“So you have chemo tomorrow and they are going to look and see when your stitches can come out…” Minho looked at Taemin across the kitchen table as he told the schedule during breakfast the next day. “And they are going to say when you have to go back for the full check-up to see how well the surgery went long-term. Are you excited?”

Taemin gave a little shrug, poking the plate of food in front of him. Every now and then, he’d take a small spoonful of rice and eat it, but that was barely anything. He just wasn’t hungry. That was normal, but not to the degree he was at then. “Minnie?” He looked up to Key. “Since I couldn’t go out with you on what was supposed to be my day in June and then you had the surgery at the end of last month, do you want to go out at the end of this month?”

“Sure umma.” His voice was weak and lifeless and it was only after a few seconds of looking at the worried faces of Key and everyone else that he went back to looking at his bowl of rice. He used the metal spoon to push some of the white grains towards the walls of the matching metal cup, but didn’t eat any.

“Are you okay?” As the one sitting next to him, Jinki placed a hand on his shoulder and got closer to Taemin, feeling his forehead for a temperature. “You don’t seem to have a fever…”

“I’m fine.” That was one of the biggest lies he had ever told and they all knew it, but none of them pushed Taemin to talking. As he continued playing with the rice, they continued talking about random things.

He never noticed Jonghyun sneak up to get the phone so that it was right there at the table. And none of them noticed the maknae still until the little clank of the spoon on the bowl silenced the table better than any alarm would have. Four heads whipped towards Taemin to see as the hand that used to be holding the spoon reached right for his chest and his skin paled even more than it already was. His head dropped even lower, until his forehead was resting on the cold surface of the wooden table as he gasped for air that wasn’t coming in.

There didn’t need to be coughs for any of them to know what was happening. Immediately, Jinki was prying Taemin’s one hand out of its death-grip on the table so that he could move him back a little. Jonghyun had the phone to his ear in seconds and was talking calmly but fast into it, relaying information every now and then to anyone listening. Key scrambled out of the room to get Taemin’s hospital bag they still hadn’t unpacked at Jonghyun’s direction and Minho joined Jinki in holding Taemin straight in the chair.

The boy’s hands were actually being held back by the two as he almost ripped at the stitches in any hope for relief. His body shook on the chair and in their arms, but there was nothing they could do but wait. For minutes that seemed like hours, they sat there just holding the boy and whispering to him that it would be okay. After finishing talking to the doctor on the phone, Jonghyun put it down and joined them, staying back a few feet to give some air to Taemin. Key joined him a minute later, a duffle-bag next to him. “The doctor said to take him back to the hospital after as soon as possible. As long as it passes in five minutes, we don’t need to call an ambulance, he said.”

His voice was low as he spoke to them, the only noise other than Taemin’s gasps that broke the silence. “Well I’m not waiting.” Jinki moved away from Taemin only the tiniest bit, but a hand latched on to his arm and pleading eyes met his, speaking even when his body couldn’t. “Taemin, I’m going to carry you, okay?” It could have just been his body shaking, but it looked like he nodded to Jinki. “Jonghyun, you’re driving.”

He didn’t even wait for a response before lifting Taemin’s small frame easily. Minho ran ahead of him to open the door and Jinki didn’t even bother with shoes as he walked out. Those were grabbed by the rapper along with his own as he jogged out after them, followed shortly by Jonghyun and Key. Four sets of sock-clad feet ran across the tile floors faster than they had run before. “Just take the elevator. Instead of bouncing him up and down.”

Jinki didn’t even know who told him to do that, but he listened and practically smashed the button in with his foot in his haste to catch it.

Luck seemed to be on their side as the elevator was just on the floor and they piled in. Shoes were finally put on during the minute ride down and Jinki’s were put on by Minho without any time to tie them before he was running out the open doors. No one argued as Key climbed into the back of an SUV and Jinki took the middle with Taemin, Minho and Jonghyun taking the front. There wasn’t any time for them to.

Seatbelts were forgotten and safety laws all but broken as the car took off, barely staying legal. Only after they were there did anyone realize Taemin’s gasping had stopped. Three sets of not-busy eyes focused on the boy, but Jinki was the one to ask anything first. “Does it still hurt?” Taemin gave a weak nod. “Like before?” He shook his head slightly and a sigh of relief went out through the car.

It wasn’t the time for relaxing just then though.

“And…” Key drew the one word out as he focused the camera on Taemin, filming the boy sitting up in the hospital bed. “Taemin’s back in the hospital again. Two nights out and he’s back.”

“Maybe I just hate living with you guys.” He was joking, but his weak voice took a lot of the humor out of it. “Besides, I’m only here because of the surgery and the chance that I screwed something up. I did tear stitches from my chest.”

“And stain Jinki-hyung’s shirt.” Key seemed too chipper as he said that to the camera. “Can’t forget the shirt. It’s going to go down in history.” He grabbed the leader’s arm and pulled him up from where he was sitting, spinning the poor man around to show the shirt with strips of red on it. “He stained the bear shirt.”

“It’s not that bad. It might come out in a few washes. You know… twenty or so.”

“I’m just throwing it out as soon as Jonghyun comes back with a new one for me.” Jinki freed his arm and looked back at the maknae on the bed. “Sorry Taemin, but I don’t really want a shirt with your blood all over it.”

“Like I said, it might come out.” Taemin gave a sheepish smile before giving up on arguing the point. “So do I still have chemo tomorrow or what?”

The two shrugged and looked at each other as if they might know. “Minho’s finding that out.”

“Minho found that out,” the rapper said as he entered. “Yeah. They’re keeping you tonight and tomorrow night, so they are.”

“Fun.” The tone of his voice said anything but, yet Taemin still gave a smile to the camera when it turned back towards him.

“You know, you always act like you didn’t almost die whenever you end up in the hospital for an attack.” Key pointed out what Jonghyun had been saying for a while, zooming in on Taemin’s face for a reaction.

There was one. “Do you want me to act like I see a light at the end of darkness? I can give some pretty good ‘I’m dying’ moans for that if you want.” There was light laughter around the room and Taemin smiled as himself, proud of the joke. “Besides, it would be all depressing then. We aren’t fit to be depressing. Shiny things aren’t depressed.”

“Razors.”

“Guns.”

“Bullets.”

“Dead eyes.” Everyone stopped and looked at Jinki, who looked back completely innocent. “What? Did I say something wrong?”

“Chemo day! Are you ready for this Taemin?” Jonghyun was too hyper for the maknae as walked backwards with the camera. Without missing a beat, Taemin reached his arm up from the wheelchair he was forced to use now and smacked the singer in the stomach, trying not to wince as he hit hard muscle. “Was that supposed to hurt me?”

“Shut up…”

“But you didn’t answer if you were ready or not!” He got a little close with the camera and Taemin stuck his tongue out at it when it was too close for comfort.

“Sure. I am. Just get that out of my face.” And Jonghyun listened, pulling away immediately. The orderly pushing only gave a smile at the two while the other three just walked along behind, lost in their own conversations.

After all, it was just another day in the hospital for them.

It shouldn’t have been something they were getting used to, yet they were. And while they hoped Taemin would get better and they wouldn’t have to go anymore, that wasn’t possible. So they hoped the days in the hospital would continue.

Because it meant their maknae was alive, even if it was just barely.