“It’s seven-nineteen on the thirtieth of April, exactly one month since I was first diagnosed.” Taemin stretched backwards to crack his back as he spoke to the camera, seeming almost bored. “I don’t really have much to say for today. I’m going out with Jinki-hyung later since the others decided once a month I get to spend a day with a single one of them, and this month is his. And I just found out about this last night.”

“Stop complaining. You were excited when I told you.” Jinki didn’t even bother coming out of the kitchen to add onto Taemin’s video, becoming just a voice with no source on the camera. “And stop trying to make me seem like a bad person.”

“I’m not!” Taemin whined over his shoulder, looking away from the camera. “I’m just saying it how it is.”

“So I’m a bad person?”

“Only if you think you are.” He turned back to the camera and leaned closer before whispering so his voice would be picked up. “Hyung, I think you’re a really great person.”

“What are you saying now?” Jinki was in the doorway between the living room and kitchen, a plate of pancakes in one hand and a bottle of strawberry milk in the other. “Because if it is bad, I won’t give you breakfast out here.”

“I’m saying you’re a horrible person. Now give me my pancakes.” And he actually got them. Sitting in front of the camera, he began to eat while looking around, thinking of what to say. Jinki only sat on the couch behind him, watching a muted television and eating his own food. “I don’t really feel much different besides being sick from the chemo, but it’s only been a month, so I guess I shouldn’t expect too much yet.” He gave a little shrug, rolling the tip of his fork on his lip as he was silent. “And I’m glad that at least Taesun came here, though I wish he would have stayed and continued with school and everything. I don’t want his last memories of me to be like this. I really don’t want any of you to remember me like this either…” The first of his tears gathered in his eyes and started to go down his cheeks, but he didn’t do anything to stop them.

“I guess I can’t do anything about that though.” He gave a sad smiled before going back to eating the pancakes now that they were cooler. “These are pretty good by the way, hyung.”

There was a snort behind him and when Taemin turned to look, Jinki’s plate was abandoned as he tried to hide his laughter in his hands. “You’re being all sentimental and then you just say that?”

“Well it’s true…” Taemin was pouting by now. “If you want, I’ll take it back and say they are horrible.”

“No no. Good is perfectly fine.”

“Since I figured you’d be bored of shopping since that seems to be what everyone thinks you want to do,” Jinki caught Taemin nodding from the corner of his eye and continued, “I figured I’d give you a choice. We can go to the park and hang out, we can meet up with some of your friends, or you can tell me something else you want to do. We just have to be ready for something at 7. My only rule.”

Taemin was silent for a minute as he thought and the eldest waited patiently in the parked car, needing to know where he was heading before he left. After Taemin seemed to have decided, he gave another nod. “Can we just go to the offices? I just want to fool around there, maybe meet up with some people as they go to practice.”

And while it wasn’t exactly what Jinki had wanted to do all day, he agreed to it. After all, it was Taemin’s day.

After hours of just walking around the building and fooling around with trainees Jinki didn’t even realize Taemin knew, the maknae was ready to go to what Jinki had planned. With a smile on his face the eldest grabbed the younger’s hand and they started towards the elevator. “I thought you said we were going somewhere?”

“We are.” Jinki stepped in and pulled Taemin with him. “You’re just very good at seeming to know where.” The lift came a stop on the top floor and both let out a sigh of relief when the doors opened. “Have any ideas yet?”

“I know we are going to the roof…” Taemin was even able to lead the way to the stairwell going up, looking to Jinki just to make sure. Once he got a nod, he took the lead up the stairs, setting a slow pace for himself. “Are we… watching the sun set?”

“That’s part of it.” Jinki’s voice held a teasing tone. “Think of all the things you have said you have wanted to do in the past year.”

“We aren’t going bungee jumping or sky diving…” Just the fact that he said that, like it could have been a possibility at some point, had Jinki smiling. After going through more things they wouldn’t be doing, he shook his head and shrugged. “I give up. What?”

But he only got a head shake. “We are almost there. Just wait a minute.” They reached the top of the stairs and Taemin went to reach for the doorknob, only for a piece of fabric to slip over his face. “Don’t take that off until I say so. Just grab onto my arm and follow me.” And without hesitation, the maknae did so. When the door was opened, a chilly breeze blew on them and Taemin jumped a little from it. As if Jinki knew that was going to happen though, a coat was draped over his shoulders. Without being able to see, he was guided across the rooftop he knew like the back of hand.

When he was seated in a chair, Taemin couldn’t help but reach for the blindfold. “Don’t take it off!” His hand was swatted away and with a pout, he listened. There was the sound of a chair being moved slightly across the concrete, and then a clinking like glass on glass. After a second clink and a rushing sound of something being poured, Jinki’s voice reached his ears again. “You can take it off now.” Slowly, Taemin’s hands reached behind his head to untie the knot in the cloth and once it was off, he opened his eyes.

And in front of him was a dinner that looked like it belonged in a five star restaurant during a proposal. Jinki only gave him his too-common smile. “Surprise!” Seeing the maknae so shocked, his smile got bigger. “It’s all your favorite foods and I got Kyuhyun-hyung to help me pick the best wine. You’d always said you were looking forward to being able to drink legally but kept forgetting that you could…”

“Hyung…” Taemin seemed at a loss for words as he looked at it all, set up so nicely in a spot with so many memories.

But Jinki didn’t seem to be listening as he cut a piece of steak and picked it up with his fork, placing it in Taemin’s open mouth. “Close your mouth or you’ll catch flies.” And he listened, chewing on the meat as tears started to come.

With a small smile, he tried wiping them away. “I’m always crying so much now. I’m turning into Jonghyun-hyung.”

“Well don’t cry tonight. Just enjoy this meal with a smile. Eat as much or as little as you like, but eat some of it.” He turned to eating for himself now, making sure the maknae did the same. “You have to be fueled for the performance tomorrow.”

“What?” He was shocked, but not angry. If anything, Taemin seemed happy to hear that. “I get to do another performance?”

“Of course.” Reaching an arm across the table, Jinki rubbed the dancer's head, as if he was ruffling hair that wasn’t there. “We need you for us to be SHINee.”

“Let’s get going to this performance!” Taemin was trying to stand up from the chair in the doctor’s office the second the blood tubes were disconnected from his catheter. That would have been perfectly fine—if he hadn’t had four full tubes drawn. The second he was off the chair, he was tipping dangerously to his right and with a smiling-yet-worried face, the nurse steadied him and sat him back in the chair.

“After you rest for a minute. Eat your cookie and drink the juice first.” Jin watched the maknae with humor-filled eyes as he munched on the small chocolate chip cookie and drank the small carton of apple juice as fast as he could. The whole time, the nurse stood there making sure he stayed put. Only after he was done for a complete minute did she step back so that he could stand. “Slowly, or else you’ll get lightheaded again.”

And he listened as best he could, standing slower than before and giving his thanks to her before bouncing across the room to Jin. “Can we go now? The others are already there!” With a nod, he led the excited boy back through the hospital to the van that wasn’t really needed for just him.

For the entire short ride, he talked nonstop about anything and everything, but when they pulled up at the studio and he got out, the maknae suddenly went quiet and white. Before anything was done though, he was shaking his head and smiling again, bouncing around as they entered the recording place.

In the dressing room, the other four were all ready to go, so when Taemin entered, the attention of all the stylists was on him as they hurried to get him into costume and prepared for the stage. And with only seconds before they had to go to the stage entrance, he was done. As they jogged down the hall, he was still pulling on his hat, but he was dressed and ready. Standing on their little platform with the crowd all around the circle, it was then that Taemin realized just how much he had at stake. Looking into the crowd and seeing all the fans cheering for them, wanting to hear more.

It was then that he realized how much he had to try and get through it all, so that he could see a scene like that again.

Aside might have been opening and Jinki might have been staring at him the whole time, but he was too lost in his thoughts to care. He came out from his thoughts just before Jonghyun’s line finished, picking up his perfectly without anyone suspecting anything.

And as his chest felt tighter this time, he was sure it wasn’t simply because he was sick.

It was now because he realized all there was to live for, and he wasn’t even thinking about it. And that added a new pressure on him.