am actually dying? The line was crossed out, but he could still see it clearly. There were a few dried wet-spots on the page, and it didn’t take a genius to know Taemin had been crying as he had written it. While the page didn’t have a date, it must have gone back a while—they hadn’t had any rest at all until that day recently. But no one can know. I’m probably just getting older.

I’m still scared though.