“She’s still sleeping,” I heard Seunghyun’s voice in my sleepiness, “but you can come here to wake her up yourself.”

I sat up, and I saw him standing in the kitchen with his back at me. He was talking to the phone, and I knew it was Jiyong on the other line.

“We were pretty drunk last night, so I was in no condition to drive. And I can’t let her go back by herself, it was freaking two in the morning.” Seunghyun turned around and met eyes with me. “And don’t worry, I slept on the couch, Jiyong.”

What he said was true, except that he didn’t sleep alone. I was with him, and what we did last night was beyond anybody’s forgiveness. Even I couldn’t forgive myself.

He ended the call, and walked towards me with two mugs of coffee. I looked at myself, and I was fully dressed. Did he put on my clothes for me?

“Jiyong’s on his way. Here, have some coffee.”

He settled beside me and his calmness sent shivers through my spine. Did last night never happen? Was it just a dream?

“Jiyong doesn’t have to know about last night. Unless you want to break his heart, let’s just keep this to ourselves.” He seemed to be able to read my mind. I sipped the coffee, and it was just the way I like. He knew me better than I thought he would.

I must be out of my sanity. Numerous questions appeared in my mind but I had no answer for it. I was unable to think at that moment, it felt like my brain was empty, I had no idea of what to do next.

What would happen to Jiyong and me?

What would happen to Seunghyun and me?

And what would happen to Jiyong and Seunghyun?

I didn’t know what got into me last night. Was it lust? Was I actually had feelings for Seunghyun? Was the alcohol taking control of me? I gave him that small peck, he asked for it, but then, he felt so desirable, and his kisses were so passionate, I got carried away. I felt his skin on my skin and things got heated. And I was left with regrets this morning.

“Seunghyun, what should we do?” He still looked at me, we were still on the sofa.

“It’s up to you. If you want to come clean with Jiyong, I’ll back you up. We are in this together. If Jiyong decides to let you go, you can come to me. My door and my heart are always open for you.”

His answers didn’t help me at all. I loved Jiyong with all my heart, how could I break this sin to him? It would crush him, and I couldn’t bear to do that. The thought of him possibly leaving me scared me the most.

Seunghyun’s door bell rang. Jiyong had arrived. I ran to the toilet and locked the door. I couldn’t face him yet.

“Where is she?” I heard Jiyong’s voice.

I turned the pipe and splashed the cold water on my face. My hands were trembling, and if I couldn’t bring myself to relax, Jiyong would sense that something was wrong. Then there was a knock on the door.

“Hey Hani, I’m here. Open up.” Jiyong said.

“I’m using the toilet, Jiyong. Wait for me in the living room.” I managed to reply. This is so hard, I didn’t know what to do. What should I do?