“I’m fine.”

-Kim SooJin-

24 | Green Eyed Monster

tvn09’s Celebrity Gossip

Announcer A: Viewers, we’re very sorry to tell you that the much talked about appearance about someone from Seoul Superwoman’s past has been cancelled.

Announcer B: It’s like he’s suddenly having second thoughts.

Announcer A: Or maybe we didn’t pay him enough.

[Both laughs]

Announcer A: So tell me, don’t you find it weird that both of their pasts are appearing at the same time? Talk about bad timing for the couple!

Announcer B: You mean, Lee EunJae? [Announcer A nods] But she has disappeared! Even her father doesn’t know where she is I heard.

Announcer A: It would be great if we can have them both here, in the same place, to tell their stories. I’m sure the viewers are dying to know about them, don’t you viewers?

Announcer B: So viewers, please call and tell us, what do you think of that?

******************

After much thought and consideration, I finally came to the conclusion that it could not be MinWoo’s car speeding off earlier in the day.

Firstly, the black car was shiny black not dusty black like MinWoo’s. Mind you, the numerous trips to my village and having to pass through the dusty old roads would not have made it possible for his car to still be in its prime condition, right? So, yes, I’m convinced that the car was not MinWoo’s.

Secondly, how would MinWoo know where we were heading? Not to be bragging or anything, but I was quite the runner myself and the speed of lightning of my run had always been the talk of school back when I was younger so I doubt it that MinWoo could catch up with me and JiWoon. Although there is a slight possibility that he might be able to do so by using his dusty car (based on previous argument), it would be cheating and we all know how much MinWoo detest cheaters.

Yes, we might be cheaters ourselves with all the lies to Haraboji, Aunt Mina and basically the whole of South Korea but it’s for a good cause and everyone knows how white lies should always be forgiven.

Take this for example, what if a girl asks her boyfriend if she looks fat after she had gained 30kg and the boyfriend lied and told her that she looked as thin as a paper, we could never blame the guy for lying could we? I mean, he was basically telling this white lie because: a)to save his relationship, b)to stop himself from being tragically murdered by his girlfriend, and c)he loves her (awwww...). Clearly you don’t expect him to say something like “Frankly, you look like a bloated drunk elephant, honey”, right?

However, going back to MinWoo, him going on his car to chase after the super-lightning-speed me would be cheating and not a white lie and therefore, I don’t think MinWoo would ever do something as lowly as that.

Thirdly... Hmm.. Wait a sec, I got a ‘thirdly’ for this. I’m sure I got it. It must be hidden somewhere at the back of my mind. Hmm.. Oh yes, I got it! I knew I got it. Okay, so, thirdly.. Darn it! I had a ‘thirdly’. It was just right there and I’ve lost it. What’s the thirdly? Thirdly.. thirdly.. thirdly..

Well, it’s not like I really need a third evidence to conclude my theory. Just because there’s a ‘secondly’ doesn’t always mean that there should be a ‘thirdly’ after it, do they? I don’t need a ‘thirdly’ right?

Darn it, I need a ‘thirdly’. If not, I might go insane just thinking about it.

Ah hah!

Thirdly, remember, we were only make-believe. We are not really engaged to each other hence MinWoo running after me and JiWoon would never happen. I mean, we are both single. If he happened to run away with EunJae, I would not be running after him same like he would not be running after me and JiWoon. It is just plain simple. We are only make-believe. In fact, I’m totally fine if I ever catch MinWoo hugging EunJae. After all, they are the real couple, not me and MinWoo. Like I said, we are only make-believe. I am totally fine with MinWoo and EunJae hugging each other. I mean, why should I be angry or upset?

Right?

The hell I would be alright with it!

If I ever see him with her, I swear to God I would borrow one of Haraboji’s gun and kill them both right then and there. How could he be hugging other woman when he’s already engaged to me? When I’m already pregnant with his child?!

Okay, so maybe technically I’m not really engaged to him and I might not be pregnant, but EunJae doesn’t know that and she better behave herself than to ever try her charm on the father of my ‘bun’.

Frankly, if I ever catch them together, I would probably break every bone of her body.

But this is different. EunJae and MinWoo are past lovers whereas me and JiWoon are only friends. Can’t you see the difference?

So after all my lengthy and brilliant arguments, I hereby conclude that the black car speeding off on the road that I saw just now was not MinWoo’s.

I am totally convinced that it was not his.

Yes, I am!

I am!!

Oh, who am I kidding?

If I am so convinced, why am I having this crazy palpitation of entering the door of the Kwon Mansion? Why haven’t I entered the house ever since I had arrived here nearly half an hour ago? Why am I having this stupid tremor whenever I try to punch the passcode to the house?

Get a grip, Kim SooJin!

Breathe in. 1, 2, 3.

Fighting the urge to pee in my pants, I quickly punched in the passcode and entered through the main door of the mansion. It was quiet in the mansion, just like it usually was. I heard the vague sound from the television coming from the main living room so I headed there only to find Haraboji glaring at the screen, at the news of his archrival wanting some revenge.

“Haraboji, I’m home!” I shouted, breaking his trance.

Haraboji appeared slightly startled by my voice and when he turned to look at me, he looked a bit pale.

Oh, shucks!

I forgot that Haraboji was dying from a heart disease. My voice might lead to him having a sudden cardiac arrest.

“Haraboji, are you okay? Do you need CPR?” I gasped.

Haraboji blinked. “CPR?” he scoffed. “Why would I ever need that?!”

I breathed a sigh of relief. “Thank God you’re okay, I thought you were having a heart attack just now,” I muttered without thinking, “It would be gross if I need to give you CPR.”

Haraboji rolled his eyes. “You’re back, SooJin-ah?” he asked, suddenly sounding cautious, “Did you have fun with your friend?”

Is it just me or does Haraboji seem to know something?

He is definitely acting fishy.

“It was okay,” I shrugged, trying to act nonchalant, “I bought rice cakes!” I held up the plastic bag. “Is MinWoo home? He loves this,” I asked.

Haraboji shifted uncomfortably in his seat. “He’s in his room,” he said, clearing his throat, “He doesn’t seem to be in a good mood. Why not you go cheer him up?”

I blinked. He’s not in a good mood.

He couldn’t have seen us, could he?

Nah. That’s not possible.

“Okiedokie,” I said, “I’ll shove these in his mouth. That’s what he gets for being a grumpy little kid.”

Haraboji chuckled and shook his head. “Sometimes, I think you two are really meant for each other.”

“We are, Haraboji!” I winked cheekily at him and he chuckled. “Now, I have to find the grumpy little kid.”

“Good luck, SooJin,” Haraboji said softly just as I was leaving to MinWoo’s room.

Good luck?

For what, I wonder.

*****************

When I was four, I had accidentally broken Appa’s favourite vase after a game of chasing after my own shadow, a game made popular by the boy who did not want to grow up—Peter Pan. Nobody knew who was responsible for it but I had that tight knot in my stomach when I saw how upset it had made Appa. In my defence, I was only four and it was really hard chasing after your own shadow–you just wouldn’t be able to catch it no matter what you do. Anyways, that night, when Appa called me to see him at his garden, I had this weird feeling in my stomach, like I was about to vomit out flies. He was only calling me because he wanted to show me some beautiful blooming white roses that he had planted but it was me who was acting paranoid.

I still remember that weird feeling that I felt.

Today, the same feeling came back to haunt. It took me about 5 minutes before I could finally muster up the courage to open the door to his room. I didn’t know what to expect, especially since the image of him when I left with JiWoon kept replaying in my head.

That look in his eyes when I left.

I was greeted by the sight of MinWoo at the study table, looking intently at something on his computer. It was like he did not even realize that I had entered the room.

I cleared my throat loudly but he still did not budge. I faked a loud cough but again, it failed to catch his attention.

Frustrated, I took a deep breath and forced a smile on my face. “MinWoo! I bought you rice cakes!” I said, trying my hardest to sound like my usual cheerful self.

That managed to make him look up from his computer. However, the look that he had on his face startled me—it was a face void of any emotion. “You’re back?” he said monotonously as he averted his gaze back to the computer.

“Yes!” I said, still in my cheerful tone of voice. I held the plastic bag up high. “These are your favourites! Come, let’s eat!!”

“I’m busy,” he said, still in that monotonous tone.

I blinked hard. “No matter how busy you are, you still need to eat,” I pointed out.

MinWoo shook his head. “I’m busy. You can just eat with Haraboji.”

“But I bought this for you,” I whined, sounding like a child.

MinWoo looked at me. I thought I saw a flicker of something in his eyes for a brief second but it soon vanished. Suddenly, he looked so distant and cold—unlike the MinWoo who had made fun of my imaginary friend at the cafe earlier today. “I told you that I’m busy, SooJin. I have no time to eat the rice cake, do you understand?!” he raised his voice a little.

I blinked.

“Is this about me and JiWoon? Are you angry about that?” I asked.

“SooJin, I’m not angry,” he said.

Why wasn’t he angry? He should be!

“MinWoo, I can explain about JiWoon,” I said in a rush. I wanted badly to let it off my chest, “I wanted to see him because of something important—”

“SooJin!” MinWoo yelled. Then he breathed deeply—like trying to calm himself. “I don’t care why you want to meet with JiWoon,” he said, “I don’t want to know. It’s none of my concern.”

His words poked my heart like a thousand needles. Unbeknown to me, tears were starting to well up in my eyes.

So I was right, he did not care enough to run after me and JiWoon. It was none of his concern.

“But MinWoo, you need to listen to me,” I pleaded with desperation, “Just let me explain.”

MinWoo turned his attention back to his computer. “We are only a pretend couple, SooJin,” he said, “Your private affair is none of my business. Please leave me alone, I’m very busy.”

Only a pretend couple.

 I tried my hardest to keep the tears from falling but a single drop managed to escape and slid down my cheek.

“Okay, sorry for wasting your time,” I said quietly, “I’ll just eat this with Haraboji.” With that, I went out of his room and closed the door behind me. I leaned back against the door and wiped my tears dry—I did not want for Haraboji to see me crying.

We are only a pretend couple.

His words kept replaying in my head and tears had started to dwell in my eyes again. I took a deep breath and wiped them dry. I did not know why I was so upset by what he said when he was only telling me what I had known all along. Still, there was a tiny part of me that wished that he had forgotten about that—that he feels the same way that I do. Obviously, he doesn’t—he is still in love with EunJae.

Get a grip, Kim SooJin!!

I shook my head and took another deep breath. I had failed miserably in trying to hold back the tears so I figured that I needed to find someplace secluded to be alone, before Aunt