TV-14 - Not advisable for children under 14

August 21, 2014

Jihoo busied himself taking Ilana's vitals.  If Hani arrived before he updated her chart, he would be in trouble.  Her temperature was still in the mid-range, not low grade but at least not high grade either.  Although she hadn't woken up screaming during the night, Jihoo checked on her a few times and saw that she had tears in her eyes.  He refused to leave her alone and slept on a mattress on the floor.  She would have to trip over him if she tried to get up unattended.

It was time for her dose of the antiviral, Jihoo dabbed a cool damp cloth over Ilana's face to gently wake her up.  He hadn't the nerve to ask her anything yet about what transpired during her delirium.  He had left her alone only briefly after she woke, yesterday afternoon, and when he returned he found her fainted on the floor.  He was able to rouse her immediately once back on the bed and lightly scolded her.

 - "Ilana-yah, Na told you to stay put."  He had smiled tenderly at her and caressed her face.  "You're not well."

Jihoo smiled at the memory, he had fed her a little of the porridge.  She tried to resist but he treated her just like InHei and he managed to get her to eat a little.  He wasn't expecting much as her stomach was completely empty, not having anything to eat for about thirty-six hours.

Ilana opened her eyes wide, with surprise, to see Jihoo smiling down on her.   Again that new look in his eyes unsettled her, there was a new intensity in his gaze.

 - "Annyeong hasseyo, agassi, it’s time for your medicine."

 - "Shiro," she complained.  It made her queasy and very drowsy.  She had such little energy as it was.  That and she was wary of Jihoo at the moment.  She had wanted to know if anything happened while she was running a high fever.  When he left the room, she had tried running after him but the dizziness got to her and she fainted.  Later, when they were both quiet, she tried again.

- "Jihoo-yah, did...anything happen while my fever was very high?"

 - "Gwenchana, Ilana is not well."  He was looking at his laptop and not her.

 - "Anngwenchana!  What happened?!"

 - "Wae?  Was something supposed to happen?"

 - "A-anieyo, Na...sometimes...talk...in-my-sleep."

 - "Ara."

- "Ara?!"

 - "Deh."

 - "Deh?!”

Jihoo chuckled.  "Is Ilana-yah pretending to be a parrot?"

"Yoon Jihoo!  You're making fun of me!"  Ilana brought the heal of her hands to the sides of her forehead, where a headache was forming.

Jihoo took pity on her and got up from his laptop to sit on the side of the bed facing her.  Reaching for her hands, he placed them on her lap and then began to massage the sides of her head.  "Deh...Ilana told me she had a headache once and also something about KyuJong Uissa."

 - "Mwo?  When?"  She didn't know if Jihoo was massaging her head to distract her but she wanted answers and she was getting sleepy again.  "Hajima, Jihoo is trying to distract me."

 - "Deh, is it working?"

  "Anieyo!"  Ilana tried removing her head from his grasp but he held on tighter. "Ilana-yah, it was a long time ago, now relax.  Meoriapayo (Headache)?"

 - "Jeogumyo."

In the end, she had fallen asleep again and not woken until just now.  Ilana had spaced out and he was calling her.  "Ilana-yah," he waved his hand in front of her face.

 - "Oh, I'm still tired."

 - "Deh, you're not close to being well yet.  Take your medicine and you can have a little porridge.  You need to try and eat to regain your strength.  You have to fight this, arraso?"

 - "I don't need the medicine, I'll eat, I promise."  It wasn’t that she didn't trust Jihoo but taking anything still made her uneasy, especially since most medicines didn't agree with her stomach and this one made her very drowsy.

 - "Yah," he took her hands in his.  "What's wrong?  Do you want me to attach the IV again?"  He had been giving her electrolyte water to make sure she didn't get dehydrated again.

 - "A-anieyo!  It's...just, it makes me feel worse; Na don't want to sleep!  Why are Joy and I in your apartment still?  We can go home."

 - "Ilana-yah," he gave her his best smile.  "Remember, Na told Ilana not to move yesterday evening and you did and...?"

 - "I passed out."

 - "Deh...and you're still too weak to get up on your own, right?"  She only woke once in the night but he had to help her to the bathroom.  His room was sparsely furnished and there was nothing for her to hold onto for a few yards.

Ilana just nodded, she hated the fact that she couldn't even walk to the bathroom by herself.  The dizziness caught up with her each time.

 - "Deh," she moped, hating that he was right.  She knew he wasn't keeping her by force and she was very grateful but it just made her love him even more.  Her heart ached because she wanted someone better for him.  Someone whole.  Ilana felt tears in her eyes again.

 - "Mian," he saw the distressed look in her eyes and the tears threatening to fall.  "Ilana will be fine in a few days.  Na hope your cough stays the same and doesn't get any worse."  She had begun coughing slightly.  "Take your medicine and when Hani gets here she'll help you shower if you're up to it."  He had sent Hani to the mall last night to buy a few changes of pajamas and lounging clothes as well and any toiletries Ilana might need for a few days.

Ilana felt her face heat up.  She didn't even want to know how she'd gotten into the pajamas she was wearing.  Perhaps she would ask Hani when she arrived.

At the Kim residence, Isabel was feeling better except for the cough.  It was getting harder to keep her still or in bed.  Esther, having grandchildren of her own, set up the media room for Isabel with an array of Disney and DreamWorks movies.

 - "Esther, you didn't have to go out and buy her movies.  We have so many at home.  When Mr. Yoo brings Sylvia home from school they could have stopped to get them."

 - "Anieyo Abi-ssi, Kim Jaejoong-ssi would never hear otherwise.  Now, Na will bring Abi-ssi lunch and then I will clean the room for Abi-ssi and Isabel agassi."

 - "Esther, please, you don't have to do that!!  We're the ones staying there, we'll clean it up."  They had given Esther and Mr. Yoo extra work and Abigaíl didn't think it fair.

 - "Anieyo, there's not much to do, Abi-ssi has kept the room tidy.  Let me just clean your bathroom and change the linens."  Esther saw that Abigaíl was about to protest again. "Chinchayo, Abi-ssi, Jaejoong-ssi would prefer you take care of Isabel."

 - "Thank you, Esther."  Abigaíl didn't know how she would get used to Esther doing most of the work.  Isabel and Sylvia weren't complaining.

 - "Anieyo, na will be back with lunch."

Abigaíl turned to her daughter who was curled up in a chair under a Princess Anna blanket and Frozen pillow.  "Don't even think you're going to be spoiled like this when we go home."

Isabel dutifully coughed.  "Mama, sit with me."  She forced a cough again.

 - "Convenenciera (opportunistic/seeking self-interest)!"  Nevertheless, Abigaíl sat next to her daughter.  She didn't know Jaejoong had come home for lunch as a surprise to his girls and was watching with a grin on his face, just outside the door.

Jaejoong snuck in the media room and covered Abigail's eyes.  "Guess who?"

 - "Appa!"  Isabel forgot her cough long enough to launch herself around Jaejoong's neck.

While Jaejoong kissed Isabel's head, Abigaíl rolled her eyes.  "Jaejoong, really, you're spoiling her rotten.  She'll be a complete brat when we go home this weekend."

 - "Then don't," Jaejoong kissed his fiancé, who had come to stand next to him.

 - "Don't start," she playfully swatted him.

 - "Mama, can't we stay until Mama Nane and Papa Mío come back?"

 - "No, we need to go home after we take our pictures on Sunday."

 - "Appa won't let me go if I don’t feel good," Isabel coughed on cue.

Abigaíl saw Jaejoong trying hard not to laugh.  He was enjoying every minute of Isabel's cute protests.  She smacked him again, only harder.  "This answering back after I say no is not funny.  I warned you if she becomes a spoiled brat, you'll be the one to discipline her."

 - "Anieyo!  Yah, jagiya, let's not argue with Umma, she's been taking good care of you all week."  Jaejoong leaned into Isabel's ear and whispered.  "Sylvia and you have to think of something before Sunday to convince Umma."

 - "Arraso!"

 - "What are you two scheming?"  Abigaíl had turned to go help Esther bring in lunch and knew they were up to something and no good could come of it.

 - "Anieyo, Umma!"  They both shouted at once.

Abigaíl gave her daughter 'the let me get my slipper' look that sent her back under the blanket.  Her fiancé was not so easily frightened anymore and pulled Abigaíl in for a slow and delectable kiss.  She blushed brightly, while Isabel giggled.  Watching the two adults kissing had become a favorite hobby.  It was just like in her movies.  The Prince always kisses the Princess at the end.

 - "I-I'll go help Esther," Abigaíl practically ran out of the room, heart pounding from her fiancé’s kisses.

As long as Ilana wasn't alone, Jihoo could spend a few hours seeing patients.  Hani was a great help to him and he knew Ilana was safe with her around.  He just wished her fever would stay down.   It fluctuated throughout the night and even into the morning.  It was keeping her from having an appetite and giving her headaches, making her unable to rest.  He had given her a little juk for breakfast. And she only managed to take in a cup full.  Left to herself she only ate a few spoonfuls, but then he'd take the spoon and would continue to feed her until he was satisfied.  He would stop and pick up Sangmytang for dinner tonight; he hoped the protein and ginger combination would give her more energy to fight the virus.

An elderly patient had come in with flu symptoms, but it was already pneumonia.  Leaving the patient's room, SungRyung had approached him.

 - "Dr. Jihoo, how's Ilana?  Have you been taking care of her?"

 - "Deh, Noona, but mostly Hani.  Her fever continues to fluctuate but she's only developed a mild cough."  He noticed Uee and ShiYoon had stopped working and were eagerly listening to the news of their co-worker.

 - "Does Ilana need anything?  I'll bring it to her, perhaps a meal?"

 - "Anieyo gwenchanayo, I've had Hani taking care of everything for her.  Just pray the fever goes down.  She'll start to feel much better after that."  Jihoo did not miss exchange between Uee and ShiYoon, they were both grinning at each other.

 -  "Oh, tell her not to worry.  We want her well."  She turned to see Uee and ShiYoon chattering with one of the nurses.  "I know Uee and ShiYoon miss both Abigaíl and Ilana,” SungRyung spoke a little louder, as she knew what the trio was gossiping about.  Jihoo and Ilana would come together when it was God's time, not theirs.  She sensed things were moving slowly for a reason but she couldn't help be excited about it.  Her two staff members looked chastised and scurried back to their desks.

Ilana felt a slight reprieve after showering but it didn't last long.

 - "Ilana-yah, na think it's time for you to lay down again.  You’re looking like you’ll fall asleep at any moment and you’ve lost some of the color you had earlier."  Hani had agreed to let Ilana sit out on the balcony for a little while.  The sun had felt so good; her fever went up and down all day, making her constantly cold.

 - "Deh, you're right."  Her head was starting to hurt.  Standing up was always a challenge as black dots insisted on invading her line of vision.  With Hani's help, they made it back to the room.

 - "There, I'll bring you some more of the electrolyte water.  Can I heat you up anything to eat?"

 -  "Anieyo, I've got a headache again.  The water will do."

 - "Ilana-yah, I'll bring you an Asian pear with honey, arraso?"  Hani didn't wait for an answer.  She knew sometimes something sweet opened a non-existing appetite.  Ilana's headaches and dizziness were largely due to the fact that she hadn't eaten.

While Hani stepped out, Joy stepped in.  Ilana usually brushed her daily, but now it was three days since her last brushing and she was leaving black hair all over Jihoo's pristine white furniture.  "Joy-ah, you're going to be in trouble with Ajussi for leaving your hair everywhere."  The cat burrowed under the blanket.

 - "Na don't think Uissa will mind too much," Hani handed Ilana a glass and set the bed tray on her lap, displacing Joy.  "Jihoo Uissa made sure to bring the cat over for you.  He must have anticipated you staying a few days."

 - "Yes, Jihoo is always very good to me."  Ilana picked at the pear.  wasn't very irritated but it was still soothing.  Her taste buds were starting to return to normal and things didn't taste like metal anymore.

Hani sat in a chair, also eating a pear.  She watched Ilana's face and it had kind of a sad smile.  She wondered if Ilana could see that Dr. Jihoo had feelings for her.  She giggled to herself all of a sudden.  "Nampyon said Jihoo Uissa barged into the ER, carrying you and yelled for a bed.  Does Ilana remember that?"

 - "Jeongmal?  Andwae!"  She vaguely remembered being carried; though, by that time she hadn't any strength left with which to protest.

 - "Na told Ilana once before Jihoo Uissa would be lost without you."  At the time Hani was really only talking about work.

Ilana smiled at Hani.  "Deh and na told you I don't give myself such airs."

 - "Wae?  Ilana should.  You two are cute together."

 - "Na have forgotten Korean's favorite past time."  Ilana massaged her head, trying to alleviate her headache.  "Gomawo, for staying with me.  Did...you bring the pajamas from home?"

 - "Anieyo, neaga still getting paid and Ilana is far less work than the hospital.  Na brought the pajamas Ilana was wearing.  Na had to change you after Uissa soaked you in the tub, dress and all.  Mianhae, I dropped it off at the dry cleaners downstairs."

 - "Gwenchana," Ilana breathed a sigh of relief.

 - "Hajiman Jihoo Uissa sent me to buy you a few more pajamas and comfortable clothes for when you start to feel better.  And toiletries too; did you like the Japanese Cherry Blossom body wash."

 - "Deh, Hani, thank you for doing that."  Ilana sipped some more water, suddenly feeling exhausted.  All Jihoo did for her, it was impossible for her not to love him and yet she couldn't.

 - "Ooh, Ilana-yah, you've lost what little color you had left, all of a sudden.  Get some rest before Uissa comes back or we're both in trouble."

 - "Deh, na think I'm going to take a nap."  Hani moved the tray and Joy settled in the crook of her Umma's arm.

Jihoo sat in his office updating a few files before he left.  He was anxious to stop off and get samgyetang for Ilana.  He needed to get more food into her and might as well sneak in something that will energize her as well.  He smiled as he remembered the staff on the floor.  Perhaps it was getting noticeable that he cared for Ilana more than just an admin or friend.  "Eottoke?  How do I reach her without scarring her further?"  Again this bothered him.

...It's not by force, nor by strength, but by my spirit...

And that was what he kept forgetting; he had to be an instrument just like his stethoscope.  He was trying to too hard when all he had to do was let God lead.  Jihoo finished his data entry and left his office.  Once in the car, he selected a classical CD from the changer to ease his mind.

Ilana was hiding from someone again.  She really wanted that person to find her but knew she shouldn't be seen.  She remained hidden for what seemed like forever until someone came to her and grabbed her.  This wasn't the person she was hiding from.  Trying to run away was of no use, he had a death grip on her.  Off in the distance, she saw the one she had hidden from.  He looked worried and tried to shout for him but her attacker held .

 - "Hani-ssi!"  Jihoo called when he arrived.  Leaving the soup in the kitchen and washing his hands, he walked into his room.

 - "Mianhamnida, Uissa, Na was just updating her chart.  Her fever spiked all of a sudden.  She's been calling for you."

 - "Chinchayo?"  He saw the tear stains on her face and sat on the bed.  Cupping her face with his hand, he rubbed a tear from her face.

 - "Jihoo-yah..."  Ilana mumbled in her sleep.

 - "How long has she been like this?"

 - "Only for fifteen or twenty minutes at the most.  When Na heard Ilana calling you, I realized her temperature had gone up again."

 - "Help...me..."  Again Ilana cried out in her sleep.

 - "Hani-ssi, have samgyetang before you go, juseyo.  Naega here, I can take care of Ilana."

Hani smiled, she could tell how much Dr. Jihoo cared for Ilana.  He had taken her hand out from under the blanket and was rubbing it between his.  "The anemia makes her cold, deh?  We sat in the sun for a little while, until she was too tired."

 - "Deh, Ilana hasn't recovered half her strength.  Na hope she can eat the samgyetang."

 - "Deh, Ilana will for Jihoo Uissa.  Na will get going if I'm not needed.  Uissa can call me if you need assistance later."

 - "Kansamnida, Hani-ssi, I will."

 - "Na will see myself out, annyeonghi kyeseyo."  Hani bowed to Jihoo before he could get up.  She saw his concern for Ilana who was still mumbling in her sleep.

Jihoo looked at the chart to see where Ilana's temperature was at.  It had gone up almost an entire degree from the morning.  Rising briefly, he walked into his bathroom to moisten a washcloth.

Ilana could no longer see Jihoo.  As long as she could see him, she knew she would be okay.  But she felt like she was going further and further away.  "Jihoo-yah..."

"Jihoo-yah..."

Jihoo heard Ilana calling him when he stepped back into the room.  She had tears coming down her face and she was shivering. "Jihoo-yah..."

 - "Yah..." Jihoo said softly as he dabbed at her face with a towel.  "Yah, gwenchana, I'm here."  He passed the cloth a few times over her face until her eyes began to flutter.  "Majayo (that's right), open your eyes.  I'm right here."

 - "Ji-hoo?"

She looked so lost; it hurt him to see her like this.  "Deh, I'm right here."  He lifted her gently and wrapped her in his arms and pulled her tight so she could feel his heart beating under her.  She still shook slightly under him.  "Yah, gwenchana neh sarang."

Ilana thought she was still in her dream, had he just called her his love?  "Na could-couldn't see you.  Why...why is it so cold here?  H-hold me a little longer, d-don't let go, juseyo?"

 - "Anieyo, I'm never letting go, arraso?"  He kissed her temple and continued rubbing her back, infusing her with his warmth.

The familiar feel of his warm kiss made her realize she wasn't dreaming.  Pulling away suddenly, she looked at him in surprise.  "Ji-Jihoo-yah?"

 - "Deh, gwenchana?"  He looked directly into her eyes and made her tremble.  That intensity?  Had it always been there?  The care, the warmth, the tenderness?  "Ilana-yah, don't suffer alone, tell me what's wrong?"

 - "N-nothing's wrong, I-I had a nightmare."

 - "What about?"

 - "I-I couldn't..."

Jihoo pulled her against him again.  If she couldn't see his face, perhaps she would tell him about the dream.  "Gwenchana, I'm here for you, tell me."

Ilana's defenses were buckling; Jihoo's heart was beating as fast as hers.  "I just couldn't see you, Na neun paboya."

 - "Paboga anieyo (not dumb).  Annchoah (don't like) when Na can't see Ilana."

Ilana couldn't help it; tears were falling down her face.  Why was he saying these things to her?  She was so confused and yet she couldn't pull away.  What if she couldn't see him anymore, what then?

Jihoo felt the tremors running through her.  Why was she crying?  She said she couldn't see him in the dream and yet she's away and he was here.  "Yah, what's wrong?"  He pulled her away to place both hands on her face.

 - "Mollah?  Chincha, I just can't stop crying.  Na think my head hurts again."  Ilana tried bringing her fingertips the side of her head but Jihoo stopped her.

He arranged the pillows behind her and then leaned her back.  "Ilana-yah needs to eat.  Na brought samgyetang, this time stay put, juseyo?  I'll be right back."

Jihoo left a very confused Ilana.  He called her 'his love'!  It wasn’t the first time she's heard him say it and that look in his eyes?  What did it mean?  Why were she and Joy still in his apartment?  Most of all, she wanted to know what she said or did when her fever was high?

When Jihoo came back, he found Ilana in the same position he left her in, thankfully.  "Arraso, Na want you to try and finish all of this."  He positioned the bed tray and handed Ilana the spoon.

 - "Jihoo-yah, what about you?"  He was settling down to watch Ilana eat but wasn't eating yet himself.

 - "Na will eat later.  Right now, na want to see you eat."

 - "Hajiman..."

It took a lot of coaxing on his part but he finally got Ilana to finish most of the bowl. "Ugh, Jihoo-yah, I'm so stuffed, wae did you make me eat so much?"

He smiled at her.  "Ilana needs to get her strength back."  He removed Joy from Ilana's robe lying at the foot of the bed.  "Mianhae, Umma needs her robe."

 - "Jihoo?"  He was already pulling back the blanket and putting the slippers on her feet.

 - "Kaja," he said, draping the robe over her.  He held her by the waist and led her to the same leather chair from the first night. "I'll be right back, don't move."

 - "Jihoo-yah, what are you up to?"

A minute later he was back, violin in hand.  "There's no comfortable place to sit in my office and music room.  Ilana wanted me to save this piece for summer nights.  It's almost night time and it's summer."  Jihoo began to play his own composition.  He played it to convey all his emotions, he was happy to have Ilana here with him.  He loved her.  He was hurt and in pain over her suffering and sorrow.  Ilana was hearing and feeling his emotions over and over again.  The music went from allegro (lively) to Rubato (free-flowing) to Mosso (agitated).  Although she'd heard him play the piece a few times before, he'd never played it quite like this.  It was like he was playing to the sound of her heart.  He made her so happy and she loved him so much but the pain from her past meant that she could never give in to those feelings.  That hurt; it hurt like losing her parents did, it hurt like being betrayed.  It just hurt.  By the songs finished Ilana sobbed silently.  She felt exposed as if her heart lay open for him to see.  She crossed her arm in front of her chest as if she could block him from seeing into her heart.

Jihoo too had tears streaming down his face by the end.  He opened his eyes to see her in the same state of emotions.  Putting the violin down, he went to her.  The chair was wide enough for them to sit together, although uncomfortably, Jihoo pulled her onto his lap.  He wanted to hold her closely, wrap her tightly in his arms.  "Sarang, nah Sarang," he smoothed her hair as he tried to calm her down.  "Did Ilana feel my heart?"

Ilana nodded her head against his chest.  "Jihoo-yah..." she had to understand.  There had to be a logical explanation to everything.  "wae...do...you call me...that?"

 - "Sarang, look at me?"  Ilana shook her head.  She didn't want to look.  This wasn't supposed to happen.  This was supposed to be a one-sided love.  "Sarang," he pulled her away from him and tilted her head to look at him.  He was giving her that same look he'd given her since the other day.  She'd lost track of how many days she'd been in his apartment.  "Neh Sarang, that's who Ilana is to me."

Ilana shook her head, trying to ignore his words.  He didn't let go but cupped her face in his palm.  Her eyes landed on the scratch on his hand.  She took his hand, her heart continued beating loudly.  "Jihoo-yah, where...how...did you get that scratch?"

Tenderly, he smiled at her and smoothed her worried brow.  He tried to tell her with his eyes that everything was going to be fine if she just trusted him.  Jihoo thought she must know what happens to her with a high fever and was worried over what she could have said or done.  "Gwenchana," he assured.

 - "Anngwenchana!"  She cried again.  "Did I...do that?"  She ran a finger gently on the scratch.  It wasn't any deeper than a cat scratch but it wasn't a cat.  She had hurt him.

 - "Ilana-yah," he removed his hand from hers and placed it on her neck, where his fingers could gently massage the base of her head and his thumb her cheek and jawline.  "Gwenchana, Ilana wasn't herself.  You were very ill."  She was completely horrified and all he could do was try to reassure her.  He kissed her tears as if that alone would make them stop, even if he knew they it wouldn't.  She was shaking and her breathing erratic as she shook her head.

 - "Anngwenchana!"  She tore away from him again and yelled.  "It's not okay!"  Pressing her hands to her head, she tried to regain her composure.  "It's not okay, why can't you see that?"  She turned away and fled to the patio window, staring out with her arms crossed in front of her trying to keep him out.

He let her be for a few seconds, while he geared himself for battle.  After a silent prayer for guidance, he went after her.  He didn't turn her to face him, just wrapped his arms around her from behind, taking her balled hands in his.  She was trembling in her anxiousness.  "Yah...yah..."  He tried to bolster her with his strength.  "Sarang...hajima...you're hurting yourself and you hurt me worse than a little scratch.  Don't hide from me, juseyo?"

He kissed the top of her head and she gasped at his words.  That's what she was doing in those dreams, hiding from him.  "Deh...Deh, I've been trying to hide.  Jihoo-yah, it's not supposed to be this way." Ilana sagged against him, she was so tired; so tired of running and hiding.  What was she supposed to do?

Jihoo pulled her to the couch and leaned her against his chest with his free hand.  "Neh sarang, eottoke?  How can I not love the one who answers my heart so perfectly?"

 - "Anieyo, you can't love me."  She was not fighting him but the tears continued to fall and again he let them, as his were falling also.

 - "Yah, Ilana-yah is trying to tell me what Na can or cannot do?"  He chuckled a little nervously.

 - "Hajima..."  She looked up briefly.  "Jihoo doesn't even know me, jwosongmnida; I've lied to you so many times.  Jwosongmnida!"

 - "Yah, does Ilana think I've told you everything about myself?  Don't you know we're the same you and I?  We both came to New York to hide, not really to start over.   Gwenchana, saranghaeyo, even your secrets."  He could feel her shaking her head against him trying to deny their feelings.  "We don't have to hide anymore, we found each other."

 - "Wh-what happened that night I had the high fever?  I-I don't even know how many days I've been here."  Realization dawned on her and she looked up even more startled than before.  "Jihoo!  You're supposed to be in Seoul!"

 - "Nah don't want Ilana to worry about me.  You needed me more than they did in Seoul.  Jeongmal!"  He reached out and wiped her tears finally.  "Ilana doesn't have to lie to me anymore; you don't have to keep secrets from me.  You can start telling me everything.  Together, we can unburden ourselves, the pain can go away; we can do that for each other.  Nal Saranghae (Do you love me)?"

 - "Jihoo-ah!  What Na want or feel is not important!  Don't you see?  I’m not good enough for you!  Harabeoji...your friends, they will never approve!  We can't give in to this!  It won't work, jaebal!"

He still had his arm around her waist and she unknowingly was gripping his upper arm, tightly.  He didn't care.  The goal was to keep her talking.  "Na believe Ilana just answered my question.  What everyone else thinks doesn't matter; they know how long I've waited for you.  And it's too late, they already love you, don't you know?  WooBin and JaeKyung and the others have been trying to get us together since they met you.  Ilana's been stubborn, na do."

Ilana was shaking her head again.  How could she have let this happen, she got too close, too comfortable, too blinded by her own feelings.  Now it was too late, she would lose it all.  "Jihoo-yah, they like me because they don't know me.  I've lied to you, I'm crazy, really!  I'm not right...," she said softly.

 - "Ilana-yah is no more micheousso than I am.  You've bought your own lies and you make yourself sick."

 - "It's true!  Why won't you believe me?!"  She had her hands balled and in her lips.  Finally, with a bleak look on her face, she spoke.  "Fine!  The number one reason, this won't work..."

He selfishly put a hand to and shook his head.  "You don't have to say it, jeongmal!  Gwenchana, you don't have to say it."  He heard the pleading in his own voice.  This wasn't helping her but the pain in her face and the pain in his heart was so intense. Jihoo's heart ached for her; she had so little regard for her own self-worth or desirability.  She not only fed herself lies all these years but those people who hurt her probably did too and her cousin, a Doctor, who is supposed to do no harm, continued those lies.

She threw his hand away in despair.  "I'm not...clean!"  She had to get it out if it killed her.  "I'm not...no longer...a !"  Sobbing, she fled and locked herself in the guest bathroom.

Jihoo sat, tears falling from his own eyes, he would've wanted to spare her from telling him, but she had to and she wasn't done yet.  He couldn't let her off until she recounted to him every horrid and painfully awful detail.

Ilana was throwing up again.  He could hear the retching, in between sobs.  In today's society, her last statement might be laughable.  After all how many women didn't save themselves for marriage.  Many of his friends could give him numbers.  Even he wasn't perfect, he'd let himself get drunk enough a time or two to numb his mind with the body of a willing woman.  He wished it was just that she got drunk and had an embarrassing one night stand but he knew the real story.  He left her for a few minutes before unlocking the bathroom, ready to fix the damage.

Ilana was still on the floor, dry heaving into the toilet and shaking violently.  Picking her up gently, he walked her to the sink and cupped water in his hand splashing her face.  He dried her face and then poured her a little bit of mouthwash, bringing it to .  She went through the motions, too shaken to do otherwise.  She wouldn't look at him, she was in a daze.  He scooped her into his arms, she tried to protest, but he wouldn't let go.  Placing her back on the bed, he removed her robe and tucked her back under the blankets.  She still wouldn't look at him, which was fine for now.  He knew she couldn't avoid him forever.  Just to be safe he checked her temperature and pulse, she was shivering uncontrollably from her emotional stress.  "Yah, try to calm down, breathe.  Na won't leave your side, so don't even think it."  Her temperature had lowered only slightly and her pulse was out of control again.  Jihoo massaged her hands, trying to get her to calm down.  The tears still flowed, she wasn't responding to him.  If she wouldn't come to him, he'd go to her.  Climbing on the bed next to her, he pulled her to his chest.  He wanted her to feel his heart beating...breaking...bleeding...for her.

 - "Anieyo, just let me go," she protested.

 - "Anieyo, we're going to get through this together.  Na won't let you leave until you tell me everything."

 - "Yoon Jihoo!  Why are you trying to torture me?  You?"

 - "Deh, Ilana is torturing us.  Tell me, give me your pain.  Na can take it, I'm bigger than you."

 - "Andwae!!  You know our hearts are the same size, yours is all full and it can't take anymore."

 - "Ilana-yah, you made room in my heart for your pain.  You took my grief for yourself when we were at my home in Seoul, leaving me with very little.  I didn't know that until the other day.  No wonder I've felt so much lighter."

She didn't know what he meant but continued shaking her head.  "Jihoo-yah, anieyo!"

 - "Shh, start from the beginning."  He shifted her slightly and took her hand and placed it over his heart.  "Do you feel my heart beating strongly?  If there wasn't enough room, you wouldn't be able to feel it."  Ilana gave him an exasperated look, making him smile.  Not that he felt like smiling but he wanted to encourage her, keep her calm.  "I’m not going anywhere, so start talking."  He felt himself drawing strength that could only come from God.  Left to himself, he would easily just crumble, like her, under this huge burden.

Ilana still shook her head, "shiro, let's…let's end-end this now, before I-I hu-rt you with-with words instead of my nails."

Jihoo still had one hand caressing her back and the other trapping her hand on his chest.  Sighing, he decided he'd have to tell her he knew some of it.  "Ilana-yah," he let go of her hand to lift her face so she could see him.  "Deh, look at me."  Those wary eyes haunted him.  He longed to see her smile but there was a time for everything and right now, he'd have to see her tears.  "I am a Doctor, first and I served as a Navy Doctor with the Marine Corp.  I've seen things and also I've read your medical history."

Ilana sat up as if electrocuted.  "What?  How?  When?  Juan Carlos sent it to you?"

She was getting agitated again.  He brought her back down to his shoulder and weaved his fingers through hers.  "Ara some of it but Ilana needs to tell me herself.  Start from the beginning, what happened when you were eleven or did it start sooner than that?  Gwenchana, no one can hurt you any more than you're hurting yourself.  Do you like living in pain?  Having that cold and crippling fear when something reminds you of the past?  Don't live listening to the murmuring lies in your head, there's only one voice you should be listening too, He won't lie to you."  Of course, Jihoo was talking about God but she thought he referred to himself."

 - "Ara; ara!!"

 - "If Ilana knows, than wae aren't you doing it?" His voice was stern but it had to be.

It was like being on the ship and telling KyuJong and YoungSaeng again.  Back then, she really didn't have much to lose.  This time she would lose her friend and the one she loved.  "Na...Was ten in New York for a children's Christmas show at Carnegie Hall.  Appa is...was...the chairman of a company he built.  He...had last minute business to attend to in California, so...Umma and he wouldn't arrive until the show's start."  She hadn't mentioned why she was alone but Jihoo assumed her Nana was with her.  "Na didn't know they never...made it until halfway through.  Na continued with the show.  Na didn't know...what to do?  My body, my mouth acted on its own, my brain was dead, my heart stopped.  Na died with them!!  I prayed to die!!  But God didn't hear me!  He doesn't hear me!"  Jihoo felt her grip his hand.  A tear ran down his eye as they also ran down hers.

 - "Mollah, I know God does things for a reason.  His reasons are beyond our understanding.  SeungRyung likes to say, don't mistake 'no' for 'I don't love you'."  He felt how tense he was himself.  He was holding her extremely tight and hadn't realized it.  "Mianhae, am I hurting you?"  He asked as his grip on her slackened.

Ilana closed her eyes, squeezing the tears out.  She shook her head ‘no’; actually, the tight hold was what was keeping her in reality and not in her nightmares.

 - "Keep going...get it out, it's poisoning your body."

 - "Shiro, I can't!"

 - "Ilana-yah, ara, it gets worse.  Ara, tell me."  Not that he wanted to hear it but she had to tell it.  "Tell me, don't give those demons any more power and release it.  What happened after?"

Shaking her head and clinging tightly to Jihoo, who was rubbing small circles on her back, she began again.  "I didn't know what to do; Na was as good as dead.  Everything that I loved, that brought me joy, was now dead.  I was once a happy and loved child.  Laughter and music filled my home and now everything was silent.  Had I not been in New York, nothing would have happened.  Do you see?"

 - "Deh, I see.  Ilana doesn't know how well I see."  He said silently.  Jihoo knew entirely too well.  He'd lived with the same regret for fifteen years.

 - "I returned to California but I refused to live.  I didn't go to the funeral; I still haven't gone to my parent's grave.  I was ten, but I knew my own mind.  Umma and Appa never treated me like a baby.  They would talk to me about a lot of things and often brought me in when they needed to make decisions.  I made Nana and my private instructor go with me to Puerto Rico, I was so afraid they would take me away from my home.  I decided to leave first.  When I wasn't studying, I was hiding in a secret room in the house.  Nana didn't know where it was and I'd spend hours not eating or even sleeping. That's when I started to get migraines but I kept pushing myself.  If God wouldn't take me with my parents, then I had to keep busy until he did or killed myself.  One or the other."

Jihoo shivered.  How easily that could've been him.  Again, belatedly, he thanked God for those around him.  "Sarang, go on," again he kissed her temples.  Her eyes still shined with tears but she had left him.  She was in the world of her nightmares.  It was as comfortable as it was frightening.  It was what she knew.  She wore an unwavering gaze as she spoke.

 - "For almost a year, I studied around the clock, Nana couldn't say anything.  She just made me eat, even if it was a little.  The entire day I still wouldn't consume enough to probably count as one meal.  I guess...you can say, I ate just enough to keep me alive.  But I...missed home, Puerto Rico was nice and I'm sure it held fond memories but the more I didn't have my parents, the more I blocked out.  The good and the bad."  She took a chance and looked at Jihoo, who smiled sadly at her, with tears just b on the surface of his eyes.  "It was Jihoo that made me remember all the good things."  Tears spilled over once more.  "And it's Jihoo who's making me relive the horrible ones."

 - "Ara," he said gently, "keep going."  He wanted to tell her 'gwenchana, don't tell me more.  Keep it buried', but he couldn't.  She had to recount every detail, even if it killed them both.

 - "It was almost a year after God took them away.  Nana had gone out on some errands.  I...was alone in the house.  I saw that as my chance...to-to end things.  I had sleeping pills that were prescribed to me in Puerto Rico since more often than not I couldn't sleep.  The nightmares haunted me.  I could see the plane falling, hear their cries.  I never wanted to close my eyes.  Those dreams never left me, whenever I’m sick or upset they come back, just to remind me."

Jihoo's heart was straining against his chest; he placed her hand back on his chest.  He wanted her to know he was still alive and so was she.  Despite thinking they wouldn't survive a day, they did.   "Naega still here, Ilana can't scare me away.  Gwenchana, keep going."

She was already exhausted; she felt dry from all the talking.  "Yes, he's still here, for how much longer?" She thought.  "I don't...remember...everything; Kike said the sitting room was a mess.  I had been yelling and throwing things.  He was the first to walk through the door and curiosity led him to the fray.  My guardians, actually my Godparents managed a boy group in Puerto Rico.  I didn't know they were my guardians.  They were on tour and I don't know why it took them so long to finally come.  There was some miscommunication and of course, I wanted nothing to do with my parent's death.  The lawyers took care of everything and Nana.  So when Kike first saw me, I was taking the sleeping pills.  He knocked what was left out of my hand and struck me hard on the back so in surprise I spit everything out.  That was the last I remembered.  When I woke I was in the hospital and I met my cousin again for the first time in years.  They too...wouldn't let me die.  It would have been so much easier for everyone.  Why?  Why?"

 - "Gwenchana, gwenchana," he held her while she shook from the emotion.  He'd pushed her hard and they still weren't done.  "Anieyo, it wouldn't have been easier on everyone.  Na wouldn't have met you."  He ruffled her hair in response to her 'you still don't get it' look.  "Rest for a little while, you did well.  Neh sarang, ara it was hard and there's still more to come.  But you did well.  Naega proud of you, I'll get you tea to soothe your throat and then it's my turn."  Ilana turned to him with a questioning gaze, to which he only smiled.

Returning with tea in hand, he looked at Ilana.  She was shell-shocked.  He handed her the tea but her hands shook too much to hold it.  "Arraso, Na will help you drink and I'll be distracted from my own story.  "Harabeoji was president.  Abeoji and Umma wanted to heal people with the arts."  His voice shook slightly but took a deep breath to compose himself before going on.  "Mullah, Na don't know what went through my four-year-old mind."  He swallowed and gave Ilana a drink of tea before continuing.  "Abeoji was driving; Na was in the back seat, messing around..."

Ilana woke from her own comatose condition to hear him draw a shaky breath.  She took the cup from him and put it on the nightstand and took both his hands in hers.  "Anieyo, you don't have to tell me anything, chincha!"  The sight of him struggling with his memories, re-opening healed wounds just for her, made a searing pain go through her heart.  "Jihoo-yah!  Gwenchana, juseyo!  Na don't want to see you like this!"

 - "Now Ilana knows how I feel when you are hurting.  Na, don't want you to hurt anymore and if I have to bleed a little to stop your bleeding, so be it."

 - "Anieyo, hajima!  Forget it!"  She pleaded.  "It's too much, it's not worth it!"

 - "Ilana is worth it.  If my pain lessens yours then magnify my pain to a 10.  If my tears take from yours then let them fill a swimming pool."

Ilana was shaking her head and tried to cover his mouth.  He took her hand away, "let me finish."  He saw her worry, her fear for him.  Her eyes mirrored all that was in his heart.  "Na was messing around...and..."  Jihoo closed his eyes for a second and took a breath.  Ilana was biting her lip, sensing that whatever he was going to say would cause some sort of breaking in her heart.  "Na covered Abeoji's eyes while he was driving..."  Ilana's hands flew to , the pain in her chest was unbearable but she couldn't let it consume her.  She reached a trembling hand to his face and wiped away the tears.  "If they hadn't held onto me, na would have lost my life too.  They said it was a miracle I survived.  Harabeoji...abandoned me after that.  He never...returned to the house.  If not for JanDi fifteen years later, we'd still be estranged."

Ilana was holding his hand for dear life; this connection was the only thing keeping them from sinking into a well of grief.  "No more, Jihoo, no more.  Wae!  Wae do this to yourself?!  I'm used to it!  You've moved on!  You're successful!  Don't go backward for me!"

Jihoo ignored her and continued.  "Na...became autistic.  I withdrew from everyone.  If it weren't for the F4 and SeoHyeong, Na wouldn't have survived.  SeoHyeong took my hand and told me it was time to start over.  She gave me Rui as a companion.  Na could talk to Rui, tell him anything and not be judged for it.  Or I could just brush him or ride him without saying a word and that was okay too.  He didn't expect anything from me.  I had Rui while the others had their expensive cars.  But Na couldn't even get behind the wheel without starting to shake and perspire.  It took some stupid contest JunPyo forced me to participate in to get me to drive.  What an airplane does to Ilana, getting behind the wheel of a car was the same for me.  I also had my music.  What I couldn't express with words, I could express through music."

Ilana shook seeing the tears pouring freely down his face, even if he tried to smile.  She knew it hurt him to bring up the past.  Again, she was in his debt, he bared himself for her.  "Pabo," she wanted to hold him and tell him it was done, it was all in the past but there was one thing, she couldn't overcome no matter what.  Jihoo clasped the hand that had reached out to touch his face.  He tried to smile; he didn't realize how much it still hurt.  He could deal with it now.  He loved Harabeoji and that was all behind him but when he thought of that four-year-old boy and that ten-year-old girl, it ripped him apart.  Both having to face the world alone but the F4 were all orphans in their own way as well.  They had banded together, for better or for worse.  He briefly wondered if he should let her rest.  The hand he held was cold; the rest of her was not.  He made a decision and leaned forward to wrap her in his arms.  "Do you hate me?"

 - "Mullon aniji (of course not)!”

 - "Choah, I hated myself for a long time.  Rest for a little while, we'll continue when you stop shaking."  He alternated between her hair and her back.  "Gwenchana, you have me now.  We have each other.  Nothing can change that but this isn't over, arraso?  We still have secrets to tell."

 - "Have-Haven't...you-you had...enough?"  She sobbed.

 - "Anieyo, na have room for more.  As I take, you take too, so you see we're just exchanging what we have.  Not really adding more."

They sat there for what seemed like an eternity.  He couldn't continue with her like that.  He needed to her to calm down or she'd have another tachycardia attack.  He was sure her blood pressure was high from the anxiety but he knew however long it took, it had to end tonight.  They were only halfway through.  He had to make her finish.  If he didn't it would haunt her all night.  That's what he wanted to take from her, all those haunting dreams, all the years of repression, of locking it inside.

Jihoo held onto her for a good thirty minutes or more.  He felt her heart beating steady.  It was getting late, he knew she was drowsy but he couldn't stop, he had a patient to save.  Neither Doctor nor patient could quit, both had to keep going.  "Sarang...let's continue, deh?"

 - "Shiro," she complained.  "I can't, I'm done!"

 - "Na didn't know, how we would face this challenge but I kept asking and praying for strength and Jesus reminded me, it's his strength, not mine.  So you see, I can have strength enough for both of us."

 - "Na don't have that strength."  She was too tired to continue arguing.  She could die at the moment, just so she didn't have to continue.  So she didn't have to disappoint and hurt him.

 - "Gwenchana, Na have an Idea."  Jihoo got on the bed, next to Ilana, leaning his back against the headboard.  He pulled Ilana to sit close to him and leaned her back against his chest and held her hands over her midsection.  "Arraso, just talk and I'll listen.  You can feel my heart supporting you, loving you, taking the pain from you."

Ilana still hesitated.

 - "Ara, this is the hardest part.  It will be for me too but I can take it, chincha.  Tell me what happened...when you were sixteen?"

 - "You don't want to know."

 - "I know some of it, does Ilana want me to tell her what I know."

Ilana shook her head; that would be a hundred times worse.

 - "Whatever happened, they can't hurt you anymore.  It's time to let go.  Inhale," he commanded.  "Exhale," he said once she responded.  "Again, but on exhale start talking."

Jihoo made it sound so easy; she wondered if he realized how much he would be affected.  It had to be different to see facts on a piece of paper rather than hearing an account first hand.  She wanted to move her hands but he held them firmly in his.  He kissed the top of her head and she exhaled.  Having forgotten she had inhaled.  She could feel the tears falling already and she hadn't even begun.  He gave her a gentle squeeze.

 - "Sarang..."  He called her.

 - "Fine," she sniffed.  "You asked for it.  I...never got along with my guardians, they never tried and neither did I.  Plus they were always busy with the group.  I saw them for maybe three months out of the year.  I refused to travel with them, preferring to stay and study.  I was already starting my last year of high school.  Kike was the only one of the guys who paid any attention to me.  I think he thought I would try and...and harm myself again.  I never did, not that I didn't want to."

Jihoo let go a hand long enough to her hair.  He hoped she would feel his support and love through all this.

Taking another deep breath, she continued.  "Everyone was gone the summer of my sixteenth birthday.  Hermila, my foster Mother, suggested Nana take me to the beach for the summer.  We own some condos on the beach and since it was early in the season, they weren't all occupied.  I actually enjoyed it.  I would rise early and take my books with me to the sand and listen to the waves.  It was the same at night.  I didn't wander far and it is a residential beach, so Nana didn't worry.  There was always a group of young people surfing.  They were pretty good, but for the most part, I was just interested in my books.  Until some of the girls started talking to me.  Soon I found out they were a little older than me.  So I began a dangerous game of pretending.  They were boisterous, always happy and laughing, the complete opposite of me.  They invited me to a club, told me not to worry; they'd get me a fake ID.  I didn't want to go but they insisted.  I was completely sheltered from life.  I didn't know about peer pressure.  They introduced me to a friend of theirs and that's the last I saw of them for the night.  The guy was all flattery...intelligent.  We could discuss English literature, my favorite.  He claimed to be studying to become a teacher.  Once he got me comfortable talking to him, he ordered me a drink.  I'd had wine and champagne before, so I didn't think it was a big deal.  But they...caught up to me quick.  Before...I knew it, we were...in his car, kissing and he caressed me places, he shouldn't have.  He said he liked me, wanted us to get to know each other.  Each time I saw him things got more advanced.  But my mind was too numb with alcohol or whatever else he put in the drink to respond.  At first, it was fun but usually by the time I got home, I couldn't really remember what happened.  I remember it didn't matter where we were or with whom, he'd always kiss and touch me places.  He'd systematically tear down my defenses, getting a little bolder each time.  Then the group went on someone's yacht.  I'm sure it was like JaeKyung's..."  She heard him give an inward hiss before he hugged her tighter.  "We were...I guess you would say...making out.  Couples came and went, even if I was a little uncomfortable with things, I wasn't me, I was...Kathleen, like on my ID.  I...wasn't sixteen, I...was twenty.  All this was normal, right?  That's...what I...kept telling...myself.  Soon, it was our turn, I guess, to go down below decks.  I was pretty drunk, and we continued drinking in one of the staterooms.  I don't remember, other than him telling me he loved me and it was about time I learned what pleasure was all about. I think I cried for him to stop but he didn't.  He said he'd teach...teach me to...enjoy it."  Jihoo rubbed her arms briskly as she had begun to shake.  "Soon it became a daily routine, he'd numb me with alcohol and drugs and my body just did what he told it to do.  By the time six weeks passed, we were visiting his home or spending a few days on a yacht and then one day I woke up somewhere I'd never been.  I...didn't see Nana and Kike for six months."  Ilana sobbed again, unable to continue.

Jihoo sobbed quietly behind her and held her tight.  When he thought he could speak, he turned her to look at him.  "Sarang," she refused to meet his eyes.  "Sarang, look at me," he took her face in his hand.  "It's not your fault, listen to me," she was shaking her head.  "It's not your fault; you were drugged and used against your consent.  You weren't in the right frame of mind to be able to understand what was being done to you.  You said it yourself, you led a sheltered life.  Sarang…neh sarang; neh yippeun sarang."  Ilana shook her head and pushed off him.  She ran to the bathroom, trying to lock herself in, but Jihoo was right behind her.  She was going to be sick and couldn't stop it.

Jihoo held her as she struggled to expel the contents of her stomach.  "Gwenchana," he smoothed her hair, "get the poison out so that it can't hurt you anymore."  Having absolutely nothing left to expel, Ilana sagged almost lifeless against Jihoo.  He picked her up slowly and again took her to the sink to wash up.  Had he not had a firm grip on her, she would've fallen in a puddle on the floor.  Her legs shook like Jell-O; actually, all of her did.  The only thing keeping her sane was the simple act of brushing her teeth and Jihoo running a washcloth over her face.  Tears fall off and on, she couldn't stop.

It was late; they'd been at it for hours.  He needed her to tell him about the six months.  He also wanted to know about her life afterward, how she ended up in New York but, he couldn't push her anymore tonight.  There was always tomorrow.  She had a firm grip around his neck as carried her back to bed.  Sitting with her on his lap, he soothed her hair and back with steady of his hand.  He hummed and occasionally rocked her, all the while, she didn't let go.  "Saranghaeyo," he repeated often.  "Gwenchana, saranghaeyo."   He continued until he felt her grip slacken.  She finally slept.  Tucking her in, he then stood sentry over her sleep, like a guardian angel.

Los Angeles, California

Park Jung Min was taking his job seriously, Ilana had entrusted him to open a new chapter for the company.  He had some ideas and his Sunbae, Antonio was on board with him as well.  He was now scouring Korean financial journals for potential customers.  The top chaebol companies were out of the picture at the moment.  He would go after them later.  Right now, he was looking at the up and coming companies that were financially sound and looking to invest in the U.S.

 - "Yeobo," Suzy, his wife called.  She had been pouring over her nursing books.  She was a few months into studying for a Woman's Nurse Practitioner degree.  It was still early, but she'd been at it since seven.  They both had, Nana refused to let them cook for themselves, so they had dinner at the main house and Nana consented to let Suzy clear the table but not to clean the kitchen.  She shooed the husband and wife out the door right after.  "Yeobo," she came up behind her husband and wrapped her arms around his neck planting little kisses behind his ear.

 - "Mmm?  Suzy is trying to get me in trouble with Sunbae and Ilana."

 - "O-ppa...I need a break.  Juseyo…?"

Jung Min couldn't resist her aegyo and when he called her 'Oppa'.   "Arraso," he closed the website he was looking at.

 - "Wait, what's that?"

 - "Mwo?"

 - "There's something about Kim HyunJoong."  Jung Min's web browser always had 'All Kpop' open.  They both read the headline.

Kim HyunJoong Accused of Assaulting Girlfriend.

 - "Mwo?!"  Husband and wife both shouted.

 - "What sasaeng did this?  There's no way Hyeong did this."

 - "Minnie-ah, try calling him."

JungMin dialed his number and there was no answer.  "Dog!  It's horse, call me back.   We're worried."  He turned to Suzy.  "I left him a message, maybe I'll try texting."

Jung Min:  Yah!  Just saw the news, anae and I are worried about you.

 - "I hope he answers back.  We can't bother the others."

 - "Deh, Macknae will lose his mind."

 - "More than he has already?"  Jung Min couldn't resist a dig at his buddy, who he secretly missed.  Not that he would admit it.

 - "Chincha?  Park JungMin, how can you joke at a time like this?"

 - "Ara.  Ara.  Don't worry; I’m sure the sasaeng witch is just trying to get money from him."

 - "You know how private he is and he's worked so hard to have some selfish person spread vicious lies about him."  Suzy was getting so worked up, her fists balled and ready to strike as if the woman would suddenly appear before her.

 - "Easy, tiger,” JungMin laughed, taking his wife's hands.  "It's a good thing we don't know who the girl is or you'd go right to her and scratch her eyes out."

 - "Tch, I'd give her something to report."

 - "Wau, yeobo.  Remind me not to get on your bad side."

 - "Like you ever would," Suzy gave her husband an evil grin.

  - "Wau, this is the yeoja that's been going with Halmoni to mass?  Where's the Holy water."

 - "Pabo," Suzy pulled her husband's arm.  "Let's go for a walk to the little chapel and light a candle for HyunJoong Oppa."

Arraso, my dears, here it is.  I'll be waiting for your comments.

I don't think I have the energy left to PM you.  You guys can just find the chapter on your own.   It's been a rough few days in our household and I think I'm ready to take my contacts off and go to sleep.  

 - Jalja & as always kansamnida!