|27 – Courage|

He’ll die?

-SooJin

TEXT MESSAGES BETWEEN JIWOON AND SOOJIN

JiWoon: Are you okay?

SooJin: Of course, duh! Why won’t I be?

JiWoon: He left you for her, didn’t he?

SooJin: What the hell are you talking about?

JiWoon: I saw him running after her, SooJin. It’s all over the news.

SooJin: He’s just sorry for her.

JiWoon: But what about you? Isn’t he sorry for you?

SooJin: Stop minding over my business, JiWoon. I’ll take care of this.

JiWoon: Is he really worth the trouble?

SooJin: Yes.

***************

I am a fool.

Really, I am.

Okay, so I may not be the dumbest person on Earth because let’s face it— the crown had always belonged to my brother SungMin. He had once infamously written ‘No’ at the blank area beside where you have to either fill in Female or Male during his final English exam in high school. He was basically admitting that he was both a and a transgender.

Yes, that’s my brother, the dumb-.

But if that was what you were thinking then no, I didn’t mean that I was a fool like SungMin because he is just from another league of dumbness— I actually meant that I was a fool for believing in that y jerk again.

I mean, when I woke up this morning, he was already gone. ‘Mr. I’m Sorry’ had left me again, this time without notice. He didn’t even have the courtesy to let me know that he was going off again, probably to be with the love of his life. Although he did cuddle me to sleep last night, maybe he was doing it out of guilt.

Ah, to hell with him!

Today is going to be MY day.

I’m going to be all fabulous on TV later when I give out my speech. I will wow the entire nation and make them all my fans. Only then MinWoo will notice what he had been missing. I will look down on him from my high position of fame and glory while he begged profusely on his knees for my forgiveness.

At that time, I will tell him “Sorry, not at home”.

Hahahaha. I am such a genius. Seriously, why was I even thinking of becoming his maid?? I definitely deserved much better.

I can live without Mr. I’m Sorry.

I believe I can.

Yes. I can do it.

Oh heart, why do you hurt so much?

****************

Aunt Mina was being weird when I asked him where MinWoo was. I mean, I was just acting concerned about his whereabout, not that I really care. Not at all. I could not care less if he was going to be there during my moment of glory on stage.

Yes. Not an ounce of care would come from me about that jerk.

“Err.. he’s off to work early,” her eyes were avoiding mine, “Come eat this SooJin-ah. This is just so delicious.” She was basically shoving the dry toast inside my mouth.

I swallowed the toast and eyed her nervous self. She was tapping her hands softly on the table as if to calm down herself.

Then, I noted the newspaper partially hidden under her hands. I could see a picture of a man running after a man and the scene looked vaguely familiar.

“Hey, is that today’s newspaper? Can I read it?” I asked.

“Eh? This?” Aunt Mina’s gaze shifted down towards the newspaper underneath her hands and quickly put them on her lap. “This is yesterday’s newspaper. Now, now, eat more of this, SooJin!” she shoved the second toast inside my mouth.

I eyed her suspiciously and she was trying hard to avoid my scrutinizing gaze, as if afraid that she might blurt something out. Then it occurred to me that the newspaper must be in frenzy after what had happened between MinWoo, EunJae and me yesterday. The picture must be of MinWoo chasing after her lady love, like what JiWoon had told me earlier.

“If it’s yesterday’s newspaper, why are you keeping it at the table?” I asked.

Aunt Mina’s face paled all of a sudden. “Err, because the maid forgot to throw them away,” she answered nervously, her eyes wandering everyhere.

Aunt Mina as you can tell is the world’s worst liar—if you’re comparing her level to my highest level of deception. Yes, Aunt Mina is below amateur while I am the pro.

Truth be told, I actually pitied her for trying so hard not to hurt my feelings because of his dumb- nephew. I could see the sweat forming on her forehead and if I decided to just let this continue, I was afraid she might get a heart attack even before Haraboji does.

So out of pity, I decided to act nonchalant about the issue. I changed the topic of conversation to a lighter one—the charity event.

“Oh, it’s going to be great that you’re actually giving a speech there today, SooJin. You are truly the inspiration of so many young girls out there. I’m sure so many youngsters are going to follow in your footsteps and do more charity for the good of others,” her eyes were practically b with tears as she gushed this.

Right.

The charity event.

My speech.

Damn!

How could I forget?!

I was thinking about it this morning!

How could I think this would be a lighter subject?!!

This is definitely NOT light. If anything, it’s heavy—heavier than a bowl of rice when you try to hold it on your index finger for half an hour— not that I have tried doing such dumb thing anyways.

Giving a speech in front of the entire nation is intimidating, to say the least—even to the shameless like me.

Holy crap!

Now it was me with the sweat forming on my forehead and all of a sudden I was on the verge of a nervous breakdown.

“Oh my God, SooJin! Are you okay? Why do you look so pale?!” I could vaguely hear Aunt Mina’s voice.

“I’m fine. I just need to pee,” I said and was basically doing my Ussain Bolt sprint towards the toilet where I vomited out everything that I had eaten.

God, this is not turning out good.

***********

Aunt Mina had decided that it would be fun to dress me up for the occassion. She brought me to the fancy salon where all the rich and famous would frequent for some pampering. There, I was given a beautiful dress to put on. The whole thing must have cost a fortune but Aunt Mina did not seem to mind when she handed over her credit card to the cashier lady.

The whole experience had left me feeling and looking like a million dollars. It had made the whole thing a bit less intimidating as my confidence began to grow.

“I want you to dazzle them all today, SooJin,” Aunt Mina had said when we left the salon. She too was looking fabulous in her fancy dress and with her face all dolled up.

It was all fabulous, I tell you. I was given the complete red carpet treatment when I arrived at the event. Some people even screamed like lunatics once they saw me, shouting how much they love me and how much I have inspired them.

This must be how it felt when Cinderella had her glass slippers on when she met her prince.

There was a moment of confusion when a TV presenter at the red carpet interviewed me and asked me who I was wearing.

I mean, what kind of question is that?!

“It’s a dress. What do you mean who? How can I wear a human being? Don’t be stupid,”