“Noona, I’m sorry for the yesterday,” Himchan moved towards Taeyeon who still busy making a breakfast. She still quiet. She’s mad… Himchan knew that. Taeyeon sighed. She’s not really mad actually, but she slightly feel disappointed with her brother’s thought. Coward!!

            “there’s a letter for you, over there,” taeyeon does not answered but she pointing on a letter at the table in the living room. Himchan looked at the place.

            “From who? Who sent it?” he asked, he walked toward the table and took it. TS?

            “Your ex. But if you care about that anymore.” Himchan just kept silence. he still take the letter before went to his room. The guitar lying comfortably beside the bed, and he just stared at it. My dream? And this? His hand still have the letter.

            “OFFICIAL APOLOGIZE AND THE RENEWAL OF CONTRACT” Reading only the headline, but he had already feel burden. I’m not a coward, noona. But all of this made me feel burden and guilty, didn’t you understand it?

            “I’m sorry for being like this, Himchan,” Suddenly, his sister had already sitting on his bed. Taeyeon slightly took his guitar and tried to play with it. Himchan want to laughed when Taeyeon hardly want to play it, but he tried to not laughed.

            “Uhh, who’s created this thing, huh?” she’s already feel annoyed. You’re not talented. Accept it. Her mind seems to make fun of her. Really!! She then, took back the guitar on the side. Himchan slowly took it back and sit beside his sister. “You should do like this,” he took his sister’s hand and tried to teach her. Taeyeon slightly surprised but she just keep it going.

            “I’m still hesitate about this thing, I just want you to be understanding about my situation right now, noona”

            Their hands still moving on the guitar. Taeyeon just silence.  uh… it’s not that easy to play this thing….she still try to follow her brother’s skill but failed. What on earth?

            “ you are the one who decide it, not me nor secret angel…” she just simply answered. Then, she continued again. “What is the best for you, I think, you know it better…we are not a kid anymore. This is your second chance and the decision is in your hand. If you just let that guilty feeling and whatsoever ridiculous feeling moved you, you are not going anywhere, Kim Him Chan”, Taeyeon stopped from playing the guitar.

            “It’s hard for me to play this guitar for the first time…, and it is like you,  you’ve tried the best and that mistake, the only one, had completely destroying your talent and all the skill you built, I can’t accept it, honestly. And as a fan, I hope for the best result and not a coward answer.” She moved from his room. Himchan holding his guitar tightly. I am coward. He taking a deep breath.

2 MONTHS AFTER THAT

‘BAP COMEBACK WITH FORMER MEMBER, HIMCHAN COMFORMED’

‘BAP FIRST PERFORMANCE WITH HIMCHAN AFTER 1 YEAR CONTROVERSY’

            Almost every article in the newspaper just talking about the same thing. His comeback. Himchan sitting at the chair in the lobby of TS Entertainment. After the recording and the press conference finished at about 12pm, Himchan just want to rest. And tomorrow, will be his long day. For the first time since his withdrawal and the killing controversy, he will going to perform with BAP member on stage. The inkigayo.

            “Ya!! What are you doing, here?” Suddenly, Daehyun appeared. His hand full of present and food. He just smiling.

            “Hey, are you really can finish all this up?” Himchan smiling.

            “Of course I can, it’s me! You know,”  he is still the same Daehyun…. Himchan laughed. Slowly he walked towards the lift.

            “Ya! Hyung, where are you goin?” Daehyun wanted to follow but being stopped by Himchan. He stared at , pretended to be angry.

            “Why on earth you want to follow me, Huh? This guy really want to be slapped, since his comeback to the group, Daehyun is the one who really want to stick with him, almost all the time. Himchan sighed.

            “Hehe…can’t i?” whatever…he doesn’t reply to it. He still comfortably walks towards the lift. There is something that he prepared for the tomorrow. Yes. For them.

INKIGAYO COMEBACK STAGE

            The stage seems so big for him. Himchan looked at the audience fulfilling the seat from the backstage. He tried to be calm but of course, it so difficult. ‘It has been a long time, Himchan…for seeing you on stage,’ he remembered his sister’s words. He put his hand on the pocket. Everything looked really strange for him right now. Is it a second chance that you mean it, noona? Suddenly, someone approaching him, talking slowly to him.

            “Please be ready, on stage in 2 minutes.” A staff approaching him and give him the microphone and a letter. His own, written letter. Himchan took a deep breath. Yongguk walked and put his hand on his shoulders. “good luck,” Himchan slightly smiled, and walked towards the stage. He put a ring, carved with ‘Secret Angel’ on his finger. Secret Angel, can you help me for this time? He kissed it and finally standing in front of hundreds of fans.

“BAP! BAP! Fighting!!!! KimHimChan, fighting!!!” a loud cheer come from the audience as soon as they standing on the stage. After they finished one song, Himchan moved forward and started to read the letter and without he realize, Taeyeon and Donghae was watching him among the fans. Good luck, Himchan…Taeyeon slightly smiled.

“for the first time on stage after all the things happened to me, it’s really strange for me, but…” Himchan suddenly bow. Like a flashed, everybody looked surprised including s. For a second, its quiet. He stand back and read the letter.

“I’m sorry for what had happened. I’m sorry for make all of you disappointed. And I’ m sorry for my members and agency for the mistake. I do not want to blame anyone. I’m the one who are too stupid for making a ruckus like this. And for my noona, thank you for be my side during my hard time. I’m almost dying and I’m almost losing my spirit to live and standing on the stage once again. You’re my secret angel who always being here, in my heart. Maybe I losing my parents and love, but you are the one who is my appa, my omma and my love. I’m sorry for the fragile me.  Donghae sunbaenim, thank you for your motivation and support although sometimes its look too much. I’m sorry too, because at the first instance, I thought that you are just wanted to be close of me because of my noona. Fans, thank you for still listening and understanding me, for the love you give to us and me, I really cannot afford to pay it back but I’m really thankful for having you in here.” Himchan put his hand on his left chest. He did now when his tears are dropping. He then, continued reading the letter. “ God, I’m really thankful for the miracle. The second chance and for all the people who love me. I’m fall but You stand me up again, giving a new spirit for me through all the people here. Thank you. Sincerely, Kim Him Chan.”

He cried, on that stage, his tears dropping, in front of their hundreds fans and thousand of viewers. Yongguk hug him, followed by the others. The fans who touched cried. A minute letter, almost all the fans hold a banner they made.

‘Welcome back Himchan, we’re really sorry for the misunderstanding’

Taeyeon just cannot hide his feeling. This dongsaeng really make her cried for many times… And again, without she realizes, her hand was in Donghae’s hand.