Chapter 14: Everything

{ Ken’s POV }

I was heading to the restaurant Jen wanted me to come. It was not too far from Jellyfish headquarter, so right after we finished all the practices and exercises, I went out.

She was wearing a cute dress—it was ocean blue colored, with a hairband. It was totally different with her style before, and it was incredibly cute. I thought I know what was Leo’s first impression of this girl.

“Sorry for making you wait for too long,” I said, as I pulled out a chair and sat. She smiled, “What do you want for dinner? My treat.”

“Thanks, Jen, we’re on diet. We can’t have any dinner,” I said.

Jen rounded her lips and nodded, “Okay. But juice is okay, right? I’ll order you mango juice. You like it.”

I shook my head, “No.” She kept mentioning all Leo’s favorites as mine. What’s wrong with this girl’s brain, seriously.

She looked pretty shocked. I smiled, “I’d love to have orange one,”

“Oh, okay.”

I looked at her, as soon as the waitress got our orders and left our table. She smiled, “How’s your day? Pretty good?”

“Yeah.”

“Ken, can you stop act like Leo?”

“Like what?”

“Talk is cheap, why don’t you talk as much as I know Ken in all those videos? You seemed like you enjoy talking there,” she said, I could see her disappointed face.

I sighed, “I’m just tired, Jen. Sorry.”

“Ken, am I the only one who just knew about Leo? That he was my boyfriend,” she started to talk about the main topic she want to talk with me. I looked down, refused to see through her eyes.

She reached my wrist, “Ken.”

“Feel it. See it. Believe it. You don’t have to remember, you have to feel it, Jen. It doesn’t matter if you can’t remember. To know your own feelings is the only way out,” I said.

She bit her lips, held my hand even tighter—I swear she needed to know that what she did just made everything even harder for me, “Why didn’t you tell me about Leo when I hugged you at the hospital?”

I let a deep sigh out, “I said, feel it, Jen. Look around, everything is there. You only need to understand what’s been on your heart.”

“Ken, look at me.”

I looked her. I saw those eyes.

“Ken, I don’t understand this,” she said. “I’m sure that it was you, someone I saw in my dream. I’m sure that it was yours, the voice I love the most. I can’t understand my own life. Please tell me that you’re my boyfriend, Ken. Not him. It would be easier for me.”

I remained silent.

Jen, I wanted to be. As much as you wanted me to say so but then again, Jen, whatever this story might end—there would be someone who got hurt, whether it’s me, you, or Leo. In this world we called life; there was always someone who has suffered to make another one happy.

//

{ Leo’s POV }

She walked in to the living room. I turned my head, it was already 12 in the night and she just got home. She was looking at me with unbelievable looks, asked right away, “You here?”

“Hm.”

She took a place next to me, pretended that she was watching the TV program, whilst saying, “I still can’t remember you. Isn’t that hurt you?”

“It is.”

“Then why don’t you stop asking me to remember?” she asked without looking at me. If I could say how much her words hurt me, it feels like someone stabbed me with a sword.

I gave her a bitter smile, “Because I don’t want to.”

“You know I can’t guarantee this at all. Even you are here with me, you’re just a stranger to me,” she added.

“I know, Jen. Even though this is so hard to do, I still have the same feelings to you. I’m holding onto them, that’s why I won’t stop to try,” I replied.

“Which one do you love the most, the old Jen or Jen who is sitting next to you right now?” she asked, finally turned her head to look at me. I smiled, “I don’t care which Jen. As long as it’s Jen, I love her the most.”

“Leo, I don’t love you.”

I gasped. She stood up, and I didn’t have enough courage to stop her. It was like I lost the world I’ve been trusted in. She said the words I never thought I would heard from her. Until she almost reached the front door, I ran and hugged her from the back. My legs were trembling—as my hands were shaking. I buried my head to her hair.

“—Leo,”

“It’s okay if Jen doesn’t love Leo. Because Jen loves Taekwoon,” I whispered.

We stayed like that for more than ten minutes. How I wish I could stop the time, I would like to hold her like that forever. I wouldn’t let that body go—not for the twice.

//

{ Jen’s POV }

“Good morning,” he greeted me while smiling.

I rubbed my eyes and the sunlight went through the curtain he opened as soon as I tried to up from the bed, “Good morning.”

“Do you want something for breakfast?” he offered his right hand to help me. I got his hand and went up completely, “You better go to your dorm, it’s already 8.”

“It’s fine. I have a day off today. Shall we go to supermarket and cook together? We used to cook egg soup for breakfast and stir some tuna with potatoes and carrots,” he continued.

I blinked, “Leo what happened with you?”

“Eh?”

“You talk more,” I said. Leo giggled, “I always talk more when I’m with you. It’s a rule you made.”

“Me?”

“Ya.”

I nodded as I heard his short answer. He handed me a towel, a blue one. It smelled lavender and he said, “Go take a bath. I’m going to clean up the bedroom. Better go now, you smell.”

I chuckled, “I smell what?”

“You smell sweet.” He added, smiling widely so I could see his bunny front teeth, they’re so white and his pinkish lips made them whiter.  I didn’t get why he preferred to be all-go-silent in the group. He got a very sincere smile, bunny smile.

“What?” he asked. He caught me staring at him.

I shook my head and walked in the bathroom, “Nope.”

He acted like there was nothing happened last night. He cried, I swear I heard him sobbing while back hugged me. I made someone cry, it was a not-a-good-thing-to-remember. He gave me his day off time to accompany me, when he should sleep all day long to replace the very tiring hours he spent for practicing. But he was here, with me.

“—Leo,” I called him after I turn off the water taps. “I forgot to take my undies. Can you just go to another room?”

No responds. I thought he was away from bathroom, so after wrapped my body from chest to knee with the towel, I rolled the doorknob ajar and I got shocked when I saw Leo standing there, with clothes and undies both on his hands.

“Here, I still remember you always forgot to get your stuffs with you to the bathroom every time you take a shower,” Leo smiled.

I smirked, taking my things from his hands, “Thanks.”

“By the way, I chose your favorite lingerie,” he added.

My face turned red. Did I even show him which one is my favorite lingerie in the past? This was really embarrassing. He patted my head, “You showed me everything, Jen.”

“E-everything?” my voice almost cracked.

He nodded, “E-very-thing.”

“Including…” I looked at my own body and Leo laughed like an excited kid, “You even asked me to hook your bra wires when you found it difficult to do it yourself or when you were—”

“Ugh enough Leo!” I slammed the bathroom door in front of him.

Really! This was embarrassing. How could he say those things so easily like it was nothing? Aaargh. Where I should put my face after this? I wasn’t sure I could hide my red face. OMG.

“Jen are you okay?” he knocked the door.

“No!!” I shouted.

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s embarrassing you know!” I replied him. He continued with stiff tone, “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t say it. But would you come out, Jen? I need… I need to pee.”

I opened the door and laughing so hard. He needed to pee. I laughed even more while he walked in quickly. He’s been held it for a quiet long, I guessed.

“Don’t laugh,” he said, inside the bathroom. 

“I won’t.”

“You’re laughing.”

“Sorry.”

“Stop laughing, Jen.”

“I will.”

“You still do it,”

“Sorry!” I ran to the bed room so he wouldn’t hear my laughs. I didn’t know the reason why I laughed that hard, but to know that he needed to pee, I found it hilarious. Moreover after bra thingy and hello, he was an idol—it was a rare thing to see Leo’s expression while holding his need to pee.

I swear, he was cute.

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