March 1, 2015

Jihoo stood transfixed at the medical tent door.  There, across a field from him, stood the one his heart had ached for all these weeks.  HyunSu and the students filed past him but Harabeoji just stood by his side, quietly.

Ilana opened the gathering in prayer and then the band had begun to play.  "Before we begin this first song, Victor Moksa & JaeRim Moksa (Pastor) have asked me to share with all of you a little about myself."  Suzy translated for her.  The two Pastors’ had come up to her just before the service.  "The teens and young adults have all heard my testimony but the Pastor's wanted the rest of the camp to hear.  The Lord speaks to me with music and as we sing, I'll tell you little bits about myself.  I wanted to come to Seoul because there was someone I needed to see.  SoEun-ssi told me the Lord would tell me when to go but when I heard about this visit, I still didn't think He was talking to me.  What did I have to offer all of you?"  The teens and Young adults all began to cheer, making Ilana smile.  "And the Lord called me upon the waters, the great unknown, where my feet may fail as this song says.  He told me to seek his kingdom first and the rest would come after."  She began to sing.   (Music)(Lyrics)

Jihoo listened and watched with tears in his eyes.  There were so many emotions running through him.  First, he wanted to be angry at her.  She looked more beautiful than ever, her smile radiant.  Just like the first time he saw her on the rooftop of NYP.  Her face was transformed with that smile; he also saw a peace on her countenance that wasn't there before.

My soul will rest in your embrace

For I am yours and you are mine

 - "Sarang, wae?  Na wanted to embrace you so you could rest.  We belonged to each other," he cried.

 - "She needed to belong to me; she needed to love me first.  Only then would she know how much you love her and how to answer your love."

Your sovereign hand

Will be my guide

 - "I've had you both in the palm of my hand and have brought you here today."

Jihoo heard the voice that had been guiding him all these weeks.  "Ara Yesu, ara."

Ilana had paused but the music continued.  "The next portion says Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders, let me walk upon the waters wherever you would call me.  When I was seventeen I put my trust in someone I shouldn't have and based all humanity on that experience.  The Lord brought me people that I could trust just over two years ago and then he brought me, someone, to love.  A guardian angel, but I couldn't trust my heart.  I couldn't see past my hurt and was too afraid to break the chains of shame and despair and unworthiness.  I didn't know Yesu's grace and mercy and most definitely not his love.  But I can claim today that I am a new creation in Christ and he has broken all the chains around my heart.  I've let him lead me to this land across the water, deeper than my feet could ever wander.  I don't know what I'll find but I know if I call his name he will keep my eyes above the waves."

Every word Ilana spoke pierced Jihoo's heart.  Her sweet smile was all he could see.  Tears escaped her closed eyes as she sang.  Every word conveyed through the emotion on her face.

 - "She sings lovely, did you know?"  Harabeoji, while listening intently to his Granddaughter-In-law, he occasionally glanced at his Grandson.

 - "She sang as a child, she never sang again after her parent’s accident."  Jihoo was so proud of her, his burgundy rose.  He was sure her voice wasn't at its potential but it didn't matter as long as she was singing, that was what mattered.

 - "Aigoo," even Harabeoji was moved to tears.

Ilana began to introduce the next song, which included more of her testimony.  "This next song, I heard in a vision.  The Bible says we'll be singing new songs in heaven.  I was very ill just a month ago..."

 - "Mwo?"  Jihoo gasped.

 - "Gwenchana," Harabeoji placed a supportive hand on his shoulder.  "Whatever it was, she's here today."

 - "...I saw Umma and the angel I told you about...his Umma too.  We both lost our parents at a very young age.  He survived, where I failed but the Lord picked me up off the ground.  The three of us sang this song.  Nae chingu, Park JungMin...," Ilana gestured to the flutist.  JungMin did a cute wave and bowed dramatically.  His wife rolled her eyes at him.  "...helped take the vision out of my head and put it to music and lyrics.  I was already broken when my parents passed away.  After a year of begging the Lord to take me too, I tried to take my life.  Needless to say, it didn't work.  I isolated myself and although I was blessed with fortune and a caretaker that was like nae Halmoni, I didn't have my parents.  At sixteen I tried to become someone else and through a lie took on a different identity.  Because of that initial sin I was abducted and used..."

 - "Gwenchana Ilana-ssi!"

 - "Ilana-ssi saranghae!"  The teenage and young adult crowd that had already heard her story cheered her on.

Ilana smiled at them, "...I was used for ual slavery.  Praise God, I was fortunate to be saved but I didn't see it that way at the time.  I sunk deeper into depression and knew for certain I could never be loved by anyone or give my heart to anyone.  The Lord proved me wrong; unfortunately, I didn't know how to respond to the gift that the Lord was generously giving me."  She began to sing:   

(lyrics) Completely broken

Nowhere I could run

Ashamed of what was done

Hope was fading

Waiting for an answer to my disaster

I was barely hanging on

But love came to rescue me

And now love is sending me.

To every scared and broken heart

You’re not alone where you are

Remember me.

Ilana opened her eyes to pause the band.  "Yesu told me I wasn't alone.  I was scared and broken after I renounced my angel; my gift.  I know some of you have been in my place or are there now.  You're exiles from your home, but Yesu said 'There is more than enough room in my Father's home. If this were not so, would I have told you that I am going to prepare a place for you?'  Some have faced my same situation, you've been abused, you're scared, and you feel alone.  You have scars.  Listen...:”

I found beauty in these scars

proving love is never far

Remember Me.

Again, she paused.  "I have a scar that I will always remember Him by."  Ilana pulled off her left glove and lifted her sleeve to show others a faint scar on her wrist.  "The day I met JaeRim Moksa and SoEun-ssi, I was on the ground.  Eight weeks ago I received this scar.  The enemy was whispering loudly in my ear and convinced me in my weakened state that I wasn't wanted on this earth.  The Lord used my angel's voice stop me and a few hours later JaeRim Moksa and SoEun-ssi found me."

This was too much for Jihoo, he turned back into the tent and climbed into the trailer.  Harabeoji followed him.  Jihoo sat on a chair, hands on his thighs sobbing.  "Gwenchana," Harabeoji comforted his Grandson, even though he had tears in his own eyes, having had had no idea what the child had been through.  "Yesu has brought you both here.  Did you not say, He would tell you when she was well again?  Na think He's telling you loud and clear, adeul."

 - "Harabeoji, wae?  She tried to hurt herself.  I felt her pain but couldn't do anything.  I should have gone to her," Jihoo sobbed.

 - "Yah!  As a child, your fingertips were sore and bleeding from practicing your violin.  Had you not gone through the pain, you never would have learned how to play.  Yesu had to let her bleed in order for her to be able to sing."

Harabeoji didn't know where those words came from but he believed every word.  They remained quiet as they listened to her sing.

Hope is rising

From this fallow ground

The lost are being found

I remember how it felt to finally be free

I was barely hanging on

Then love came to rescue me

And now this love is sending me

To every scared and broken heart.

 You're not alone where you are.

Ilana sang, worshiping God with all her heart and thanking him for his love and mercy and also for the guardian angel he had sent her.

 - "You see?  She's finally free," Harabeoji told his Grandson.  "She's free to love, the pain is gone."

After the service was over, many people came to Ilana to thank her for sharing her story and wanting to have hope as well.   "See, there was a reason Jesus wanted you to come."  SoEun hugged Ilana, who had been talking with many people and SoEun or Suzy translated for her when she didn’t understand.  "Let's go eat."  A feast had been prepared by the mission team, Pastor Victor, and the refugees.

 - "Arraso!  Begopayo, I was too nervous to eat this morning.  Save me a seat and Suzy and JungMin too."

 - "I will!"

Ilana went to look for Suzy and JungMin who were busy chatting with some elders who thought JungMin to precious not to tease.  The Ajumma's were scolding Suzy for not being pregnant yet after being married for a year.  Ilana realized she had better save them.  "Jeogiyo Ajumma,” Ilana excused herself.  "Can I borrow nae chingu?"  With hand gestures and her imperfect Korean, she managed to extract her friends.

 - "I thought they were never going to let us go," JungMin laughed.

 - "Kansamnida, JungMin for helping me; the song, I think, reached a lot of people today."

 - "Anieyo, it was your story," Suzy said.

 - "Ani, not my story, it was Yesu's story through me."

 - "Just don't get too comfortable," JungMin decided to keep Ilana humble.  "Your voice isn't that close to where it should be."

 - "Deh sonsaengnim," Ilana played along.

 - "Park JungMin, be nice to Unnie!"  Suzy punched him in the arm.  The three arrived, laughing, at the tables where the young adults and teens sat, as well as SoEun.

 - "Ilana-ssi," one of the children tapped on her back.

 - "Deh Jagi, what can I do for you?"

 - "Can we play?"

 - "Guerae!  Mokega first, deh?"  Ilana made room between her and SoEun so the little girl could sit with them.

Jihoo and Harabeoji stayed in the trailer.  The moment he'd been waiting for was here and he remained unable to move forward.  His emotions were getting the best of him.  Either he'd scold and shake her for running off or he'd hold her and cry.  Having had time to overthink how he'd approach her, she was in a better position than him.  He would be a complete surprise, what will he say to her?

 - "I came to Seoul because there was someone I needed to see."

 - "What if that person isn't me?  How did she know I didn't stay in New York?"  He was thinking out loud.

 - "Jihoo-yah, what are you waiting for?  Where is that quiet strength of yours?"

 - "Deh Harabeoji, let me be for a little and I'll find it again."

 - "The child came all the way here to find you, don't keep her waiting."

 - "Deh Harabeoji."

Ilana, Suzy, and JungMin gathered all the kids and began playing games.  Harabeoji had left Jihoo to his thoughts and went off to have a conversation with Pastor JaeRim.  Jihoo let the students handle the few patients that were now trickling in and Jihoo too left the safety of the trailer.  He had watched his wife as she conversed easily with those at her table.  There was no shyness about her as she laughed at someone's joking.  He reminded himself she had been here for a week already.  She'd had time to acclimate herself.  When she had gathered the kids, he remained at a safe distance observing her.  It was evident she loved kids; he found himself smiling as he watched them race through the obstacle course.  At one point she tripped and he almost came out of his hiding spot but she jumped right up, laughing, with the help of a little boy.

An hour or more Jihoo watched and didn't come out of his hiding.  He laughed and sometimes wept.  She was so beautiful to him and she had no idea.  She had been hit by a ball and he cringed thinking of the bruise she would get.  Amazed she hadn't tired yet, he thought she must have been exercising lately.  It didn't take long for the body to adapt to a routine and she really didn't show signs of tiring.

After Jihoo had been watching them play for a long time, he saw Ilana call a timeout and all of a sudden she and her friends were playing rock-paper-scissors.  Whatever they were competing for, Ilana lost.  Pouting exaggeratingly, she stood still and let herself be blindfolded.  Jihoo recognized the game as ka mek tjap ki (blind man's bluff).  He watched amused and also worried she would fall and hurt herself, as the kids and her friends teased and danced around her.  It seemed she was deliberately not catching anyone or just narrowly missing them.  Not realizing what he was doing, he’d already walked halfway to the field where they were playing.

Ilana was laughing so hard she was having a hard time breathing.  They had deliberately picked her because she was terrible at the game or the kids were very smart and didn't let her catch them.  "Pigonhaeyo (I'm tired)!  Bae ahpayo (My stomach hurts) from laughing!"  The kids all laughed, as a few went right up to her.  JungMin had found the darkest possible cloth from who knows where.  "Arraso, I'm just going to run until I catch someone!"  For the most part, the kids spoke only a little English but enough to understand her mixed vocabulary.  Ilana began to walk quickly with arms outstretched.

Jihoo was already walking into the circle toward Ilana.  She didn't notice the nervous laughter and Jihoo didn't see Suzy and JungMin's surprised faces as they brought their index finger to their lips silencing the kids.  All this happened within a minute or two and Ilana walked right into Jihoo without having a clue.

 - "Caught you!"  She said excitedly, thinking it was a teenager.  Keeping one hand tightly gripped on the arm and with the other, she removed the blindfold.  Her eyes widened slightly; perhaps she'd been running around too long and was seeing things.  There before her, standing perfectly still was Jihoo.  She swore he wasn't even blinking; therefore, it had to be a dream.  It was a beautiful dream and she really didn’t mind it at all.  Like in some slow-motion movie scene, she dropped the blindfold and everything and everyone around her was forgotten.  "Sarang, mianhae," she said, touching the creamy smoothness of his face.  He had that mischievous glint in his eyes that only she could see.  Feeling a tear roll down her cheek, she didn't care.  She wanted to feel his lips before the vision went away and rising on her toes, she touched her lips to his softly.

Jihoo stood like a statue, unable to move as she looked at him with such longing and sorrow.  Once her lips touched his, he could no longer hold back.  He pulled her into his arms and took her lips in his with all the longing of the last nine weeks.

Ilana didn't know when her eyes had closed but all of a sudden she was being crushed against something or someone.  Her auditory senses began to awaken again and she heard the kids chanting, "bpo bpo!  Bpo bpo!"  Her olfactory nerve was next to wake up and realize the scent in front of her was his.  This wasn't a vision; it was real.  Ilana pulled back, startled, hand over in shock.  "It-It-it's you!  It's re-really you!"

 - "Who else, Sarang?"

Ilana's emotions went into overdrive, trembling with shock and longing, she was ecstatic and at the same time frightened.  Not able to choose how she felt, her brain decided just to shut down momentarily.  The familiar black dots began to pull her down and she vaguely heard the others shouting her name before being carried by a familiar pair of arms.

Jihoo saw all the color drain from her face.  Knowing she was going to faint, he scooped her into his arms.  "I'll take her to the medical tent."  He told Suzy, who had come running.

 - "Sonsaengnim!"  One of the students, said as he came into the tent with Ilana.

 - "Get me oxygen, just in case," Jihoo was ing her coat to remove her scarf.  He felt her pulse along her neck and although it was elevated due to the shock, it wasn't dangerous.  Relieved, he turned to Suzy, "Suzy-ssi, help me remove her coat."

 - "Deh, Uissanim."  Suzy spotted Ilana's eyes fluttering.  "Oh, she's waking up!"

Coat removed, Jihoo laid her back down.  "Ilana-yah?"  He caressed her cheek.  "Gwenchana?"

 - "Gwenchanayo," she said awkwardly, not knowing where to rest her gaze.

He didn't notice.  "Chincha?"

 - "Deh," she sat up and he helped her.  Suzy had just decided to make herself scarce and hinted to the students that they should as well.  "Mianhamnida," tears began to fall.  "Nomu mianhamnida, chinchayo!"

 - "Anieyo," he crushed her to him.  He rubbed her back, trying to still her breathy cries.

 - "Kajima ever again!  Na won't let you go, ever!"

Ilana didn't know how to react; she felt her heart beating quickly, this wasn't a dream.  He really did still want her?

News of Ilana's fainting had already reached the ears of the Pastor's and SoEun.  They had come running to the medical tent, Harabeoji was with them.  JungMin and Suzy met them at the tent opening.  "Gwenchanayo, she's with her Angel," she giggled.

Harabeoji smiled but the other three looked at each other in confusion.  "Jamkkanmanyo," Harabeoji said.  "That's my Granddaughter-in-law," he stepped into the tent with the other three behind him.  "Ilana-yah child!"  He beamed at her.

Ilana shot out of Jihoo’s embrace and quickly fell to her knees before Harabeoji.  "Jwosongmnida, Harabeoji!  Jwosongmnida!  Please believe me; I never wanted to hurt Jihoo.  Mianhamnida, I let my fear control me even if Harabeoji told me not too."

 - "Stand up, child."  Ilana was not only on her knees but in a formal bow position, with her palms and forehead on the ground.  "You've arrived, that's all that matters."

Jihoo was trying to pull her up, even if she resisted.  Ilana shook her head.  "Anieyo, it's not enough.  Mianhaeyo, chinchayo, mianhaeyo.  I failed you guys."  Harabeoji gave an imploring look to Jihoo and Jihoo physically forced Ilana up from the ground.  He held her tightly as her sobbing continued.  "M-m-mian-hae.  M-m-mianhae."

 - "Anieyo, Sarang, anieyo.  We're together now, that's what matters."  He rubbed her back and continued to hold her firmly, lest she tried to throw herself to the ground again.

Harabeoji placed a hand on her quivering shoulder.  Her sobs had been reduced to staggering breaths.  "Gwenchana, child, no one knew what you were going through.  Yesu has returned you to us, a few scars more but healed."

Ilana turned to face the man she'd grown to love as much as Nana.  "Chinchayo Harabeoji?"

 - "Greomyo!  Yah!  Don't ever frighten this old man like that again.  Does Ilana know I almost had a heart attack when I received your letter telling me you were ill?"

 - "Letter?"  Both Jihoo and Ilana repeated.

 - "Majayo, I think I began a letter that night,"  Ilana remembered.  “Did I finish it?  Harabeoji received it?”

 - "Deh, na thought we had lost you for good.  Suzy-ah mailed it letting us know they were rushing you to the hospital."

 - "Harabeoji?"  Jihoo finally asked, not understanding and not liking his statement about losing her forever.  "What letter?"

 - "Harabeoji read it?"  Ilana began to weep again.

 - "All the letters, child.  Jihoo-yah, Mianhae I kept them from you.  Ilana never thought they'd be read and was just penning her thoughts."

This time, Jihoo began to weep as well.  He understood; although, he never mailed his letters.  "Sarang, will you allow me to read the letters?"

 - "Mollahyo, some of them were in my darkest moments."

 - "Gwenchana, na want to know how your journey was and Na will tell you mine."

 - "Ilana, do you mind telling us what's going on?  You're married to this Doctor?"  JaeRim asked. 

 - "Dr. Jihoo, if you wouldn't mind sharing as well?"

 - "Pastor Victor, Ilana, my wife."

 - "Jihoo-yah, you don't have to say that," Ilana looked to the ground.  "I know we aren't m-married anymore."

 - "Child, wae would you think that?"  Harabeoji jumped in.

 - "Ilana dear, either you are or you're not," SoEun also tried to get an answer.

 - "She is..."

 - "Anieyo..."

 - "Na brought a copy of the registration in case of a problem.  She was added to the Yoon family registry on December 24, 2014."  Harabeoji came prepared, having a feeling she wouldn't believe.

 - "Wae does Sarang think we are no longer married?"

Ilana was shocked; she had believed the marriage would be void.  "Be-because," she looked away from Jihoo and to the ground again.

 - "Ani, Na just got you back, don't pull away from me."  Jihoo lifted her face, so he could see her.  "Wae?"

 - "Be-because I-I couldn't...we n-never...the marriage was never...,"

Jihoo saw her struggling and her face turning bright pink.  He finally understood and buried her face in his chest.  "Sarang, we don't have non-consummation laws, here.  Mianhae, you're stuck with me."  He pulled her away long enough to kiss her cheek.

 - "This is just wonderful.  The Lord is so faithful, he never forgets a promise," SoEun gushed.  "The Lord gave you two your heart’s desire, as he promised you, Ilana."

 - "I too held on to his promise that she would come back.  It wasn't easy..."  He looked down at Ilana who was on the verge of tears again.

 - "She was the one you were sent here to wait for," Pastor Victor said smiling.

The rest of the afternoon passed with fewer tears and a lot more smiles.  Ilana said goodbye to all the young people with a promise to write.  She had only sent one letter to the hospital kids, but she promised herself to be more consistent.

 - "We'll see you when you get back, Ilana," JaeRim said.

 - "Deh, we'll be praying for your success," SoEun said.

 - "Kansamnida, for being there for her," Jihoo said.

 - "Anieyo, all I did was hurry when the Lord told me too," JaeRim said.  "Take care of our miracle girl while she's here.  I expect we'll meet again soon, Dr. Jihoo."

 - "Deh," the two shook hands.

More hugs from the team that had arrived with Ilana followed as well as praises for a successful trip and prayers for the safety of all the travelers.  Ilana also parted ways from JungMin and Suzy who had come up two days early to spend the weekend at the refugee camp.  They were headed to the airport to pick up Antonio and Jihoo insisted on Ilana coming home with them.  She felt a little uneasy as they hadn't had a chance to discuss anything about the future.  For the time being, Ilana would not be able to stay in Seoul because of her work.

Dropping the mobile clinic off at one of the Shinwha parking lots, the students, HyunSu and Jihoo all picked up their own cars.  Jihoo had called his driver to pick them up in the SUV.  He didn't know he'd be bringing his wife and all her luggage.  Suzy had brought her a second suitcase with her office clothes.  Arriving at home, Harabeoji walked in first, leaving Jihoo and Ilana to take their time.  They passed through the garden and Jihoo stopped in his favorite spot by the Koi pond.  "I'll put our things away, wait for me here.  Ara it's cold, na won't be long, deh?"

She smiled at him; it was all she could do.  This was all still so dream-like.  She was here in his home, her Sarang.

Jihoo quickly deposited their things into his room and retrieved what he came in to get.  He was on his way back to Ilana when Harabeoji stopped him.  "Take this but as she said, they tell of her darkest moments.  It's up to you if you want to read them."

 - "Deh Harabeoji, kansamnida."  Jihoo took the small stack of envelopes from his hand and slipped them into his coat pocket.  He anxiously walked out to find his wife.

Ilana sat on the deck that really wasn't too cold.  It was as if something kept this spot warm.  "Eommoni," she whispered to herself.

Jihoo saw her lips move as she sat with an unconscious smile on her face.  "Sarang has picked up the habit of talking to herself?"

 - "Deh, amongst other things, gwenchana?"  She turned her full smile on for him.

 - "Gwenchana, Sarang doesn't know how many times I talked to myself, to you, to Yesu."  He caressed her face and kissed her tenderly.  "Bogoshipatso, your smile, your sweet lips, the feel of your hand in mine," he took her gloved hands.

 - "Nado, although Na tried to not give myself that luxury.  It was my fault, so I didn't have the right to miss you."

 - "That's all done, from now on, nothing can separate us."

Ilana panicked momentarily, she couldn't stay here.  At least, not yet, she couldn't neglect the work she had begun.  "J-Jihoo-yah, I-I can't stay!  Not right now."  Tears had begun again.

Jihoo caressed her worried face and wiped her tears.  "Gwenchana," he smiled.  "Yesu has already thought of that."  He laughed at her puzzled face.  "Na was supposed to keep busy while I waited for you, get things started, but not tie myself to them.  This way I would be free for when sarang needed me. The mobile clinic just fell into place this week.  It was the only thing I was still directly involved in, not just overseeing.  I knew that I would get to see you soon hajiman never expected to meet you at the camp.  Na just need a little time to prepare my people for my absence again.  Sarang, give me the week and we can leave together.  Can your VP return without you?"

Ilana's head was spinning; as usual, he'd thought of everything.  JungMin and Antonio were the ones directly involved in this campaign.  She was only a figurehead.  They hadn't set a date for the follow-up meeting with her board.  It would take at least a week to get the presentation ready.  The three of them would be working together on that.

She had stayed quiet for a few minutes processing everything and he could see it all in her eyes.  He couldn't resist stealing a kiss, she was just too beautiful and his heart couldn’t contain its joy.

 - "Mmmm!  Yah!"  She scolded, blushing when he released her.  "Sarang is trying to get a favorable answer from me?"

 - "Mmm, did it work?"

 - "Hokshina..."  Jihoo leaned in for another attack and she dodged him laughing.  "Deh, deh!  I'll wait for you!"

Too fast for her, he grabbed her face for a quick kiss.  Laughing, he put his arm around her and leaned her against him.  That was where she belonged, next to him.  They sat in silence again.  Just like before, they had no problem just sitting in each other’s company.  Jihoo turned to Ilana and removed her gloves.

 - "Jihoo-yah, wae?"

He took her right hand and kissed the finger wearing his Mother's ring.  "Sarang never took it off."

 - "I-I couldn't at first and then Na think I became so accustomed to it, I never tried.  It...was also a comfort when I did notice it on my finger.  Jeongmal, na think I felt like Jihoo Umma was with me too."

 - "I'm glad, Sarang needed her more than I did.  She would have liked you very much."

 - "Chincha?"

 - "Deh, just like her adeul."  He still held her hands and she managed to withdraw one to playfully swat at him.  He didn't let go of her left hand and brought out a small box.  "Sarang, na want my anae by my side.  Will you do that for me?  For us?"  He let go of her hand only to open the box and bring out her engagement ring.  He slipped it on her finger before she had a chance to say anything.

 - "Sarang!"  Tears of joy and even slightly of regret slid down her face.  "Mianhae, Na promised you yongwhanee and it was my fault we were separated.  It won't happen again!  I promise, Sarang; my gift; my angel."

Jihoo kissed her to silence her regrets.  "Who said we were separated, anae was unwell and needed to heal for a time.  We were physically apart but our hearts were always together, maja?"

Ilana nodded.  She sniffled as she looked at the ring on her finger.  Then she realized it was only the engagement ring.  Jihoo had not lost his ability to read her face, not when she looked from her finger to the box expectantly.

 - "Sarang wants her wedding ring?"

Ilana nodded shyly.

 - "Anieyo," he laughed as she looked up at him with a worried face.  "Na promised you a wedding in a church with all our friends.  You can have it then."  He kissed her again, before pulling her to standing.  "Kaja, it's getting cold and late.  You will want to get ready for your meeting tomorrow."  Unknown to her, Jihoo had already sent a text to WooBin and had him make sure the contacts her company would be dealing with were of good repute.  He was proud of her, they had all checked out.

Ilana walked happily with Jihoo's hand in hers but something worried her.  An idea popped into her head and she wondered if she should ask but decided to put it off until later.

 - "Go ahead and use the shower in nae room.  I'll use the guest shower.  All your toiletries are still in the bathroom, you don't have to bring out your travel products."

 - "Gomawo, Sarang."  Ilana bent to get the pajamas from the garment bag and paused in thought.  "Jihoo-yah," he was still standing next to her.  "Can I...," she couldn't get over the occasional awkwardness.

Wrapping her in his arms again, he kissed her forehead.  "Mwo?  Wae is Sarang hesitating?"

 - "Anieyo," she waved him off.  "I was wondering if I could hang up my clothes for the meetings."

 - "Na will hang them in the guest room with all your gowns."

 - "Mwo?"

 - "Deh Sarang, nah also have all your valuables and your most cherished items."  He saw her eyes getting moist again and he brought her head to his chest.  "I never doubted you would come when you were well again.  Yesu promised me he was taking care of you and would bring you back to me."

Losing the battle with her tears, they flowed unhindered once again.  "Kansamnida, kansamnida."

 - "Yah," Jihoo took a handkerchief from his pocket and dabbed at her face.  "Na have one request."

 - "Anything, name your price and Na will give it."

 - "Nothing that extravagant, a favor only.  Sarang, sleep with me."

Ilana was a little surprised but nodded her head.  She wanted to be his wife both in word and deed, she wasn't afraid anymore.  Well, just a little nervous.  "Arraso," she looked up showing him her sincerity.

He saw the slightly nervous, yet determined look on her face.  "Anieyo, not like you're thinking."  Her eyebrows rose in surprise and he couldn't help leaning in for a kiss.  "Na want our first time to be after our wedding that is witnessed by all our chingu and blessed by Yesu.  It was nae fault for pushing you too fast, Na didn't wait for His timing. "

 - 'Andwaeyo!  I should...mph!"

Jihoo covered with his hand.  "No more regrets.  Yesu took us both on a separate journey to know him better.  Although nae clumsy anae fell a few times, he picked you back up."  He took her wrist and kissed the scar.  "Na want to hold you in my arms and feel your warmth next to me while Na sleep.  In the morning, na want to wake by your side."

Ilana looked at him with a watery smile.  "Saranghae."  She stood on her toes to kiss him and he pulled her into him, not wanting to let go or end the kiss.  "Sarang," Ilana said coming up for air.  "It's getting late."  He placed little kisses all over face and groaned.  "Give me twenty minutes, deh?"

Jihoo took her lips slowly again, before letting her go again.  "Twenty minutes, that's it!  Na will hang up your things."

 - "Gomawo," she smiled.  He couldn't resist giving her a quick peck.  "Ka!"  Jihoo walked out wearing a smile on his face and she couldn't stop grinning through her entire shower.

By the time they both showered, ate a snack with Harabeoji and blow-dried their hair, it was two hours later.  They lay in his bed, he with his arm around her, caressing her back, she with her head on his chest and an overwhelming feeling in her chest, threatening to burst.  "Sarang," Jihoo spoke after they had settled in.  "Wae did you write to Harabeoji and not me?"

Ilana sighed, thinking.  "Mollahyo, Na didn't think he'd read them, but the first one was just to tell him how sorry I was and to find you someone better."  She felt him tighten his hold on her and she snuggled closer.  Letting him know, she wasn't going anywhere ever again.  "The second, Na just began to write my thoughts neither without considering I was writing a letter nor to whom until halfway through.  It just became habit, anytime I was so confused or just needed an outlet, I would write.   Na found a journal with scribblings from Umma, she did the same."

 - "Na prayed for you every day, that you would be well and come back soon.  Na also had conversations with you.  They began as letters, but I never had the nerve to send them.  They became a conversation log in which I detailed many things Na wanted you to know.  How did you know I had left New York?"

 - "Na felt it when I met Pastor JaeRim and SoEun, Na told them if I could I'd want to be here, in Seoul.  I didn't know why I said it.  Then nae attorney told me you had stored all my things and SungRyung Unnie told me you sent my resignation letter and I guess I thought you had returned to Seoul and probably never wanted to see me again."

 - "Anieyo!  That was the complete opposite!"  Jihoo dislodged her from his chest so he could turn to his side and face her.  "Na prayed for you daily and I felt something was very wrong and I worried.  I prayed that you would be safe at home where Nana and Brendon could take care of you.  I was so relieved when Yesu confirmed that you were there."

 - "Chincha?"  Both their eyes glistened with unshed tears.  "My...only desire was that you would be happy.  I thought if...you thought of me with indifference, I could live with that.  Just not hate, I couldn't bear it.  Even if I didn't blame you if you hated me."

 - "Andwae!"  Jihoo cupped her cheek and then kissed her deeply, intensely, wanting to erase all the despairing memories.

Ilana let herself get caught up in his kisses.  She too wanted to erase the heaviness but it was hard not to think of the time wasted.  The Lord used it for his glory and for that they had to be thankful.  Jihoo's kisses had gone from demanding to slow and teasing.  He was now tickling her neck with his lips.  Ilana stopped him with her hand on his face and brought it back to her lips.  She kissed him with the same intensity as before, letting him know she was his completely.  "Jihoo-yah," he held her by the waist, firmly against him.  His leg had become entwined with hers.  She could feel his need.  "Gwenchana..."

 - "Mwo?"  He mumbled and went back to her neck.

 - "If you want...it's okay.  We...don't have to wait," she swallowed nervously.

It took Jihoo a few seconds to grasp what she was saying.  "Deh...nan sip-eo-yo (I want to), hajiman...can wait.  For now, na want a little more of this...," he with slow and scarcely touching her lips, kisses.  If she tried to deepen the kiss, he would pull away.  He was grinning at her as she pouted.  "Jaljae anae," he turned her around and spooned her against him. "Sleep, you have a busy day tomorrow."

Ilana didn't know how she was supposed to sleep with her mind still whirling from the day's happenings.  It was about fifteen minutes later; her mind had fixated itself on one theme and wouldn't let her sleep.  She must have sighed unknowingly and Jihoo heard her.

 - "Sarang, gwenchana?"  Jihoo said a little sleepily; though he was awake enough to snuggle closer to her and kiss her behind her ear.

His tickling made her give a silent giggle.  "Dehhh.”  Jihoo sighed, moved back and made Ilana lay on her back with him looming over her, his face serious.  "Amogotdyooo, it's nothing!  Chincha, go to sleep."

 - "Deh, wae is your face all red?"  Jihoo lay back down but pulled her toward him.  He tucked her against his chest.  "Wae?"

Ilana got comfortable again.  "Gwenchana..."

 - "Anngwenchana, na won't let you sleep until you tell me."

After letting out a sigh, she knew arguing was hopeless.  "I...was just...wondering something..."

 - "Wae?"

The urge to reply 'something' was very strong but the worst he could say was 'no.'  "Well, I was wondering if..."

 - "Deh?"  He prodded.

She sighed again as she traced his long fingers with her index finger.  "I'd like very much to have our ceremony back home, either at the Church or at the estate.  We can let Pastor Victor officiate if you prefer.  I don't think Pastor JaeRim would mind."  They were both quiet.  She couldn't see he was smiling.  "Gwenchana if you want to have the wedding here, again, it-it was just a suggestion.  Wherever is fine with me," she let out her breath hoping she hadn't offended him in any way.

 - "Sarang," he lifted her chin to face him.  "Na didn't give Sarang a choice last time, if that's what you want, plan for it."

 - "Chincha?"

 - "Deh," he positioned her to where he could steal a kiss.  "Na told Sarang she could pay for this wedding and honeymoon."

 - "Did you?  I don't remember."

 - "Mmm, I thought we had a conversation about that?"

 - "Ani, but I will, I don't mind, chincha."

Jihoo laughed at her happy face, she'd been worried he'd say no.  "Na think I must have written it in the conversation log.  Na will let you pay within reason.  We'll plan our honeymoon when we get to Los Angeles."

 - "Chinchayo?  You don't mind?"

 - "Ja!  Go to sleep!  I'm having the maid come early and get your clothes ready."

 - "Jalja," Ilana smiled sleepily.

 - "Jalja, nae sarang."  Now Jihoo played with her fingers, as her hand was on his chest.  Within minutes, she was sound asleep.  He waited to make sure she wouldn't wake up and he adjusted them both to a more comfortable position but wither her still in his arms.

March 2, 2015

Jihoo woke suddenly an hour before the alarm was set to go off.  He felt his heart beating loudly.  "Was it all a dream?"  He reluctantly opened his eyes and there she was, sleeping on her side, right in front of him.  He lifted his head slightly to see her sleeping face.  He smiled, "kansamnida Yesu for taking such good care of her.  Kansamnida, for reaching her in your perfect timing.  Kansamnida, for bringing her back to me.  Na will guide her and love her the same way you do all of us.  She's a little stubborn at times and a little clumsy but she's the most precious gift to me, kansamnida."

After Jihoo spent some quiet time with the Lord, it was still early.  He didn't want to wake his wife with his movement.  He carefully rose from the bed and saw the package of letters Harabeoji had handed him the night before.  He looked back at the bed and wondered if he should read a few.

 - "Some of them were in my darkest moments."

 - "I need to know...I want to know what the Lord delivered you from."  Although he'd heard her testimony the day before, he wanted a more detailed account of what she went through when she ran away that night.

"Don't they say darkness and light don't mix?"

He read the first letter from the day she left him.  His heart was already aching.  "Jeongmal, don't you know all you have to do is smile for your face to light up?  There is no darkness in you?"

"Despite my unwillingness to live, God won't let me die."

 - "Sarang..." He felt the heaviness of her heart in this second letter.  It hurt him and tears began to escape.

The third letter had him smiling and crying in relief at the same time.  " Yesu kansamnida, for sending the Pastor and his wife to her.  They were just the people she needed to show her your way."

Jihoo's alarm went off, it was seven and Ilana's meeting was at nine.

Ilana stretched before opening her eyes.  The side next to her was cold and empty.  Abruptly sitting up in fear that she had been dreaming but there he was sitting on a chair at the foot of the bed.  He heard the gasp that came from the bed and immediately turned to see if she was well.  He had forgotten the tears that were still evident on his face.  "Sarang?"  Ilana untangled herself from the blankets and crawled over the bed to where he sat.  "Gwenchana?"  She cupped his still damp face with her hands.

 - "Ah, deh.  Annyeong hashimnikka," he bestowed upon her his best smile and kissed her.

 - "Hajiman your crying," then she noticed one of her letters on the floor.  "Sarang!  Why did you read them?!"  She groaned.

 - "Gwenchana, I need to know and I'm not done.  Na only read the first few."

 - "Only the worst ones!"

He smiled again at her in reassurance.  "When we're both done with work today, na will let you read some of the conversations I had with you.  Then we'll be even."  He kissed her forehead.  Overjoyed at having her back, Jihoo pulled her from her sitting position at the edge of the bed onto his lap.

 - "Jihoo!"

He gave her a quick squeeze and kissed the back of her ear.  "Ka, your suit should be pressed and ready to go.  She probably took your other clothes to launder and will bring them back later."

She shook her head at him.  "Don't read any more letters while I'm gone."

 - "Deh!"

Ilana emerged dressed, with hair in random curls and makeup done, about thirty minutes later.  The maid had begun breakfast before she left and Harabeoji finished it.  Kimchi, rice, soup, pickles, a steaming bowl of guksu noodles, bean sprout soup and pan-fried mackerel graced the table.  “Annyeong hashimnikka child, come mokega, Jihoo should be out any minute.’

The man in question appeared immediately after, dashing, in a grey suit.  It complemented Ilana's black slacks and gray with black-trimmed blazer nicely.  "Copycat," Ilana teased.

 - "Ilana-yah should know nampyon has a limited color selection in his wardrobe."

 - "Arrayo, Harabeoji."

Jihoo was looking at her intently and then ran back to his room.  Five minutes later Jihoo came out with a jewelry box.  Quietly he sat the box on the table and removed its contents.

 - "Umma's pearls!"  He was already placing the necklace around her neck.

 - "Na will leave the earrings for anae to do."  He saw her eyes glistening.  "Hajima, nae just kept them safe for you."

They all began to eat.

 -  "Ilana-yah, should you need any help at the district office, just tell them you are my Granddaughter."

 - "Deh Harabeoji, mollah if we will be buying anything yet this visit hajiman if we do and I must, Na will definitely keep that in mind."

 - "Anae is F4 and therefore entitled to its privileges."

Ilana narrowed her eyes at him.  "Jihoo anae is her Abeoji's daughter and that comes with its own privileges."  Harabeoji laughed.  "Besides, with the architect's help and JungMin being Korean and Antonio's and my own expertise.  Na think we have a good head start."

Jihoo smiled, he was very proud of her.  She would rather die than accept a handout.  She had shown him her business plan and it was well thought out.  Start as a real estate company, buying, restoring and reselling.  Subcontract any construction work for now and add marketing and design later.  She'd done a lot of research and he was sure it would pay off.

Harabeoji observed the two as they ate and couldn't keep their eyes off each other.  It was different this time and he knew it.  He didn't see the shadow of fear and pain hiding in her eyes.  Just as her song said she was finally free.  "Was that Yesunim's work?  Kansamnida," he said in his mind.  He had spoken to the Pastor's yesterday.  He knew he was a sinner.  He counted himself fortunate that the child had forgiven him, but it didn't erase what he did.  They told him Yesu will take all his sins and scatter them as if they never happened.  All he had to do was ask and accept the gift of his grace.  It seemed too good to be true, but the proof of His work was sitting before him.  The kids were getting ready to leave and a thought struck him.  They would not be staying long.  He'd known this all along.

Jihoo stood and took out Ilana's chair for her.  "Harabeoji, the driver will come and take you to the clinic.  I'm going to drop Ilana off at Lotte-Mapo for her meeting and head to the foundation."

 - "When will you two be leaving?"  Harabeoji asked.

 - "In a few minutes."

 - "Anieyo, when will you go to Los Angeles with anae?"

Jihoo sighed and Ilana looked worried.  Jihoo answered calmly.  "We haven't planned exactly hajiman anae has work to do.  Perhaps a week from today?  Then we'll plan to have our wedding ceremony there."

Harabeoji smiled at the two, "chuah.  Just hurry and give me a great-grandchild.  I never know when I will draw my last breath."

 - "Harabeoji!"  Ilana said horrified.

 - "Go on you two," Harabeoji laughed.  "Ilana will be late."

Jihoo dropped her off with a kiss goodbye and ten minutes to spare.  Ilana found a high strung JungMin.  "Yah!  Do you know what time it is?"

Antonio was shocked to hear his underling addressing Ilana in that fashion.  "JungMin-ah!  Chill, I've got everything on my laptop, it's charged and I double-checked this morning and prayed on the way over here.  We don't have to worry about using unfamiliar equipment.  We've been over this for weeks.  We'll do great.  You'll do great."

 - "Deh!  I'm nervous, excited..."

 - "...and hyper!  Did you drink your carrot juice this morning?"

 - "Deh."

 - "Well, go get another glass or you'll speed through the entire meeting."  Ilana knew she was just a figurehead on this trip.  Korean men didn't usually do business with a woman, much less a foreigner but it was her project and her company.  No one was going to stop her from representing it.

 - "Too late, here comes Chi Tae Young."

The architect had arrived with an attorney and a real estate agent.  Ilana bowed first as the owner of the company.  JungMin and Antonio followed her lead.  "Annyeong hasseyo Chi Tae Young-ssi, je ireum eun Contreras Ilana inmida, manasseh bangobsumnida.  Hernandez Antonio inmida, Vice President of Marketing and his assistant Park JungMin inmida.”

Chi Tae Young introduced himself and the other two.

"Let us make our way to the meeting room and we can tell you about ourselves."

Setting up the laptop, Ilana sat down and let Antonio and JungMin do their jobs.  JungMin delivered a faithful and enthusiastic business plan.  The group asked critical questions, which were anticipated and faithfully answered by Antonio and Ilana, while JungMin translated.  Everyone in the room spoke English but it was important to demonstrate a partnership with the country they were engaging with, not a type of arrogant superiority.

Three hours later, their meeting was winding down.  "Gentleman," JungMin said.  "ILC group would like to invite you to lunch as a celebration of our new friendship."

The meeting was a success.  Ilana took the walk over to the buffet restaurant within the hotel to thank the Lord for his provisioning.

When all was said and done, they all agreed to view properties together for the next two days.  Antonio was going to explore the city on his own that afternoon and JungMin would be dropping him off at the train station before picking up Suzy at her parents’ home.  Antonio didn't mind letting JungMin have the rental car to himself for a few hours.  If he got lost, at least he could call him.  "Ilana-yah, should I drop you off somewhere?"  He thought both his wife and her husband would kill him if he let her brave the public transportation on her own.

 - "Deh!  The Su-am Cultural Foundation, I'll let Jihoo know I'm on my way."

 - "Ilana knows every eye will be on you as soon as word gets out you're in Seoul.  You're marrying into one of the premier chaebol families."

 - "Mollahyo (whatever)," Ilana ignored his teasing."

 - "Maybe, I'll surprise him," Ilana canceled her text.

Harabeoji had been all smiles all day long.  JanDi continued to observe him with wonder.  She knew he'd been worried for Jihoo and Ilana these last few months.  It was evident on his face and his mood.  Not that his patients could tell, but JanDi could.  He was good at hiding his thoughts just like his Grandson.  Today though, he was all smiles.  He'd been excited about spending the weekend with the mobile clinic.  Things must have gone well.  JanDi decided to joke with him.  "Harabeoji, wae do I think you came back from the weekend with yeoja chingu."

He laughed at the suggestion.  "Atch, can one not smile without being married off?"

 - "Harabeoji...what are you hiding?"

 - "Anieyo!"

 - "Did Harabeoji enjoy the weekend that much?"

 - "Deh, especially Sunday.  It was...refreshing."

 - "Refreshing?"

 - "Deh, there was a group from the states.  One of the young ladies had a lovely voice."

 - "Harabeoji...what are you thinking?"  JanDi hoped he wasn't scheming to set up Jihoo with a new woman when he clearly expected Ilana to be back.

 - "Anieyo, na just thought she was a sweet girl.  She had business in the city and is staying the week.  Na would like to know her better."

 - "Harabeoji!  You can't be thinking what I think you are?"

 - "Wae anieyo?  The boy might finally decide to go after her or perhaps fall in love with another nice yeoja.  Only time can tell.  This way he can be sure of his feelings either way."

 - "Hajima Harabeoji!  Jihoo and Ilana love each other!  Na don't know why she had to go away but I'm sure she wouldn't have if she didn't have too!"

Harabeoji was having fun with JanDi.  "Anieyo, Na could see if she was gone a week, hajiman it's almost three months.  He can't wait forever; he needs to produce an heir."

 - "Harabeoji!"  JanDi couldn't believe she was hearing this out of him.

 - "Na believe my Grandson found the girl pleasant company.  They spent some time talking and they both have an interest in music.  Perhaps a friendship will arise."

JanDi was horrified to think her Sunbae would forget about his wife so soon but then again, perhaps he was lonely without her and another girl turned his head in a moment of weakness.  "Harabeoji!  Anieyo, that can't be true.  Jihoo wears his wedding ring."

 - "Ah deh, perhaps the girl didn't notice."  Harabeoji turned his head and smiled.  JanDi was going to kill him when she found out the truth.

Ilana arrived at the foundation within twenty minutes.  Last time she was here, Jihoo had brought, would the staff remember her?  She was suddenly nervous.

 - "Should I wait?"  JungMin asked.

 - "Anieyo, I'll be alright.  Tell Suzy, I'll talk to her later."

 - "Arraso!"

With a short prayer for courage, Ilana walked into the building.  She signed in as a visitor and went straight to the floor of Jihoo's office.  The secretary wasn't the same one as last time.  Actually, Jihoo had pulled her past everyone last time.  Would she even recognize any of the faces?

The secretary looked at her in question.   "Eottokhe dowa deurilkkayo (How can I help you)?

Ilana had no clue what was just said.  She'd have to fake it.  "Jeogiyo, na have an appointment with chairman Yoon"

The secretary frowned and looked in her computer.  "I don't have any appointments scheduled."

 - "It was a verbal agreement for 16:00, I'm early."

 - "Well, he's in a meeting and cannot be disturbed."  The secretary was just filling in; she had no idea what to do.  Torn between believing Ilana an unwanted solicitor and getting scolded for not sending through an appointment.

 - "Gwenchanayo, I can wait in his office."

 - "A-anieyo, wait here, juseyo.  Perhaps the meeting will be over soon."

 - "Araseo," Ilana smiled.  She felt bad for the secretary, perhaps she should let her in on the secret but that wouldn't be as much fun.  Ilana sat down in the very comfortable reception area.  At three PM, the secretary left a message for Jihoo to let him know that his appointment was waiting.  Ilana waited patiently, using her tablet to view pictures of the properties they'd be visiting.

It was almost four when the nervous and suspicious secretary received a call from Jihoo.

 - "Ajumma must be mistaken; the Chairman says he does not have any appointments.  If you are a solicitor, leave before I call security."

Ilana smiled, putting her tablet away.  "Anieyo, I insist on seeing the chairman.  I believe he's forgotten about this appointment, it was made almost three months back.  I made a special trip to Seoul just for this meeting."

The secretary was at a loss, it was no secret the chairman could be a little strange.  It was possible he forgot.  He was usually in New York.  "May I ask who you represent?"

 - "ILC group."

The secretary fearfully rang Jihoo's line once more.  When she let him know the company name she was shocked to hear him chuckle.  "I'll be right there," he said.

 - "Deh, the Chairman says he'll be right up."

 - "Kansamnida," Ilana inclined her head politely.

Jihoo appeared in the lobby with his usual straight face that did nothing to hide the twinkling in his eyes that Ilana knew so well.  "Ilana-ssi, mianhamnida for keeping you waiting.  I had a meeting that could not be avoided."  He bowed to her.

Ilana was having a hard time keeping her smile to a minimum.  "Anieyo gwenchanayo.  I know and appreciate how hard chairman works.  Kansamnida for greeting me despite your busy schedule."

 - "Anieyo, it's my pleasure.  I've been looking forward to our meeting."

 - "Deh.  I'm afraid I put your secretary in a difficult position, she handled the situation very well."  Ilana thought she'd better make sure Jihoo knows the secretary wasn't rude.

 - "Mianhamnida, Kan YoungMi-ssi, na did not place the appointment on the calendar."

President Ka needed to get some information from YoungMi and came into the reception area.  "Ilana-ssi Contreras!"  He was both shocked and surprised.  "You're back!  Your business in Los Angeles is concluded?"  Jihoo had told them she had to return on urgent business but would be back.

 - "Anieyo, President Ka," Ilana bowed.  "I'm here on business and can only stay the week."

 - "The truth is Ilana-ssi came back for her fiancé."

 - "Deh President Ka," she gave Jihoo a knowing smile.

The secretary was completely lost by now and grateful that the woman gave her a praise in front of the chairman.

 - "When is the big day?  Ex-president Yoon must be anticipating his first great-grandchild."

Ilana turned bright red and Jihoo couldn't help but smile.  "Soon President Ka, soon.  We'll be having it at my fiancé’s estate in Los Angeles.  We'll let you know the details as soon as we have them."

YoungMi felt her jaw drop.  Ilana caught her out of the corner of her eye and decided it was time to apologize.  She didn't want trouble with Jihoo's staff.  "Mianhaeyo Kan YoungMi-ssi, I'm afraid I put you in the middle of my surprise and my fiancé continued the joke."

 - "A-anieyo, Ilana-ssi Contreras."

 - "That's right," President Ka said.  "YoungMi-ssi wasn't the Chairman’s secretary on your her first visit."

 - "Kansamnida for not getting too angry at me for bothering you," Ilana told YoungMi-ssi.

 - "Anieyo gwenchanayo!"  YoungMi-ssi sighed in relief.  At least the chairman's future wife was gracious.

 - "Ilana-ssi, forgive me, I'll be leaving first."  President Ka bowed and walked out the door.

 - "Na still have things to do.  Help me?"

 - "Guerae," Ilana smiled.  Jihoo took her laptop bag from her and took her hand as they walked back to his office.

YoungMi was left smiling at the sweet couple.

Jihoo insisted on taking Ilana's group to dinner to celebrate the team's success.  When they arrived back home, Jihoo sent his conversation log to Ilana so that she may read a little before bedtime.  Jihoo also wanted to finish her letters.  He had read three and had four left to go.  One of which arrived earlier that day.  Ilana tried to get it back from him but he refused.  They lay in bed reading for almost thirty minutes.  Jihoo's heart was practically bleeding.  He realized every time he felt something was wrong, it's because it was.  Ilana was shaking with tears.  Jihoo removed the tablet from her hands and pulled her to his chest, her hair.  "Yah sarang, it's done.  Jeongmal, we're together now, no more tears.  I just praise God he reached you in time."

 - "Th-thank you f-for n-not le-tting g-go," she sobbed.  Jihoo held her, her hair and back soothingly.  "Mianhae," she said when the sobs stilled.

 - "Sh!"  He kissed her tenderly, just nipping at her lips.  As she responded he drew her in deeper, tasting with his tongue.  He wanted to remove their sorrow with his kiss.

Jihoo broke the kiss first and grinned to see his wife’s tear-stained face a pretty shade of pink.  He held her tightly by the waist; their legs were entwined and wiping her tears, moved his hand under her hair, gently relieving any tension from her neck.  Ilana’s tears had mostly subsided and her breathing relaxed, her arms hold on his waist was just as tight as his.  Lightly pressing his lips against hers, he wasn't done yet.  He could wait for their official wedding night as long as he could hold her all night and have her kisses.  He may still make her blush but she was completely open to his kisses and light caresses and didn't shy away from him anymore.  He moved her slightly under him and he began to with little kisses all over her face and his favorite spot on her neck.  He avoided her lips, making her want him to kiss her there all the more.  He purposely withdrew from her and ran a finger over her pouting face.  "Bpo bpo?"

 - "Anieyo," she tried sounding disinterested.  "I have another busy day tomorrow."  She pretended to stifle a yawn.

 - "Ah deh, jalja anae" but instead of letting her go, he pulled her on top of him.

 - "Jihoo!"  She squealed in surprise.  He was laughing and adjusted her so her head could rest on his chest.

 - "Anae has to sleep like this all night," she was bright red and he had her trapped in his arms and with one leg entwined with hers.

Ilana was very conscious of the position he had her in.  She could feel every muscle through her not so thick pajamas.  "Anieyo!"  Ilana spoke into his chest embarrassed.

 - "Bpo bpo."

 - "Anieeeeee!"  She pouted, feeling him shake with laughter under her.

 - "Ani?"  He began to caress the back of her neck with his thumb.  He felt her relaxing but trying hard not to.  He raked his fingers back and forth on her back, and then rib cage, occasionally grazing the side of her with a feather-light touch.  He heard her draw breath.  "Hajima?"

Ilana shook her head 'yes' shyly on his chest but he didn't stop.

 - "Bpo bpo.  And why can I feel every rib."  He began tickling her ribcage until she squealed.

 - "Yah!  Annchoach (don't like) nampyeon.  And what about you, I feel every rib and muscle under your shirt.”  She looked up and poked him in the ribs a few times, making him jump under her.  The movement brought her closer to his face.  She tried to escape but he was too fast for her.

 - "Yah!"  He brought her hands forward and placed them on his chest.  He traced the features of her face with a light touch.  Her eyebrows, eyes, cheeks, nose, and lips.  "Yippeun."

 - "Ani, Jihoo Yippeun."  Ilana began to trace his face like he had done to her but when she got to his lips she kissed her own finger and placed it on his lips.  Scooting herself up more, careful to avoid grazing a certain area, Ilana kissed the right side of his lips teasingly.  Her other hand traced the left jawbone with her index finger.  Continuing where her lips had stopped, she placed soft kisses along the jawbone until meeting his ear.  She kissed the tender spot behind it.  A little nervous, she wanted to do something for him.  Kissing him again, she left the area damp and began to blow on it.  She had no idea; she was driving him crazy, repeating the process all the way down his neck and traveling along his collarbone.  Concentrating on her playing, her hand had left his face and now wandered down to his waist.  In her nervousness to please him, she was unconsciously rubbing a circle over his shirt with her thumb.

The problem was the rubbing was sending a warm sensation to a completely different area.  Between her kisses and her caresses, Jihoo was in danger of losing control.  He let out a hiss through his teeth and stopped Ilana's hand abruptly.  "Sarang, yippeun sarang," slightly out of breath, he smiled at her.  "We need to stop or Na won't be able to stop."  He had to slide her off of him.

 - "M-mianhae," she was completely embarrassed.

 - "Anieyo, sarang.  Choah your kisses, your light touch.  Choah all of you," he took her hand and kissed it.  "Na want our first time to not be rushed.  Na want us to get to know each other.  Na want to know what makes you happy and commit it to memory.  Na want to know what doesn't and just explore new possibilities together.  These things take time to learn.  Na want to know that you're not just enduring it for my sake but that I am giving you something in return.  Arraso?"  Ilana nodded, trying not to cry.  "Jalja sarang," he kissed her lips briefly before turning her away from him so he could spoon her against him.

March 5, 2015

Although he had WooBin check into the people Ilana would be working with, Jihoo did not mention it was for Ilana.  He had not informed the F4 of her return.  He wanted it to be a surprise as well as letting them know he'd be leaving for California.  It was short notice but he knew that they would be back again for an extended stay soon.  Ilana needed to take care of her responsibilities within the company and he was completely supportive of her.  He was used to going back and forth between New York and Seoul, now it would be Los Angeles and Seoul.  He had called everyone out to an Italian restaurant for a late dinner.

The last few days had been busy.  Ilana had money wired to a bank in Seoul and purchased a building to restore.  It was a start, Ilana really wanted to build as that was what they were best known for:  offering companies their services from the ground up.  Antonio and JungMin's job was done and were free to go.  JungMin and Suzy left for Jeju Wednesday night and Antonio to Los Angeles Thursday afternoon.  Ilana and Chi TaeYoung were left to go over blueprints and hash out ideas as well as hire a construction company.  Despite everything, Ilana still had her architecture's license and could carry her own in any discussion.  Knowing she would have to prove herself to TaeYoung, she no problem doing that without using her connection to the F4.

Jihoo and Ilana arrived at the Kitchen Salvatore Italian restaurant.  Thankfully, Jihoo had her dresses for all Ilana brought was her business suits and casual clothing.  That was enough for business dinners with Antonio, JungMin, and Suzy, but not an evening with the F4 family.

 - "Jihoo-yah, what if they get upset I'm here."  Ilana had thought mainly of Jihoo and Harabeoji's wrath but not of the rest of his friends.

 - "Gwenchana, they were more upset with me for letting you go, than with you for going."

 - "Chincha?"

 - "Deh!"  He pecked her cheek and then stood back gazing softly at her.  Could he have forgotten how much he loved her?  Or could he have grown more in love with her since her return?

They waited in line for the host to ask for their reservation and Ilana felt Jihoo's gaze on her.  "Wae?"  She reached for her purse to retrieve a mirror.  Jihoo's hand stopped her.

 - "Hajima.  Nomu saranghayo, did anae know that?"  Jihoo spoke very quietly only for her to hear and was rewarded with her blushing.

The host took Jihoo's name and nervously escorted them to the table where YiJung and GaEul already were seated.  As usual, JunPyo had to be fashionably late.  "Ilana!"  GaEul squealed with delight, standing immediately to embrace her long lost-sister.

 - "Ilana-yah," YiJung turned gave her his charming smile.  "Glad to have you back, things weren't the same without you."

 - "Mianhamnida for worrying you all."

 - "Geokjeongmarayo (No worries)!"  He then gave her a serious expression.  "Don't do it again."

 - "Anieyo!  Jeongmal!"  She turned to Jihoo, "what did he say the first time?"

 - "He said, no worries.  Na told Sarang everything would be fine."

 - "Ilana-yah, you weren't worried about us were you?"

 - "Deh, jogeumyo."  Ilana still felt slightly uncomfortable in their presence.

 - "What's important is that you're back," GaEul told her.  "Although, Gu JunPyo might feel a little different."  GaEul looked to YiJung for confirmation.

 - "Anieyo," Jihoo said.  "JunPyo was most angry at me for not going after her."  He squeezed her hand under the table.

 - "Yah!  What about me?"  JunPyo had heard his name walking up to the table.

Ilana startled at the booming voice and turned to meet JunPyo and JanDi.

 - "Ilana-yah, you're back!"  JanDi immediately smiled and hugged Ilana who had stood to greet them.

 - "Mianhamnida JanDi-ah, mianhamnida JunPyo-ssi."

JunPyo smiled almost a bit shyly, "he said you'd be back.  Mannaseo bangawo (It's really good to see you)."

 - "Kansamnida," Ilana inclined her head to them.

Initial awkwardness over, once they were all seated, JunPyo was back to his usual boisterous self.  "Yah Yoon Jihoo, the only reason you asked us all out was because of Ilana-ssi?"

 - "Deh," Jihoo said with the mischievous glint in his eyes.  Ilana poked his side and he grabbed her hand before she could do it again. "Na will be leaving for Los Angeles with anae.  She has work to do and I completely support her.  My work is done here for now.  The projects I was supposed to set up are under their own management and I am free to only focus on the foundation.  It will be easy for me to travel back and forth once a month as I did before."

 - "Sunbae!"  JanDi spoke out.  "You just came home and now you're leaving again?"

 - "Yah!  Na thought you'd be a better chingu from now on, but you're leaving again," JunPyo all but pouted.

 - "Na did promise and Na will be a better chingu hajiman Yesu and anae have to come first.  Ilana will be coming back often as well, she is establishing ILC group here in the republic."  Jihoo smiled proudly at her.

 - "Chincha!

 - "Jeongmal?"

 - "Why didn't you say anything?"

 - "Chukahae!"

Different exclamations rose from the table.

 - "Ilana-yah?"  GaEul, the romantic asked.  "Will you have a wedding before you leave?"

Ilana bit her lip, knowing Jihoo's friends would be disappointed.  Jihoo took her hand and gave her courage to make the announcement.  "We leave Sunday," disappointment was evident amongst the group.  "You will all be invited to my home for the wedding ceremony.  We'll start planning as soon as we get there.  I hope you will come."  Just thinking of them not coming made her emotional.

 - "Greomyo!"  YiJung said.

 - "Jihoo's been expecting a spring wedding," GaEul said excitedly.

 - "Wouldn't miss it, I'm the best man," JunPyo said, earning laughter from the rest of the table.

 - "Deh Gu JunPyo-ssi, Jihoo could not have a better best man or best men."  Ilana mentally thanked God for this journey as she had many times already.

1) Kansamnida nampyon for making the video for me.  There wasn't a video for Ilana's song and after trying different methods I asked him if he would make me one.  Despite his Mom ready to pass away at any moment, he made it really quick.  It's basic but it works.  :)

2) When I was searching for songs, the lyrics to Remember struck a chord and they were exactly Ilana's feelings.  It wasn't until afterward that I read the song was from the point of view of the writer's friend who was sold into ual slavery as a child in Cambodia.

3) Mianhae for the length of the chapter, but I just got too caught up in the reunion and those too sweet Jihoo/Ilana moments.

Saranghae!  Don't forget to Comment, subscribe and Vote!

Our couple will be heading back to Los Angeles next chapter.  Wonder if JanDi is going to kill Harabeoji when she realizes he was teasing her.