Chapter 20: I Love You

{ Jen’s POV }

He knew.

He looked at me with those eyes. I shrugged, “You should sleep.” I rewrapped the blankets on him. He shook his head, “Do you still love me, Jen?”

Yes, Taekwoon.

I wanted to say yes, but somehow my tongue was frozen out of words. Even I couldn’t give a single nod to answer that question. My lips parted, like I was going to give him a word, but no words came out. He waited. I still couldn’t give him a reply. I didn’t know what happened to me, it happened just like that. I blamed myself for this. He turned his body, facing me. I held my breath. He moved closer and I didn’t want to avoid him. It was the first time we got into a very close distance since the day I got into accident. I craved for his touches; I craved for every soft word he used to say to me every day. I craved for his lips.

His face was just a centimeter from mine. Even his nose already touched mine. He looked at me, those eyes became weaker. I wanted to kiss him as much as I wanted him to kiss me. But then, he sighed and leaned back to his previous position, like he was trying to avoid me after tried to get closer—I thought. He shrugged, and tightened his blanket, “I should sleep.”

“Why?” I asked.

Taekwoon sighed, “Why what?”

“You don’t want to kiss the lips that had already been kissed by your group-mate?” I laughed sarcastically, then blamed myself because I was that harsh to him, although it wasn’t my intention but I felt guilty and seeing him next to me but I couldn’t say how much I wanted him to kiss me was just too painful. He closed his eyes, “Those lips are forever mine. Besides, it wasn’t kiss, between you and Ken.”

“Then why?”

“I wanted to kiss you, Jen. But I don’t want you to get infected my flu,” he said simply. He sneezed again and rubbed his red nose; I bit my lips because it was hard for me to stand looking at him sick like his. He smiled, “I will get better by tomorrow. Don’t worry.”

I nodded, “Go sleep.”

“Stay next to me, Jen. Don’t go anywhere.”

“I’m here, Taekwoon.”

I looked at him—who was sleeping as soon as he closed his eyes. He didn’t know how much I wanted to stay next to him every night, to reduce his tiredness, to cherish him, to give him more strength to walk through the hard days he would always have as an idol. He didn’t know how much I wanted to hug him and reassure him that everything would be okay, no matter that happened, whatever it took I would always a step behind him, ready to catch if he was going to fall.

He didn’t know how much I loved him,

Yet.

//

{ Hakyeon’s POV }

We were heading to that apartment. Glad Ken knew where it was. I had to found Leo today unless I wanted VIXX to end here. Because the others had no schedules, we decided to go there together, the five of us. Hongbin looked worry and Ravi was busy to reassuring him that his favorite hyung will be okay. The most unexpected thing happened was when we arrived in the apartment, we saw Junhee—in front of the door, she was about to press the bell button. She turned her head, “O-oh, you are here.”

“Of course. Do you think we are going to let you and your plans ruin our dreams? I’m sorry, Junhee but I can’t,” I replied, smirked to her. She smiled bitterly, “I apologize for jump into VIXX picture in the first place, but I need to get my best friend’s happiness back.”

“Your best friend’s happiness, uh? You gotta be kidding me, Moon Junhee. Girl that you called as your best friend was almost got us fall apart!” I yelled.

Hongbin pulled me, “Hyung, it’s not the right time for this.”

“You guys almost fall apart? Well, blame your friendship and whatsoever you-called-as-group-loyalty! Not me,” Junhee chuckled. “For your information, it’s not me who ask Ken to fall in love to Jen, remember? And, let me remind you one thing, Cha Hakyeon, just because you are the leader, doesn’t mean you can control your members’ feeling, well, you are not the one who pays them, anyway.”

I grinned my teeth. I could see Ken bowed his head down.

She whispered, “Put yourself on Taekwoon’s shoes, please. Do you think it is easy for him? Did you ever ask him, how much he was suffering since his debut? Did you ever put a concern to Taekwoon why is he being that quiet? Oh, I’m sorry, I forgot that you want to be the only one who well-known as cheerful and bubbly leader, huh?” she put a higher note of her voice, smirking.

“Shut up!” I yelled again.

“Junhee noona please stop this,” begged Hyuk.

//

{ Jen’s POV }

I rubbed my eyes, open them slowly. I stunned on my state. I woke up in his arms; he even put one side of his cheeks on my head. I looked up to see if he already woke but as soon as I saw his closed eyes, I sighed happily. He was still sleeping soundly. I hoped the medicines work well so he could feel better today. I stared at his face.

I remembered I used to call the face of his as a very cruel thing from a creature like him. I couldn’t read what was on his mind, as I usually could do to other people. His eyes were a pair of beautiful dark colored marble which would blink every time he got nervous. I his hair softly, black and healthy. I caressed his cheek and whispering, “Taekwoon, are you happy?”

No answer. Of course, he was sleeping.

I stared at his nose; and I loved to kiss the tip of it. I loved it when he grumbled after I kissed his nose; he always wanted me to kiss his lips instead of his nose. But his nose was such a breathtakingly pretty as well as his pink small lips. People would never expect that a guy with a straight and serious face like Taekwoon had a very soothing voice. It lulled me into the best of calm state of mind. I wasn’t sure if the angels of heaven had this kind of voice that I would never, ever trade it for anything in this world.

I felt so sorry for his fans; who would never know the other side of him. The heartwarming Taekwoon—not the shy and scary as they had always seen in TV screen. Call me selfish or over-protective but I hoped his fans would never discover that. I got jealous, of course, I was a normal girlfriend after all.

I kissed Taekwoon’s neck, hoping it wouldn’t make him awake, “I love you, Taekwoon.”

At the same time, there were noisy people outside. Because I was worrying it might awakening Taekwoon, I got up to see who were they—I planned to scold those kids, swear to them if it necessary.

I left the bed slowly, and tip-toeing to the front door.

//

{ Hakyeon’s POV }

Junhee was about to replying Hyuk but she stood still when the door opened ajar. Jen rolled her eyes, after saw us, “. Can you lower you voice? Taekwoon is sleeping.”

“S-sleeping?” Ravi and Ken said in the same time.

Jen nodded, “He caught a cold and flu. Get in, but don’t make any noise.”

Junhee glared at me, “Your vocalist is freaking sick.”

“Junhee,” Jen called her and Junhee shut immediately. We came in and sat in the living room, the bedroom where Taekwoon slept was closed. Jen brought six cans of soda and handed them to us, “I’m sorry for made you worry.”

“Is Leo hyung okay?” asked Hongbin.

Jen nodded, “He’s okay. But I think it will be better if you bring him to hospital.”

“You should phone me yesterday, Jen,” I said. She looked at me, felt guilty, “I’m sorry Hakyeon. He didn’t allow me to do it. I wanted to call you but he insisted to stay here for a night. He said that he would be okay.”

“But he is not okay!!” I yelled again—and Ken nudged me, reminded me to stop yell because Leo was sleeping. Jen let another sigh out, “I know, Hakyeon. I’m sorry.”

“Sorry won’t make everything better! VIXX need Leo! We agreed on this matter because you friend said that it has nothing to do with VIXX but can you see now? You ruined everything! VIXX is Leo’s dream too, you know that right? But what did you do to Leo’s dream, huh?” I whimpered, pointed to the girl next to her.

She moisten her lips, “I’m sorry, Hak—”

“Can you stop yelling to Jen! Before with VIXX, Taekwoon was belong to Jen! He always is. You can’t blame Jen for this!” Junhee tried to defending Jen. I chuckled, “W-what? You are not living in the past, Junhee! Face the reality! There is no way Leo can date, he is an idol!”

“Hyung,” Hongbin cut the words. All the eyes looked into him. Hongbin sighed, “I know Hakyeon hyung is trying to say that VIXX is important and we need Leo hyung back, this is our dream together, our promise to reach the top. But it would be better if we don’t blame Jen noona for the things she didn’t do.”

//

{ Leo’s POV }

I heard Hakyeon’s voice. Felt like he was yelling. Wait, I thought I was sleeping in my apartment but why did Hakyeon’s voice was here? I opened my eyes slowly, so the dizziness in my head didn’t spread though it felt like killing me. There was no Jen next to me. I got up and looked for something distracted my sleep and where Jen was. As I opened the door, I saw VIXX members sat in the living room, with Junhee and Jen. Hakyeon was there, yelling out to Jen. Like over and over, I could see his anger.

I heard what they were talking about. Was Hongbin defended Jen? I knew he was being objective but he sounded like he was defending Jen for me.

Jen eyes turned to mine, she realized that I woke up and she stood up, walking toward me, “Oh, Taekwoon, I’m sorry to waking you up like this.”

I shook my head, “You guys are freaking too loud.”

She helped me—Hyuk and Ravi ran to me and help me to walk to living room, “Hyung are you okay?” asked Ravi. I nodded, “I’m okay. You guys should be thankful because Jen took care of me very well.”

Hyuk smiled a little, “Thanks noona.”

“Let’s go to see the doctor, Leo,” Hakyeon stood up. Ken added, “Our manager is heading here, he already made an appointed with our regular doctor, hyung. You better go to hospital.”

“I’m okay,” I said.

Junhee hissed, “Damn you, Taekwoon. Do you want Jen to get all the blame because they think that Jen made you like this? Just go to doctor! And go live your damned idol life!” she pulled Jen from my side and she glared at me, “I should’ve known that you are only a trouble for Jen!”

“Junhee, it’s fine, I’m okay,” Jen said, she was trying to calm down the other girl.

Hakyeon took his phone, “I’ll call the manager to come faster. We need to do some rehearsal too, Leo just need to get proper rest in hospital before we do the recording for tomorrow.”

“Hakyeon, listen to me,” I cut his words. Hongbin bit his lips, he looked at me—full of worries in his eyes, “I’m okay Bin-ah, don’t worry. It’s just flu and a slight fever.”

Hakyeon turned his head to me, “What?”

“I will listen to all the things you want me to do, but please, can you apologize to Jen and Junhee for all the harsh words you said to them?” I asked, softly. Ravi and Hyuk blinked their eyes, waiting for Hakyeon’s respond.

Hakyeon gasped.

Ken sighed, “I’m gonna fetch the manager at basement.”

“Say that you’re sorry for blaming them. I’m so grateful Hakyeon, for being part of VIXX. You are someone I respect, so please, don’t let my respect disappear just because you blame girls who made me Leo today,” I added.

Junhee bit her upper lip, “Taekwoon..”

“If it wasn’t Junhee, I would never find Jen anymore. I wouldn’t get the half of my soul back. If it wasn’t Jen, I wouldn’t be Leo, if she wasn’t there to support me, I wouldn’t be here, I might never had a courage to grab my dream to be a singer. I wouldn’t be a part of VIXX. Hakyeon, if I want, I could send my resignation letter to Jellyfish like right now and stop being idol—” I said,

Jen jumped off shock, “No, Taekwoon! You can’t!!”

“See, I’d like to spend my whole life with her but she would never allow me. Music is important to me, as much as how she is. VIXX is like a family to me, more than that—we are more than just colleagues. She is a home for me, somewhere I belong. How could I abandon my family and my home? When they supposed to give me the strength?” I asked Hakyeon.

The leader gasped, he glued. He never thought I would talk that long—I guess.

Hongbin bowed his head down, “Jen noona, Junhee noona, thank you for all you did for our Leo hyung. I know my gratitude towards you would never pay them back, but please continued to take care our main vocalist.”

Hyuk copied Hongbin, and Ravi added, “We are sorry for all the troubles we made.”

“Y-you don’t have to do such a thing, Hongbin, stop bowing guys, oh,” Jen panicked, she patted the shoulders of the maknaes one by one. Hakyeon bit his upper lip, “Jen.. euhm Jen, I’m sorry. I don’t mean to hurt you by the words. I just—I want to keep our dream out of insecurities.”

Junhee rolled her eyes, “Said the leader.”

Hakyeon grinned, and Jen nudged Junhee, “I said I’m fine, Junhee, stop being that mean to him. Hakyeon is sorry and VIXX is important, I understand why he said such harsh words to us. He is the leader, after all. He needs to protect the group.”

I smiled. I knew I never chose the wrong girl.

Ken came with the manager who puzzled with the condition of the apartment—moreover there are two girls around us. He looked at me and I could feel he sighed out of ease, “Oh dear God, I’m glad you are okay, Leo. We’ve been worrying you like crazy, you know.”

“I’m sorry.”

He turned his head to Junhee and Jen, “W-who are they?”

Ken giggled, “Don’t you remember this girl? Leo’s cousin!” he pointed at Junhee. The manager nodded, “And she is….” Asked him, looked at Jen. Ken smiled, “A beautiful girl. Can’t you see it yourself, manager hyung?”

“I know she is beautiful, I mean, what is her relationship with Leo, or maybe with you guys?” he looked at me confusedly. I cleared my throat, changed the topic, “Hyung, can I stay here one more night? I don’t need a doctor. I promise I will be okay tomorrow.”

“But Leo—” he was about to decline my request when Jen pulled me out from the living room and we entered the bedroom and she closed the door. She let another sigh out, “Please, go see the doctor.”

“But I don’t wa—”

She kissed me to shut me up.

//

{ Jen’s POV }

I kissed him. Finally I did.

He was frozen, but I didn’t care. He kissed me back—as he hugged me tight like he didn’t want to let me go. I was crazy over these lips, I addicted to his soft and pink lips. I craved for his hugs for like every second. He smelled so good—though I could felt the bitterness of medicine he took through his tongue, but it was fine. I still could taste the sweetness of his lips. His hands were on my waist, I wrapped my arm around his neck. This was exactly the picture of us, when we were in love.

I didn’t care if this kiss could infect his flu viruses to my body. I didn’t mind at all, it was worth for it. Five minutes kiss between us would never be enough. His touch was such a magnetic; I could never get tired of it. He whispered my name softly, right into my ears. His voice was a magic, he put a spell on me. I would never get over him—not even for a second.

“Go see the doctor,” I said, after he released his lips from mine.

He looked at me, with those sparkling eyes. I smiled, “You know I will always proud of you, Taekwoon.”

He didn’t even say a word to reply me. He pulled me into his embrace once again, this time he hugged me even tighter, “I don’t want to be an idol...”

“You made your decision to be an idol. I made my decision to wait for you back here, to my arms, until we can cuddle every night, talking about the sky and the stars. Do you remember which star is the brightest one?” I asked.

He replied me softly, “Sun?”

“Moron. It’s you.”

“Jen...”

“I loved you, Taekwoon. I love you. I will always love you, and I won’t stop even though you ask me to,” I said, touched his face with both of my hands. Taekwoon bit his lips. I knew he was holding back his tears, so I kissed his left cheek, “I’m fine with waiting. I really am.”

“Until the day I can show to the world that I love you?” Taekwoon asked.

I nodded, “Until that day.”

i added the epilogue! :D