I knew that I wasn't going to live a normal idol life once I stepped into SM Entertainment and met my labelmates.

I remembered the time when I first met Jiyong hyung. It was when I went to my cousin's house, and his friend was concidentally Jiyong hyung.

[Flashback]

"Annyeonghaseyo!" I greeted my my uncle, my aunt, and my cousin. 

"Omo, Amber-ah?" my aunt asked me as she walked over to me with a big smile on her face. I looked up at her, "Ne, aunty!" I yelled happily and ran into embrace. I missed her. I missed them. It had been years since I had seen them.

My uncle behind me laughed heartily with my parents, while Jackie was just playing on her phone. Haha, typical sis. 

"You've grown so much, over the year! Unlike my own son!" My aunt said teasingly to me, while we were both looking at my cousin. My cousin scowled "Umma!" he whined. He stomped over to me and took my hand into his, pulling me with him upstairs.

I stared blankly back at my parents, sis, aunty, and uncle. I was trying to look for an answer from them, but all I could see were smiles and "You'll enjoy his company, Amber"

Before I could even realize what was going on, I was pulled into a room with basketball poster and superheroes figures on the table. There was also a queen size bed in the middle of the room, a blue desk with drawers and finally, there was a boy there.

"Oh, Dongwoo, who's she?" the boy that I saw asked my cousin. 

I stared at the boy long and hard, before turning over to my cousin "He didn't say I'm a boy" was the first thing that I blurted out. My cousin looked at me ridiculously before he and his friend laughed.

"Meet Jiyong" he told me "And this is Amber, my youngest cousin." he gestured toward me.

I shrugged " Nice meeting ya, I'm Amber." my voice turned boyish and my social-butterfly skill was activated. "I'm guessing you're older than me since you know my cousin?" I smirked.

"Yah!" I heard both him and my cousin shouted offensively at me. I grinned {Misson Success!}.

My cousin just sighed and pushed me farther into his room and just left me there, going over to the spot next to his friend and sat down. I shrugged again before I ran over to him and pushed him over, getting him out of his seat, and instead, I sat next to my new friend.

The boy laughed "Hey Amber, I'm a few years older than you so you should call me oppa" he looked at me and I froze. I felt my cousin's eyes traveled over to me too as they both waited for my answer.

"Aniyo, hyung. I'm never going to call you the right term~" I meronged him, not even mentioning the said word.My cousin reached up and pulled me backward, letting me fall onto the ground beside him.

"You, Amber, will never learn. You're just as stubborn as your sis. What's wrong with you two?" 

"I don't know. You should ask unnie since she should know more about me than I do" I answered innocently.

Dongwoo clicked his tongue, but before he could said another word, my aunt called us down for dinner.

I smiled and jumped up, running down the stairs and toward the dining area. I sat donw on one of the chairs and a few seconds later, both of my sides were occupied by none other than my cousin and his friend.

Jackie glanced at me and grinned " I see that you already captivated him with your charm, Eunyoung-ah" she called me by my Korean's name. Wait...Did she...just freaking....call me....Eunyoung?!!!!

"JACKIE!" I shouted, kicking her under the table since she was sitting right opposite of me.

"Wae?" she stared at me with her innocently oversized puppy dog eyes.

"Aish, nevermind" I groaned and started to dig into my dinner.

2 hours later, the Lius were by the door, saying good-bye to their relatives.

"Bye~" I called to my cousin and his friend. I bowed to my uncle and aunt together with my sis and then we went back to our own house, which was a 30 minutes car ride.

[At home]

I ran into the house, taking off my shoes and successfully threw them onto the shoe racks and sprinted to my room. I promised my friend to skype, but I totally forgot! And she said she was going to send me something important too. Gotta check my mails!

I opened my laptop and it automatically . After about 15 seconds, the loading was completed and I was in my inbox. I went through each one of my mails and when it was the last one, I stopped. 

"TGlocks14589" (it's a totally made-up name by me, so therefore unrealistic) "Who is this?" I mumbled to myself as I clicked onto it. When I started to scan the content of the letter that was totally no emotion icons whatsoever, indicating that it was not any of my friends that sent me this. As I started to read deeper into the letter, my eyes widened.

"Dear Amber,

This is a very sudden and weird message to you, but please don't ignore it. I have been wanting to tell you for awhile, but had never gotten the courage until today. I want to tell yout that I really really like you.Please reply to this.

From, James. " 

I grabbed my pillow and covered my face with it, muffling my girly squeal. This letter was too cheesy, for me it is anyway. 

A few moments later, I looked up from my pillow and toward the computer screen. I shook my head. I was 11, never have a boyfriend, heck, i never have a boy confess to me before. So, what am I going to do now? 

And once again, before I could even realize what i was doing, I already clicked the 'send' button on the screen, replying to him with a "I only like you as a friend"

I screamed, and thank god my room and the other rooms inside the house were soundproof. I looked at the screen again and sighed. That reply was the nicest one I could offer in this situation. My mind was totally jumbled up and I swear that i have absolutely no control of my body anymore whatsoever. I slumped down onto my bed and before I knew it, I fell asleep.

                                                               ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

3 months later, I discovered that the mysterious sender was actually someone from my grade in school back in America. Even though I know his name, I still didn't know who he was, so yeah. And what now? 

I looked at my phone to check for mail, and there was a reply from him. He said "Why don't you want to be my girlfriend?" 

Aish, how stubborn can he be? I sighed in frustration, feeling like pulling my hair out from its root. I had been rejecting him for a while now and he keep on asking me the reason. And whenever I answer him with a "I dont't want to be your girlfriend because I don't like you the way you like me", but he keep on insisting that i was lying and that the real reason was because I might like one of his friends.

WTF?! Who are his friends anyway? How should I know them? How do I even know if I like them or not?! H*ll, I never like anyone before in my whole life, so don't even say anything.

"Amber, your cousin is here! And your new friend is also here!" my mom called out. After a moment, my sister sticked her head into my room "Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!" she cooed, before disappearing down the hallway.

"AISH!!!!!!!!!!!!!" I screamed, my head buried in my pillow.

"Um...are we interrupting something...private?" Dongwoo asked with a quiet voice. When he and Jiyong hyung stepped into the room, they heard a scream and it was coming from the girl on the bed.

I grabbed a pillow from the top of my bed and threw it at my cousin. Then I grabbed a big stuff dino and threw it at Jiyong hyung who was next to him. They both got hit, and I was sure, because I heard some noises like someone fell down onto the floor.

I looked up and grinned, cheering happily for my success "Tricked you!" I said, half-lying.

He looked up at me and pouted "No fair! Ya, Dongwoo, you never told me your cousin was good at aiming" 

"Nothing is fair in life, hyung" I climbed off my bed to collected the things I threw before my mom come in and have a fuss. After I finished organizing my bed, I hang out with the 'hyungs' for a while before it was time to go.

"Wait a minute, Dongwoo hyung. You and Jiyong hyung *grin*, give me your phone numbers and email addresses" I ordered, giving them my phone so they could dial their numbers and email into it. 

"Okay. But you don't have Dongwoo's number even though you're like...all devils?" he asked me with playfulness in his voice.

"Oh, it was just that Dongwoo-hyung didn't have an email yet when I asked him before" I tilted my head at my cousin in a wicked way.

"Evil duo" Dongwoo muttered under his breath and went out of my room once he finished writing what I need. 

I laughed and looked at the remaining person inside my room "Well, see you later, hyung" I smirked and we high-fived. After that, we parted, and we didn't know that it would be a long time before we meet again, as two strangers.

[Present]

I was surprised when I got the sudden confession from James. He and I talked for a while after that and he realized that I really don't like him and that I was seriously naive, and not because I like his friend. And then he and I became friends, closed friends. He sometimes turned to me for advised after that, and I did the same too. He got a new girlfriend a few months after, and I was seriously happy for him.

And I really didn't know, or even think about meeting Jiyong hyung again so unexpectedly. Not in the situation we are in anyway. I also didn't expected him to keep the same phone number either. I didn't know that the number was still available until I accidentally called him and he answered. And now, the name he got on my phone is "GD". 

[Flashback]

"You see Seunghyun hyung and Jiyong hyung, I kind of participated in the composing of the raps in "Beautiful Stranger". When I first heard about the song, something in my brain told me that the tittle of the song, something is familiar about it to me, but I couldn't remember anything. Although I did have feelings that this song had a lot of emotions that I used to have and are related to me in various way" I brought my knee up, wrapping my arms around them

"So, I asked the director about the song, and he said that I can make my own raps for the songs. I was really really happy when i heard that so of course, I accepted. And so, as I keep on listening to the melody and rhythm of the song, which doesn't have the lyrics yet, a memory appeared in my mind out of nowhere. " I looked at them, but there was a faraway look in my eyes, I'm sure

"I remembered that when I was back in the States, around junior high, I think? I was walking home from school when...well, you should know this first. At that time, I had a boyfriend and we were in a relationship for almost 4 months already. I saw him walking outside of a club with another girl. Yeah, you would be wondering why a club was opened at that time, but I had no idea either. And of course, he didn't go to school that day and when I text him to ask what happen, he said he only have a little fever so I don't have to worry too much. I wasn't the over-protective kind of girlfriend, so I just told him to get well soon. I didn't bothered him or anything after that. Anyway, when I saw him with the girl, I seriously, almost, broke down right there on the street.. But, I held on. No use crying in the middle of the street and getting attention to yourself. I ran to the park that was like a forest because of it gigantic trees and nature-like scenery. There was a lot of trees, bushes, flowers, and everything. I went there because I thought I wouldn't have to worry about anyone finding me. Then I started crying. I cried so hard for the second time in my whole life. Yeah, pretty worthless if you ask me now. I mean, now that I think about it, that guy wasn't worth it." I laughed bitterly at the memory.

"But then, I saw him. He looked like Korean. I could only see his face for a brief moment though, before the tears streamed down again and made my vision completely blurry. I thought that nobody would find me, but someone did. To tell hyungs the truth, I was glad, glad that someone came, glad that someone actually care even though he was only a stranger. Also because, I always hate the feeling of being alone in a situation like that. He comforted me when I started crying heartily and loudly again. He was so kind to me, not asking me any question and just sit beside me, hugging me and comforting me. He was like an angel. My broken-heart was mended right then. It was as if being with him make me happy, and not think about anything else. But after I stopped crying and he made sure that my tears had all stopped, although I still couldn't see that clearly, he walked away after telling me to not cry over worthless and meaningless things. He didn't tell me his name, but I didn't ask him either. And well...I only realize that I didn't know his name after he was far gone. After all of that, my boyfriend broke up with me the next day. He told me that his friends saw me hugging some random guy that they didn't recognize , but really, I didn't care that much at all anymore anyway, so I just said " Okay" and we went our separate ways." I smiled, telling TOP hyung and G-Dragon hyung my memories

" So when I was sitting inside my room, inspirations struck me because of the memories, and I was able to make the raps in "Beautiful Stranger", full of my meaningful memories and feelings. And when I went to turn in the rap and showed the director how to read the rap, he told me that he would definitely put it in the song. It turned out that the raps fit perfectly with the music and the lyrics that were composed while I was trying to compose my own raps." I looked down at the ground and sighed happily. I was glad that one of the most memorable moments of my life could be tell through a song. I was contented. I was happy. I was glad I chose this path to become an idol.

[Present]

I chuckled to myself as I leaned against the wall of my bedroom, thinking back of all the happy and sad memories. I still couldn't believe that my group and I can actually perform onstage with Bigbang in 2 more days.

At that time when the director gave me the chance to compose my raps part, I was very happy. I love to try new things, and ever since that day when I was accepted into SM Entertainment, my natural curiosity fill me up to the most. Now, music was one of the important things in my life. Music was the started of my very happy future with my members and labelmates.

[Flashback]

When I was back in junior high, freshman, I met a guy a few years older than me that was a few years older than me. He was in highschool, and from what my sister had experienced, I realized how hard highschool actually is.

He was very broken physically, mentally, and emotionally. He was exactly like how my sister was when she was in highschool, except for the fact that his family was slowly leaving him. At the time where my sister had been a bad highschooler, doing stuff that she had never done before, we didn't leave her and stay by her side. My parents were supporting her secretly, hoping that she would come out of the teenage-craze phase. But I was always by her side and I knew how she feels because she always have mental breakdowns at night. She usually cried and felt like killing herself whenever night come and she was alone in her room. However, I was there for her, because I know that she will always be there for me. And I'll need her when I arrive at the phase too. She's the closest person to me. Even though I love my parents, they can't understand how I feel, and being the stubborn me, I felt like I would hurt them, and my sister is the only one that can stand me no matter what.

I met him through another friend's brother. We were having a party at my friend's house and being her brother's friend, he was also invited. But he didn't seem to enjoy himself that much when I saw him. He was standing at one corner alone and he was holding something inside his hand that was a white package and I panicked. I saw those stuff before in my sister's room.

I ran over to him and snatch the package away from him before he could open it and gulp it down his throat.

"Don't do this! You shouldn't give up like this, there'll always be someone that can understand you and be by your side through this time!" I shouted at him and threw the package into the trash bin.

He looked up at me with dark, cloudy eyes "Who?" he snickered mockingly "There's nobody here. My friends left me, and my family don't even care anymore if I even die!" he glared at me and I felt myself getting frightened, but I didn't give up. 

I smiled at him "Stay strong, oppa. There are people that are with you. You're not alone" before I walked away toward my friend's brother. I asked him about his friend's family. After I got the information, for the next few weeks, convincing his family to not leave him was my mission, and I successed. 

I told his family that he was just going through great depression and madness at his age, and that he was just challeging the difficulty of reaching adulthood. They were convinced and they stayed with him through it. I watched him for a while and when he was happy again, I left.

[Present]

I still can't believed that I called him 'oppa'. That was the one word that I haven't used before on any older male ever since I reached high school. But I guess that was just little me.

However, I did know that when I reached that high school phase, things were going a little crazy for me too, but my sister and friends convinced me that I was just stressed, and i managed to get through that easily. 

I did realized that it was the first time that I met him a long time after that, as in now, and yes, I think he know about me too. About all of our encounters.

There were too much going on, and all the encounters that I can't remember before. My friends, my labelmates, my sunbaes, my hoobaes. Unnies, hyungs, I had met them all before I entered the entertainment showbiz world. But I was glad I did, because all of them help and support me very much when I was far away from my family. They are my second family, and they will always be.

And like I said to Jiyong hyung before, nobody is alone in this world. Everybody will always have people that loves them and helps them to get through everything in their lives, even though the people themselves might not notice it. Nobody is alone.

I smiled and laid down on my bed, appreciating and was glad that I met all my friends. They are all not just simply my friends anymore, they are my family. SM family. 

"Saranghaeyo" I whispered before I fell into a deep sleep.