“Well Commander, I think it’s finally safe to remove your bandages for good” the doctor announced with a smile.

I watched Kyuhyun nod seriously, but I caught a flash of relief in his eyes.  I was happy too.  Lately, Kyuhyun had been more anxious and restless.  He was pushing himself too hard and his patience was almost nonexistent.

I was hoping he would calm down a bit once the bandages were off because, quite frankly, he was starting to worry me.

I could handle snarky, pissed off Kyuhyun; but it was harder for me to deal with a Kyuhyun that was a ticking time bomb.  Truthfully, I knew that Kyuhyun was frustrated and I understood that he was under more pressure than I could even begin to fathom.  However, that being said, the way he channeled his stress was inefficient.

Kyuhyun bottled everything up; he gritted his teeth, set his jaw, and pushed forward.  He did his best to seem like he was fine and that he had everything under control.

At first, I believed that he was managing the stress and coping.  However, once he snapped, I realized that he had put up an impressive act.

It was an insignificant thing that set him off.  The snow was falling very heavily one day and Kyuhyun was forbidden from doing his daily circuit around the hospital.  All of the sudden, Kyuhyun’s eyes turned crazed with fury and an angry stream of curses fell from his lips like acid rain.

I had seen Kyuhyun angry; hell I was the cause of his last outburst, but nothing compared to the pure rage that seeped into his eyes.  That was the first time that Kyuhyun had terrified me.  I couldn’t do anything but shrink back and watch with frightened eyes as he finally came undone.

It took several nurses and doctors to restrain Kyuhyun and hardly anything in the room remained unscathed.  Shattered glass from the broken window mixed with the broken shards of pottery from his water pitcher.  His bedside table was nothing more than a splintered pile of wood, and each of the four walls were dented.

Even I got a bit of damage when some debris drew blood from my cheek. 

At that moment, when I looked at Kyuhyun, struggling against the many hands that held him down, it hit me.  It struck me how little I really knew about him and how little he actually knew about me.  Just because I knew tidbits about his life didn’t mean I understood him.

True, there were some parts that I could relate to better than anyone else, but there were still so many things I didn’t know about Kyuhyun.  It was almost laughable to assume that I knew what made him tick.

My train of thought was only furthered when Kyuhyun finally calmed down.  Once he convinced everyone that he was fine and got them to leave, I saw yet another side of Kyuhyun I didn’t know existed.

When he beckoned to me, I hesitated, still a bit wary after his violent outburst.   But as I walked over to him, his face shifted from his usual blank mask as he looked up at me with a mix of embarrassment, guilt, and concern.

I didn’t know what I had been expecting, but it definitely wasn’t what I received.  Before the usual, mildly awkward air settled around us, Kyuhyun reached for my hand and pulled me towards him.  I was a bit startled and tried to pull back, but he was unyielding.

“I’m not going to hurt you” he murmured quietly, his eyes lowering in remorse.

In all honesty I wasn’t worried that he would harm me, I was just still slightly uncomfortable with being in close proximity.  I paused momentarily before I sat down beside him on the bed, making sure that I wasn’t pressed against his side.

When Kyuhyun looked up, I sent him an uncertain smile and he responded with an apology.

“I’m sorry” he said in a soft voice that I was entirely unaccustomed to.

He reached up slowly, obviously afraid I would spook, and gently ran his fingers over the cut on my cheek.  I winced slightly but assured him it was fine, that I was fine.  After a while he finally let it go, but I could still see he was feeling sorry for his actions. 

We never spoke about the outburst again, but the surprise of seeing two new versions of Kyuhyun continued to bother me.  Normally I would have shrugged it all off, but Kyuhyun was never one I could regard with my normal indifference.

I found it unsettling that Kyuhyun was still a mystery to me.  I knew I was being crazy, but I felt the compulsion to discover and know every facet of Kyuhyun’s being.  This level of curiosity was rare and I didn’t know what fueled it, but I found myself observing Kyuhyun more closely as a result.

I was getting better at reading Kyuhyun’s emotions and anticipating his subsequent actions.  I had always been pretty good at gauging his mood, but now I found that I could almost predict his reaction to different emotional climates.

That’s why I could clearly see the relief and happiness that radiated off of Kyuhyun that would have been imperceptible to the common eye.  As the doctor removed the bandages and said that he was healing nicely, I could see the smugness that flashed through Kyuhyun’s eyes.

What was more interesting than my improved ability to read Kyuhyun, was the fact that I found myself reacting to his emotional cues.  I wasn’t sure if it was because I had been watching him so intently, but I had become invested in Kyuhyun.

Even now, while he maintained his seemingly emotionless mask, I smiled at the relief in his eyes.  The doctor examined the wounds a final time before telling Kyuhyun that he would check back in a week.  He explained that if Kyuhyun met his standards then he would allow him to return to the base camp.

The doctor pulled me aside and asked me to keep a careful eye on Kyuhyun.  He wanted me to make sure that he wasn’t just pretending he was better so he could hasten his return.  I assured the doctor I would do so, knowing very well that Kyuhyun could fool almost everyone into thinking he was fine.  However, I was confident in my ability to see past his carefully, convincing act.

I knew more that anyone how eager Kyuhyun was to return to duty, but I wasn’t about to let him endanger himself.  I felt guilty for my selfish thoughts, knowing that Kyuhyun wouldn’t think twice about sacrificing himself to save the kingdom, but I wouldn’t let guilt shake me. 

Though I didn’t show it outwardly, Kyuhyun’s wellbeing was my main focus and concern.  It was a bit startling to realize that I had come to care so much about him, especially in such a short amount of time.  In reality, I knew it wasn’t a sudden thing; that I cared about him long before I admitted it to myself.

Maybe that’s what made things so easy while at the same time made things so confusing.  I felt for Kyuhyun so easily that it was almost alarming.  Feeling concerned, or protective, or happy for him was effortless.  I found myself filled with emotions that I hadn’t felt towards another person since I was taken from my mother. 

And because I was suddenly hit with all these emotions, I didn’t quite know how to deal with them.  I had made myself generally detached and indifferent.  I kept people at an arm’s length and I was good at being evasive.  Being contained and reserved had become my lifeline, and it was all I knew.  So now that Kyuhyun had successfully breached my defenses, I was at a loss as to what to do.

Sometimes, I just felt genuine affection towards Kyuhyun.  I wanted to reach out to him, touch him and express how I was feeling.  Sometimes my chest felt heavy because I wanted so desperately to show him that I really did like him, but I just didn’t know how. 

I wanted to show him that I cared about him, and I wanted to tell him that I was there for him, but I didn’t know how to convey such messages.  My inexperience with relationships and emotions left me feeling insecure, and I found myself holding back.

I sighed quietly as my thoughts plagued me.  I glanced up at Kyuhyun and saw him stretching his shoulder, a triumphant look on his face.  I felt my conflicted frown soften into a smile as I watched Kyuhyun perform his exercises diligently.

I felt my hands twitch slightly, almost like they were begging to reach out and squeeze his hand excitedly.  I resisted the urge to do so, but I did approach his bed to congratulate him.

He looked up, and smiled openly, looking more at ease than I had ever seen him.  I smiled back and asked,

“How does it feel to be free?”

He snorted and rolled his eyes good-naturedly as he responded,

“I won’t be free until I’m out of this goddamn hospital, but at least I’m getting closer”

I knew this would be the most positive response I would get out of him, but seeing as he was in such a good mood, I decided not to retort sarcastically.  Instead, I settled for nodding in agreement before gesturing for him to continue his exercises.

He did so, occasionally shooting curious looks in my direction.  After a while he broke the silence,

“What’s wrong?”

I shrugged and did my best to look reassuring as I responded,

“Nothing”

He sent me a knowing look and replied,

“Please, don’t give me that bull.  Seriously, what’s got you thinking so hard that your forehead is a scrunched up”

I blinked in surprise, startled that he had noticed.  A small grin flittered across my lips when I realized that maybe I wasn’t the only one trying to understand the other.  I felt my heart flutter slightly with the knowledge that Kyuhyun had been watching me as well.

My heart began to beat faster as I entertained the idea that maybe I wasn’t the only on struggling to reach out to the other.  Maybe Kyuhyun was feeling the same confusion that I was.

I held onto this little strand of hope, trying to build my confidence and convince myself that Kyuhyun wanted reassurance as much as I did.

“Seriously, what’s wrong?” he asked again, his voice laced with concern.

When I looked up, his eyes scanned my face searchingly, his brows furrowed with what could only be described as worry.  I felt my heart leap slightly and I took a deep breath before replying.

“I’m fine”

He looked at me dubiously, but I just smiled shakily in return.  His eyes flashed in confusion as I stood and gingerly sat myself on the bed.  I hesitantly reached out for his hand, my stomach going all fluttery as he met me halfway and even gave my hand a gentle squeeze.

I scooted myself until I was seated at his side, my back pressed against the pillows.  I gave his hand an uncertain squeeze, doing my best to relax.  After a while he finally turned to look at me, a question in his eyes.

“I’m just happy that you’re happy” I said quietly, ducking my head as I felt a blush creep up my neck.

I glanced up to see him look surprised before a small smile settled on his lips.  He adjusted our hands until our fingers were intimately intertwined.

“Thanks” he said almost inaudibly before we settled back into silence.

I leaned closer to him, and instead of making sure there was space between us, I pressed the side of my body against his.  Slowly and hesitantly, I angled my head until it was resting on Kyuhyun’s broad shoulders.  After a few minutes I relaxed, knowing he wasn’t going to flinch away from me.

The silence surrounding us wasn’t awkward or tense like usual, instead it was almost comforting.  As Kyuhyun began to draw soothing circles on my hand with his thumb, I couldn’t help but think that maybe we could find our normal.

As I snuggled my head against his warmth, I felt like maybe we could make this weird, foreign thing between us work.  I knew this little moment wouldn’t automatically cause things to click into place, but I knew it would help.

I figured this could be a good start for us.

I decided a slightly fluffy update was necessary to celebrate Kyuwook day!

Truthfully I finished this 2 days ago, but I really wanted to save this post for today so sorry for making you guys wait

Anyway enjoy the fluff and hopefull we'll get into more fun stuff later

Also, I'm probaby gonna post a ty Kyuwook oneshot later today, so please support the Kyuwook goodness ^^

Thanks guys ^^

Music: "Why I Like You"- Super Junior