"Do the girls know about this !!?" Kangin yelled, as Donghae was still blocking him from Eunhyuk. 

 

"No they don't. . . and I'm not sure he'll see them before they leave. . " Eunhyuk sighed as he shook his head. He looked over at Kangin, "He can't come because his mother is sick. so he wants to spend some time at home. . he says he'll go alone later ."

 

Kangin glared at Eunhyuk, "Are you sure thats what he said. . !!?" he hissed. 

 

Donghae put his hand on Kangin, the room was now filled with tension, "Look it doesn't matter what he said. .right now we all have to try to understand how Leeteuk is feeling. . We all had the chance to see Taeyeon for the last time. . . We carried her casket together to her final resting place. . . But Leeteuk couldn't be there with her, he was miles away . . now he's returning only to see her at her grave . . "

 

Kangin stayed silent, they were all speechless, the whole room was filled with silence, As every member looked at each other. . Leeteuk was their hyung, their leader, and their friend, yet he was the one who broke Taeyeons heart. . they knew the story between these two. . 

 

Siwon nodded slowly , "We should probably give him some time. . I'm sure he'll at least see the girls off before they leave.. we should call him later to see how his mother is doing . .without mentioning Taeyeon. "

 

"fine then. . " Kangin yelled as he backed away. . Eunhyuk sat down as he stared at his phone, he felt hurt by this, he thought Leeteuk would go as soon as he got out of base. . 

 

"Well lets hurry up. . we have a flight to catch. ."Shindong muttered as he Eunhyuks back. ."come on Lets go.. ."

 

 

 

 

---

 

April 30

{* SNSD & SUJU *}

 

 

 

"Taeyeon . . we're here. . ." the girls shouted in unison as they gave their respects. 

 

Hyoyeon started laughing the girls glanced over at her, ".. I'm just happy we're here. .without having to lie about it  . " she whispered, as she looked behind them. their manager came along with them. Since they were a few days away from leaving, and their press conference was tomorrow they had to be accompanied. 

 

The girls looked over the grave, it was well kept "Heechul Oppa has been coming whenever he could. . we have to thank him when we see him. ." Yoona sighed as she leaned over on Yuris shoulder. 

"Im sad. . he won't be coming today. .we won't see him before we leave. ." she pouted, almost crying. . 

 

"Don't you think its weird. . he said he would come. .and at the last minute he said he couldn't. ." Yuri looked over at the girls. "You girls think to much " Sunny interrupted, "I'm sure something important came up, that he won't be able to come, so stop. ." Sunny glanced over at Seohyun and saw she looked rested and much better the past few days. . "Seo.  . you okay?"

 

"Yeh~ Unnie. . I'm fine now. ." Seohyun smiled.

 

"We're here!!"

 

The girls turned around, Jessica burst into laughter. Seeing every SUJU member had a bouquet of flowers some members we're holding two bouquets, Jessica laughed hard, covering . It was quite a sight seeing the whole group each holding a bouquet of flowers. 

 

"Don't worry these are for Taeyeon not for you girls" Kangin teased as he looked over at Jessica, he was not going to drop the fact about her saying she was tired of seeing flowers. "Oppa. .thats mean. . ." She whined as she lightly hit his arm. 

 

 

The girls just nodded. " Thats right they're still rookies. . I feel sorry for them. . I wonder when they'll be able to come . .well they must be working hard right now. . . " they sighed. 

 

"You guys look so tired. . "Sooyoung sighed as she shook her head, "You guys came from Peru last night. . you guys looked hilarious with those hero costumes. . " She laughed. 

 

"AHhh~ Taengoo. .  we're here !!!" Shingdong yelled loudly startling everyone. It had been a while since they've been to Taeyeons grave, some SUJU members would come during their time off, but hadn't been able to come together as a group. 

 

Yesung stepped forward with his bouquet and placed it down, "Taeyeon, I'm leaving off for military duty. . It's my time to go off and serve like every Korean man should, even though I'll be a public service worker, Please watch over me as I enter the service" He began to cry. . 

 

Following his lead every member came forward, and placed their bouquets down, the girls smiled with tears in their eyes, seeing how Taeyeons grave quickly was filled, with piles of flowers, neatly surrounding her grave 

 

"I guess we can see why you all didn't want flowers, this is a lot, but knowing Taeyeon, she would be very happy right now" Kangin whispered whispered over at Jessica. She nodded with tears in her eyes.

 

Seohyun stepped forward and placed a piece of paper on Taeyeons plaque, everyone grew silent, not knowing what she was doing, "Unnie this is my acceptance letter to Juilliard. . .Its for you. . I'm sorry we have to leave you here for a while. .but we'll come back soon. . We'll be back. . " 

 

Siwon stood up, ". . So you all leave the next week right.?. .Remember to look after each other.  . be strong. and don't listen what others are going to say. . after your press conference there is going to be a lot more talk, rumors and criticism but ignore it, do what you all have to do, protect each other. .And remember that you'll always have us. . " he forced a smile as he looked over at everyone , "this is it. . . " 

 

Seohyun nodded, and looked at all her members, her beautiful sisters, now they have to lean and trust each other more than ever. . Kyuhyun sat down next to Seohyun, "Are you feeling better?" He whispered. She smiled, she was sort of embarssed of what happened but she liked knowing he was there as a friend, and someone she could talk to, "Yeah I'm much better Oppa" He smiled, "Taeyeon must be very proud of you right now. . " 

 

Hyoyeon laughed silently and whispered at Eunhyuk, "Its seems like a new love might be blooming. ." She looked over at Taeyeons grave."Taeyeon . . don't worry I have my eye on them "

Eunhyuk grabbed Hyoyeons hand, "Taeyeon. .I have my eye on this" He pulled held up their hands up in the air before Hyoyeon could even respond, Sunny yelled at them "Yah~!!! you love birds. ."

"Sorry Sunny" He yelled at her, pulling their hands down, everyone just stared at them weirdly, he looked at Hyoyeon again. . , "Hyo. . Taeyeon will always be in our hearts. . this isn't the end. ."

 

 

 

 

 

---

May 01

{*SNSD*} press conference

 

The girls stood still as they heard they can hear the faint sounds of clicking cameras, and the whispers behind the door . They stood still with their hearts racing, with just a door separating them from what seemed the whole world. This was the first time since Taeyeons death they were going to show themselves. . this was certainly the hardest thing they have done. Now they stand together as they put on brave faces. .  . 

 

>><<. . We will now start the press conference with SNSD. . >><<

 

"Are you girls ready?" Sunny looked over at everyone, she was fighting her tears back, "Lets be strong. .this shouldn't take so long. .  lets just get this over with. .". .Hyoyeon smiled with tears in her eyes, "Yah~ no tears.  . . "

The doors swung open, and simultaneously  thousands off flashes went off as the girls walked onto the platform together. . for the first time with out their leader. . 

 

 

"Hello thank you for coming today. . first of all we want to state we will not be answering any questions directly. .if you wish to ask questions you can go ahead and do so after with Mrs. Park our SM representative" 

 

"So we'll begin"

. . . 

"We want to thank  all of our fans and fellow idols and everyone else who showed us love and support during this hard time. . We also want to apologize again to our fans for canceling the Japan tour.  "

. . . 

"The leader position will not be taken over by anyone . . . Taeyeon will always hold that title. . So please don't create any rumors . . No one is taking over anything. . "

. . .

 "SM will  not be breaking up or disbanding SNSD . . We will continue to be on hiatus . .  ."

. . .

" . . I hope everyone can continue respecting our privacy. .not only ours but the rest of our label mates and the rest of our family. . "

. . .

"We have decided to go overseas for a while. . we will be going together. .but not to promote as a group"

. . . 

"We don't expect anyone to approve but try to understand and respect our decision. . " 

. . . 

"As for our fans. we want to thank you all again  . we have no right to ask you to wait for us. . but we hope when we return you can all show us the same love and support"

. . .

We won't say goodbye. .because this isn't the end. .

. . . 

thank you  . . 

. . . 

this is has been. . So Nyeo Shi Dae. . . 

 

 

---

May 01

 

Leeteuk was sitting in the living room, as he stared at the tv blankly, he couldn't stand watching it anymore, he felt his heart being torn, as he saw the girls sit there with brave faces as they faced the cameras they were trying so hard. . yet he couldn't bring himself to go . . because if he did it would only confirming this was all real and Taeyeon was really gone. 

Leeteuk turned off the tv and went outside on the patio, he needed to breathe, he felt everything was building up in his chest, he felt like he was suffocating from all of this. . . 

Suddenly he felt a pair of warm hands rest on his shoulder, he looked behind him, it was his mother. He forced a smile, "Mom you shouldn't be outside. . you're going to get sick again. . "

She smiled at him widely,"It was just a cold. ." she sat down besides him and looked at him, examining his face closely , "Even though you are my son, sometimes I forget how handsome you are. ."she laughed at him weakly, "I'm glad you're home. . "

Leeteuk heart broke hearing those words. . . . "Mom. .I made you so lonely all these years right?" his voice began to tremble, he reached for her hand, " . I bought this house for you but I never came home to visit you. . I always gave you so much trouble . . I'm sorry " he began to cry, " . .I'm sorry for barely realizing how precious our family is. . "

His mother wrapped her around him, "JungSu. . I'm not that lonely.. I have your sister here with me. . she's still here causing some trouble" She laughed as she wiped his tears away, "I don't know why she told you I was sick. . its just a cold. .but I'm really happy that you're here . .theres nothing to be sorry about JungSu . ."

Leeteuk looked up at her, he can hear the pain in her voice, he looked at her, seeing how much she has aged, "Mom. . I know in the past I said that I didn't know the value of family. . but I will become someone who can protect our family. .  . Are you proud of who've I become?". . He cried as he looked into her eyes.  how many years has it been since I took a moment to share with her. .how many years has it been that I had been able to sit down and talk to her not as Leeteuk from Super Junior, as Park Jung Su her son. . 

He cried harder as he realize how much he has actually lost sight of from pursuing his dream . . 

"Of course I'm proud of you my son. . .you left home at such a young age. and for 5 years you trained so hard not even knowing if you were going to debut, you made it this far Jungsu. . I was so proud of you when I saw you stand on stage for the first time. .You've become someone that is well known . . you already brought so much honor to our family. . You're always going to be my son. .I'm always going to be proud of you. . "

Leeteuk cried in his mothers arms, how he missed her embrace. . She patted his back as he cried. . her heart felt pained, she could see it in his eyes and she knew the very reason why he was so tormented . . 

 

". . she was very beautiful. . "She whispered . . . 

Leeteuk quickly pulled himself away from his mom as he looked at her with a confused expression. 

". . She died so young. . " She looked at him, and caressed his cheek, as tears fell from his eyes, "JungSu. . you loved her didn't you?. . .Kim Taeyeon. . . . The look in your eyes when you brought her home, the way you looked at her. it was the first time I saw you like that. .She had a good heart. .and the way she looked at you. . "

Leeteuk cried not wanting to hear what his mother was going to say ". But. I broke her heart. .I didn't realize how much I did loved her. .but now that she's gone I feel an emptiness that can't be filled. . I feel like I can't breathe anymore. . I brought her so much pain and sadness . .I saw it in her eyes, but I denied it. . I left her that night without telling her how much she meant to me. . " He cried as he clenched his fist. . "She loved some one like me to the end. . "

"Son. . you can't turn back the hands of time. . she's gone, you're going to have to let go of all of your regrets. . and try to embrace the loving memories you shared with her. . if she loved you to the end. . then you have to learn how to let go of that pain. . " She grabbed his hand and held it tightly, "you should go now, go see your members and your friends.  . you have to return back to base soon"  She smiled as she wiped his tears again. .

 

 " . go to her and tell her what you couldn't . . "

 

 

 

 

---

A/N: this chapter turned out horrible. ( im sorry )   . Did it make sense? . 

 

ANYWAYS. . . I'll worker a lot harder because. . . 

Next chapter is a Leeteuk chapter . . :O :O >.< 

:O !!!!!! :(( ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

 

 

thanks for reading !! 

yes its ending. . . 

thanks again everyone . .take care !!!! <3 

 

 

 

 

 

 

random notes :]]] :)) ^^ 

* i noticed I do well on chapters that don't involve so many people(characters). . .

*why do  I keep thinking about ANGSty stories T^T . . . .I think my happiness is broken lol hahha (*sob sob*)