Things were awkward.

I wasn’t really sure what I had been expecting, but I honestly didn’t think we would end up like this.  Now that it was clear that we mutually liked each, I couldn’t even look at Kyuhyun without blushing.  The snarky banter was gone, replaced with uncertain smiles and uncomfortable silence.

Suddenly, simple tasks like changing his bandages or helping him walk took on new meanings.  Each time we had to touch, the embarrassment was almost too much to bear.

I suppose it was to be expected.  It’s not like either of us actually knew how to be with another person, at least not on an emotional level.  It was difficult to figure out what was considered ‘okay’ or ‘normal’ in a relationship when neither of us had any prior experience.

So, we settled for being awkward.  Looking away when our eyes met, jumping slightly when the other spoke, pulling our hands away when they touched. 

It was in this climate that Kyuhyun began his rehabilitation.

At first, the doctor was the one administering treatment.  It was actually nice to have someone else around because the strange tension between us seemed to lessen in the presence of other people.  Under the doctor’s supervision, I learned how to perform the exercises that would help strengthen Kyuhyun’s shoulder and speed up his healing.

The doctor also performed a series of cognitive tests that helped him determine Kyuhyun’s mental health.  He had to make sure that Kyuhyun wasn’t suffering from brain damage or post-traumatic stress.  Luckily, true to form, Kyuhyun proved he was a mastermind as he passed each test with ease.

The doctor told us that Kyuhyun would be cleared for discharge as soon as his physical condition was up to par.  With that in mind, everything became about getting stronger in the shortest amount of time possible.

Soon, the doctor decided that I could care for Kyuhyun on my own, and he left me in charge of overseeing his recovery.  For a while, things remained tentative.  Each time I helped him with his exercises he grew tense and I blushed bright red.  Needless to say it was an inefficient arrangement.

One night after a particularly strained day, I found myself staring out the window and watching the snow.  It was quiet and I assumed Kyuhyun was asleep.  I let out a tired sigh and rubbed the back of my neck.

I didn’t look up when I heard the sheets rustle, thinking Kyuhyun had simply shifted in his sleep.  It was only when I heard the padding sound of feet did I look up.

“Kyuhyun?  What are you doing?  Do you need to go to the restroom?”

He hesitated slightly before shaking his head and walking over to me.  I went rigid as he sat down in the chair opposite of me.  I stared down at my hands as he said softly,

“Ryeowook, we need to talk about this… about us”

I bit my lip, but nodded.  I agreed, we needed to figure things out because the way we were going now was getting us nowhere. 

“I know things between us are weird right now, but I can’t let that get in the way of getting better.  I don’t know what Siwon is up to, but I don’t want to be stuck here when he finally strikes.  I need to get back out there”

I nodded and he continued,

“We just need to push all these emotions aside and focus.  I think I can act normally, how about you?”

I spoke up,

“I can try.  I can’t promise to act like I did before, but I’ll try not to be too act so uptight with you”

I looked up and he sent me a grateful smile.  I returned the gesture with a small smile of my own.

“But I have a request”

He nodded slowly, curiosity evident in his eyes.  I took a deep breath and continued,

“When you return, I want to go with you.  I hate not knowing what’s going on…” I blushed and mumbled, “especially when I don’t know if you’re okay”

I watched him as he mulled it over, obviously conflicted.  I reached over and grabbed his hand, ignoring the fact that he twitched slightly.

“Please?” I asked.

He looked me in the eye and let out a defeated sigh,

“Alright, I don’t like the idea of you being out there, but I suppose I’d rather have you close.  It’s easier to keep an eye on you”

I bit back a triumphant grin as I huffed in mock irritation,

“Keep your eye on me?  Psh, think I’m gonna run away, Commander?”

He eyed me carefully before that infamous smirk graced his lips,

“Well you do have a history of running”

**********

“How’re you feeling?” I asked, keeping a close eye on his face.

Kyuhyun shrugged, obviously struggling to keep his breathing even.  I frowned slightly, wondering if I should make him go back inside for fear he was over-exerting himself.  As if reading my thoughts he suggested,

“Just one more time around”

I nodded and we continued to trudge through the snow as we circled the hospital.  Kyuhyun was improving every day, getting stronger with each passing hour.  He had regained almost full motion in his shoulder and the bandages around his chest were ready to be removed soon.

Even now, he had progressed to the point where he could march through knee-deep snow for a substantial amount of time.  Despite his improvement, I could see Kyuhyun was still irritated by his current state.  He wasn’t back to his normal standard and it clearly frustrated him.

Besides his injuries, the fact that he had spent so much time in bed had lowered his stamina.  This fact was the main reason why he had demanded we start taking walks every day.

Out of the corner of my eye I could see Kyuhyun’s breaths become shallow, and I was grateful to see that we were almost back at the hospital’s front entrance.  I gripped his hand without thinking and tugged him towards the door, not wanting him to extend the walk.

Kyuhyun didn’t protest and I knew he was exhausted.  I slowly led him back to the room, allowing him time to catch his breath.

Once I got him settled back into his bed, I busied myself with boiling some water so I could brew his special tea.  The doctor had taken Kyuhyun off the pain medication, but in its place he prescribed an herbal tea that supposedly encouraged muscle repair.

I wasn’t sure I believed in the tea’s magical healing abilities, all I knew was that it was bitter and much too strong for my taste.  I much preferred hot lemon water myself.

As I measured out a scoop of the tea mixture I could feel Kyuhyun looking at me so I asked,

“Do you need anything?”

“Not really, I was just wondering if you realized that you held my hand the whole way back”

I stiffened slightly, my cheeks growing warm.  He didn’t sound annoyed at the fact, but he also didn’t seem overly excited about my unconscious act of contact. 

I shrugged it off, returning to my task of making tea,

"I'm sorry?" I apologized tentatively, not sure if it was the response he wanted.

He chuckled softly and I turned around and shot him a curious look.  He shook his head and gestured for me to come closer.  I poured his tea into a cup and walked over to his bed, still not understanding what he wanted.

I handed him the tea but he put it on the bedside table almost immediately.  Instead, he reached for my hand and squeezed it while sending me an uncertain smile.

"Why are you apologizing?... It was nice..."

I snorted, and rolled my eyes but I couldn't stop the blush that painted my cheeks.

"When did you get so sappy?" I muttered.

He scowled and dropped my hand, shifting so he faced away for me.  I had to stop myself from laughing at his childishness.  I suppressed a smile as I picked up the tea and offered it to him again.

"Drink your tea" I said, handing him the cup.

He took it, still refusing to look my way.  I laughed quietly at his behavior and quickly pressed a fleeting kiss on his cheek.  When I pulled away, he was staring at me, his eyes wide with shock.

"W-what was that all about?" He asked.

I grinned and shrugged easily,

"I dunno" I replied teasingly, using his own choice of words.

“Like hell you don’t” he answered back, a playful smirk on his face as he relayed my own words back at me.

I laughed quietly, amused that the words that had seemed so tense and defensive now turned playful and light.  It gave me hope (albeit only slightly) that our relationship was actually evolving.  Like how the impact of our words changed, maybe we were changing too.

In that moment, I let myself believe that perhaps change wasn’t always bad.

I turned away and started to clean up, a slightly stupid smile on my face.  Maybe we were awkward and weird, but I was starting to think that it was okay.  I was starting to believe that maybe liking Kyuhyun wasn't such a disastrous thing after all.

I snuck a peek at Kyuhyun out of the corner of my eye and saw he was sipping his tea, a small smile painted on his lips.  

Maybe he was starting to think that way too.

Holy Shisus... I really didn't mean to abandon you guys for that long.  Sorry but work was crazy, 8 hours a day for 5 days a week is really hard...

I know I had days off but I had to register for school and ...

I really am sorry you guys, pleae forgive me *insert Ryeowook's puppy dog eyes*

Lol, anyway I totally forgot what was happening in thi story and I literally had to go back an re-read the last few chapters

-shot for being a ty author-

Anyway work ended for me yesterday so hopefully I will be updating more often,  but no promises because school starts in September and I have to get ready to move and stuff.

this was way to long... Imma go now...

Music: "Growl (Chinese ver.)"- Exo (I personally thing the Chinese ver has better flow, idk it might just be me)