It was three weeks before he had to return for more chemo. Three weeks where Taemin could do whatever he wanted as long as he careful. But the one thing he wanted to do… “I want to go back to doing schedules with you guys!”

“No!” It wasn’t even that one of them was saying it; it was all four members and the manager that were turning down his request.

“But you said I could do whatever I wanted! I want to go back to working!” Taemin crossed his arms and stamped his foot like a little kid, but it was his time to act like that and not get in trouble. “If and when I get worse, I won’t be able to do anything and I will have missed out on everything.”

“It’s too dangerous Taeminnie. You can get hurt or sick in so many ways from performing now.” Kibum always seemed to be the one used to talk sense into him now, but for once, Taemin refused to listen at all.

“We all heard the doctor say it will be a while before I’m to the point of not being able to work. And I’ll wear a mask to protect myself and I’ll only dance or sing, I won’t do both. Will that make you feel better? I’ll even stop if I don’t feel well.” He looked at Kibum first and then to the manager with pleading eyes. “Please?”

The collective sigh from the group told him he had won. “There’s a recording for a variety show tomorrow. If at any point you don’t feel well, you are to tell someone immediately. Understood?” He nodded with a smile to the manager. “Then I am going to make some calls and tell them to expect one more tomorrow.”

As soon as he was out of sight, Taemin jumped in the air pumping his fist. The others only looked at him strangely, but he didn’t care then. “I get to go tomorrow!”

“Since when have you liked working this much?”

He shrugged at Jonghyun, a little calmer but still bouncing in place. “Since I haven’t been able to work in what feels like ages.”

“But you know what is strange?” Minho looked at all of them, gaining their attention with his random speaking. “A week ago, none of us even knew about this.”

“This all happened so fast…” Kibum looked to the youngest before anyone else did when he suddenly stilled and became quiet. "What's wrong Taemin-ah?"

"You guys are all shocked by quick this all seems to you, but to me, it seems so slow. Like, it feels like months since I was first getting tested already, but here I am less than a week later having chemo done... I feel like I missed so much in between, because there wasn't really time to get used to the idea of dying," everyone else winced at that, but he didn't even stumble over the word, continuing right on, "and the doctors were already trying to treat it. We don't even know if it is cancer or not, but since they don't know what else it could be, it's getting treated like it is. For you, that seemed so fast, but to me, I was already able to say I wasn't going to die before I left the hospital and before you knew, I was already able to say I would get chemo done. It was like I had made weeks of deliberations in less than an hour, like days were shortened to minutes for me." Looking at the other four, he shrugged. "But I guess that is just me."

Taemin could barely contain his excitement as he got in the van with the others the next morning knowing he was actually going to do something for the day. He didn't feel the greatest, but that was chemo for him and he shrugged it off to enjoy the day. Nothing can ruin today for me, not being sick nor anyone. "Are you sure you feel up to this, Taemin-ah?" Jin asked for what must have been the hundredth time, since Taemin had lost count long ago. Except maybe him.

"I already said yes. And everyone will be sure to know the second I don't." He watched the city fly past the window by what was now his seat right by the door. After the night coming back from the hospital, he had only been allowed to sit there, but it wasn't bad with the view. There might have been more talk during the ride, but if there was, he had paid no attention to it. His mind was only focused on one thing, and that was the recording they were heading for.

Pulling into the parking lot, he was almost shocked to see all the fans out there holding up signs for the band. Of course, none of them knew he was there with the others, but his name was still on all of the signs even when he wasn't expected. Jinki led the others out first while he struggled to put on the hat and mask, but he couldn't help but smile at all the screaming fans. Just as Minho was finishing up the group as they filed out, he tagged onto the end to follow after him.

The second Taemin stepped out of the van behind the others, the crowd went silent. Never before had they ever heard so many fans not make a sound, but it happened as they all looked at the maknae, who had started off trying to give eye smiles but soon just focused on the ground in front of his feet, not able to stand the silence. And then... "Get better soon Taemin-oppa! We will wait for you to return healthy again!" The girl's voice had carried from somewhere in the middle of the group to the front, but it seemed to stir something in the crowd as they became even louder than before. Taemin finally looked back up with a few tears running down his face and into the mask, scanning over the whole crowd cheering for him.

"Thank you." He gave a full-out bow to the gathered people before scurrying after the others as they left, catching up just as they got through the doors. Once they were inside, it wasn't nearly as loud or cold to Taemin's standard and he took off the hat, but left the mask on for the time being. "What show are we even filming? I didn't pay any attention."

"Happy Together." Minho didn't even hesitate in answering.

Jonghyun paused in his step, turning towards the frog. "Really?" He got a nod. "I thought we were going on Strong Heart."

"That ended months ago smart one!" Kibum smacked the back of the dino's head as he passed him, barely cracking a smile at his whine. "Are you going to move it before we are late for getting ready?"

Taemin knew he had to expect some of the older stars on the show fawning over him as the news got around, but he had not expected everyone to. He couldn't go three steps across the set without someone calling out to him and it was tiring. Yet the actual recording was still hours away, and at the rate things were going, he wasn't going to make it to then.

Returning to the dressing room, there was a couch pushed against the one wall and to the tired boy, it looked like the most comfortable bed at the moment. Using his sweater from before the costume change as a blanket, he laid down curled in a ball with his head resting on the hand not stabbed with a line straight to his vein. Before he even knew what was happening, he was out like a light.

He woke up some time later to someone trying to pull him up sitting. It wasn't that hard with how light he was, but the person seemed to be unable to do it. Cracking a tired eye open, it didn't shock him to see Kibum there, in full out professional diva mode, finally Key for the first time in a week to Taemin. "What time is it?"

"Half an hour to the recording. You have to get your hair touched up if you're doing this, but if you don't feel good, you can go back to sleep and people will understand." But Taemin shook his head quickly before standing, clutching onto Kibum's arm as the world span for a few seconds. "Are you sure you want to do this?"

"Of course."