---GD's POV---

"You can't let her die...EunMi! Please! You can't let her die." 

"GD...you need to leave now...Taeyang please get him out of here, we can't do our job if he's here." Eunmi was yelling frantically as she and her medical team worked to save MiRae. They had started CPR at this point and me....I crumbled.

"GD, come on." YB said grabbing me by my arms attempting to pull me out of the room.

"NO! I...I can't leave her...she needs me, I can't..."

"GD...seriously, you need to go...I'll come get you soon, just go..you need to go." Eunmi interrupted.

"Please...I..." I said, running back towards her bed. "I need to be here..she needs me...I need to.."

"No, come on Jiyong. You can't be in here." Youngbae grabbed me and pulled me by the arm and out into the hallway. Grabbing my shoulders as I fought to get back into the room while trying to talk sense into me. "I know you want to be there for her, but you can't do anything. You need to let her doctor and her team work on her.

"She can't die Youngbae, she just, she can't die. I need her." I said as all the strength in my body left. I could hardly walk, I was crying, couldn't breathe right and it took all of Youngbae's own strength to hold me up as he helped me walk down the hall. "You don't understand without her I am nothing. If she dies I can't function...... . Why why is this happening?" 

"Jiyong I know you are upset, I am too, but you need to calm down. Acting like this isn't going to help." He said holding me up as we walked.

"Calm down..." I yelled pushing him away. "How the am I supposed to calm down?" I yelled louder this time getting in his face. "My ing girlfriend, the love of my life is in there dying and you are telling me to calm the down? There is no ing way I can or will calm down. That woman in there is everything to me and she is dying...DYING Youngbae DYING. I finally got her, she was finally mine, we were finally happy and now...now, now she's dying and I can't do a damn thing for her. I can't ing do a thing. Do you know what it's like to see someone you love more than anything go from pink to blue? Do you know what it's like to be listening to a heartbeat that just disappears? It's the worst thing in the world. And to know that I can't do a damn thing for her...nothing...well it ing . I can't do ing anything to save her. She is my everything..she means more to me than any song, any award, any music. You know how much I love my music and that girl, that girl in there dying, tops all of that. She's my everything and she is ing slipping away. And I can't do a ing thing to help. So don't tell me to calm the down. I can't...and she, she can't die...she just...she can't die." Finally losing all my strength, I collapsed against the wall. 

"JiYong..." Youngbae said simply sitting beside me. "You're right...I don't know what that is like. I don't. But that is my friend in there and maybe I don't love her the way you do, but I am just as scared. But deep down I believe she will be ok and you, you just gotta trust that she will pull through this. She's a fighter, Jiyong, you know that. MiRae loves you to much not too fight."

"How am I supposed to live with myself Youngbae? This is my fault...all of it. If I hadn't accused her of cheating, she wouldn't have left, she wouldn't have drank and gotten poisoned. It's my fault if she dies."

"Jiyong." Youngbae exclaimed to me sternly. "You know better, this is absolutely not your fault. You gotta stop beating yourself up over it."

"How can I not? Youngbae, how can I not? I ing accused her of cheating. I know better, I know she wouldn't and yet, yet I did. I did all of that and even after I knew she had a bad day I still chose to surprise her by lying to her. How is this not my fault? She wouldn't have drank so much...she would have come home with me instead of running away, drinking and poisoning herself. If she dies, I'll never forgive myself." I hugged my knees tightly to my chest and began to sob. I sobbed so much I couldn't breathe, my tears felt huge, my heartbeat felt irregular and I felt like I was dying. 

"Jiyong..." Youngbae sighed, giving up and sitting with me as I sobbed. 

"I thought she was doing so much better." I said looking up with red eyes and tear stained cheeks. "I thought she was getting better. They had removed her vent, her stats were doing so good. It was like she would wake up any moment. So I kept talking to her,  I kept singing to her. Telling her what I wanted for our future. How I wanted two kids, a boy and a girl. I wanted more dogs...I was even going to let her get a cat. And James was going to live with us and we were going to make him my son. And then...like that she just...her stats dropped and she started to turn blue...I couldn't do a ing thing....she's...Youngbae, she's supposed to me last love. She's supposed to be my wife, the mother of my children...I want to be with her till the end...I will love her till the end and she's...she's lying in there dying and I can't do a ing thing. I... I...can't....do..." I began to sob again harder than I had been. 

"Jiyong...you can't sit out here and be like this. Let's get you into the lounge, huh? Get you something to drink, there's a lot of people in there...you need to be with people right now." Youngbae stood up and held out his hand. "Come on, we can't do anything but wait...so let's go wait with others." Youngbae helped me up and wrapped an arm around me, leading me into the packed waiting room with some of our closest friends. 

"What's going on hyung?" Seungri asked when he saw me. "Why do you look like you've had the beat out of you?" 

"I...she...I...." I tried to talk, but couldn't. 

"Here...Jiyong, sit here." Youngbae said, helping me to a chair. "I'll take care of explaining. It's MiRae." Youngbae began. "She's, she's taken a turn for the worse...her stats dropped...and she stopped breathing. They are working on her right now...and...that's all we know."

"OMO...no.." Karin shouted. "Not our MiRae!"

"Well is she gonna be ok?" Daesung said.

"Honestly, we don't know Dae. It's too early to tell. When we left they were doing CPR." Youngbae replied.

"Jiyong, are you ok?" Seungri asked walking over with Dae to comfort me.

"What kind of question is that Seunghyun? Do I look like I am ok?" I stood up and began to pace. "There is no way for me to be ok right now. My girlfriend is in there dying. So no...I am not ok." 

"Hyung, she loves you too much to die. She will be fine." Daesung said coming up and grabbing my shoulder. 

"I need some space. I am sorry everyone, I know you are all trying to be supportive and positive, but I just can't be told this right now. I am gonna go to the chapel. Youngbae, please text me when EunMi is back." I walked off alone. My body felt more weak then ever and I couldn't even bring myself to lift my face up to look forward. It was too much for me, to think of losing MiRae was just too much. I took a seat in the back pew of the chapel and began to talk outloud

"You..you can't take her from me God..." I whispered. "I don't think you understand how much I need her. Please don't take her from me. I love her, I love her too much to watch her leave me like this. How, how could you try to take her from me. I mean I know I am not good at going to church, but I do believe in you. I know you can heal people, keep them from dying. Please..please don't let her die. I don't know what I would do without her. Please...please spare her life, please. I can't face losing her. Please I'll do anything, just don't take her from me." As I pleaded for MiRae's life, my phone began to buzz in my pocket.

Hey, EunMi is back...hurry...

I read the text from YB and quickly wiped my tears. I headed back slowly, but then feeling as if I needed to hurry began to run with all I had. I had to know if she was ok. 

"EunMi" I yelled running into the waiting room. "How, how is she?" I said noticing EunMi looked like she had been crying. 

"GD you need to sit down. Are you ok with me discussing this in front of everyone?" She asked.

"Yes, of course..please...just tell me. Tell me she's ok."

"GD...everyone...I did everything I could. My team and I did all we could."

"No....no...no..please no" I began to yell out falling to the floor. As the others in the room either gasped or held on to each other for strength. "She...she..."

"We got her back. But the next 24-48 hours will be very important as to whether or not she will make a recovery. I have put her back on a ventilator and for now, we must wait and see." 

I stood up and jumped at EunMi, hugging her. "You saved her? She's, she's alive?"

"Yes, GD she is. But, like I said these next 24-48 hours will be very telling. If she can't come out of this then we will have to discuss some other options."

"But she's alive...that's all that matters...my baby is alive. I need to go see her, can I go see her.. I need to be with her." I was antsy to go back into the room with her and see her, touch her, hold her. 

"Yes, GD...but...everyone else...no visitors, her body needs rest. GD, we need to ..." EunMi said, as I walked out the door, not realizing I hadn't heard anything. "I guess I will talk to him later."

---EunMi's POV----

"Babe, you ok?" Z said coming up to me and taking me into the most needed comforting embrace.

"Aniyo."

"Oh baby, I am so sorry. It must be terrible watching your friend die and be so sick." He said, hugging me tighter.

"You know HanGil. I never even wanted this profession." I began pulling away from him, grabbing his hand and sitting down in two seats near the corner. "I didn't even want this stupid profession. I didn't want to be a doctor, but you know, for the first time ever...I am so glad I am." I began to cry. I had worked so hard at saving my best friend and fight back tears that for the first time since this whole ordeal started, I couldn't fight the tears anymore. "I saved her life HanGil. I saved her life and yet, I feel completely broken."

"Well of course you do." Z replied, pulling me into his embrace again. "You are a great doctor babe and MiRae is so lucky to have her best friend in there, fighting for her when she can't. I completely expect you to feel broken. This is a personal case for you, you need to allow yourself to feel that, you can't act like stone and not hurt."

"I...I know. Dammit HanGil, I just can't imagine losing her. We've been friends for...well for what seems like forever and to lose her, scares me. I hope I never ever have to do CPR or shock someone that close to me back to life again."

"She's a fighter. We all know that...she'll come back to us. I just know it. Have a little faith." Z said, kissing the top of my head, whispering, "Deep breaths babe, it will be ok. I'm here. I love you."

-----GD's POV-----

"Oh my sweet girl." I said walking back into MiRae's room and seeing her, hooked back up to her vent and even more meds than before. "Baby, what are you doing scaring the out of me like that?" I leaned over and kissed her forehead and grabbed her hand with mine. "What am I going to do with you, huh? Did you do that on purpose? Just to see what I would do? Have I not told you enough that I would fight for you for the rest of my life? Crazy girl. I love you even if you did just scare me." I sat on the side of her bed and looked at MiRae. If she wasn't hooked up to so many different machines, I would have sworn she was sleeping. 

"I wish you would just come back to me babe." I got I climbed into bed and laid, holding MiRae's hand, talking to her. "I know you must be scared to, somewhere in that head of yours. I am scared too babe, so much. But I'm here, waiting for you to wake up and come back to me. I wish I could promise you a perfect life with no pain baby, but I can't. You were right the other night, there is not such thing as a perfect life, but you better believe that I will fight any battle with you." I began to her face with my hand, lightly. "I wish I could take all of this from you and be in your place. i know you can't respond but lying here with you, talking to you, I feel like maybe things will be ok." Kissing her cheek again and rested my head beside hers, nuzzling in close, while grabbing her hand tightly with mine. "I love you so much MiRae. If that's why you aren't coming back, if it's because you doubt my love, please don't. You are my everything MiRae. I am here, forever. Till the end of everything, I am here. I'm gonna be here when your world falls apart. I am going to hold your hand through thick and thin, I'll catch you when you fall." 

Sighing, I began to drift to sleep. "Just come back to me baby. Please. I love you so much, I need you to come back. You're my oxygen."