Jihoo sat in a Church service for the first time since completing his military service.  He had wanted to stay in bed and sleep but made himself get up out of bed.  In his dreams, he was with her and that's where he wanted to stay.  Instead, he'd gotten in his car, not informing Harabeoji that he was leaving, and drove until coming to a stop in front of a small Church.   His mind wandered, but it was comforting to just sit there and review the week.

He had arrived in Seoul on Tuesday late afternoon and it was as if Harabeoji had known he would return.

"You're here.  How long will you stay?"  He asked.

"Mollah?  As long as I need to."

"Mmm, since you're home, make yourself useful.  I don't want to see that stoic face of yours moping."

"Deh Harabeoji."

Jihoo got right to work the next day.  Tackling mounds of reports that had been neglected for the last month.  He wanted to concentrate his efforts on the foundation, thinking they should be doing more for the community.  The students should be sharing their talent more and began calling different grade schools in under-privileged areas to see if they would like to participate in a new program.  Deciding to make this part of the curriculum and a graduation requirement, he was excited about the project.  He wanted to be busy.  He needed to be busy.  "Yesu, if you're watching her, help me not to worry.  Otherwise, Yesu knows how badly Na want to run after her.  What should I do as I wait?  Yesu brought me home for a reason.  Was it so I wouldn't run after her until you were done with her?  Eottokhae while I'm here?  Na don't want to be in the way here.  Where is the need?"

His grandfather appeared in his thoughts as well as his friends.  Suddenly he felt a little guilty having run out on them when he moved to New York.  Feeling like he didn’t belong anymore, due to JunPyo and JanDi's wedding, he left.  He needed them to stop being dependent on him to solve all their problems.  Occasionally, he was still pulled in but not to the same extent as before.  Of course, Jaejoong pulled him into his drama all the time, so he never really escaped it.

 - "Having then gifts differing according to the grace that is given to us, let us use them."

 - "What are my gifts?"  Jihoo asked himself.  All he could think of was his music. He supposed one could say he was a good Doctor.

 - "…if it is to encourage, then give encouragement; if it is to lead, do it diligently.”

 - "Encourage?"  He didn't think that a gift, he did his best with his staff at the hospital, his friends, and Ilana.  Leading was another responsibility that was usually upon him; not one he actively chose.  Was this why?  "Are these supposed to be my gifts?"  Sighing he thought it was just too much, too hard and yet he realized he was always placed in a position to lead and give encouragement.  He was always there to be the voice of reason even if Gu JunPyo was the self-proclaimed leader of F4.  In less than two years he was made the head doctor of the critical care department.  He took care of his patients well and encouraged their families not to lose hope.  With JanDi, he took care of her when JunPyo’s Mother was at her worst.  His silent presence was her encouragement.  When it became too much, he was there for her to share her tears and make her burden less.  Then his thoughts came to Ilana.  Her smile was suddenly before him.  He gave his everything to fight the battle with her and yet they failed.

 - "The battle is mine," Jihoo heard the soft voice in his head.

 - "Wae Yesu?  Na want to take care of her, love her.  Yesu gave her to me."

 - "Be about my business," Jihoo heard.

He spent the rest of the service pondering those words.  It wasn't until announcements were read that he suddenly came upon an idea.  They needed people to donate time and talents at a refugee camp sponsored by the Church.  He remembered the day Gu JunPyo returned from his sojourn in New York.  He, JanDi, and other Shinhwa medical students visited a refugee camp giving basic medical aid and immunizations.  He remembered the little girl who called him Dr. Prince.  He smiled as he remembered the little girl and also that Jaejoong was first Dr. Prince to Isabel.  Now he was Appa Prince.  They could do no wrong in each other’s eyes at the moment.  He laughed inwardly and wondered what would happen when she became a teenager.

Service was at an end.  Jihoo rose from his seat, determined to make himself available to help.

 - "My name is Jihoo Yoon," Jihoo inclined his head at the American Pastor in front of him.  He didn't realize it when he entered but the Church must have been put in place by American missionaries.

 - "Nice to meet you, Mr. Yoon, I'm Victor."  Pastor Victor extended to the younger man in front of him.  Curious as to why this Korean national was visiting his Church but it's not as if he was going to turn him away.  The Lord had his reasons, he just had to be patient and wait to see if he would be told.

 - "I know I'm only a visitor in the Church but I'd Like to help at the refugee camp.  I'm a Doctor and can round up others as well as supplies."  Jihoo was already thinking of involving the Shinhwa students again.

 - "Well, I'd love to hear what you're thinking?  Do you have time for lunch or perhaps another day?"  Pastor Victor wondered if this man was his answer to prayer.  The camps needed people to volunteer on a short-term and long-term basis.  They needed people with all kinds of talents.  Doctors were in high demand.

Jihoo thought about it, he had nothing pressing to do at the moment.  He would be having dinner at Gu JunPyo's house.   They were certainly waiting for him to explain himself.  He knew the distance between New York and Seoul was not far when his friends were involved.  "Yes, I have time."

Pastor Victor informed those waiting for him to go on without him.

Once settled at a barbecue restaurant nearby they began to talk.

 - "What brings you to our Church Dr. Jihoo?"

 - "I’m not sure, I felt like a drive this morning and something made me stop.  I believe it's because I'm supposed to help."  Jihoo slipped into English as he spoke with the Pastor.

 - "Ah!  Well, we've been praying for help."

 - "I'm back from the states for a while and I feel like I need to further my parents’ dreams.  My Harabeoji has done all he can and I need to set things in motion."

Pastor Victor was getting increasingly interested in the man in front of him, especially his choice of words about setting things in motion.  Isn't that what a missionary does?  Starts the Lord's work; setting it in motion and when all is well, moves on to another job?  "Then you plan to return to the states?"

Did he?  He didn't know anyone, he thought so.  "I’m not sure; I'm...waiting for someone."  It sounded odd and awkward but Jihoo thought a Pastor should understand.  "I...needed to come back home to wait.  That's what I felt when I prayed.  Forgive me; I only heard a portion of your sermon."

 - "As long as you heard what you were supposed to hear, I can't protest."

 - "Deh, I did.  Then I heard your announcement and it was in line with what I had already begun.  And also I asked the Lord to keep me busy while I wait."

Pastor Victor laughed.  "The refugee camps will definitely keep you busy."

The two conversed easily for a while.  Jihoo didn't disclose any personal information but did mention he would be meeting with Shinhwa University medical program to utilize the students.  The Pastor had been in Seoul long enough to know that Shinhwa was an elitist school, even more so than Brown, Columbia, and Cornell in the U.S.  His curiosity was growing fast but knew the Lord had sent him for a reason; both the Church and Jihoo would be blessed by that reason.

Jihoo left the restaurant with a bit of excitement.  He didn't realize it before, but he needed to have a purpose in life.  It had begun with JanDi, continued in the military, then his staff, patients, and of course, Ilana.  Thinking of Ilana, he realized he'd been so busy since leaving London he didn't have a chance to update the conversation log he had begun in Spain.  He decided to do so as soon as he got home and before heading to Gu JunPyo's house.

- "Yesu, let her be well and return to me soon, juseyo"

By the time Jihoo had finished his short note, it was about time to head to the Gu family mansion.  He sighed, thinking he didn't really want to go but he also didn't want to run away this time.  He had a reason for being here this time.  He fled to New York really without one but now realized perhaps it was to meet Ilana.

He opened his laptop back and added a postscript to the conversation log.

Jihoo took a gray puff jacket from his closet and went to tell his Grandfather he was leaving.  "Harabeoji, I'm leaving."  Jihoo knocked on the bedroom door before sliding it open.

 - "Choah.  You've been working too hard child.  Let's go ice fishing tomorrow.  It's been a few months and it’s a good time to go."  The last time they went fishing Jihoo announced to him he’d be bringing Ilana to the Gala.

Jihoo thought about it, he really wanted to get the refugee project started but he supposed he could wait until the afternoon.  It would be a good diversion and an opportunity to speak to his Grandfather of the two projects he was starting.  "Arraso, Harabeoji, but the person who catches the least amount of fish has to make the stew."

Harabeoji gave his gruff laugh.  "Ah deh, grandson should have his knives sharpened and the vegetables ready."

 - "Yah, what makes Harabeoji so certain he will win?"

 - "The fish know me."

 - "Exactly, so they'll run away from Harabeoji and come to me."

Harabeoji laughed again and shooed Jihoo away.  "Go on with you, your chingu are waiting.”

 - "Deh Harabeoji," Jihoo bowed to his Grandfather and left.

Harabeoji stared at the door for a minute or two trying to figure his grandson out.  His wife disappeared and although there was a tinge of sadness in his eyes, there was also a calmness about him that he never had when JanDi ran away to where her parents were.  He wondered what he meant by saying he'd be staying as long as he needed too.  "Atch that boy will just have to answer some questions tomorrow."

JanDi was getting the table ready and giving her husband last-minute instructions.  "Now, InHei Appa (Gu JunPyo) don't say a word to Jihoo Sunbae about Ilana.  Let him open up on his own."

 - "Aish, since when does Jihoo open up on his own."

 - "JunPyo, you never know."

 - "He hasn't breathed a word to Harabeoji, maja?"

 - "Mollah, don't harass him for information, you know he'll leave."

 - "Jeongmal, if we don't ask him and he doesn't tell us, then how are we supposed to find out?!"  Gu JunPyo had begun shouting with frustration at his friend's lack of communication.

 - "Gu JunPyo, calm down.  Someone might hear you!"

 - "This is my house!"

 - "Yah!  Gu JunPyo I can hear you shouting all the way from my car," Jihoo walked in on the shouting couple.  They were always bickering but it was just the way they loved each other.  Both were stubborn and both thought they were always right.  Well, if anyone admitted it, JanDi could claim that she really was almost always right.

 - "Sunbae!"  JanDi recovered quickly.  "I'm so glad you're here."  JanDi greeted him with her usual effervescent smile.  "So how was..." JanDi had forgotten her own admonishment.

 - "Greoun, how cold was it in New York when you left?"  Gu JunPyo covered nicely.

 - "Warmer," he said in typical Jihoo fashion.

Thankfully, YiJung and GaEul arrived in time to avoid any awkward silence.  "Jihoo bro, nice to see you again so soon.  We wouldn't have expected you for another week or two."  He pounded Jihoo on the back.

 - "Mmm.  Something came up."  Jihoo could tell they were trying to avoid the topic of Ilana.  He had only time to send a message to WooBin as Jihoo was leaving for Seoul when WooBin and JaeKyung were on their way back to New York.  He thought this was as good a time as any to bring up the refugee project.  "After dinner, na want to talk to you guys about a charity project.  I'd like to utilize Shinhwa med students and would like your consent."

 - "What kind of charity project?"  Gu JunPyo asked, immediately on guard.  "We can't give away more than one scholarship a year."

 - "Ara, neaga requesting something else."

 - "I'm open, Jihoo," Yi Jung said.  He was actually hoping Jihoo would give them some information as to why he was back.  "We can talk about it after we eat maja?"  YiJung looked at JunPyo to keep him quiet and just go along with the flow.

 - "Arraso," Gu JunPyo pouted, having understood the look in YiJung's eyes.  He didn't like change that much unless he was the one changing things but he was willing to hear his friend out.

The meal passed uncomfortably quiet until the kids escaped their babysitter.  InHei came running followed by JeongYul.  "Ajussi!"  Jihoo quickly laid his chopsticks across the plate as the six-year-old bundle of energy jumped into his lap and clung to his neck.  Jihoo smiled.  "InHei-ah, did you and JeongYul escape the babysitter again?"  How many times did he and the F4 do the exact same thing?

 - "InHei-ah!"  JanDi said sternly, making the little girl cower in Jihoo's arms.

 - "Ajussi!"  JeongYul pouted.  He wanted to hug his favorite uncle as well, but InHei was always hogging him.  "Noona!  Na hug Ajussi too."

 - "Wait your turn dongsaeng."  Every now and then her Father's personality snuck out of her.

 - "Na promise to play for you later, InHei.  Be a good girl and let me say hello to JeongYul."

 - "Deh, Ajussi," said a long-faced InHei.  Then she remembered something.  "But why didn't Imo Ilana come?"

The awkward silence just got even more awkward.  This was the exact reason the kids were kept quietly upstairs.

 - "Imo?"  JeongYul didn't really know Imo Ilana but InHei told him all about her.

Jihoo scooted InHei off his lap and shook hands with JeongYul before answering.  "Imo Ilana had something to do in Los Angeles, when she's done we'll have our official wedding.  Would you two like to be in it?"

 - "Deh!"  Both kids were jumping for joy.

 - "Arraso, be good and go with your babysitter like Umma and Appa want you to or I'll tell Imo you two are naughty kids."

 - "Anieyo!  We're going, eliwah JeongYul."  InHei grabbed the younger boy's hand and ran back to the babysitter who was waiting patiently and hoping not to get scolded by her employers.  That InHei was a sweet child but clever; when an idea formed in her head there was no stopping her.  The boy followed her everywhere.

 - "Jihoo Sunbae," Gaeul waited until the kids were out of earshot.  "Is it true?  What you told the kids?"

 - "Deh."  Technically it was true.

 - "Then why are you here?"  Gu JunPyo asked suspiciously.

 - "Na also had things to do and I can't be in Los Angeles, New York, and Seoul all at the same time.  Na thought it best to concentrate on what needed to be done here and be available for when Ilana needs me."

 - "Sunbae?"  JanDi asked, a little worried.  She knew him well enough to know he was hiding something.  "When will Ilana be back?"

 - "Mollahyo how long it will take her to accomplish what she needs to do.  Naega hoping no later than spring.  Na still think she would like a spring wedding."  Jihoo was smiling at the thought of Ilana in her wedding dress, which was still at his house. They had both changed out of their wedding clothes to travel.

 - "So...when will you know?"  YiJeong asked.

 - "Soon," Jihoo replied.  "It will take some time to fully establish the project Na have had a vision of.  Also, Na will consider investing in another sports complex.  By then, na think she will be done as well."

 - "Jihoo Sunbae!  How can you two be apart for that long?"  JanDi didn't understand what her Sunbae was thinking and was getting frustrated.

 - "We promised yongwonhee.  A few Months can't change that."  Jihoo spoke with an assurance and bravery that could only come from God.  Left to his own, he would have run after her by now.  His mind wandered as he thought of her; thankfully the conversation was turned away from him.

Gu JunPyo would have continued questioning his friend but allowed YiJung to direct the conversation to his new pottery collection.  "When are you planning to unveil?"  He asked.

 - "Soon, in another month I should be done and ready to go.  As usual, one piece will stay in the museum and the rest will be sold."  There was a wing in the so family museum, just for the family’s work, from his Grandfather’s to his Father’s to YiJung’s.

 - "Deh, he's been working so hard I rarely see him," GaEul said.  "It's like his pottery wheel is his mistress."  Gaeul playfully said.  She had full confidence in her husband’s fidelity.

 - "Anieyo, that mistress is cold.  Na would never trade you."  Yi Jung leaned over and kissed his wife.

Jihoo saw this and was saddened a little.  He did miss his wife.  Nothing could take that away from him.  He could only distract himself by keeping busy.  "Yesu, help me not to be envious this time.  Ara when the time is right I'll be seeing nae burgundy rose again."

The conversation at the table had gone on without him as was common.  Soon everyone had had their fill of JanDi's delicious food and the kitchen staff was now coming to clear the table.

 - "Gu Junpyo, let's shoot some pool while we hear what new projects Jihoo has planned."

 - "Anieyo, there is only three of us."  Gu JunPyo was being oblivious to the message of 'let's talk away from the girls'.

 - "Gwenchana, I'll play first winner," Jihoo said.  Not oblivious to what YiJung was trying.

 - "Arraso but it's better when the four of us are together."

 - "Yeobo, na thought we'd all spend time together?"  Gaeul asked.  Neither she nor JanDi had an interest or the knowledge of how to play pool and knew they were deliberately being excluded from the conversation.

 - "Gwenchana, we'll be talking business.  You know that bores you.  JanDi and you can play with the kids for a while before InHei decides to convince adeul to trick the babysitter again."

 - "Yah!"  Gu JunPyo took offense.  "InHei can't help it she has my intelligence."

Those at the table laughed, preferring not to comment.

 - "Yah!  Wae?!"

 - "Anieyo!"  Jihoo composed himself first, let's shoot some pool.  "Gwenchana GaEul, we won't be long.  Na promised to take Harabeoji ice fishing in the morning."

 - "Ah, no wonder he said I was on my own for most of the day," JanDi said.

 - "Deh, if I don't catch more fish than he does, I have to make the fish stew.  He'll only scold me for not making it like Umma or JanDi."

 - "Sunbae, should na tell Harabeoji to be nice?"

 - "Gwenchana, it won't work."

The men then parted from the woman, leaving them greatly annoyed at being excluded.  "They're probably going to ask Sunbae about Ilana," JanDi paced.

 - "Hajiman Jihoo Oppa said he was going to discuss a project with them?"  Gaeul was still innocent enough to believe her husband and his friends, but JanDi knew them well enough to know they were up to something.

 - "I'm worried for Sunbae.  Why did Ilana leave all of a sudden? They love each other, anyone can see that?"

 - "Maja but perhaps something really did come up and it couldn't be avoided.  Jihoo Oppa is right.  He can't be in three places at once."

 - "Deh, but we don’t really know Ilana.  The guys know more than you and I.  I'm sure this has something to do with what they know and not telling us."

 - "He must be sad to be away from Ilana and her him.  I'm sure they talk every day."

 - "Deh, when he came once a month he was always texting her.  So that must be how they can withstand being apart."

 - "Maja and you heard him making plans for a spring wedding."

 - "Deh, perhaps there is nothing to worry about."  JanDi spoke the words but still had some doubt.

In the game room, Gu JunPyo and YiJung were one turn each into the game, while Jihoo watched on with more disinterest than interest.  "So Jihoo, chingu, what are you not saying?"  YiJung casually asked as he shot two balls into the corner.

 - "Mwo?"

 - "Yah Jihoo-yah, you're hiding something from us."

Jihoo shrugged off Gu JunPyo's comment.

 - "Jihoo-yah, how can two newlyweds be apart so soon?  I mean I waited seven years for Gaeul and let me tell you Na couldn't keep my hands off of her.  It's a miracle adeul wasn't born sooner.  I mean a man has needs, maja?"

Jihoo couldn't evade the answer to that question.  "We're waiting until we're married in the Church.  She's not quite ready after all."

 - "Mwo?  You mean you went on honeymoon and didn't...?"

 - Deh and it's my problem, not yours."  Jihoo was suddenly irritated with his friends.  They meant well but wouldn't understand and he wasn't about to explain it to them.

 - "Jihoo-yah," YiJeong stopped playing, all pretense of playing was now forgotten.  "We just want to know that you're okay.  And I guess secondly if Ilana is okay."  They had taken a liking to the girl for their friend’s sake and also had a bit of sympathy for all that she had gone through.

 - "Deh and she will be...soon."

 - "Yah!"  Gu JunPyo was the irritated one, As if the situation was happening to him and not Jihoo.  "Eottokhae?  Why are you even here?  You're just going to let her leave?"

 - "It's not that," Jihoo sighed.  "I'm supposed to be here."  Jihoo's friends looked at him like he'd finally lost it.  "You won't understand, so just drop it."

YiJung put a restraining hand on Gu JunPyo before he blew a gasket.  "Look, we're chingu, try us."

Jihoo sighed, they would never understand.  "Na believe Yesu is telling me to wait and to wait here.   And also to keep busy; that's what I wanted to talk to you about."  His friends looked at him with sympathy, thinking he'd finally lost it.  "Na don't need to defend myself to you.  Ara what I believe and ara that Yesu is taking care of her and when it's time we'll be together again.  What I need from you is to help approve using Shinhwa Medical students at a refugee camp."  Jihoo briefly explained how he was pondering his strengths at the Church, when they announced the need at the refugee camp.  "JanDi and I did this a few times.  I believe it's been some time since they have helped the community in any way."

Gu JunPyo had been so busy with Shinhwa group that he'd forgotten all about the responsibility Shinhwa had to the community.  After all, they were being raised up to be the next leaders of the country and the very best in their fields.

 - "Aish, mollah.  It's been a long time since we did anything like that," Gu JunPyo still had tendencies to be a discriminating elitist.  He couldn't help it, old habits die hard.  He had to be reminded by his wife that he was no better than anyone else.

 - "Well, you're in charge of the Medical Department.  If this is what you think best, I give my consent.  I'm sure WooBin will agree too, but all you need is the two of us to be in agreement.  Maja Gu JunPyo?  Jan Di will be happy when she finds out you've agreed to help."  YiJung hit his friend where it hurt most:  the approval and admiration of his wife.

 - "Greomyo!  I was just going to say the idea is daeback, naega glad we agreed to it."

Jihoo shook his head.  Vanity always won with Gu JunPyo.  Make it seem like his idea and he was sure to agree.  "Kansamnida, Na appreciate your support in this."

 - "Greomyo, we stick together," Gu JunPyo said.

They spent the rest of the evening being entertained by the kids who had decided to put on a show for them.  Unknown to Jihoo, he was to provide the musical accompaniment.  He did so gladly.  He had to admit, it was nice to be home for however long the Lord decided to keep him here.

Los Angeles, CA

Ilana sat in the sanctuary listening to the band practice.  It was peaceful and they didn't mind.  Cynthia had a pretty Alto voice and Amye more of a soprano.  She hadn't met everyone yet but the congregation was a decent size, mainly Korean but mixed with Hispanic and Caucasian.  Ilana sighed with longing remembering the night at Carnegie Hall and Jihoo made her sing and play but again, she felt like there was no one to play for.

  - "Play for me."

Those were the words he told her but he was no longer at her side.

 - "Play for me."

Again, Ilana heard those words as if they were right next to her.  It was that sweet small voice she had come to recognize as Yesu.  She had learned the Korean word for Jesus.  The services were mostly in Korean and a translator would faithfully narrate what was being said.

She couldn't believe one prayer; one sincere choice could change her life so drastically.  She had repented of all her anger toward God and her own foolishness and lies; so tired of living as she was.  There had to be a better way.  Almost immediately she felt an overwhelming lightness and a warmth spread through her.  All the frightening dark thoughts that had always plagued her no longer bothered her.  She had been at the Church almost every day that week, just listening and wanting to learn more about her heavenly savior.  She then thought of Jihoo, her earthly savior.  "Sarang, mianhae.  Had I known then, what I do now?  Things could have been different.  Lord, let him be happy, juseyo?  Let him not hate me?"

Ilana had been given hope that perhaps he didn't hate her, at least.  She had emailed SungRyung her letter of resignation and a formal apology, for leaving without notice.  SungRyung's reply was:

"Don't you worry about a thing and be well.  Jihoo gave us your resignation last week.  You'll be in SangWoo and mine's prayers, dear.  Be assured you will be missed.  If there's anything you need or even an ear to listen, I'm here for you."

That was completely shocking, why would he bother on her behalf?

Later in the week, she received another shock.  Her attorney called her to let her know he had received her deposit back from her apartment.

 - "Miss Ilana, your fiancé liquidated your apartment as you two discussed.  I didn't know you'd be returning home for a short time."

 - "Ah, yes," she mumbled.

  - "I have just received your deposit back.  Should I forward it to your accountant to deposit or to the house?"

 - "I-I suppose to the accountant."

 - "Ah, he also said not to worry.  Your valuables are with him, both sentimental and monetary.  Your furniture he placed in a highly secure storage unit.  The man thought of everything."

 - "Yes, he's like that," tears were falling down her face.  She knew this was where she was supposed to be and yet she was still too new in her relationship with the Lord not to have regrets.

 - "So when will be the big day?"

 - "Ex-excuse me?"

 - "Ah, forgive me, Miss Ilana I have another line ringing.  Come in soon to create your will.  That’s important for your future and that of your children."

 - "Yes...thank you."

Ilana had hung up her phone and ran to her parent’s room to cry.  "How could you still take care of me?  Despite everything?  What can I do to pay you back?"

 - "Ilana-yah!  Ilana-yah!"  Pastor Jonathan broke through her thoughts.  She rose from her seat to walk toward the altar.  "How'd we do?"

 - "Daeback!"  She gave them a thumbs up.  The Church body was getting used to having her around.  The younger kids thought it cool she spoke so many languages and the ajumma-deul were very impressed with the Korean she did know.  "I'm going to call my ride; I'll see you guys tonight."

After lunch, she retreated into her parent’s room.  It had become a place for her to sit quietly, meditate on the sermon that day, read from her Bible App or just stare at the picture hanging in front of the bed.  Today, she sat at her Mother's table and again stole a sheet of stationery.  "Le comprare mas (I'll buy you more), Mama.  No me regañe (Don't scold me)."  She had many one way conversations with her parents these days.  Also, a one-way correspondence that she didn't realize was becoming habit.

Placing the letter in an envelope, she would drop it off at the post office on her way back to Church later.  She also decided to call her attorney and set up her will, should anything happen to her all her loved ones were protected.  They may not be blood but they were hers.  For now, she lay on her parent’s bed and decided to nap.  She hadn’t returned to the office but was doing research at home for Antonio and JungMin.  He had nailed the YG and SM proposals and now JungMin was going after Korean retailers such as HMart.  There was a thriving Korean population nearby and the Orange County Koreatown was slowly being moved there.   This was a huge opportunity for whoever could secure the business.  In a way, her Father had invented the club store of the construction and real estate world.  Her company offered a business everything they needed from the building to the interior design to marketing.  That was how they were so successful and they only hired the best and most talented people.  She knew Park Jung Min fit that description perfectly and he hadn't disappointed her at all.  In less than six months he landed two huge accounts and was working on more that would get the company's foot in the door to the Asian market.  She had been staying up late doing research and more research but today she would allow herself a nap.

Bundled up for a morning of Ice fishing, Jihoo and his Grandfather waited patiently for the fish to become entangled in their lines.  "Harabeoji, would you like tea?"

 - "Ah, deh."  It was cold even in their shelter.  Harabeoji took a sip of hot tea.  "Ah!  Warms the bones."

Jihoo grinned at his Grandfather.  Ilana wouldn't last five minutes in this cold, he thought.  Then he sighed.  He'd done his best to keep his mind occupied so as not to think of her but she was always there hovering just out of sight but not out of mind.  "Yesu, let her be well and may it be your will she returns soon," Jihoo silently prayed, unaware that his Grandfather was staring at him.

 - "What is that face, child?"

Jihoo startled slightly.  Had his Grandfather been talking to him?  "Waeyo?"

 - "Jihoo is mourning for anae."

 - "Anieyo, it's cold and was trying to stay warm."

Harabeoji harrumphed.  He knew his Grandson; he'd been there when JanDi ran away because Madame Kang threatened the foundation.  He was there when Gu JunPyo and she were married and the look of longing and torment was on his face.  This face was new to him, there was longing and at the same time resignation.  Resignation to what he wondered? "How long will you be like this?"

 - "Mollahyo?  I don't know what you mean?"

 - "Atch!  What game are you two playing?  Are you letting her go?"

 - "Amogotdoyo, Harabeoji!"

 - "Nae Grandson would have been at her side by now, working on a solution to the problem.  Instead, you are here."

 - "Harabeoji doesn't understand."

 - "Explain so that I may understand, child.  Are you happy to be apart from her?  Is she?"

 - "Mollan Anji!  It has to be this way, just for a time."

 - "Jeongmal child?"

 - "Harabeoji, trust me juseyo.  Nae place is here, only for a short time.  There is work to be done here.  Na want to further Abeoji and Umma's dream.  Na want to establish another profitable investment in order to add to the foundation's work.  Na want a mobile clinic not only for the outskirts of Seoul but for some of the refugee camps.  Na want to establish music in schools that don't already have it.  The Shinhwa students will run the clinic and the conservatory third and fourth years can run the music program.  It won't take long to set things in motion and then I'll be free to dedicate myself to her."

Harabeoji was actually impressed.  His Grandson, while usually the logical one of his friends, had really mapped things out in detail.  This wasn't the boy who ran off to the military and then to New York.  There was an undercurrent of excitement in his voice as he relayed his plans.  As of now, he'd only maintained what they already had.  He did well with their current investments; there was never a need to add to them.  The conservatory did well each year, the tuition and programs offered, more than kept the school maintained and staffed.  The foundation made more than enough in donations each year to keep the clinics.  The museum always did well.  Deh, the gods had been good to them, despite that horrible incident all those years ago.  Jihoo's plans were sound but what of his wife?  "What of Ilana?  What are her plans?"

 - "To heal, Harabeoji.  Only Yesu and her family can help her with that at the moment.  When she's ready we'll know."

 - "To heal?  Did Na Grandson forget what his profession is?  How will you know when she's healed?"

 - "Anieyo Harabeoji, this is something na can't help her with.  Yesu will tell me when she's well," he smiled.  "He bound us together.  Nothing can separate us."

Harabeoji remained quiet.  He knew his Grandson had left their traditions for the Christian God but he'd never spoken with such boldness.  It was as if he'd spoken directly to God and received these precise instructions.  Harabeoji turned to his fishing pole and re-cast.  "Let's concentrate on the fish."  This was something he needed to think about.

Jihoo smiled inwardly at his Grandfather and re-cast his line as well.

As usual, Harabeoji caught more fish.  Only one more; truthfully, Jihoo deliberately lost on occasion just to give the old man bragging rights. By now, Jihoo was an expert in making his Mother's fish stew.  He had found the recipe by chance in the back of a kitchen cupboard.  There was something about having his Mother's stew, next to his Grandfather on the bank of a river that put a smile on Jihoo's face.  His heart swelled with joy and he momentarily stopped all his thought to thank God for this opportunity.  He understood his Grandfather may have gotten an extension on life but that extended warranty didn't last forever.  He'd been so busy with his activities in New York and trying to keep up with the demands of the foundation, his Grandfather had been all but been swept to the side.  Not that he did it intentionally, life just caught him up.

Harabeoji harrumphed at his Grandson.  "Yah pabo!  Your stew is not that good for you to be grinning like that."

 - "Mmm," Jihoo answered.  "Nae was thinking Harabeoji is a good fishing companion.  Hokshina (perhaps) we should go fishing once a week."

 - "Ah!  This kid thinks I need his company?  Atch!"  Grandfather and grandson looked at each other and began to laugh at their game.

Jihoo thought that perhaps he was supposed to enjoy this time with his Grandfather.  When Ilana returned it would be a busy time again but this time he knew better and would not neglect his Grandfather.

Once back in Seoul, Jihoo had a dinner meeting with Shinhwa's dean of medicine and Harabeoji headed for his clinic.  JanDi's husband would be wanting her back soon.

 - "Harabeoji!"  JanDi greeted the old man upon entering the clinic.  She was busy checking the vitals of a young patient who seemed to have caught a virus of some sort.

 - "Annyeong hasseyo," Grandfather greeted.  "Ka JiWon," He addressed the young patient.  "Did you eat too many sweets again?"  The child had been brought in with an unexplained stomach ache that ended up being a severe case of gastritis.  It seemed the boy was sneaking sweets and not eating his vegetables or much of his food.

 - "Anieyo Harabeoji!"  Ka JiWon protested.

 - "Aigoo, the boy has been running a fever since yesterday."

 - "Harabeoji, I'm sure it's just a virus.   I'll give him an antibiotic and send him on his way."

 - "A good pot of samgyetang will mend him quickly," Harabeoji added.

 - "Deh!" The patient's Mother said.

While JanDi finished with the patient, Harabeoji went into the office.  She had left the mail neatly stacked on his desk.  It was Monday and there was always twice the amount of mail.  Sorting through bills and advertisements, he noticed two first-class U.S. Airmail envelopes.  More curious than not, he sat down to open them.  They were both postmarked from California within days if each other, but no return address.  Could it be?  He sat and opened the first postmarked letter.  The letter itself was not dated but the postmark was January 10th.

 - "Aish!"  Harabeoji dropped the letter almost in anger.  He was angry at both of them, the girl for not trusting his Grandson's love in the face of her fears and his Grandson for just letting her go.  He was also frightened for Ilana, who was clearly unwell.  "Eottokhae?"

 - "Harabeoji, there are no more..."  JanDi's usual vivaciousness was interrupted when she noticed the scowl on his face.  "Harabeoji, gwenchanayo?"  She saw he had been going through the mail.

Harabeoji was brought back to the present and smiled kindly for JanDi.  "Deh, Deh, if there are no more patients go ahead.  Na will stay a few more hours."

 - "Chinchayo?  You're not tired?"

 - "Anieyo, nae Grandson's fish stew has kept me going.  Don't tell him I said so hajiman his stew is as good as his Umma’s.  Ah!  Before Na forget, take some with you."

 - "Harabeoji, be nice to Sunbae."  They both laughed.  JanDi remembered how Jihoo and his Grandfather didn't speak for years.  She didn't want her Sunbae to return to his smile less self.  Although he seemed fine, he couldn't possibly be.  Could he? 

 - "JanDi-ah, it's now you who is frowning."

 - "Ah!  Majayo Harabeoji," she smiled.  "Na hadn't even realized it." She became quiet again and sat at the desk.  "Harabeoji, where is Ilana? Sunbae said she was in Los Angeles, majayo?"

 - "Deh, na believe she is."

 - "Is it true they are still planning a spring wedding?"

 - "If Na Grandson says so, then it must be.  Don't worry too much.  They will figure things out.  Now off with you.  Na don't want JanDi nampyeon to send in the guard to bring you home."

JanDi could only laugh at how true this statement was.  For it had happened at least twice before.  "Deh, Harabeoji!  I'll be leaving now." JanDi took the parcel of soup and bowed before leaving.

Harabeoji debated opening the second letter.  He knew they would begin to get patients again any minute.  The letter was postmarked just two days later.  Deciding he would not be able to resist, he opened it and was surprised at the difference in tone.

After the usual greeting, she surprised him, "Jal jinaetseumnida (I am well)."  Eager to know how the change came about he continued to read:

A patient came into the clinic and he had to set aside the letter for later.  He locked them in a drawer in his desk and went out to greet the patient.

Jihoo left his meeting with the Dean in good spirits.  He thought the idea of sending small groups of students to a refugee camp good exposure for the students.  They won't get to choose who they treat or not when they are Doctors.  Yes, it would be beneficial for them.  Since the group of Shinhwa students is small, he would also be drafting a letter to the four major hospitals in Seoul.  If every hospital, plus Shinhwa University could send out just five people once a month, they would have several camps covered with medical care.  He would contact Pastor Victor tomorrow for more information.

It was getting late, Jihoo decided to go by the clinic and pick up Harabeoji.  If there were many patients left, he could help.

Harabeoji was with a patient and one waiting when he heard the door.

 -  "Harabeoji," Jihoo knocked on the examining room door.  "Nae will see your remaining patient."

 - "Choah, choah."  Harabeoji turned back to his patient. "Nae Grandson," he said proudly.

Two hours later and about four more patients, there was no one else in the small waiting area.  "Did Harabeoji eat dinner?"

 - "Ah deh!  A patient brought gimbap."

 - "Choayo, it wouldn't be right for the doctor to get sick."

 - "Atch, naega healthier than nae Grandson any day."

Jihoo laughed at his Grandfather's joking.  As long as he could remember Harabeoji always made him laugh.  "Arraso Ajussi, na believe you.  Let's go home."

 - "Deh, let me get the mail, Na didn't finish reviewing it."  Harabeoji wanted to re-read Ilana's last letter.

 - "Nae already placed it in my jacket pocket; we can review it when we get home."

 - "Ah Deh!"  It was a good thing he had hidden the letters.  He wanted to wait and see if she wrote again.  Then perhaps he would tell his Grandson.

Lying on the floor mattress in his room, Harabeoji's mind wouldn't sleep.  He kept thinking of Ilana's second letter.  The first letter had him slightly worried, whereas the second had him intrigued.  He was glad she was able to get some peace.  It seemed as though she hadn't been happy with her life in a long time.  Or perhaps it was just herself she wasn't happy with.  She had been happy with Jihoo; the light in her eyes when she looked at him wasn’t fake nor the soft smile of contentment of a woman in love.  He knew it from his own wife and also his son’s wife.  Yes, the girl loves his Grandson, but fear got in the way.  What did she write?  Something about comforting those who had been abused or assaulted?  Was that the weight she had been carrying?  He couldn't ask his Grandson, there was something about a foundation in the letter.  He would re-read it tomorrow.  For now, he needed sleep.

January 25, 2015

It was day two of Jihoo's work with the refugees.  He, Shinhwa students, and a group from the Church spent the night near Daegu with a group of Somalian refugees.  Despite the language barrier, the trip was a success.  The Church group ministered to their souls and he and the students their bodies.  Despite their pampered upbringing, the students were actually excited about the weekend.  This was definitely not the group of kids he went to school with.

They were now on the outskirts of Seoul and would be spending the day with a group from the North.   "I'm pleased with all of you.  You worked hard yesterday.  Naega proud of each of you.  Just a reminder, I'm expecting the same performance as yesterday.  Arraseo?"

 - "Deh seonsangnim!"  The small group shouted out.

The camps were cold and uncomfortable, not at all like the comforts of Shinhwa Academy or home.  But his team endured it well, with only minimal complaints. "Yang Syeoh-ssi and Hwa Chihun-ssi, the two of you can go around to the different family groups to see what is needed.  Especially the young children that haven't had all their vaccines and the elderly.  The rest of us will quickly set up the medical tents and equipment."  The students got to work as soon as they arrived.

His first patient was a Grandmotherly type woman who was brought in by a granddaughter.  The Grandmother already had advanced con heart disease.  There was nothing they could do, but give her medication to keep her comfortable.

Yang SyeOh soon appeared with a young Mother carrying a child of about five years old.  "Seonsangnim, The child is burning up and is having a hard time breathing."

 - "Put on gloves and take her vitals, while I wash up."

Jihoo quickly applied a liberal amount of hand sanitizer and approached the little girl that was now lying on the cot.

 - "Seonsangnim, she's too weak and her fever too high."  Yang SyeOh gave Jihoo the vital readings as he listened to the child’s lungs.

 - "How long has she been sick?"

 - "Just about two weeks."

He removed the stethoscope from his ears and watched the child breathe for about five minutes.  "SyeOh-ssi, get her on a breathing treatment and start an IV."  He turned to the Mother, "Ajumma, she has pneumonia.  We can start her on an antibiotic and we'll see how she does at the end of the day.  Na might need to take her to the clinic."

 - "Kansamnida!  Kansamnida!"  The Mother cried.

 - "Anieyo," he put a comforting hand on her shoulder.  "Is Ajumma well?"  He felt her forehead for fever, but she was fine.

 - "Deh Uissanim, gwenchanayo," she said a little embarrassed for losing her composure.

 - "Ajumma needs to rest as well."  He called for SyeOh who was assisting another student.  "SyeOh-ssi, bring Ajumma a cot."

 - "Deh seonsangnim," SyeOh went off to do what she was told.

 - "I'll check on her again later," Jihoo went to the next patient who was a young girl about twenty one or so.  "Annyeong Agassi, what can I help you with?"

The girl looked like she wanted to be swallowed by the ground.  "M-mianhaeyo, is yeoja available?"

Jihoo smiled kindly at the girl, "Deh, if you prefer."  Jihoo had SyeOh take his place.

It was about late afternoon when they were called for lunch.  The kids got very excited.  They were tired and not used to this kind of work in their sheltered lives.  Jihoo noticed they began to pack up their stations and send off their patients.  "Yah!"  Jihoo yelled to get their attention.  "A doctor doesn't leave while there are still patients!"  Most of the patients were more hungry than sick, but a few remained in line.  "If you're assigned to the ER, you may have to eat in between patients because you're so busy you can't stop."  Chastised, the kids got back to work.  They treated a staph infection, an infected bug bite, an ear infection, and a stomach parasite before stopping for lunch.

The Church team had brought with them food for more than a hundred people to share.  It was more than enough for one shared meal each day.  Jihoo brought simple provisioning’s for the team, much to the kids grumbling.  They were used to their five-star chef-prepared meals.  "Wait until you get to the military," he thought.

The entire team of ten split up to have lunch with groups of different families. Jihoo had finished eating and was about to excuse himself to text Pastor Victor and let him know they'd be back late.  He took out his phone just as one of the students, Hwa Chihun accidentally crashed into him, dropping the phone.  "Mianhamnida seonsangnim!"  The student quickly picked up the phone and gave it to Jihoo just before the backlight went dim.  "Is that seonsangnim yeoja chingu?"

 - "Seonsangnim, na want to see!"  Another student asked.

 - "Seonsangnim has yeoja chingu?"

 - "Deh!  Umma and Abeoji saw her at the Su-am Cultural Foundation annual gala.  She's a foreigner, deh seonsangnim?"

Four out of the five students were surrounding him.  "Yah!  Don't you have work to do?"  He scolded the students and they scampered back to the medical tent.  Jihoo smiled at the retreating backs.

 - "Uissanim is very much in love, Uissanim should see his smile."

Jihoo tried to compose his face and avoid being teased by the Church Ajumma.  "Ah Deh, Ajumma can let everyone know we are ready for more patients."

 - "Deh Uissanim, I'll spread the word."  She smiled widely at him before walking off.

Jihoo shook his head and went off towards the medical tents.  "Sarang, the things you get me into," he said to himself.  He'd have to document the day for her.  He knew she'd laugh at the student’s curiosity.  "Deh Sarang, since it wasn't you that was being teased."

He stepped back into the tent and checked on the little girl.  She was asleep and so was her mother.  It was probably the first time they'd slept in at least a week.  He stood and watched the child's breathing.  The treatment was helping.  He thanked God they had arrived on time.  A day later and the child could have lost her life.  He suddenly had a picture of Ilana in the hospital on the respirator and shivered.  It's been thirteen months since he found her unconscious and scarcely breathing on the hospital roof.  "Ilana-yah, sarang gwenchana?  Why do I feel worried all of a sudden?  Yesu, watch over her, juseyo?"

 - "Seonsangnim!  We need you over here!"  Hwa Chihun called and Jihoo was back in the present.  "Deh Yesu, she's under your care now."  Jihoo went off to see what was needed.

Los Angeles, CA

Ilana had returned from evening services, worn out.  She'd been feeling a little overtired for a few days.  It was true she was staying up late doing research for JungMin and then going to every activity at the Church, but that couldn't really be the reason?   The fact that she hadn't eaten and barely slept for two weeks didn't register.  And now the third week she was still too restless to eat or sleep.  Perhaps, she was just catching a cold.  She had been playing with some of the little ones at church during the week and might have caught a bug from them.  She did notice felt irritated, making her cough and she was winded from going up her stairs.

Since she had skipped dinner, Nana brought her a Juice to drink before she went to sleep.  It looked cold and Ilana realized she was very cold, as soon as the sun went down, the temperature dropped by twenty degrees.  How she ever survived in New York, she wondered.  "No gracias Nana, tengo frío, mejor me voy a dormir temprano (No thank you, Nana, I'm cold, I think I'll just go to sleep)."

 - "Niña, estás agotada (you're exhausted), primero los nervios y ahorra el trabajo (first by your nerves and now with work).   Necesitas un balance (You need a balance)."

 - "Ya sé, Nana, después (I know already, Nana, later)."  Ilana was already in the bathroom getting ready for bed, too tired to calmly wait for Nana's lecturing to be done.

Nana heard Ilana cough a few times, which made her worry.  "Niña te traigo un té caliente (should I bring you a hot tea)?"

Ilana stepped out of the bathroom, "no Nana, solo quiero dormir (I just want to sleep)."  Ilana drew out the 'ee' in sleep.

Nana could tell something was wrong.  Her charge's tone of voice was impatient bordering on desperation.  "Ahora te portas como niña malcriada (now you act like a spoiled brat)?"  She put a hand to Ilana's forehead, it was warm as she expected.

 - "Perdóname (Sorry) Nana," Ilana didn't mean to act like a brat, but she was exhausted.

 - "Ya, ya lo sé (Yes, yes I know).  Acuéstate ya (Now Go to sleep), que tienes poca calentura (you have a bit of a fever)."

Ilana didn't need to be told twice.  By the time Nana turned off the light and left the room, she was already sound asleep.

January 26, 2015

It was past noon when Nana realized Ilana hadn't been downstairs yet.  She had been so caught up in her Monday morning routine, she had forgotten.  She first checked the study to see if she was there.  When she wasn't there she knew that her charge was still upstairs and most likely too ill to come down.

Nana opened the curtains in Ilana's room.  Her charge was still sleeping.  Nana sat on the bed feeling her forehead.  The fever was much higher than the night before.  "Mi vida despierta (Wake up, my dear)."  Nana went into the bathroom and ran a washcloth under cool water.

Bringing the washcloth to Ilana's face, the cold compared to Ilana's hot face immediately began to rouse her.  "Nana?"  Ilana tried to sit up seeing how bright her room was but the action made her cough.  All she could do was lay back down but that made her cough as well.  "Qué hora es (What time is it)?"  She managed to choke out.

 - "Ya se pasó medio día (It’s past noon).  Ahorita regreso con un té caliente (I’ll be right back with a hot tea)."  Nana rose from the bed and left the room.

Ilana made a face; Nana's medicinal tea concoctions were disgusting.  "Oh no!"  Ilana realized she missed an important call from an architect.  She wanted to sign him on as a subcontractor for the company and therefore get their foot in the door in that part of the world.  She and JungMin had some questions for him after reviewing a few architectural manuscripts he had sent them.  Not that JungMin understood the terminology but he could read Hangul and that's all that mattered. It was all very strange how they had come to be in contact with him.  It turned out he was a distant relative to one of the employees.  She had casually mentioned it to JungMin who had mentioned it to Ilana who couldn't sleep an entire night thinking she was supposed to contact him.  Since reviewing the company's numbers and looking at what projects were in the works, she knew they were in the perfect position for growth again.  Of course, they'd have to start from scratch and build an architectural and construction team in the country, but if they have one architect that was enough for now.  Ilana tried to get up out of bed.  Nana had moved her phone and was no longer next to her bed.  She began to cough again and was shaking with cold.  Preferring the weight of blankets instead of overly warm pajamas, all she wore was a tank top and capris pajama pants.  Still shivering, she grabbed a bottle of water from her nightstand and began to guzzle it down to try and stop the incessant coughing.

Before she could even think about retrieving her robe from the bathroom, Nana would be in to force her back to bed.  Ilana would not have the energy to argue as long as Nana brought her the phone or laptop.