“So what exactly do you plan to do?”

I glanced up at Kyuhyun before returning my attention to the food that lay before me.

“What do you mean?” I asked playing with my rice without actually eating it.

Kyuhyun eyed my full bowl, but he decided not to say anything about it.  His eyes flickered to mine and he sipped his coffee before clarifying,

“I mean what are you going to do with your beloved master?”

I didn’t miss the sarcasm in his voice, but I ignored it and pondered his question seriously.  I bit my lip and stared down at my rice bowl as if I was trying to find the answers in the fluffy white grains.

“Well if you don’t know what you’re going to do, at least tell me what you want” Kyuhyun’s voice was demanding, but it wasn’t really harsh.  In the back of my head I thanked him for not babying me.

“I-i… I don’t want to see him” I whispered seriously.

Kyuhyun nodded and smirked.  I shot him a doubtful look.

“Oh, I’ll handle that” he said, an evil look in his eyes.                                                                                

He prepared to stand but I hastily grabbed his arm, stopping him.  He looked at me questioningly and I looked at him solemnly,

“Don’t hurt him”

Kyuhyun rolled his eyes and scoffed,

“Wow, you’re defending that son of a .  Either you’re incredibly loyal or incredibly stupid”

My eyes hardened and I repeated,

“Don’t hurt him.  He’s the prince of my kingdom, the people need him”

Kyuhyun pulled his arm out of my grasp as he answered,

“I’m not stupid.  If I laid a hand on him it would be my on the line.  Relax; I won’t touch a single hair on his princely little head”

With that, he swept out of the room leaving me to stare after him blankly.  I momentarily considered following after him, but ultimately let him go.  If my hunch was correct he was going to see my master and I had meant what I said.  I really didn’t want to see him.

I left my uneaten food and stepped away from the table.  By now, the pain in my backside had faded to a manageable degree and I could move around with only a little discomfort.  I pulled on my coat and headed outside.

The air was icy and each time I breathed in, the cold burned my lungs.  I walked mindlessly through the empty garden, wishing the cold would numb my brain like it numbed my skin.  I felt something wet kiss my face and I looked up to see gentle snowflakes falling to the ground.

I leaned against a deadened tree and simply watched as pure white blanketed the ground.  The footprints I had made in the snow slowly disappeared and it was like I was never there.  I smiled, if only snow could erase everything.  I don’t remember how many times I had wished to become pure again, to regain the innocence that was snatched from me.  Sadly, that wasn’t how life worked and although time could mask pain, the scars would always remain.

I don’t know how long I stood there and I didn’t realize as the air grew colder and the wind became more biting.  Subconsciously, I probably knew it was time to go in, but I just couldn’t bring myself to move away.

“Ryeowook!”

I tore my eyes away from the snowflakes when I heard someone calling my name.  I saw Kyuhyun approaching, an irritated look in his face.

“!  Do you know how long I’ve been looking for you!?”

I shrugged, returning my gaze to the ever falling snow. 

“It’s not like anyone forced you to come looking for me”

He was momentarily silent and I didn’t have to look at him to know there was a frown on his face.

“Ugh, whatever” he huffed, “C’mon let’s go in.  If you stay here any longer you’ll freeze to death… unless that’s what you intended to do”

I laughed bitterly,

“Suicide wasn’t even on my mind.  I can’t just leave, if I do, they win”

Kyuhyun didn’t ask who “they” were, but even so, I felt like he knew what I was talking about.

“Well if you have no plans to die, let’s go.  It’s freezing out here”

I nodded, but didn’t budge from where I stood,

“Kyuhyun” I began softly, my eyes focused on the white flurries.  “Isn’t the snow beautiful?”

This time I looked at him, waiting for his response.  His eyes seemed blank as he shot a cursory glance at the sky.

“I don’t know” he finally replied, “What does beauty even mean?”

“Beauty is something that touches you.  It’s not an objective thing, it’s a personal reflection, not something that others can decide for you”

Some unreadable emotion flashed in his dark eyes, but it was fleeting. 

“I don’t see beauty, there’s nothing beautiful to me anymore”

He stared at his feet, almost like he refused to acknowledge the snow that continued to fall.  I was puzzled by his answer, but wasn’t given much time to think about it as he started walking away.  I didn’t know if he wanted me to follow him, but I did anyway, trying to shake the stiffness from my limbs.

There had been something bitter in his voice, something almost threatening.  I didn’t know what to make of it and at the same time I wondered why it bothered me so much.

He wasn’t really my friend, but at the same time, he wasn’t a stranger.  Maybe deep down I was starting to care for him… maybe even like him a little.  Maybe, but I still couldn’t be sure.  He was like me, too guarded and wary to really know what was going through his head.

However, I liked that feeling of distance.  It made me feel safe knowing that neither of us would ever really know the other’s heart.  Getting too close to someone would only invite pain, and the heavens knew I had had enough pain in my life.

I glanced outside the window and noticed that the snow had finally stopped.  The ground was carpeted in the glistening white and there were no blemishes on its perfect surface.  I didn’t know why this fact made me uncomfortable.

Maybe it was because I knew that nothing was ever perfect and the snow was only an illusion, hiding the scars that lay beneath its cover.  Maybe it was the fact that even though I knew what the snow hid, I still found it beautiful. 

It could have been any of those reasons, but I had a feeling that the true reason had to do with Kyuhyun’s haunting words.

“I don’t see beauty, there’s nothing beautiful to me anymore”

With those words, one of the strictly guarded barriers between us fell, and that worried me.

The snow had stopped.  There was nothing to hide beneath anymore.

What could be done if more barriers came crashing down?

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Yay!  I managed to squeeze in another update... sorry it's boring but you know...

Thanks for reading you guys, I love you! ^^

Music: "Where You At?" by Taeyang (throw back status!!!!)