Jonghyun let out a sigh as he sat in front of the camera that was so familiar to all of them. “It’s Monday, May sixth at three-oh-six in the afternoon and I’m going to start today with a story.” He took a shaky breath, trying to look at the camera but not being able to build up the willpower to show his teary eyes every time. “A long time ago, there lived two families that weren’t all that well off compared to everyone around them, but when you compared the two, there was one that seemed rich and one that seemed poor—they were some of the poorest of the poor. They were ordinary families, the Lees and the Kims. Nothing special about them. Both families had two kids; for the Lees, it was two boys. We are going to call the youngest son T. And for the Kims, they had a daughter and a younger son—we’re going to call him J.”

He paused to take another breath and swallow hard before he continued. “There might have been a three year age difference between their second sons, but the two still were together from the day T was born on. But T was like a prince and J was just a lowly thief compared to him, even if his family had more money and a higher position than the Lees. As they grew older and were in school, J started to realize it wasn’t good for him to be hanging around T, that he was just going to cause the boy problems by staying around. He started acting cold to T, and even then, the boy clung to him, not wanting to let go.” Tears dripped off his face and landed on the ground, but he still continued without looking up at the camera. “He ended up having his first heartbreak when J pushed him away, saying he hated T and never wanted to see him again. It was only for the good of the boy, though, that he did it. T just had to grow a little older to realize it, he thought.

“Years went by and J always watched T without interfering. He dropped out of school and decided to try for a singing job in Seoul, trying to get the prince he knew out of his head. After working hard for audition after audition, he got in. But… the year before, so had his prince.” Jonghyun grabbed a water bottle to take a sip, his mouth dry from talking so much. But he still continued. “For years, he did everything to not have to work with T, but it seemed inevitable when they were put in the same group.

“But then, as if the best news to him, T came up to him one day after their group practices. He had said, ‘I know why you left me alone back then.’ And J got all excited, thinking that the boy he knew had finally grown old enough and understood his reasons. But T only looked at him with sadness in his eyes. ‘You were better than I was. You had more money and a more caring family and you had better people to hang out with than me. I understand,’ he said, ‘I understand it. But I want to get past that if we can and start over.’ J never got to tell him the truth, and since the idea that T had was better than the truth, he let it go.”

Finally, Jonghyun looked up at the camera, tears still spilling down his face. “Taemin, I’m sorry. I never really told you why I left you like I had when we were kids. But I was a troublemaker, and I didn’t want you to do the same things that I had. It was the only way to make sure you grew up like the prince you were supposed to be. But because of that, we lost years of a friendship that was great. We lost years as brothers. I can never make it up, but I’m sorry.” And like that, he broke down, sobbing so hard he couldn’t even turn off the camera. For over five minutes, he sat there, curled in a ball with his face in his hands as his sobs were the only noise in the apartment.

Only after he had calmed down enough to realize the camera was still on did he shut it off, but he didn’t do anything to erase any of the clip. He felt he didn’t have the right to.

“You sure you’re up for this Taemin? You don’t look so good…” The whole dressing room was silent as Jin spoke to the half-asleep Taemin on the couch, having just woken the boy to talk to him.

“I’m fine.” He let out a yawn so large in contradiction of what he said, but stood and stretched before giving a big smile. “I just needed a little pick-me-up before going on stage.”

“Then go get your makeup done.” He gave a small pat on the boy’s back and a gently push towards the makeup chair. And once Taemin was sitting there listening to the stylist talk on and on, Jin gathered the other members to him. “Watch him and make sure nothing happens, okay?”

“What’s got you worked up all of a sudden hyung?” Jinki looked at the uneasy manager with curious-yet-worried eyes. “Do you know something we don’t?”

Yes. “No. It’s just…” he glanced over his shoulder to Taemin and then back to the others, “he always seems to have bad luck after performances and not feeling well, so I want you to keep an eye on him. That’s all.” With a smile, he stepped away from them just as Taemin came walking towards the group, pulling a cap on his head. “You guys have to head to the waiting area, so fighting!”

Pulling Taemin along with him, Kibum took the lead of the group as they navigated through the halls to the specified area, blabbing on and on as he went. The maknae didn’t even bother trying to act like he was listening, telling them all that something was wrong. “You okay Taemin-ah?”

He snapped back to reality at the sound of his name and flashed Jonghyun a smile that was almost convincing. “Of course hyung. Why wouldn’t I be?”

When the lights flickered to a brighter setting in the room, telling them that the stage was just cleared and another band was sneaking on in the dark, they knew something was wrong. Maybe it had to do with the fact that Taemin immediately turned his head in Jinki’s shoulder and shielded his eyes or the little yelp of pain followed by a groan, but they knew. “Do you have a headache or something?”

There wasn’t even a response to Minho at first, just a nod. “Can you guys keep your voices down? It hurts…”

“We’re going on stage in less than five minutes with screaming fans and you asking us to lower our voices below whispers because it hurts?” If they hadn’t known Kibum, it would have sounded like he was angry. In actuality, he was concerned for Taemin. “How are you going to be able to stand it out there?”

“Same way I have been for the past hour. Smiling and faking. But please…” Microphone packs and earpieces were handed out to them and listening to Taemin, they put them in with complete silence in the room. For the few minutes before they were on, they continued the silence as each member took a turn massaging Taemin’s head against his protests, trying to help any way they could.

And right before they went on, he let out a sigh and put on a huge smile acting like nothing was wrong.

After all, that was exactly what they were trained for. No one would suspect anything if they didn’t know anything was wrong.

“It’s currently a few minutes before eight in the morning on the sixteenth of May and we are heading in for Taemin’s third chemo session.” Jinki narrated the video as he walked with the camera right in front of his face, capturing things as he would see them. “Taemin-ah, how are you feeling about today?”

“Normal.” He didn’t even bother trying to sound interested in it. “After the first time, the excitement was over. After the second time, the fear was gone. Now I’m just hoping I won’t get sick heading home today.”

“We have a bucket and a bag if you do!” Kibum patted the youngest on the shoulder, like that news would help him.

“And a pillow and blanket for if you want to sit outside again!” Jonghyun joined in on annoying the maknae, both of them finding it funny when he shrugged them off.

“Thanks for caring.” His voice dripped with sarcasm before he walked right up to the desk, signing in like he had done the other times and walking towards the elevator, not even bothering to look for the others. That didn’t stop them from catching up though. “Are you going to film all of this?”

“I want to be able to see what I see now later on.” Jinki didn’t turn the camera away from Taemin even the slightest. “You’re cranky today.”

“You would be too if you woke up hacking a lung out.” As soon as he snapped at them, they all fell silent and the anger in his face finally fell. “I’m sorry… I didn’t mean to—”

“Maybe I should turn the camera off for today…” Jinki went to bring it down and hit the power button, but Taemin grabbed it from his hands with a mischievous smile on his face.

“Don’t do that hyung! I’ll film what I see for the day then.” When the doors opened, he walked out still carrying the camera and filming, leaving the other four wondering just how his moods switched so quickly.

By the time they got to the room, he was already inside with the nurse getting the catheter cleaned and connected to the first medicine. “I’m sorry for snapping at you hyung. I really didn’t mean it.”

“Not a problem Taemin-ah.” He rubbed the top of the younger’s head, still not over the habit of ruffling his hair. The nurse only gave them all a smile and left, used to the routine by then.

And so began just another boring day in the hospital for them.