Credit: xRiChan

|02| Magic

 

“What planet are you from?” - Kwon MinWoo
 

EXCERPT FROM KIM SOOJIN’S SIXTH GRADE DIARY

24 July – Dear Diary, when JiWoon doesn’t want to be my play-husband today, I hid behind a tree and threw pebbles at his head. He doesn’t know. He thought it was raining rocks. How stupid can the boy get? I’m glad he isn’t my play-husband.

25 July – Dear Diary, I want to become an astronaut when I’m older so that I can catch the sun’s golden rays. Why? Cuz it’s Gold. Ha ha! Get it? Yes, I’m just too funny. Sometimes, I think I can even be a comedian.

26 July – Dear Diary, Haneul asks me to eat a garlic salad. It tasted like sand. Bleukkkk!! By the way, I have a theory. I think mosquitoes used to be big and then when human had invented the mosquito coil, they become smaller and smaller until the current size. That’s why so many people died. I think I’m a genius. 

27 July – Dear Diary, I won the 100m relay today because I’ve put frogs inside ShiYoung’s shoes. That’s why she fainted before the race. Nobody will know about this, unless you tell them. Of course you can’t tell them because you’re not human. Besides, you don’t have a mouth. Boo-yah!

28 July – BOO-YAH!! Kim SooJin is a stupid retard!!! Dear Diary, my retarded brother read this. Now he’s blackmailing me to tell ShiYoung and JiWoon what I did. I told him I’ll tell the whole world that he still sleeps with a teddy bear. We finally came to a mutual agreement.

29 July – Dear Diary, today I egged JiWoon’s house because he says that he’ll never be my play-husband. When I grow up, I’ll definitely find an out-of-this-world gorgeous husband and flaunt at him. Who cares about JiWoon? Pftt.. He looks like a monkey with an anomaly anyways. Just you wait JiWoon, I’ll show you!!
 

******

Umma once said to me, “A hungry man is an angry one.” 

So, when my boss was screaming like a girl for me to get out of his room, I asked him, “Are you really hungry, Mr. Kwon?”

You know, since I figured, he must be extremely hungry, to be angry like that.

His face had turned purple, I swear to God. It was the first time I had seen people looking like that. I found out that, no matter how handsome you are, you will look really ugly when you’re angry.

Why was he so angry with me, anyways? It’s not like I had seen him . He was only from the waist up, so that doesn’t mean anything. Most of the ahjusshi’s at my village work with upper body anyways, although they don’t really possess the same six-packs as the y creature standing in front of me.

Am I drooling? 
I hope not.

“GET OUT!!” he yelled and pushed me out of the room before slamming the door to my face. 

Okay, so I had made my y boss pissed off like a maniac on my first day of work. 
This is not good, SooJin. NOT good! 

I waited patiently by the dining table for him to show up. Minutes later, he came out of his room with a grim face, looking hot as ever in a grey sweatpants and a black t-shirt. Some people are just born lucky; they can dress up in a paddy sack and still end up looking gorgeous.

He gave me a look; a look that says, ‘I’m firing your sorry a.ss!’
I gulped.

He stood at the living room, stealing a glance at the balcony, at the clothes still hanging there. Then, he looked at me with fire in his eyes. “Why are the clothes still there?” he asked. I swear I saw his nose breathing fire.

Shoot! I forgot to pick up his ‘precious’ clothes from the balcony. I was too absorbed in cooking.

“I’m sorry, Mr. Kwon. Here, I’ll pick them up now,” I said and rushed to pick up the clothes. He was still staring icily at me when I stood in front of him.

“Put them in the dryer,” Mr. Kwon sternly instructed.

“Sure!” I replied cheerfully.

Dryer? 

Huh, what the heck is that?
Dryer? Is it something to dry the clothes with?
Did he mean the sun?
Is he stupid? It’s already dark. The sun isn’t coming until tomorrow.

I was standing there, still in deep thought when his manly voice interrupted my train of thoughts. “Do you even know what a dryer is, Miss Kim?”

“Sure!” I replied enthusiastically, to show that I’m not the stupid girl that he thought I was.

“What is it, then?” he challenged and crossed his arms with his eyebrows raised.

“The sun, d’uh!” I said confidently with my widest grin.

y creature’s mouth dropped to the ground. I think he was definitely impressed by my intelligence. I bet he was already underestimating my IQ. He massaged his forehead, letting out a deep sigh.

“What planet are you from?” he mumbled, still massaging his forehead.

“Hey, I know that drama! I watched it too. Kim RaeWon is so handsome,” I gushed. Kim RaeWon was like my very first love. I can’t believe this y creature watched the same drama. “Why did you bring that up, Mr. Kwon? Did you watch it too?”

y creature apparently didn’t share the same sentiment as he repeatedly slapped his forehead, like a man who had just lost on gambling.

I feel kind of bad for him. Maybe he really had a bad migraine.

“I’m not talking about the freaking drama! I’m asking you, what planet are you from?!!!” he raised his voice when he said that.

“Earth, Mr. Kwon,” I replied.
This is like Basic Science 101.

“Godddddd!!!!!” he wailed like a wolf. “F.ck this! I’m going to call SooYoung. She’s so going to get it from me,” he said as he took out his cell phone and dialled the numbers. “Oh, by the way, Miss Kim, you’re fired,” he said casually, like firing people is what he does on a daily basis.

“What?!!!” I scoffed. “But why??”
I was so confused. I didn’t know what I did wrong.

“I’ll tell you why. Wait,” he said and put up his index finger, motioning for me to shut up as he said to the phone, “Miss Jung, it’s me Mr. Kwon. Get your a.ss down to my house immediately. I don’t care, I want you to be here NOW!” he was practically yelling to the phone.

I stood there like a zombie, with his damp clothes still in my arms, as I watched him pace around in the living room, muttering incoherent words angrily.

Man, I really hope that SooYoung can help me calm this creature down. 
Maybe, he’s just angry. Perhaps some food can calm him down.

“Mr. Kwon, why don’t you grab a bite first? Maybe you’re really hungry?” I said, in my second attempt to lure him to taste my cooking. I bet after tasting them, he’d have second thoughts on firing me.

“I DON’T WANT YOUR FREAKING FOOD!!” he yelled, like a boy throwing a tantrum. He was lucky that he was my boss. If he was someone else, I’d definitely take a slipper and hit his head.

Suddenly, y creature pointed towards the futuristic table in the storage room. “Do you know what that is?” he asked, looking a little hopeful.

“A futuristic table,” I answered hesitantly. I don’t think I’d ever be able to calm this creature down.

y creature threw his hands in the air and looked up to the ceiling. I think he was talking telepathically to God. Then, he plopped himself on the couch and stared at me.

I felt really uncomfortable being stared at like that. It was especially scary when the one staring looked like he wanted to cut you to pieces. Man, I need to get out of this mess.

I flashed him a smile. He still stared at me with fire in his eyes.

I was never more thankful when I heard the doorbell rang. SooYoung appeared a few minutes later, sweating like a pig. She looked like she had run all the way here.

“Sorry. Bus. Late. Sorry. Why. Mr. Kwon?” she panted. She was so out of breath.

“We need to talk,” Mr. Kwon said, motioning for her to follow him to the study room. “You stay here,” he said to me and I nodded solemnly. SooYoung gave me an apologetic smile as she followed the y creature. I heard the door being closed, probably because he didn’t want me to listen.

I heard his yelling a few moments later and was dead curious. I threw the clothes onto the couch and went to the door of the study room, placing my ear on the wooden door.

“...Seoul Superwoman.. Don’t fire.. Public think.. hate you... big figure.. contract.. good cook.” 

I couldn’t make out what SooYoung was saying. I tried to lean in closer but then what I could only hear were muffled voices. Then, it became quiet. I wondered what had happened.

Suddenly, my cell phone rang and I absent-mindedly picked it up.

“Miss Kim, please stop eavesdropping.”

***

Maybe SooYoung is a miracle worker.
Maybe Mr. Kwon is hugely indebted to her.
Maybe God was finally granting my wishes.

Either way, it was definitely a miracle.

Mr. Kwon suddenly decided to un-fire me and told me to forget the whole ‘firing’ thing which I gladly did. I even joked, “What fire? Pfft..” to which he glowered at me.

y creature didn’t take jokes very well apparently.

SooYoung gave me the whole Electrical Appliance 101 brief course. I found out that the futuristic table was actually a washing machine