I waited in my master’s chamber, knowing that he wouldn’t be back until late.  Even now, the party was still in full swing.  I sighed and waited patiently, tidying up the room and turning down the bedcovers for him.  I was tired, but I needed to get him ready for bed before I could sleep.

I had left both Kyuhyun and the indoor gardens about an hour before.  We didn’t really talk and eventually, I just got up and left.  I didn’t feel the need to pollute the silence with chatter, and I got the feeling he felt the same way. 

As I continued to pace the room, my thoughts flittered around Kyuhyun.  I knew next to nothing about him.  All I knew for certain was that he definitely had some ties to the army and that he was strangely perceptive.

I didn’t dislike him, but I thought it safer to avoid him.  I didn’t have any fond memories of army officers and the very thought of those dark, sharp eyes made me wary.  I wasn’t sure how or why we kept meeting, but in the future, I would need to make sure I didn’t cross his path.

I frowned slightly when I came to my conclusion.  As if I wasn’t already restricted, now I would have further restraints on my freedom.  This was irritating to say the least, but I deemed it necessary.  I of all people knew the type of cruelty officers were capable of, and I wasn’t eager to revisit such memories.

Yesung returned, effectively breaking my train of thought.  I bowed and smiled politely, my actions automatic.  He smiled widely and a single glance told me he was drunk.  My master wasn’t a frivolous man, and he rarely drank.  Unfortunately, when he did, he did it well.

It appeared that tonight was no exception.  He swayed unsteadily and I wondered momentarily how he even managed to make it back to the room in his current condition.  I quickly walked over, supporting his weight the best I could.

I wasn’t the brawny type and my slight frame wasn’t exactly the best suited for handling this situation.  However, asking for help was completely out of the question.  Yesung was the prince, and I would fail in my duties if I let anyone see him in such an unsightly manner.

With considerable effort on my part, I managed to get him to his bed.  He flopped down, falling asleep almost instantly.  I shook my head as I debated what to do next.  I knew I should probably undress him and make sure he was comfortable, but it was late and the thought of such a tiring task was not welcome.

Seeing as he was already deeply asleep, I decided it best not to wake him.  I carefully removed his shoes, and gently pulled that blankets over his form.  I adjusted the curtains, knowing that in the morning, he wouldn’t want to be awakened by the glare of the sun.

I blew out the candles that illuminated the room and turned to leave.  Suddenly, he reached out and grabbed my wrist, preventing my departure. 

“Wookie, stay” he said, his voice pleading.

I froze as I felt his grip tighten.  I resisted the urge to scream, reminding myself where I was and who held me.  I took a deep breath, holding back the nausea and did my best to compose myself.

“Sleep master” I whispered, gingerly pulling away.

He made a small noise of discontentment, but I breathed a sigh of relief when he let me go.  I hurried out of the room before further incident could occur.  I closed the door to his chamber quietly, and closed my eyes, waiting for my heart to stop pounding so furiously.

As much as I hated to admit it, I was scared.   I was scared that Yesung would make me stay and perform acts that made me cringe.  As much as I tried to repress such feelings, I began to shake as flashes of old, painful memories assaulted me.  My skin crawled as I relived the horrors of being a -slave to the entire army.

Tears welled in my eyes and I breathed shallowly, willing myself not to break down.  I had managed to block out such trauma and survive up until this point, but little flashbacks such as this one always reminded me exactly where and what I was.

I knew sealing my past within me wasn’t healthy, but I did so anyway, convincing myself that I was over it and it didn’t haunt me.  For the most part, I managed to delude myself.  Sometimes I could go days, even weeks without remembering, but it never really went away.

The icy tendrils of panic that paralyzed me always came back, usually more potent than before.  It seemed the longer I denied such horrors, the stronger they became.  This attack was almost incapacitating, and I silently thanked the moon and the stars for being able to recover.

I didn’t bother thanking the gods, as far as I was concerned, they didn’t exist.  Even if there was some higher being, he held little importance to me.  He certainly wasn’t there when I needed him and begged for his mercy.  It was always better to rely on something tangible and I was certain the moon existed, I could, after all, see it myself.

The unnerving sensation of someone’s eyes broke me from my meditation.  My open eyes snapped open, and I was displeased to find the person I so wished to avoid standing before me.  He stared at me, unabashed at being caught.  He leaned against the wall opposite from me, his posture openly displaying his nonchalance.

My eyes narrowed slightly and I pushed myself away from the chamber door.  I sent a curt bow in his direction before making a move to walk past him.  A low chuckle made me stop and regard him with cautious eyes.

He had now pushed himself into an upright position, but his eyes were still trained on me.  I disliked the feeling of being studied and I asked in clipped tones,

“Can I help you with anything?”

He smiled easily, and shook his head,

“No, but I believe I can help you”

My eyes blazed, and I glared.

“I don’t recall ever asking for your help”

I was angry.  Angry at having been seen in such a vulnerable condition, and angry that he was so pompous to believe he could aid me.  What did he know?  He knew nothing about me or my situation, yet he had the audacity to claim he would fix me.

Even though I glared at him and addressed him in acidic tones, he didn’t even flinch.  The same, seemingly mocking smile never once left his face.  He strode over to me and simply stated,

“You were , huh?”

I was instantly still, the fury in my eyes was replaced with shock.  I swallowed the sudden lump in my throat and shook my head.  I crossed my arms awkwardly, subconsciously trying to shield myself from his knowing eyes and the truth he told.  I shut down, becoming an impenetrable barrier, my defense against those probing eyes.

He continued to observe me, and sighed when he saw I would only deny.  He shrugged unemotionally, and moved to walk past me.  When he was at my side, he paused.  I stiffened automatically as his low voice whispered in my ear,

“You’re good at hiding it, but it’s pretty obvious to anyone who looked closely.  You’ve been , many times it seems” he stopped and adjusted his military blazer before continuing, “I can help, but only if you want to be helped”

He flashed another smile at me before walking off, never saying another word.

I simply stood, rooted in place by my overwhelming disbelief.  I didn’t know how to rationally respond, so I just stood.

I stood and I watched with conflicted eyes as Kyuhyun walked away.

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Now Kyuhyun's real personality will come out, he's not exactly the gentleman everyone thinks he is

Thanks for supporting this fic! ^^

Music: "Break Down" by Super Junior-M (this album is ing amazing, I just can't handle my feels!!)