Credits: miss_vicky

10| Clouds of Doom
 

“SooJin needs to sleep with you,”
-Umma

Seoul Daily, 2011-05-01
 

Snatch Thief: Seoul Superwoman is Not Human!
 

It has been a week since we last heard of Seoul Superwoman, the inspirational mystery girl who had emerged heroic after her exemplary deed of fighting off a snatch thief a few days ago. She had indeed become an overnight icon; she came up first in the Internet search engines and her fan club members, as of now, has reached to more than 10,000 members according to Naver. The President of this fan club, who only wished to be named Miss A (not in any way affiliated to the popular group from JYP Entertainment) said, “Seoul Superwoman, we will always support you. Please continue to take care of us,” with tears in her eyes.

Netizens have been asking the whereabouts of the said icon. It has been fruitless asking her to come forward and to introduce herself to the public. 

Yesterday, Seoul Daily has managed to get an exclusive interview with the snatch thief involved in the case and has gotten an inside scoop regarding the icon.

When met outside the Transformers exhibition in downtown Seoul, the snatch thief was quoted to say, “Seoul Superwoman is not human! The way she threw that shoe at me, I knew, she’s an alien. She’s not from Seoul!”

This shocking revelation has the netizens buzzing. All of them were asking the same question: Aliens, are they really among us? 

Watch out for any updates regarding this matter.

*SeoulDaily and its sister companies are in no way affiliated to the Transformers production company and its associates although we do accept free gifts.

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I wished my life had been nothing but a sitcom. Because if it was, no matter how deep the sh1t I’m in, when the director yells “Cut”, it would all be over and everything would be back to normal.

Unfortunately, this is the real life. I waited for the director to yell "Cut" but it was a futile wait. I looked around to search for a hidden camera, something that would be an indicator to me that all this craziness would end soon and I would be free again. But again, it was a futile search.

Yes, I’m doomed. 
The dark clouds of doom had been hovering over my head for a while now.

I fidgeted in my seat, gulping nervously as my gaze met with the stern features of Haraboji’s. Haraboji had just arrived a few minutes before and now he is being introduced to Umma by Aunt Mina.

“Aigoo, aigoo, what a handsome old man!” Umma gushed and I nearly choked on my saliva. Haraboji’s eyes looked like they were about to pop out. I guess Umma didn’t realize that she was complimenting and ridiculing him at the same time.

And she said Haraboji was handsome?
My Umma really needs to get her eyes checked. 
I stole a glance towards Mr. Kwon’s direction and I saw him ‘talking’ to God again. 

Aunt Mina let out a feminine laugh. “You’re so funny, Mrs. Kim,” Aunt Mina said.

“Call me YeJin,” Umma said.
“YeJin,” Aunt Mina repeated.

I saw Haraboji fidgeted in his seat as he casted Umma a cold, long stare, as if trying to figure her out. 

“Haraboji, how do you keep your bushy moustache so neat?” it was Haneul’s turn to make an idiot out of herself.

Haraboji blinked rapidly at her. “I trim it regularly,” he said.

“Oh, no wonder!” Haneul exclaimed in awe while I rolled my eyes.

It amazed me that Haraboji was even willing to answer that ridiculous question. I think Haraboji was too dumbstruck by the eccentric behaviours shown by both of them that he decided it would be best for him to just cooperate.

I saw Haraboji stealing a glance my way; probably trying to get me all figured out. I bit my lips, praying silently that things wouldn’t be weirder than it already was.

Haraboji cleared his throat awkwardly. It was the first time that I had seen him acting so awkward, like he didn’t know just how to behave.

“YeJin-shi,” Haraboji said, “How about we discuss the future of these two? Since SooJin is pregnant, I’m thinking of holding a wedding ceremony for them next month before her belly shows. It would be disrespectful to the other elderly if she’s getting married with a pregnant belly.”

“Let me get this straight,” Umma said, scratching her chin thoughfully, “You mean there are other elderly in this family besides you? You’re not the oldest one in this family? How old are they going to be? 100 years old?”

“I-I beg your pardon?” Haraboji said.

Again, Haraboji’s eyes looked like they were about to pop out and Mr. Kwon turned up to talk to God again. 
I closed my eyes and sighed deeply.

Only Aunt Mina was enjoying the whole thing. She clapped her hands and giggled excitedly, “Aigoo, you’re just too funny YeJin-shi.”

Umma looked slightly puzzled by Aunt Mina’s statement but grinned at her anyways. “I try to be,” she said, laughing along with Aunt Mina. 

I rolled my eyes.
This day is going to be a long day indeed.

Haraboji tried clearing his throat once again, probably trying to get the two middle aged ladies to focus back to what he was discussing but his attempt was interrupted by a loud shriek like a hyena, coming from none other than Haneul. She had just picked up today’s newpaper from the coffee table and was reading the front page story.

“There’s a real life superhero here in Seoul,” she shrieked excitedly, “Apparently, she’s really good at throwing shoes to a thief. She sounds like you, SooJin-ah. Haha. They’re calling her the Seoul Superwoman.”

“Really? There’s such a thing?” I asked. I was never the keeping-up-to-date-with-the-current-news type of girl so I couldn’t be bothered to read the newspaper, unlike Mr. Kwon. 

Seoul Superwoman?
I wonder why I felt like I had heard of the name before. Must be something I had heard other people gossiping about in the bus.

“You mean you don’t know?” it was Aunt Mina’s turn to chirp in, “She saved someone from a snatch thief. Oh, she sounds so cool. Apparently, her identity is still a mystery. She has thousands of fans now.”

I saw Mr. Kwon fidgeting in his seat. Either he doesn’t like listening to some superhero story or he’s dying to pee, I couldn’t quite tell.

“Oh, it’ll be good if I can meet with her. She sounds amazing,” Umma gushed dreamily, her eyes twinkling.

Haraboji cleared his throat loudly, trying to catch our attention. “Can we go back to what I was saying just now?” he said in that stern voice of his.

Umma immediately looked at him; she looked like a kid being scolded by the principal. “Y-ye-yeah, sure,” Umma stuttered.

I hid my smile behind the back of my hand. It was kind of funny to see Umma squirming in her seat like that. I wonder what kind of other nonsense she will sprout after this.

“So, what do you think, YeJin-shi?” Haraboji asked.
“About...?” Umma’s voice trailed off inquisitively.

Haraboji looked at Umma. Umma blinked at Haraboji.
I think Umma had forgotten what Haraboji was saying.

“About the wedding?” Haraboji said impatiently.

Umma blinked for a few times before the information finally sank in her brain.
I stole a glance at Mr. Kwon, hoping that he’d put a stop to all this madness before it will go even further but to my dismay, he was listening to them attentively without saying a word.

I thought he said he was going to fix everything!

“Ah,” Umma finally said after a few seconds of silence, “I can’t talk about this without my husband. How about I discuss with my husband first before we come to a decision?”

Haraboji gave Umma a piercing stare and I saw her gulped nervously. “I’m sorry I didn’t make it clear, YeJin-shi,” he said, his voice raised, “I wasn’t giving you an option. I was only letting you know that the wedding will happen next month and as one of the parents of the bride, I thought it would be best if I break the news to you in person.”

I swear to God, Haraboji sounded like the Darth Vader cartoon I’ve always watched on TV; intimidating and full of evil.

Umma’s mouth opened and closed a few times. I think she had lost all her voice after hearing what Haraboji was saying.

“Haraboji!” Mr. Kwon protested which took me by surprise. I thought he was only going to listen to everything that Haraboji was saying.

Haraboji turned to give Mr. Kwon an icy stare. “Don’t you dare say a word! This is all your fault! I’ve already tried to match-make you with a lot of proper girls but you decide to ruin your own life by making SooJin pregnant. What a disgrace!” Haraboji roared, “Furthermore, you should be thankful that I’m even willing to let you two get married. I don’t know why you want to get involved with socially inept people like them.”

“Omo..” Aunt Mina gasped.
Umma was fanning herself, trying to cool herself down. 
I gulped nervously.
Only Haneul wasn’t perturbed by all the things happening. She was deeply engrossed in reading about Seoul Superwoman to even care.

It was dead silence.

Mr. Kwon and Haraboji were immersed in a battle of cold staring. I could almost see the laser beams from their eyes.

Suddenly, Mr. Kwon stole a glance towards the newspaper that Haneul was reading and a smirk appeared on his face. From the look of it, I knew he was going to say something concerning me and I bet it wouldn’t be good, just like the bun in the oven thing.

“Haraboji, have you heard about the Seoul Superwoman?” Mr. Kwon asked and the rest of us groaned. Him asking about the children’s hero was totally anticlimactic. We were anticipating some war of tongue and the best he could do was asked about the stupid superhero?

He is kind of dense.

Haraboji’s eyes looked like they were about to pop out again. “YOU’RE SERIOUSLY ASKING ABOUT THAT NOW?!!” he barked.

Umma and Aunt Mina jumped a little in their seats, surprised by the loud roar. I turned to look at Mr. Kwon.

“So you’re still against me marrying SooJin? I thought after knowing that she’s pregnant, you’d actually agree to my choice. You’re still as controlling as ever,” Mr. Kwon said.

I may be imagining things but I thought I sense a glint of sorrow in his voice. He might be doing all this to rebel against Haraboji just so that he can live his own life but from the way I see it, Haraboji is still not going to let him free.

“How can I not control your life when you’re always running away from marriage? Yet, all of a sudden you’re saying that you’re already engaged to a country girl, one who doesn’t look fit enough to become a Kwon. Her mother is evidence enough that she’s going to be a disgrace to this family,” Haraboji said, “Besides, how can I know that she’s not getting pregnant just to lure you to marry her? What if she is only in this for the money?”

I am in this for the money, I thought as I glanced at the ring which dazzled on my finger.

“Hey!” Umma protested, “SooJin is not going to be a disgrace!”
“Umma!” I hissed and motioned for her to be quiet. 

Umma bit her lips and gave Haraboji a murderous glare.

“What about Seoul Superwoman? Will she be a disgrace too?” Mr. Kwon asked, folding his arms in front of his chest as he gave Haraboji a rebellious stare.

Haraboji’s fierce stare seem to pierce through Mr. Kwon and he tapped his walking stick to the floor impatiently. “She won’t be a disgrace. In fact, she’ll be good to the family’s image,” he his moustache, looking thoughtful, “Yes, she’ll be a good image boost for you. People won’t think that she’s marrying you for money since she has such noble quality. Unfortunately, no one knows who she is.”

Mr. Kwon’s smile grew. “How would you feel if I tell you that Seoul Superwoman is actually my fiancée?” he asked.

Haraboji stared at his grandson, trying to figure him out. Even I was puzzled by the sudden change of topic to Seoul Superwoman when just a few minutes ago, they were debating about the wedding. I don’t know what other lies he was going to tell Haraboji at the moment. I can’t seem to figure out what is going on in his mind.

“If that is the case, I will happily plan for your wedding with her,” Haraboji said. His stern features seem to have softened a little by that statement, “Anyone other than her.” He looked at me, his eyes ridiculing me with unspoken mockeries.

I looked down to my lap, tapping my fingers nervously.

“So it’s settled then. Haraboji, I’ve something to tell you,” Mr. Kwon smiled, “Seoul Superwoman is my fiancée.”

Everyone gasped loudly. 

Aunt Mina’s eyes looked like they were about to pop out. Umma blinked rapidly, looking ba