A/N: By popular demand I have tried my hardest to get an update for this fic out! I'm so sorry for taking so long but I've been really busy with school and personal things. This chapter is about 4.5k words so I hope it's enough to satisfy you until the next update which could be between a week to a month from now. (By the way this fic's word count is almost 150k can you believe that?!??) Anyway, enjoy and please comment and upvote and all that jazz :D

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The night was long, not that Sunny expected anything else.

 

She looked up at the sleeping Taeyeon who had passed out about an hour ago with her arms limply wrapped around her waist. She looked a little troubled in her sleep and Sunny couldn’t help but feel a little guilty. She reached up her trembling hands and wiped the stray tears off her best friend’s face.

 

Sunny had replayed the earlier night’s scene over and over in her head, as if trying to pin point a specific moment that she could’ve done differently to get a better result. But with each replay she realised how delusional she was being.

 

She knew it would play out this way.

 

But it didn’t make the pain any easier to bear and the reality of it seemed to sting so much more than she expected.

 

“I guess there are some things you can’t really help,” she chuckled to herself, her body shaking again as tears spilled from her eyes.

 

But it wasn’t over yet. Taeyeon had to remind Sunny of her plan to win Sooyoung’s heart at the talent show the next day. It was that small glint of hope that helped the two sleep, or well at least Taeyeon. Sunny couldn’t help but feel nervous.

 

She glanced at the clock as it blared out 3AM. She still had school that day and she needed at least a few hours of sleep if she wanted to function at school. That was, if she was even going to school.

 

And she didn’t.

 

Hyoyeon was the first to bring it up during their lunch period.

 

“Is Sungmin sick?” she asked, frowning before taking a bite of her sandwich. “I hope he isn’t feeling too bad, tonight’s the big night.”

 

Sooyoung shifted uncomfortably in her seat and Taeyeon noticed this right away. She bit her lip and tried her best to stop herself from sighing out loud.

 

“He texted me earlier and said he just slept in,” Taeyeon declared with a soft chuckle, “He told me he’d come when school ended.”

 

“It’s not a good idea to miss school if you can help it,” Seohyun said disapprovingly with a shake of her head. “I thought oppa knew better than this.”

 

Yoona and Taeyeon were communicating through their eyes and she turned to her girlfriend, wrapping an arm around her waist.

 

“He’s allowed to take a break every once in a while,” Yoona laughed before kissing Seohyun on the cheek. “Besides, you’ve seen his grades, it’s not like he’ll fall behind or anything.”

 

Despite the light chatter, Jessica knew something had to be wrong. Yuri, Hyoyeon and the other girls felt it too. They all looked at Sooyoung and noticed there was something off about her expression.

 

“It’s weird that you weren’t the first one to mention his absence,” Hyoyeon commented with a smile, lightly pushing Sooyoung. The taller girl didn’t smile back though and only let out a soft sigh.

 

“Guys, I have some news for you,” her voice was soft, almost a whisper and the girls could barely believe it. If there was one thing consistent about their group of friends, it was that Hyoyeon, Tiffany and Sooyoung were the loudest people in their group, even if there was nothing exciting to talk about. The weak tone she used made the girls worry.

 

“We broke up,” she breathes out a little awkwardly, as if she’s unsure. But she shakes her head and repeats it a second time when the other girls just stare at her blankly.

 

“What happened?!” Tiffany asked, causing some of the tables around them to turn their attention towards their group because of the sheer volume of her voice.

 

“I thought something was up,” Yuri mumbled, frowning at the tall girl sitting across from her. “You seemed out of it since we talked this morning.”

 

Sooyoung tilted her head, “Really?” She was doing her best to make it look like nothing was wrong. She tried to keep the strange inner turmoil down to a tee so her friends wouldn’t get all worked up.

 

“Sooyoungie, I don’t know if you noticed or not but since you got together with Sungmin oppa, you’d come into our classroom with the biggest smile on your face,” Yoona spoke up. She wanted to bring up the topic earlier, but figured she’d let Sooyoung be the first to talk about it when she was ready.

 

She thought maybe they had a fight or something, but she couldn’t imagine anything like this.

 

Sooyoung didn’t answer, but only bit her lip as she looked away.

 

“This is just temporary right?” Yuri muttered in slight disbelief, “I mean, you two were perfect together, there couldn’t have been a reason you guys broke up unless-“

 

Jessica raises a hand to shut Yuri’s mouth and she hisses at her girlfriend quietly while trying to secretly glare at her. Luckily, Sooyoung was too out of it to notice.

 

“This stuff happens,” Sooyoung responded, fiddling with the food before her. “Anyway, I have a meeting with Mr. Hyesung about stage stuff, I’ll see you guys later.”

 

It’s the first time Sooyoung left the cafeteria without finishing her meal.

 

Everyone except for Tiffany turned to each other and huddle up a little closer, talking in a half whisper. Tiffany closed in afterwards, unsure of what’s going on but following along anyway.

 

“Did she find out?” Jessica is the first person to ask, and she looked directly at Taeyeon, knowing that she had to know the answer to the question.

 

Taeyeon nods.

 

“What?!” Yoona spits out, leaning forward, “How’s Sunny unnie? Is she okay?”

 

Everyone has the same feeling of uneasiness build up in the pit of their stomach when they feel another presence behind them.

 

“You guys knew?” Sooyoung mumbled, the sound of Yoona calling Sunny’s name so clearly ringing in her head. She had come back for a quick second because she forgot her bag, but came back to something she didn’t expect to hear.

 

No one knew how to react. They all looked at each other, too afraid to say anything.

 

“Yes,” Taeyeon broke the silence when she noticed Sooyoung starting to tremble, growing impatient with their lack of answers. Her response was weak and she couldn’t find the courage to even look her in the eye when she says it.

 

“You guys knew,” she repeats, nodding to herself before turning around and walking away with her bag. She doesn’t give them a second glance and bites her lip, wondering why the churning in her stomach wouldn’t just stop already.

 

“,” Hyoyeon is the first to declare, her hands in her face, “, , she must be so pissed!”

 

Seohyun put a hand over Hyoyeon’s mouth to stop her from releasing any more profanities, “Swearing isn’t going to help us unnie.” She was too shocked from the recent events to do anything, but her automatic response to such impolite behaviour won control over .

 

“What are we going to do?” Yuri asked helplessly, “This can’t be happening, right?”

 

Tiffany stared blankly at the girls, unsure of what to say since Yoona first uttered the words “Is Sunny okay?” She wanted to pretend she was in the loop so she stayed silent and tried to listen to everything they were saying and piece it together, but this was too much.

 

She pulled on Taeyeon’s sleeve and pulled her close, “What’s going on?” she whispered into her ear.

 

“Oh yeah, Fany doesn’t know,” Hyoyeon muttered noticing the couple huddling together. “We’re sorry you’re the last one to know.”

 

“Know what?” Tiffany asked, thinking she knows the answer but hoping it’s not the case.

 

“Sunny is Sungmin.”

 

Yoona left the group as soon as Sooyoung walked away, trying her best to follow the girl out of the crowd of loud and obnoxious students. She watched her best friend’s face and knows that they hurt her really bad and she can’t help but feel like she betrayed her.

 

But she had to keep Sunny’s identity a secret, she promised.

 

She waited outside the staff room patiently for her long and slender friend to come out. Her heart pounded a little harder when her eyes made contact with Sooyoung’s, and the next thing she knew, her cheek was stinging.

 

“Youngie?” Yoona frowned at the pain but knew exactly why the girl did it.

 

“You’re my best friend,” she spat, her eyes starting to fill with tears, “Why didn’t you say anything? Why didn’t you tell me?”

 

Yoona bit her bottom lip as she stared at Sooyoung, many possible answers filling up her head but she just couldn’t decide on one. She clenched her fist and released it, clenched again and exhaled.

 

“Sunny’s my friend too,” she managed to say back, her heart squeezing itself when Sooyoung looks away from her, clearly unsatisfied by the answer. “Look, let’s talk this out okay?”

 

Yoona reached her hand out to grab Sooyoung as she started to walk away, ignoring her words and making her way elsewhere.

 

“I’m busy,” Sooyoung said as she starts walking again, her pace the fastest Yoona has ever seen.

 

And she’s too ashamed to walk after her, her fist slamming into nearby lockers as she holds back the urge to scream her lungs out.

 

The first person to see Sooyoung again is Taeyeon and it’s a few hours after school’s ended. They spoke to the teachers in charge of the talent show and were on their way to speaking with their stage crew.

 

Every word exchanged was completely and only related to the talent show and Taeyeon knew better than to just randomly change topics. But when she felt the sting of Sooyoung’s unusually cold words and the bite of her tone, she found it harder to hold back.

 

They’re finished their pep talk with the stage crew when they’re finally alone in a music room to practice their duet. Sooyoung glances at Taeyeon for a second before picking up the music sheets to their duet.

 

“So you knew this whole time?” her tone is bitter and Taeyeon can feel her stomach drop. She’d known Sooyoung for the majority of her life and never has she heard her speak like this.

 

“Yes,” Taeyeon replied, walking towards Sooyoung and meeting her gaze despite their height difference. She was a little intimidated, scared of how Sooyoung would argue with her, but she kept her feet on the ground and remembered to stay strong for her best friend.

 

“Even when you guys were…” she trailed off, but her eyes never stopped burning holes into Taeyeon’s.

 

“Yes,” Taeyeon replied again, a firm nod following after. “I knew who she was the second she came to my door.”

 

Sooyoung finally turned away, shuffling the sheets and tapping her fingers on the desk. She took a sharp breath of air before leaning on desk that held Taeyeon’s guitar.

 

And then came a knock on the door. Taeyeon hoped to God that it wasn’t one of their stage volunteers coming to say something went wrong because she’s had enough of that for the week. Instead, she opened the door to find the rest of her friends and without any hesitation, she let them in.

 

“Who was it?” Sooyoung asked before turning around to get her own question answered. She frowned immediately seeing the sorry faces of her friends before her. But her attention is quickly averted to Yoona, whose beautiful face is stained with a red mark on her cheek. She bit her tongue and resisted the urge to run to her friend and tenderly her cheek.

 

“Sooyoung, we have to talk,” Jessica is the first brave soul to speak out as she stepped out of the group of friends and grabbed Sooyoung’s hand. “I know you’re mad but please, heard us out okay?”

 

Sooyoung nodded, but refused to move even though Jessica pulled on her arm so tightly.

 

Everyone except for Taeyeon bowed at once before apologizing in unison.

 

“Unnie, we did it to protect Sunny unnie,” Seohyun is the first to speak after, her unnies still unsure of exactly what to say and make of the situation. They all wished they could stop time and stick a pin on this situation, do the talent show and then come back down to reality where they had to face this problem.

 

“But what about me?” Sooyoung muttered back, biting her tongue to prevent herself from yelling. “Who protected me?” Her voice was cracking and everyone wondered how much strength it took for the girl to stop herself from crying and ruining her make up for the show. Everyone knew that Sooyoung was open as anyone could be when it came to expressing her emotions. They could only imagine the amount of pressure she held in her chest as she stood there, her body vibrating, containing her emotions.

 

“We didn’t mean to hurt you,” Hyoyeon responded, her body coming closer to Sooyoung. She waved her arms as she tried to come up with more words, but instead turned to her friends for some help.

 

“We thought that…” Yoona began as she fiddled with her fingers, “That maybe you wouldn’t care once you found out who Sungmin was.”

 

“Guys, you know I’m not gay,” Sooyoung breathed out almost immediately, incredibly defensively and she can’t bring herself to face her friends. “You know I’m not like that.”

 

Jessica shook her head, “It doesn’t matter what you are Sooyoung. What happened to you telling me that you loved Sungmin? What happened to you telling me and Yoona a few days ago about how you wanted to marry him?”

 

Sooyoung knew exactly what she said, she knew exactly how she felt when she told Jessica that. How could she forget the feeling she had in her heart whenever she saw Sungmin, the dedication she had towards her boyfriend? How could she forget the image of walking down the aisle with the boy and one day having children with him?

 

“She’s not Sungmin,” was her simple reply.

 

Before the girls could reply, another faint knock came upon the door. Taeyeon seemed really quick to react as she practically jogged to the door and let in a familiar blonde boy. His steps were light, his body radiating something different from what they were used to. Sungmin was gone now and all that was left was their Sunny.

 

The tension in the air increased as everyone turned to her, dressed in a tight pair of dress pants and a matching, fitting blazer. Sunny was dressed for her first performance and when she got the text from Taeyeon about where everyone was, it took every ounce of energy within her to prevent herself from running towards that music room.

 

Taeyeon communicated to Tiffany with her eyes and nudged her head towards the door. She nodded her head and grabbed Jessica’s hand and pulled her and the rest of the group towards the exit, leaving only two people to occupy the room.

 

“Sooyoung,” Sunny breathed as soon as she was sure that she wasn’t dreaming. Her stomach was churning and her head was spinning as she stared at Sooyoung who was dressed in a simple, elegant white dress that hugged her figure. Her hair was slightly curled as it rested on only one of her shoulders, the other shamelessly bare for the world to see.

 

Sunny hated herself for ogling the other girl’s beauty instead of concentrating on what she wanted to say, on what she wanted to talk about with her. She had to focus, but Sooyoung was being unfair and distracting. But after taking in the girl’s outfit, the next thing that’s distracting is the way Sooyoung is grasping at her music sheets, wrinkling the paper. She hoped that she wasn’t mad at her and Sunny felt relief wash over her when the other girl speaks.

 

“Sunny,” Sooyoung muttered back, her eyes murky as they ran themselves all over Sunny.

 

She felt stupid, absolutely idiotic for not noticing the resemblance before. Sungmin had her eyes, those clear, deep brown eyes that turned into crescents whenever she laughed. He had her uniquely shaped lips that were always a mystery to her, that she was always jealous of. He had her cute nose and it wasn’t until that moment when she remembered that he complained about it almost as much as Sunny did. He had her height, that head’s worth of distance that she always teased the girl for.

 

And it isn’t until then that she realized how much she missed Sunny, but she’s thinks she’s too mad and confused to do anything about it.

 

“I’m sorry,” Sunny said with as much sincerity in her voice as possible. She searched Sooyoung’s eyes and hoped they’d clear up so she could see her, so she could see Sungmin and see that they weren’t really all that different from each other.

 

“How could you lie to me?” Sooyoung responded, now walking towards Sunny. She was flawless despite walking in heels and the height difference became even more evident as she towered above Sunny, her eyes burning with urgency.

 

“I didn’t mean to,” Sunny started before shaking her head, “Well, I- this, this was just a prank you see. It started as a prank.”

 

Sooyoung didn’t respond and only continued to stare, waiting for a good explanation.

 

“I was finally back in Korea and thought that I could make some sort of grand entrance,” she waved her hands around in nervousness as she explained her story. She tried her best not to stumble over any of her words and tried her hardest not to lose Sooyoung’s gaze. “And so I dressed up as Sungmin and decided that I could be him until graduation and then surprise you guys.”

 

“So you were just playing around?” Sooyoung asked a little indignantly, her voice rising with each word. “Sungmin, he was just a cover up? A puppet? Just someone you made up? Were you just being my boyfriend because you knew I liked him and took advantage of that? Did you just want to break my heart and play with me?”

 

Sooyoung knew that couldn’t be the answer but she couldn’t help but accuse Sunny. Her thoughts were racing and her heart wouldn’t stop echoing through her head and she was so surprised that she didn’t start crying right there and then.

 

“No, no,” Sunny retorted with a shake of her head, “No, of course not. You know I would never take advantage of you. And you know that I would never, ever intentionally hurt you.”

 

Sooyoung took in a deep breath, “Then why did you do all this? Why did you go out with me when you were just going to tell us you weren’t really Sungmin by the end of it?”

 

Sunny wrinkled her nose and furrowed her brow, she knew Sooyoung wasn’t stupid.

 

“What do you want me to say Sooyoungie? You know how Sungmin felt and I’m Sungmin, he is me and that’s all the possible answers you could have,” Sunny was starting to grow a little angry although she completely expected this behaviour from Sooyoung. That’s why she came here, that’s why she stayed at home all day to practice her acts and practice the words she’d tell Sooyoung.

 

“You’re not him, you’re Sunny,” was Sooyoung’s simple and stubborn response.

 

“Look at me Sooyoung, who do I look like you?” Sunny retaliated, straightening her back and getting dangerously closer to Sooyoung. “I am Sungmin and there’s no way around that.”

 

Sooyoung scoffed and closed her eyes before shaking her head, “No, stop this Sunny. I’ve had enough and tonight is really important to me and to you. Let’s just…”

 

The next thing Sooyoung does surprises Sunny so much that she forgets to breathe for a second. Her mind can’t register the urgent, essential need to take in air and focuses solely on the arms that are wrapped around her.

 

“Sunny, I missed you a lot,” Sooyoung whispered into her ear, holding the girl close, “And I’m willing to forgive you, okay?” With her next sentence she tried her best to push away Sunny’s words and intention, “I felt horrible last night after you left and thought about it all day. I hurt you, didn’t I? I’m sorry and I know you’re sorry so let’s just forget this all, okay?”

 

Sunny shoved Sooyoung away as soon as she’s done her little speech and Sunny gazes at Sooyoung with so much fire in her eyes. She bites her bottom lip as she restrained herself from being too aggressive with her words. She hoped that she wasn’t biting hard enough to break her skin but that couldn’t be helped anymore.

 

“Sooyoungie, I don’t think you understand,” Sunny replied, looking down and away from Sooyoung’s confused expression. “I don’t want to forget it all and I know you don’t want to either.”

 

“You’re right, I don’t understand,” Sooyoung frowned, incredibly hurt that Sunny pushed her away. “But you’re wrong about the other thing, I do want to forget it. That would make things much easier, don’t you think? Why are you making this so complicated?” She knew exactly why, but she wanted to run from it, she wanted to run as far away as possible from it and keep things as simple as possible.

 

She wasn’t the only one who didn’t understand, why couldn’t Sunny understand that she just wants things to go back to normal? Why doesn’t she understand that Sooyoung hates the awkward air, the tension, the hurting and she just wants thing to be okay and she just wants to celebrate the fact that her friend is back home.

 

But Sunny wouldn’t have any of that.

 

This was a fight that she couldn’t back down from no matter what.

 

“Sooyoung, tell me something,” Sunny continued, her eyes meeting Sooyoung’s again, “Do you love me?”

 

Sooyoung nodded without hesitation, “Of course I love you Sunny, you’re one of my best-“

 

“No, cut that out Sooyoung. You know exactly what I mean,” Sunny’s practically growling and her fist is clenched, her nails digging deep into her skin. She’s trembling again and Sunny’s surprised she hasn’t gotten a head ache from all of the shaking.

 

 “Sunny, please, can you just forget-“

 

“No!” Sunny’s voice echoed through the room and she’s seething, her teeth now clenched as she held back her tears. “Sooyoung, no, this isn’t something we can just forget. And I know how much you want to, I know how much you want to deny that I’m Sungmin and I know you want to forget about how Sungmin made you feel, how I made you feel but let me tell you something. Everything we did, everything we had was real and no matter what, you can’t just take that away, you can’t just erase it like it’s nothing.”

 

Sooyoung is silent as Sunny takes in a deep breath and tries to compose herself so she doesn’t start crying in the middle of her next sentence.

 

“Were we nothing? Was Sungmin and Sooyoung nothing?”

 

Sooyoung resisted the urge to respond, to scream from the top of her lungs, ‘Of course not’ because the days she was with Sungmin were some of the happiest she’s ever spent. Of course they weren’t nothing, Sungmin and Sooyoung was everything. She remembered every kiss, every hug, every date, every word that Sungmin said to her.

 

But this wasn’t right and Sooyoung needed Sunny to understand that. This wasn’t the same, she wasn’t Sungmin and that was that.

 

“Look, Sooyoung I love you, I love you so much,” Sunny wanted to slap herself for her voice was laced with desperation, but there was no other way to say it. “I knew who you were when we started going out and I knew what I was getting into. I knew you liked Sungmin a lot and I’m sorry, I took my chance to date you even if it was under a different name. But I couldn’t take lying to you about exactly who I was anymore so I told you, I told you who I was and I hoped deep down inside that you’d accept me because I just had this clawing feeling that despite everything, even if you knew who I really was, you wouldn’t care and you would love me back without hesitation.”

 

The two stared at each other as the silence grew and Sooyoung is unsure of what to she’s supposed to say, of what she wants to say. She can’t look at Sunny anymore because she knows that look, she knows when Sunny’s about to cry and she doesn’t know if she could take Sunny crying again.

 

But she can’t accept her feelings and she can’t accept the weird way her heart is tightening in her chest and she can’t accept the urge she has to hug Sunny and kiss her on the forehead, because she looks like Sungmin but she doesn’t feel like him and yet they’re exactly the same and…Sooyoung’s confused.

 

“Look, I can’t make you accept me and love me the same way you loved Sungmin, but Sooyoungie please, please don’t try to forget what happened between us. Don’t tell me you’re going to just shut away those precious memories we made because you think Sungmin isn’t real anymore. He is real, he is me, and if you really loved him like you’d always tell him, like you always told me, every day that we were together, then you could love me too.”

 

Sunny didn’t wait for a response and she needed to get away from Sooyoung for a second to breathe. She needed to get some air and to look away from that beautiful, confused face that  continued to deny her.

 

She stopped at the door and turned to Sooyoung one last time, “Listen carefully to me tonight, okay?”

 

And with that she closed the door, leaving Sooyoung to bang her hand into the desk in absolute frustration, unsure of what she was supposed to think anymore.