I would be lying if I said that things went back to normal. At the same time, however, it was impossible to say things had completely changed. We never talked about that day when Kyuhyun revealed his past, but after that, so many things snapped into place for me.

It was strangely comforting to understand Kyuhyun. True, he was still a mystery to me, but it felt like a blurred image slowly coming to focus. For instance, his warnings about becoming my master’s concubine no doubt traced back to the memories of his mother. Similarly, I understood why he could see the signs of my being . He probably saw those same signs in his mother.

However, while I liked the idea of decoding Kyuhyun, I was still careful to maintain some distance. I may have wanted to know, but the thought also scared me. I had no business getting close to anyone, especially not someone as scarred as Kyuhyun.

Besides me starting to understand him more, the only other shift was in Kyuhyun himself. He no longer seemed cold and stoic. He remained arrogant, but he didn’t try to hide what he was feeling when he was around me. Instead of keeping his eyes guarded and unreadable, he had started to let me in. He allowed me to see his emotions.

Training had resumed, and we fell back into our routine. Luckily, it seemed the other soldiers took Kyuhyun’s threat seriously. I got a few lewd looks and heard some foul language, but no one dared to lay a hand on me.

In a way, I had become little more than Kyuhyun’s servant. Although I did deliver water and equipment to some on the other training sections, I was usually stuck at the archery section with Kyuhyun. Interestingly enough, most people didn’t realize I was a servant. When I was getting water I overheard some of the men talking and I was shocked to hear them speculate about me.

Most of them thought I was Kyuhyun’s close friend, some even thought I was his lover. It really took me by surprise, not one of them guessed the truth. None of them realized that I was a lowly slave, a slave that didn’t even belong to Kyuhyun.

I suppose if I looked at things objectively, I could understand their confusion. Kyuhyun certainly didn’t treat me like a slave, and I certainly didn’t treat him like a master. When I was with Kyuhyun, I could almost forget that I was in so low a position. He always treated me like I was his equal.

I’m sure people’s perceptions were also skewed by the fact that we were almost always together. I’m not entirely sure when we adopted this habit, but at this point, it was rare for me to be out of his sight for more than a few minutes.

I was stuck pondering these strange realizations when a horse galloped into the archery section. It wasn’t uncommon to see horses, but it was rare to see a horse so decorated. I figured it must have been a messenger sent by the king.

My speculations proved correct as Kyuhyun was handed a small note which he read quickly. My curiosity peaked when I saw his forehead crease and I wondered if the message had something to do with his father.

I watched as Kyuhyun talked to the messenger, obviously not understanding the message. I found myself unconsciously moving towards him, trying to catch the gist of their conversation.

“Why does he need him?” I heard Kyuhyun ask.

“I’m not sure Commander, I was only told that the king would like to speak to him”

Kyuhyun nodded, still looking a bit suspicious. He folded the paper back up and scanned the immediate area. His eyes settled on me and he beckoned me forward. I approached, thinking he was going to send me to find the guy the king wanted to speak to. However, I was startled when Kyuhyun told me,

“The king wants to talk to you”

“M-me? Why?” I spluttered, worried that I had done something to anger him.

Khuhyun shook his head, indicating his ignorance, but I could see the curiosity in his eyes.

“C’mon, I’ll take you back to the castle”

I was about to whine, not wanting to ride his monster of a horse, but I didn’t get the chance.

“Actually, the king has sent a carriage. He requested that the young man come alone”

Kyuhyun and I exchanged looks, he seemed confused while I was just worried. I knew King Hangeng was a nice and fair man, but he was still a king with immeasurable power. I had every right to be concerned.

Kyuhyun looked back at the messenger and nodded stiffly in understanding. The messenger turned to me with a polite smile and gestured for me to follow after him.

The whole journey back to the castle I scanned my mind, trying to think of any reason why the king would want to see me. The only two things I could come up with was the situation with Yesung, and my witnessing Kyuhyun’s violence towards the Head General.

My guess was that the latter was the main cause for concern. Even if the king did know about the confusion between my master, Kyuhyun, and myself; I didn’t see how it would really make a difference to him. The fight between Kyuhyun and his father seemed to be the more likely topic because the king himself played a direct role in it.

The only question was what the king wanted to talk to me about. As far as I could see, it didn’t seem like a big issue, so why was I being summoned?

I stood hesitantly outside the king’s chambers, I wasn’t sure if I was supposed to knock or just wait for someone to invite me in. Luckily, I didn’t have to wait too long before a servant opened the door and bowed politely.

I bowed in response and followed the man deeper into the king’s private chambers. As we walked I grew increasingly nervous. I couldn’t help but hope that I hadn’t done anything wrong.

Finally, we entered a lavish sitting room that overlooked the snow covered gardens. The room was brightly lit with the clear winter sunshine and there was a warm fire that kept the room comfortable. The king looked up when we entered and he smiled kindly.

I immediately got to my knees, bowing to show my humility and respect. The king bowed his head slightly in response and then gestured for me to stand. The servant who had led me in quickly took his leave, leaving me alone with the most powerful man in the kingdom.

King Hangeng smiled and gestured to the chair that sat opposite his dark mahogany desk. I obediently sat down, doing my best not to tremble and show my nervousness.

“You’re Ryeowook, right?”

I nodded and he continued,

“Now, tell me if I’m wrong, but aren’t you really Prince Yesung’s personal servant? If so then why are you always with Commander Cho?”

He didn’t sound angry, but rather curious.

“Y-yessir” I answered, but felt the need to explain, “You see, the crown prince is my master, but recently some… u-unforeseen circumstances have arisen. Kyuhyun-sshi felt it was best that we be separated and he graciously took me under his care”

The king looked thoughtful for a moment before musing aloud,

“I assume you don’t want to tell me of these ‘unforeseen circumstances’”

I winced slightly and simply nodded, hoping he would respect my wishes. Luckily, the king dropped the subject and revealed his true reason for calling me in.

“I’m assuming you know about Kyuhyun’s past now”

I stiffened slightly at the reminder of his dark history and this didn’t escape the king’s eye. He smiled sympathetically,

“It’s an awful tale”

His averted his gaze towards the window, and his eyes grew misty and faraway.

“Ever since Kyuhyun’s mother was murdered, he’s never been the same. I suppose that’s understandable, but what’s curious is that I think he’s starting to change again”

I blinked in surprise, not sure whether I was more startled by the king’s fond tone or the fact that he seemed so sensitive to Kyuhyun’s plight.

“I can’t be sure why he’s changing, but I can’t help but think it has something to do with you”

I coughed slightly, having inhaled too suddenly at his words.

“E-excuse m-me?” I gasped.

The king smiled slightly, but his eyes still lingered out the window.

“Kyuhyun refuses to let himself get close to anyone. He’s too scared that if he loves someone they will be taken away like his mother. He doesn’t form emotional attachments because he can’t handle the pain of losing someone he cares about again”

Finally, King Hangeng’s eyes left their position and met my wide ones.

“But it seems different with you, you two seem close. I’m not sure if Kyuhyun just hasn’t noticed it, but lately he’s been acting differently and I think you may be the reason for his change”

I swallowed thickly and asked,

“I-is that a g-good thing?”

The king shook his head,

“I honestly can’t say. The fact that he willingly told you about his trauma is promising, but I know Kyuhyun. He thinks he’s gotten over his past and he believes he’s perfectly fine. In reality, he’s just bottled it up, he’s blocked it from his memory and does his best to pretend like nothing ever happened. That’s not getting over it, the longer he avoids the issue the worse it gets. He can’t truly move on unless he faces the truth, and that's simply something he isn’t prepared to do”

I paled slightly. Kyuhyun was doing exactly what I had been doing for practically my whole life. I almost laughed at the hideous irony. Both Kyuhyun and I wanted nothing but to escape our pasts, yet this desire was the thing that chained us to them.

“Your Highness?” I finally asked, “Why exactly are you telling me all this?” I finally asked, not liking the fact that his words had made me see the truth in myself.

“I’m telling you, because I hope you can help him”

I almost scoffed aloud. It was funny in a sick way. How was someone as broken as myself supposed to fix Kyuhyun? It was impossible.

“Maybe at the same time, he’ll end up helping you”

My head snapped up and I looked at him. The king’s eyes flashed with recognition.

“I can see it. I know you are damaged, but I still think you might be the only person who can help him. You may be the only one who can make him open up”

I fought the bitter laugh that threatened to spill from my lips. My head was spinning and my brain refused to process what was going on. The stimulus was too much and now my mind was whirling. This was too much, everything was just too much.

Eager to focus on anything other than my swirling thoughts and emotions I blurted out,

“Why do you care about him so much?”

I regretted the question as soon as I said it, but the king didn’t seem offended by my tactless prying.

“I care because I feel partly responsible for what has happened to him. When I recruited him, I knew about his mother’s history with General Cho, I knew Kyuhyun was his son. But still, I begged her to come back to the castle, I begged her to let Kyuhyun come. When she agreed, I honestly didn’t think anything bad would come of it. I didn’t even begin to foresee the pain I would cause that child. Although I didn’t play a direct role in his mother’s murder, I can’t help but feel responsible”

“That’s why you treat him as your son?”

“Mmhm, I’m sure you know that my own child was stolen away long before Kyuhyun ever came into my life. When I first saw Kyuhyun as a boy, I knew he was special and I wanted nothing more than to care for him and give him a good future. Perhaps it was my paternal instinct, but I wanted to take him under my wing”

His eyes grew sad as he continued,

“But as I said, he closed himself off when his mother died. As much as I tried, I could never reach him and bring back the boy with the bright eyes. I truly love Kyuhyun as a son, and I hope that deep down he might love me as a father. So to answer your question truthfully, I care because I feel guilty, but I also care because he is my son”

I bit my lip, not sure how I was supposed to respond. When Kyuhyun told me his story, he said the king knew nothing about his mother’s relation with the General. Was Kyuhyun lying, or did he just refuse to believe the truth? Was this just another reality he was trying to avoid?

The king asked me to stay for tea, but I politely declined. I was in no state to sit idly and make meaningless small talk. I suppose I was never in a state to do so, but my current problems made this fact especially so.

I walked idly and before I realized it, my feet led me back to Kyuhyun’s quarters. I reached a hand to open the door, but then stopped. I knew he would be back by now and I knew he’d question me as soon as he saw me. I wasn’t ready for that.

I sighed and leaned my back against the door, sliding down until I reached the ground. I pulled my knees to my chest and wrapped my arms around them to secure them in place. I tried to sort out my thoughts and examine them, hoping it would lead me to some sort of understanding.

However, that hope was short lived as I could only focus on one glaring thought. I was like Kyuhyun in so many ways it was almost scary. Like Kyuhyun, I had to desire to escape truth and the acute pain that always came with it.

But to escape, I knew I had to face my inner demons. Both Kyuhyun and I were at a standstill. I wondered if Kyuhyun understood that accepting the darkness within him was the only way to fully escape it. I knew that well. I knew it was the only way to move forward.

But what if I wanted to avoid this reality? What if I didn’t want to know what Kyuhyun and I could become?

Because truthfully, I didn't.

I didn't want to know.

I'M BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*throws confetti and glomps on all of you*

You guys have no idea how much I missed you and how much I missed writing this!

I literally finished my last AP Test today and the first thing I did was log onto AFF. Sorry this update took a little while bc I forgot what was going on and had to re-read...

Yeah, fail author, I know >.<

Anyway, this chappie is pretty long and probably frightfully boring, but IDGAF!

I'm just freakin happy to be back!

*skips off to catch up on all the fanfiction she's missed out on*

OH, BTW....

Just a quick question.

If I were to write a crack/derp/comedy fic with Suju (obviously Kyuwook) and maybe Exo, would you guys read it?

KK THX! BAI!!!

*stabbed bc this is the longest a/n ever*