"Another one Miss?" 

"Neh please. Honesselly no need to keep asking anymore, at theis point jus keep them coming."

"Bad day?" The bartender asked while pouring for me yet another rum and coke. 

"Bad doesn't even begin to describe it. ty...the worst...the absolute worst." I said somewhat incoherently as I sipped on my umpteenth drink. Honestly, I had lost count about an hour ago or perhaps it was two hours ago, I wasn't even sure anymore. All I knew was that after the day I had I just wanted to drown my sorrows in some drinks at my favorite bar. 

--------14 Hours Before------------

"Stop, stop, stop, stop, stop!!!" My choreographer yelled. "Saja! Come on girl, what is with you?"

"I'm sorry sir, I just...I keep getting lost in that one spot. I swear I am trying." 

"You've never had issues with it before." Mr. Park said walking up to me and flicking my forehead; his form of torture. "Get your together, focus and let me see you do it again." He said continuing to yell at me, in fact, that's all he had done all morning. From the beginning of rehearsal till now, I'd been yelled at more times then I could count. 

He was no joke. He didn't accept anything less than your best. I loved the method in which he taught, the drive it gave me, the push it gave me and how he helped me to feel every single tiny move. Usually he was strict, but kind, he rarely got overly upset. Today though he was a freaking General, yelling commands, treating me like the poor pathetic underling that I was. It all started when I walked in the door 3 minutes late, instantly he was making me do push ups as my punishment. I tried to explain to him that I had overslept and had gotten here as fast as humanly possible. He didn't want to hear it. He just scoffed at me and told me to get down and give him 100. 100 damn push ups at 8 am in the morning...thats a wonderful way to continue your already terribly started day. 

"Yes, sir." I said. Aish lay off dude. It's freaking early in the morning. How the hell do you expect me to function this early? 

"Ok...from the top guys. Saja, let's see if you can get it together this time, huh? Everyone listen. We only have a short amount of time to perfect this dance and song. Saja, please get your head outta where ever it is and focus. If you want to kill this comeback, I can't have you messing up the simplest of choreography. Now, show me a damn good performance." He went to the music system and my single. "OK...ready and 1-2-3..." 

The music started and I did my best to focus even though I hurt and tired and really just wanted to go lay down and sleep a few more hours. All this pain and suffering made me seriously want to rethink my decision to be a singer at times, but really in the end I knew it was what I wanted even if I went home hurting every night and it was torture at times. It was my dream and I knew it was all going to be worth it in the end. I danced away, mouthing the lyrics to my song as I flirted with my male back up dancer. 

"Good, good." Mr. Park yelled as we continued to ace the dance. I continued to focus and pretend that I was actually on stage as I got closer and closer to the part at which I had been messing up. "Keep going, good...feel it guys feel it. Saja...don't screw this next part up." He yelled once more as that part finally arrived. I focused and counted it out in my head, praying that with every step I would get it, not realizing that I actually had aced it and Mr. Park was doing some what of a happy dance in the corner. "YES!!! YES!!!! That's exactly what I want to see." He said after we completed the finally perfect performance. "Saja...great job! Finally...aish girl took you long enough. I wanna see that kind of excitement and passion every time you do this ok? From the top...again..." My next hour was filled with me having to rehearse over and over again until Mr. Park was satisfied. 

"Alright...good...finally I think we have it together. Saja, can you come here please? The rest of you, please go clean up and be on your way." Mr. Park excused my back up dancers and I found myself alone in the dance space with the General. "Saja...are you ok? Your focus was awful today."

"Neh. I am fine. I'm sorry. My whole day is off because I was late. I feel very behind and a little out of it." 

"Ah. Well tomorrow I hope that you can come early and be prepared as I want to shoot your rehearsal video for youtube. Might I suggest doing some alone practice between now and then?" He said walking me to the door. "You are going to be a star girl, but you have to get your head together. Ok?" He said tapping my cheek with his hand.

"Yes, Sir. I'm sorry, I promise to work harder and focus better." I smiled as walked out the door. 

----A short time later------

Today 11:33AM

Babe, we need to talk when you have a free moment. I have some news for you. 

What could he mean by that? Aish, sounds bad. It may not be bad though, maybe he's coming home early. Or maybe he's dumping me. 

Why would he dump me, that's silly. MiRae you need to chill out.

But I wanna know what he wants and instead I am here recording. I hate not having time to talk to him. 

"Rae? RAE!!!! Are you listening to me?" Zic yelled at me from the door.

"Oh, uh, sorry...I was..."

"Not paying attention as usual. Rae, noona, I know you are worn out and feel pressed for time, but we gotta get this song done today. We only have a bit more to record and then it will be ready for your album. Are you ready to record?"

"Sorry Z, I just...I am having an off day. Actually, could I possibly have a minute to go get some fresh air...please, before I start?" I asked, hoping for some time to call Ji over his mysterious text.

"Sure...I think a couple minutes to breathe and collect yourself would do you some good. I'll give you 5 minutes, then I want you to come back ready to finish this song...deal?" 

"Deal!" I smiled as I tapped the end of 5Zic's nose and left the recording studio. I was thankful that Z understood me and was always gracious. He rarely got upset and was truly a wonderful friend and producer. I knew if he was around I was sure to be ok because that's just how he was...always making sure everything was going well and being understanding when something may have been off. I found my way to one of our other recording studios, it was empty for now, so I took a seat inside and called Ji.

"Hey babe! How are you?"

"I'm having a rough day, but I'm better now since I get to hear your voice. Ji, I don't have much time, I just wanted to call and see what you meant by your mysterious text." 

"Ah, yes, that. Well, um, I have some bad news."

"Bad news? What do you mean?" I asked, trying to control my emotions.

"They want to extend my time here in Japan by two more weeks. They..."

"Are you serious right now Ji? Please tell me you are kidding?" I said, tears forming on the corner of my eyes.

"Neh, I am serious. I tried to tell them I needed to get home, but, well, they have other plans I guess. Which means I won't be back to see you preform on Inkigayo."

"I...I...I don't know what to say to this. It's bull." I knew none of this was Ji's fault, but after the day I had had so far, I could have used some good news. 

"I know babe, I am so sorry. I want to be there more than anything, especially since your comeback is just a week away. You know I would be there if I could."

"Yah...I know." 

"Please babe, don't cry. I can't stand to hear you cry, please stop. Ottoke? How can I help make it better?"

"I don't know Ji. I just want you here, with me. It's been a terrible day so far, I was late, then dance practice , I can't focus, I have to go record soon and now I am finding all this out...there's nothing you can do. I just...I'm just angry."

"At me?"

"Aniyo, at everything. Just...I just...I don't even know. And I have to go for now, I'm sorry."

"It's ok. I understand you have to go. Babe, I promise I'll get back as soon as possible ok? Try to make the rest of your day go better and text me when you can. You know I love you more than anything right?"

"Yes, I know. I love you too."

"I'll talk to you soon. Bye babe."

"Bye, Ji." As I hung up the phone the tears finally completely broke and poured down my face. My day was turning out to be real hell and I wanted more than anything to go home, drink, eat ice cream and lay in bed listening to sad songs. After I finally calmed myself down I walked across the hall to the studio I was working in and attempted to hide my tear stained cheeks and red eyes. I hurried as fast as I could to the recording booth and gave Zic the signal to start. The music played and I listened to his intro, finally coming upon my part. I attempted to sing, only to sound off key and to have my voice crack over and over.

"Stop! Wah! Rae, whats with your voice right now? You ok noona?" Zic said a little frustrated, but concerned.

"Um, aniyo, not really." I talked into the microphone. Zic got out of his seat and came into the booth.

"Rae, talk to me. What's up?" He said sitting me on the stool in the corner.

"I just got off the phone with GD. His tour is being extended out for two more weeks." I said beginning to cry again. "Which means he won't be here for Inkigayo or my comeback."

"Damn! That . I'm so sorry Rae." He said, bending down a bit and looking me in the eyes. "I'll be there, ya know? Rooting you on from the side as you perform."

"I know Z." I wiped my tears away. "But, it's just not the same as having the love of my life there."

"True." 

"I just want to go home and sulk. I wish today would just end." I said sighing. 

"I know Rae, but you know we have a lot to get done today. But, hey, it's Tuesday and you know what that means!"

"DINNER WITH EUNMI!!!" I yelled out finally breaking a smile. "Yay! Finally something to look forward to!" I had completely forgotten what today was. Every Tuesday EunMi worked the late shift. Every Tuesday she would come here and bring dinner for the three of us to enjoy, after which we'd play a game and maybe sing some karaoke. "I hope she brings soju and lots of it! Hell, I'll text her." I said whipping my phone out and quickly typing out a message to her, begging her to bring me some soju.

"That's the last thing you need Rae. What you need is..." Zic said grabbing my hand and pulling me out towards the sound booth. "This!" He said, grabbing a cd off the table and handing it to me. "Your single, Miss Am Saja. Hot off the presses."

"Oh.my.god!!!! Oh my god!" I screamed beginning to jump up and down. Finally, something to perk me up. "OMO...its beautiful. Look at my picture..look. Oh my god and look at the cd. Oh my god the design on the CD is awesome." The cd itself was black, with drawn on white lungs with a red hearts scattered around randomly. The perfect design for my first single, Love Like Oxygen. I was on the cover, dressed in a simple black dress, with red heels making a heart sign with my hands in front of me. "I love it, I love it!!! I ing love it." I said jumping at Z and hugging him. "Thank you Z, I needed this."

"Anytime Rae! It's gonna be a hit!" He said hugging me back. Finally letting go as I stepped back from him. "Now, are you ready to go make another killer song?

"Neh! Let's do this." I said, running into the booth with a new kind of energy I had been missing most of the day.

-------9pm------

"Ahhhh! It feels so good to just sit here and relax." I said, looking over at EunMi and Zic who were busy flirting with each other. I watched as they sat on the couch across from me, busy eyeing each other and whispering who knows what scandalous words in each others ears. "Eh-hem. Don't let me inerrup your sickeningingly cute love over there. Did you two forget about me?" I said whining.

"Oh, mianne Rae." EunMi said, moving to face me. 

"Right...you look sorry. You two are so in love it's disgusing." I said, taking a sip of my soju. 

"As are you and Mr. G-Dragon." EunMi shot back, giggling.

"Yah, well Mr. G-Dragon is faaarrrr too busy for his MiRae, so accuse me if I don't want to see you two be all cutesy right now." I said. I was angry, but more so because I had been drinking.

"Rae, you know that this is his job. I think you've had enough soju for tonight. You're becoming irrational-tipsy-MiRae again and you can't even speak properly." She said confiscating my bottle.

"ANIYOOOOOO. EunMi, please just let me finish this one. I'm perfecly fine." 

"Perfecly is not word MiRae. You need to stop and we need to get you home. I'll take you on the way to work." EunMi said, standing up and pouring out the rest of my soju in the sink.

"No! I don't wan-ta go home EunMi. I wan-ta go to the bar. Jus call me a tasee and I'll have them take me."

"Um, no. You are already too tipsy. You're slurring your words and you have the red, I've-been-drinking-too-much face. I'm taking you home." Eunmi said as if she were my mom. 

"GAH! Z, please reason with your person over over there. Please." I said, standing up and staggering to my purse to grab my phone and text Cha to come get me. 

"Sorry Rae, I'm with EunMi on this one. Let's get you ready so she can get you home. You need to rest up for tomorrow. You don't want a repeat of today." Z said, coming over and grabbing on to me to keep me steady. 

"Guys, reelly I am toad-tally fine. I'm just a little tipsy...zats all. I jus wan-ta go have like two more drinks."

"No, Rae. You're done." EunMi said, grabbing the other side of me. "Let's get her out to my car." She said to Zic as they helped lead me out to the parking lot. "! My phone's ringing." EunMi looked down at her phone and back up at me and Zic. "I gotta take this hunny, it's work. Can you get her out to some fresh air and then we will get her in my car?" 

"Sure thing." Zic said, continuing out to the parking lot. Sitting me on a bench as we waited for EunMi, who'd stayed back to take her call. "Rae, noona, why do you do this to yourself?" He said, pushing the hair out of my face as I sat zoned out. "Drinking won't solve your problems. It's only going to be worse on you because of your sickness. You have to stop this, you're gonna kill yourself."

"Zic..." I said sitting straight up looking at him, then falling forward, hugging my arms around him. You're the beeest. Ya know? Idon'tknow what'd I'd withsout you Z. You are just...I love you." I said, kissing his cheek.

"Thanks Rae, but I think you are just drunk talking." He said, pushing me away from him.

"YAH!!! You love him, what about your so called love of your life." A voice said from behind Zic. I looked up to find Jiyong standing there, holding a bouquet of flowers. 

"What...wha are you doing here here Ji?" I said standing up and staggering towards him. "You, you just...you said you were gonna be away two more weekses."

"I wanted to surprise you. Seems I am the one who got the surprise. What the hell did I just witness?" Ji said, throwing the flowers on the ground. "Are you drunk?"

"Hey. Ji...man it's not what it looks like." 5Zic said standing up.

"I didn't ask you, did I OH-ZIC?" 

"Hey, hey...wa-wait. Do you, do you think...omg." I began to say. "You think I'm cheating on you? With 5Zic? Serrriousily? KWON JI YONG! You you should know bet-better. First-ily. He is my friend...my furend. Secondedly, he's my producer and label mate. And fine-ially he's my bestest friends boyfriend. EunMi's boyfriend."

"Funny I don't see EunMi anywhere around here. Stop making excuses MiRae and tell me the ing truth." He yelled. 

"I am! That is the fruth. I, I justed had dinner with both of them. He had helped me today, you know, because it was a -ity day. So I thanked him. That's all." I said beginning to cry and seeing Cha pull up behind Ji's car. "I can't believe you right now Jiyong." I said walking away and to the bench to grab my purse. 

"What's going on out here?" EunMi said, finally walking out of the building and towards the action. 

"It seems GDragon thinks MiRae is cheating on him with me because he saw her hug me." 5Zic explained.

"Haha! That's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard. GD, you got this all wrong. I've been with 5Zic for months now. Every Tuesday we have dinner together before I head to work. 5Zic was out here with her because he was waiting for me to get off the phone with work so I could take her home. Trust me, nothing is happening."

"Aish. Damn it. I am a ing idiot. I am so sorry you guys, I feel stupid now." He said, shyly becoming red, realizing his stupidity. "MiRae, babe, I am so so sorry I thought differently." He said looking in my direction. 

"You should be sorry." I said walking up to him and pushing him. "If you can't trust me, then then we can't be together. I came back here to Korea to be with you. I was going to leave Top for you. I've been nothing but for you and in love with you for months now. So for you to think that I could possisibly cheat on you, is like a ing slap in my face." I said, crying again, pulling out my single. "I didn't write this song for anyone else. It's not directed to anyone else...its all about you...its all for you..." I placed it heavily in my hands. "I can't stand to look at you right now. I love you, but I am just to hurt and angry right now to be near you." I pushed past Jiyong and headed towards Cha's car. 

"MiRae, where are you going?" Ji said, rushing to follow me. 

I turned around and put my hand out to stop him. "I'm gonna go out and get some space and air. Don't follow me, don't come look for me. I want you to just leave me the alone tonight. I'll be staying in a hotel. Just leave me alone Ji..." I cried, turning back around, opening the car door and getting inside.

"MiRae...MiRae..." Jiyong yelled as Cha left. 

"You ok Mirae? Where do you wanna go?" Cha said looking at me in the rear view mirror. 

"The usual place." I said.

-------------Back to present time---------------

"Damn, sounds like you've had a hell of a day." The bartender said after listening to me talk for quite a while. 

"Neh! Please jus keep um coming!" I said, as I laid my head down on the bar, closing my eyes as I re-lived the look on Jiyong's face. I began to feel tears coming out as I thought about how remorseful he was and because of my drunken anger I just walked away from him. I was hurt, but it was worse because I couldn't think straight. At least he'd listened and didn't follow me. 

"Well, well, well, who do we have here?" I heard her voice as she sat beside me. "Let me guess...he finally showed his real colors and cheated on you." Dara said smugly. 

"No, Dara, he did not." I said, sitting up and giving her a glare. 

"Then he dumped you? Ha, knew it. Jiyongie will never be a one woman kind of man sweetie. At least you learned it quickly." 

"No...not that either Dara. Not that iss any of your ing businesses, but I had a bad day, then he and I got in a fight. I came here to get some space." I said. Why the did you just tell her that?

"Hmmm...well...give it time hunny, he'll still screw you over yet." She smirked.

"Dara, do you have nothin better to do with your time than to piss me off? Huh? Can't you see I'm drunk, I would not susgest pissing me off right now. Please just leave." I took a big gulp of my drink.

"How about I buy you a shot or two? Hmmmm?" She said. "For tonight, let's just tolerate each other and drink our sorrows away, what do you say?"

"Fine." I said, hell I couldn't pass up free alcohol. Dara bought some shots for us and we began to drink...one right after the other. After half an hour I was completely drunk and feeling weird as Dara and I sat laughing together for the first time since we'd ended our friendship. Alcohol was once again, not my friend. "I behter-er go. Thanks for the shos." I said, standing up and staggering over to Cha, who was sitting in the corner. "Take me back to Jungle pleeeassseee Cha." I said as he caught me in his arms. 

"You are in no condition to go back to Jungle, MiRae. I am going to get you home to Mr. Kwon."

"NO! Cha. I wans to go back to Jungle, now!" I said as he carried me to the car.

"Fine, but I am staying with you...ok?" Cha said. He headed back towards Jungle and helped me to get inside and to the dance studio. "You are in no shape to practice right now MiRae."

"I'm fine." I lied. "I have to perfect this dance before tomorrow. You can either sta-ay and shut your mouth or you can leave." I said turning on the music and drunkenly trying to dance. Cha left and I continued to dance. The weird feeling I had been feeling became intense and I found myself sitting on the floor.

------5Zic's POV-----

"Why the hell is the light on in here?" I didn't usually stay at Jungle so late, but tonight I had to put the finishing touches on MiRae's song, "Be Ma Boy." I'd been sitting and staring at the computer screen for hours and wanted to stretch my legs so I decided to take a brief walk around Jungle. It was weird to come across the dance studio with a light on so I went in to turn it off. "I can't believe some idiot left this on." I said out loud to myself. "They seriously need too... Oh my god. MiRae!" I ran to her lifeless body and began to shake her. 

"MiRae, Rae? Rae wake up." I shook her more and listened for breathing. It was very shallow, her breathing. Scared and not thinking of calling the for emergency personnel I called EunMi. 

"Hi Babe, what's up?" She asked.

"EunMi, it's MiRae....I think, I think she's dying."