Credits: kayro

|03| Pretence

"Ka-boom!" 
- Kim SooJin


KANG JIWOON’S LETTER TO KIM SOOJIN IN JUNIOR HIGH

Dear Kim SooJin, I’m writing this because I feel that there is no use at all talking to you. It’s like talking to a tree. Is it because you don’t understand human language? How many times have I told you not to follow me home? You’re definitely creepy. Plus, the way you always throw eggs to any girl that talk to me definitely shows how much a wacko you truly are. I’m begging you, please LEAVE ME ALONE! I’m tired of all your crazy antics. Why do you always bring up the things that happened in sixth grade? I didn’t want to be your play husband because I already know that you’re a psycho. I really hate it when you throw rocks to my head every time I refuse to play that stupid wedding game. If I suffer from brain injury, I’m going to tell my mother to hunt you down. Or worst, if I die, I’ll definitely haunt you as a ghost. Oh by the way, you look really pretty wearing that pink blouse the other day.

Yours truly,
Kang JiWoon.


KIM SOOJIN’S REPLY TO KANG JIWOON’S LETTER 2 DAYS LATER

Dear JiWoon, why are you even writing to me? I think guys who write are sissies. Since you show some potential to end up becoming a sissy, I’m telling you now that I’ll stop stalking you. It was no fun stalking you anyways. It’s like following a duck back to its pond. Oh, I know I look really pretty wearing that pink blouse. Mind you, it’s imported all the way from Busan. My aunt bought it for me. Some boys even asked me out so it’s definitely my lucky charm. Anyways, this is me telling you to stop worrying about me following you. You have weird taste on girls, anyways. Consider yourself lucky that I chased them away for you. By the way, I’ve a date this evening. We’re going fishing. It’s going to be so much fun and he’s definitely better looking than you. So, boo-yah! You might die alone.

The great,
Kim SooJin.

P.S: I’m sorry I told everyone that you’re gay. It must have slipped from my mouth. ^_^

********

So what was a girl supposed to do when a y man suddenly decided to tell his aunt that he’s engaged to her? I mean, what was I supposed to do when he said that I was his fiancée when I met his aunt for the first time?

Should I:
a. Jump up and yell “Yahoo!!”?
b. High-five the aunt for hitting a jackpot?
c. Call JiWoon and shove it to his face that I’ve captured a y creature?
d. Demand for my dream 2.5 carat diamond engagement ring?
e. Act like a shy bride-to-be?

I blinked rapidly, my mouth slightly hung open as I looked at my boss. He squinted his eyes at me and mouthed ‘Shut up’.

What the he.ll is wrong with my boss?

It was complete silence for a while. I think I could even hear my own breathing. Then, like a scene from a corny Disney movie, the aunt started to clap happily, her eyes glistening with tears.

“Oh my God, I’m so happy for you, MinWoo-ah!” she said cheerfully and continued to clap, “It’s about time for you to get engaged. Why didn’t you tell us? I’m glad that I’ve brought your grandfather with me. He is waiting downstairs.”

Mr. Kwon’s eyes looked like it was about to pop out of its sockets. “Haraboji is here? Seriously?”

The aunt laughed. “Of course I’m serious. I’m going to call him up now,” she said and put out her cell phone. She dialled the numbers and talked to someone on the other line, “Appa, MinWoo’s home. He has great news to share with you. Turns out you will be a great-grandfather sooner than you think. Uh-huh. Okay. Bye.”

My jaw dropped to the ground. Great-grandfather? 
Was she implying that I would be pregnant soon?
I have only worked for him for two days and suddenly I was made his fiancée and have to bear children for him? Is this the way the city people asked for a woman’s hand in marriage? Make someone their maid and then out of the blue tell them, “Surprise, we’re engaged!”?

This makes no sense at all.

The aunt was looking at me with that wide smile on her face. I know she was judging me in her mind, contemplating whether I was good enough for her nephew. I’m going to show her how perfect I am. 

You know, I have this habit of making myself look pretty whenever people look at me. It’s a skill that I had learned through countless hours of looking at myself in the mirror. I opened my eyes wide so that my eyes would appear bigger. I smiled so that I could show off my left dimple. I stood up straight so that I’d appear taller and thinner. I looked down to my left so that I’d look like a shy girl. Yes, it was all high-grade skills.

“Kim SooJin is it?” the aunt said and I turned to look at her, “You’re really pretty.”

Yes, it’s working. Heh heh.
“Why, thank you!” I said shyly and from the corner of my eyes, I saw Mr. Kwon was about to gag.

“Excuse us, Aunt Mina,” y creature cleared his throat and said, suddenly grabbing my left upper arm, “but I have something to discuss with SooJin in private.” 

He dragged me to his bedroom and closed the door behind us. Then, he paced around in the bedroom, massaging his forehead. I think he’s still suffering from a bad migraine.

“Are you okay, Mr. Kwon?” I asked, out of sympathy. After all, he might be my fiancé.

“DO I LOOK LIKE I’M OKAY?!!” he burst out angrily, still pacing around.

Great, he’s still PMS-ing! 

“Mr. Kwon, err, what is this about us being engaged? Oh, I know! You’re planning a joke on your aunt isn’t it? Why didn’t you tell me sooner? I can pretend to be pregnant. She’d be even more mortified! Ha ha ha! Imagine that, me with a pillow in my belly to make me look pregnant. Hilarious!” I said and snorted out loud. 

Apparently, Mr. Kwon didn’t find that funny. He then stopped pacing, turned to look at me, shook his head, went to the wall and knocked his head on it for a few times.

“You should stop doing that, Mr. Kwon,” I said, “My mother said, those who knock their heads really hard can end up being a retard due to the brain injury. There was this naughty boy in my village and he stole a cow from this really scary ahjusshi. The ahjusshi threw a huge rock at his head and he ended up a retard, always trying to kiss cows. You don’t want to end up like that now, do you?”

Yes, it was a true story at my village. The boy is still trying to date cows.

“YOU’RE THE RETARD!” he quipped angrily, massaging his head. Then, he inhaled deeply. “Okay, Kim SooJin, I need you to listen to me carefully.” He shot me a glare.

“Yes, I’m listening,” I said cheerfully, flashing him my widest grin. “With both ears!” I said, flipping my ears with my hands to show how serious I was.

Mr. Kwon looked up to the ceiling and telepathically talked to God again. I didn’t know he was religious, always thinking of God. That makes him even more appealing.

“Okay, I need you to pretend to be my fiancée for a while. My grandfather and my aunt have been constantly on my back forcing me to go to the stupid marriage meetings. So, in order to get out of it, I need your help. Can you pretend to be my fiancée? It’s only going to be for a short while until they decide to stay out of my love life,” he said, fidgeting on his legs.

I frowned. 
Acting as someone’s fiancée? 
Man, it sounded more complicated that it really was.

“Err.. I don’t know,” I said. This is just like the wedding game that I used to play during my childhood days but since this involves another family, it makes it even more complicated. “I don’t think I can act that well. Besides, I’m really busy with college and housework. Luckily, Hana the microwave and Hani the vacuum cleaner help me a lot. If not, I don’t think I can finish all those housework,” I explained.

Mr. Kwon looked at me weirdly. “You’ve named my appliances? God, you’re beyond repair,” he said and shook his head. “Don’t worry Miss Kim, I’m willing to provide generous monetary compensation. How much do you want? Will 100000 won per day be enough?”

Holy sh1t! 
100000 won per day? In a month, I might even be able to buy a part of my village.

“Judging by that stupid dreamy look on your face, I can safely say that it’s agreed upon. I’m begging you Miss Kim, just don’t say a word. Let me do all the talking,” he said but I could barely hear him. 

I was already thinking about making Haneul as the supervisor of my large fruit farm. I would make my stupid brother and Kang JiWoon as my slaves, bossing them around until they would beg for my forgiveness and accepted the fact that I was DongHae Village’s gem. Imagine all the food I could get with the money! 

“Miss Kim, please stop drooling. It’s disgusting.”

***********************************

Mr. Kwon's grandfather was a plump old man in his late seventies and walked with a walking stick accompanied by his bodyguard. He must be filthy rich to even have a bodyguard. He had a bushy moustache, small eyes, tanned skin and wrinkled round face and he was wearing a suit with a round hat. To me, he looked like an old, scary magician but of course I wouldn’t tell it to his face. I wonder how Mr. Kwon’s mother and his aunt got the gorgeous looks. Judging by this old man’s looks, I bet the gorgeous genes was from Mr. Kwon’s grandmother.

I gave him a polite bow as he entered the house. He had the aura of someone powerful; everything ceased to exist once he was inside the house. Suddenly I felt that the apartment was too small, like it was closing in on me.

“Appa, meet MinWoo’s fiancée, Kim SooJin,” Aunt Mina said and pointed at me.

“Hmm..” was all that the old man said as he looked at me coldly when I gave him my widest grin. Now I know why y creature was such a poker face. This old man might be the one responsible for that. They were a scary duo. I bet he was even scarier than y creature.

We were seated at the couch in the living room. I sat beside Mr. Kwon while the grandfather and Aunt Mina were sitting opposite of us on another couch. The bodyguard, poor soul, had to stand like a statue beside the wrinkled old man.