I just got one comment in the third chapter yesterday, and it was :( but yeah, I'm trying to be a responsible author here, so... this is the fourth chapter for you guys.. enjoy..

 

Tiffany's POV

I sighed and rubbed my eyes as I sipped my coffee. I was sitting in my car about to go into my first rehearsal with the band and I had just had the weekend from hell. Friday had started off brilliantly. The awesome jam session, showing Sooyoung my place, and then hanging out at Seoul Pub with the gang. And then Siwon had shown up.

I was so embarrassed by the way he acted towards Sooyoung, not mention the way that he had refused to even go and say hi to the others, including Jonghyun whose brother he'd gone to high school with. He had behaved like a possessive, childish jerk. Once we'd gotten back to my place we'd ended up having a huge stupid fight.

[Flash Back]

I stormed up the stairs and slammed open my door. Siwon followed me with a smug grin on his stupid, perfectly chiselled face. As soon as he closed the front door behind him I spun around and screeched at him, "Would it have killed you to be nice or at least polite to my friends tonight?!"

Siwon just ignored me and walked into the kitchen to help himself to a beer from my fridge. I stood there fuming as he walked around like he owned the place, like he owned me. "Well? Are you going to say anything?" I yelled.

Siwon calmly put his beer down on the bench, "Tiffany you are being far too emotional here. Those people are nothing to me, hell they should be nothing to you! I can't believe you're giving up such a prestigious position with the SACA orchestra to play in come dinky little garage band with that no hope you went to college with!"

I had to hold my hands behind my back to keep from taking a swing at him. "Those people are my friends, Siwon. They are good people, talented musicians and it is an honor that they are willing to let me play with them. As for the SACA orchestra I was being suffocated, I hated it there Siwon. I want to sing and write songs that effect people, that's what matters to me. God you are such an !" I stomped out of the room and down the hall to my bedroom.

I looked up at the sketch of me that Sooyoung had been admiring, which made the beautiful brunette come to mind. I felt so confused. It was so easy to be with her, but I couldn't go there again. Not after what had happened.

I was standing with my back to the door when Siwon came in, "Tiffany you are being ridiculous! I just want what's best for you and I am in shock that you are throwing away a position you worked so damn hard to get. Just wait ‘til your mother hears about this!"

I spun around and glared at him, "Oh of course you'll go running to my mother, why am I not surprised! ing hell Siwon! If you love my Mom so much why don't you just date her instead?!"

Siwon just smiled that stupid arrogant grin of his and stepped up to me pulling my body against his. I tensed up but let him crush his lips roughly against mine. I couldn't help but think that if Sooyoung were to ever kiss me it would never hurt like Siwon's kisses did.

Siwon his tongue violently into my mouth and I almost choked on it. After what felt like an eternity he pulled back and looked down at me, "I don't want your Mom, I want you. Tiff you're mine, remember that the next time your little brunette friend lays her hands on you."

I swallowed nervously and raised my eyes to meet his, "What are you talking about?"

Siwon's grin became a sneer, "What I'm talking about Tiffany is the little dyke, Sooyoung I believe her name is, that was all over you on the dance floor. It is not to happen again. You will remember that I am your boyfriend and you will act as such. Your Mom told me all about what happened at college and I will not allow that to be repeated now. Do you understand me?"

I went to argue with him but the cold calculating look on his face silenced me. The past was never going to let me be free. I was never going to be allowed to forget what had happened. I swallowed down the rage I felt and nodded. Siwon smiled and held me against him painfully tight, "Good. I'm sorry we had to fight baby. You know I love you."

I mumbled that I loved him too and let him lead me to my bed. I lay beneath him, letting him take my body knowing that he would never have my heart or soul. As I lay beneath him my mind drifted and the vision of a brown eyed brunette took me away from the man inside of me.

[End of Flash Back]

From there the weekend had gone from bad to worse. On Sunday night Siwon and I had gone to my parent's house for dinner, which would be wonderful if only my mother wasn't there. I adored my father, brothers and their girlfriends but my mother was the bane of my existence.

When I was younger me and my Mom had been really close, but all that changed when I stopped living up to her expectations of me. I guess you never really know that a parent's love is conditional until you don't behave the way they demand of you.

My mom loved Siwon, she thought he was the epitome of what a partner for her daughter should be. She forced us together and relentlessly wore me down until I agreed to give him a chance, three months later and I'm stuck. I don't want to be with him, but I can't disappoint my mother again, not after what happened in college…

I was startled from my thoughts by a tapping on my car window. I turned and my eyes met the most beautiful mocha eyes that have ever been in existence. I gave her a small smile before grabbing my bag and coffee and jumping out of the car. "Hi, Sooyoung."

"Hey Hazel, are you okay? You look like you've been crying?" Sooyoung asked with concern.

I raised a hand to my cheek and was surprised to find it damp with tears. I hadn't even realized I'd been crying. I forced a smile onto my face, "I'm fine, just had a long day at work."

Sooyoung looked at me like she wasn't buying it but she kindly let it go. "So you're still working at the SACA right?"

"Yeah, I quit the orchestra but I'm still doing music tutorials and acting as a teaching assistant to the violin teacher. I love helping people find their passion in music," I said softly ad I walked around to my trunk. I opened it and pulled out my Gibson and Fender bass. Sooyoung reached over and took the Fender from me and we walked in silence towards Jonghyun's front door.

I couldn't look at her. It was too bewildering and too painful. My brain felt like it was going to implode from all the conflicting thoughts and emotions that were running through it. Instead I led the way into the house and out to the rehearsal space where everyone else was already tuning their instruments and stuff.

Yuri gave me a huge smile and a quick hug, while Minhyuk just gave me a big brotherly hug and Jonghyun gave me a kiss on the cheek, "Hey Tiffany so glad you're here, let's get this underway!"

The next two hours were spent getting me familiar with the songs in the bands catalogue. Many were original songs while the rest were covers. A lot of rehearsal time was spent showing me the original songs, they were good…no they were great songs and I caught on pretty quickly but it was going to take a fair bit of work for me to nail them.

I said as much to Jonghyun who immediately called Sooyoung over, once she joined us he said, "Sooyoung-ah, I was thinking that maybe you and Tiffany could put some extra work in to get her up to speed on the songs. Seeing as you wrote them it would make sense that you were the one who helped her learn them. Hell maybe Tiffany can help with the ones we can't make work."

Sooyoung nodded and smiled at me, "Yeah I'd be happy to, I think you and I just might work well together."

I swallowed and nodded with a forced smile, "Sure sounds good. We can…uh do it at my place in my music room if you like?"

"Sounds perfect, I'm free tomorrow if that works for you?" Sooyoung said with the most beautiful, nose crinkling grin I have ever seen.

"I'll be at work ‘til 2 but after that I'm available," I said.

"Perfect." Sooyoung beamed at me and I couldn't help but smiled back. Working with her was going to be a unique form of torture for my confused and overwhelmed brain.

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I walked into my apartment at 2.45, running about thirty minutes late. I had been held up at work, again, and now Sooyoung was due at my place in 15 minutes so we could work on the songs. The place was a ing pig sty. Siwon had come around last night and as always left the place like a tip. He can truly be so thoughtless!

I raced around trying to make the place as presentable as possible, managing to do a pretty decent job of it if I do say so myself. I was just throwing the last beer bottle in the recycling when there was a knock on my front door. I looked down and sighed, I hadn't even gotten a chance to change out of my work clothes, stupid ing Siwon!

I swing open the door and give Sooyoung a warm smile, despite how confused and messed up my feelings for her are I am happy to see her. "Hey Brown." I murmur softly, stepping back to let her in.

"Hey Hazel, did you just get in?" She grinned and pointed to my rather conservative teaching attire of a pair of charcoal grey slacks and a black shirt.

"No Sherlock," I said with a grin, making her laugh. Oh God her laugh…it is beautiful. I knew I had to stop thinking about her like that, nothing would or could ever happen between us. I wouldn't let it.

We walked to the centre of the living room and stood awkwardly, Sooyoung holding her guitar case. "Um can I get you anything? A drink?" I asked desperate to break the silence.

Sooyoung shook her head and smiled softly at me, "No I'm good thanks, want to get started?"

I nodded and lead her down the hall to the music room, "Um if it's ok I'll just go and get changed quickly, this isn't the most comfortable outfit to rehearse in."

"Sure Hazel, I'll get the music all ready to go," Sooyoung beamed at me and turned to her bag.

I walked down the hall to my bedroom and quickly changed into a pair of comfy jeans and a black tank top. I pulled my hair up into a messy pony tail so that it was out of my face. I couldn't resist a quick sprits of perfume before I headed out of my room. I tried to tell myself it was because I was stinky from work, not because I wanted to smell good for Sooyoung…even I didn't believe myself.

I padded on bare feet into the music room, unheard by the gorgeous women in there. Sooyoung was standing in front of the window just looking out over the park that was across the road. She looked so peaceful and perfect in that moment I wanted to forget everything and just hold her in my arms.

She must have felt me looking because she turned around and grinned at me. I blushed at having been caught staring and moved further into the room. I took a seat on the piano stool and idly tapped on the keys, a nervous habit of mine. "So should we get started then?" I said, trying hard not to look over at her.

"Sure Hazel. Hey are you alright?" She asked softly, moving to stand beside the piano. I nodded and unconsciously began playing Ode to Joy on the piano. What can I say when I'm nervous I can't keep my fingers still. Suddenly I felt her fingers on the back of my neck lightly tracing over my skin.

"Another y tat Miss Hwang, wow you are so not what I'd expect from a classical violinists. I'm impressed.", She said with a smirk as her fingers traced the tattoo on the back of my neck. I couldn't help but shiver at her touch, which I think she felt because she took her fingers away. "Why a vine, Hazel?"

I smiled as I thought about the day I'd gotten that ink done. "The first tattoo, the one on my hip, was one I could easily hide from my Mom (although she did eventually find it) but this one was my rebellion," I paused and both me and Sooyoung laughed, "I got it in the summer between my first year at college and my second. I was sick of conforming to the classical music world that my mother wanted for me and what better way to make a statement than to get something tattooed on myself. I chose the vine because a) it looked hot and b) because it symbolized growth."

Sooyoung smirked and said, "Well it is certainly hot, Hazel."

I blushed and bit my lower lip, "Thanks Brown. So you got any tats?"

Sooyoung threw back her head and laughed, "Yeah, maybe I'll show you sometime." She winked at me and I felt a rush of desire course through me.

I smirked and said, "I'd like that," then reality kicked in and I remembered why I couldn't do this with her. I cleared my throat and looked purposefully away from her. Sooyoung immediately picked up my changed in mood and a slight frown made its way onto her beautiful face. We existed in an awkward silence for a while, neither of us knowing quite what to say.

"So it was um nice meeting your boyfriend the other night," She finally said hesitantly. I think it was her way of showing that she knew why I couldn't give into what we were both obviously feeling. If only Siwon was the only problem.

Pushing those thoughts away as best I could I scoffed, "Yeah nice."

She lowered her head and looked at her feet, "Why didn't to mention you have a boyfriend?" I just shrugged, the answer was one I wasn't even sure of. "Ok, so how long have you guys been together?"

"About three months. My mother introduced us, he acted as divorce lawyer for one of her friends." I answered still playing away on the piano.

"Wow a lawyer huh? Isn't that every mother's dream for her daughter?" Sooyoung smiled, but it didn't quite reach her eyes.

"Yeah, I guess, my mother loves him. Um so shouldn't we be working?" I asked, desperate to stop talking about the man I was meant to be falling in love with.

"Yeah you're right. Ok so here is the songs we'll work on today, please let me know if you can think of any changes or improvements we can make. I'd love to get your input," Sooyoung walked over to a stool across from the piano and pulled an electric guitar onto her lap and flicked on the amp. I moved beside her and pulled the strap of my Fender bass over my head before flick on another amp.

We played for over four hours, going over songs until I knew them by heart. I have always been blessed to be able to learn music by ear so that really helped speed the process along. Sooyoung was sublimely talented and I was blown away by the songs she had written. Between the two of us we made a few changes and the songs were sounding brilliant. We worked incredibly together.

"Wow that was fan-ing-tastic, Hazel!" Sooyoung exclaimed as we finished off the last song we had been working on. I just laughed and set my bass back in its stand.

"We make a good team, Brown," I smile over at her.

"That we do," She said with a slight smirk. I swallowed audibly and tried to distract myself by moving to the piano and playing the music to a song I had been writing.

Sooyoung's POV

I closed my eyes as I listened to the beautiful melody Tiffany was playing on the piano, "Hey Hazel, what song is that?" I asked opening my eyes and gazing over at her.

"It's one I'm writing at the moment, it doesn't really have lyrics yet and it's not good," Tiffany bowed her head and took her fingers off the keys.

I looked at her in disbelief, "Are you kidding that melody is really beautiful, um maybe we could work on it together?"

Tiffany grinned over at me and nodded, "Yeah that'd be good, once I get all these songs down, we'll do that."

"You got any other songs you've written that you might want the band to perform?" I asked excitedly, she was so talented I had a feeling that anything she'd written would have to be pretty freaking amazing.

"Yeah actually I have, I have a few CDs with the songs I've recorded, would you like to hear some?" She asked shyly. I liked her shy, she was so cute. Although all the mixed signals I'd been getting from her were giving me a head ache.

"Yeah Hazel, I'd love to," I answered her with a smile. Tiffany went and pulled out a few CDs and handed them to me as her phone started to ring.

Smiling apologetically she picked it up, her smile disappearing when she saw the caller id. She opened her phone and answered, "Hello Siwon," as she walked out of the room.

Wow I have never seen someone so unhappy about speaking to their boyfriend or girlfriend. It was seriously strange. She seemed so miserable with him and I swear to God she has flirted with me from time to time, I just didn't get it.

I opened the CD case in my hand and an unlabeled CD slid out from behind the cover. Ok so curiosity is one of my biggest faults so I walked over to the stereo and put the CD in. I hit play and a beautifully recorded song began to play. I put my hand on my chest and tapped along to the beat, and then the angelic voice of Tiffany Hwang spilled from the speakers.

"I'm still alive but I'm barely breathing
Just prayed to a god that I don't believe in
Cos I got time while she got freedom
Cos when a heart breaks no it don't break even

Her best days will be some of my worst
She finally met someone that's gonna put her first

While I'm wide awake she's no trouble sleeping
Cos when a heart breaks no it don't breakeven"

Wait a second is she singing about another girl? I thought to myself, more confused than ever. I listened to the rest of the song, my mind running on overdrive as I listened to the lyrics that Tiffany was singing.

"What am I suppose to do when the best part of me was always you
What am I suppose to say when I'm all choked up and you're ok
I'm falling to pieces
I'm falling to pieces

They say bad things happen for a reason
But not wise words gonna stop the bleeding
Cos she's moved on while I'm still grieving
Cos when a heart breaks no it don't breakeven

What am I suppose to do when the best part of me was always you
What am I suppose to say when I'm all choked up and you're ok
I'm falling to pieces
I'm falling to pieces
(One still in love while the other ones leaving
Cos when a heart breaks no it don't breakeven)

You got her heart and my heart and none of the pain
You took your suitcase, I took the blame.
Now I'm trying to make sense of what little remains
Cos you left me with no love, no love to my name.

I'm still alive but I'm barely breathing
Just prayed to a god that I don't believe in
Cos I got time while she got freedom
Cos when a heart breaks no it don't break even

What am I gonna do when the best part of me was always you
What am I suppose to say when I'm all choked up and your ok
I'm falling to pieces
I'm falling to pieces
(One still in love while the other ones leaving
Cos when a heart breaks no it don't breakeven)"

The music faded out and I sat there is stunned silence. There was no doubting it, that song was Tiffany singing about breaking up with another girl. What is going on? I thought to myself. The song was beautiful, the pain and heartbreak had flowed out of the speakers straight into my heart and I felt tears on my cheeks.

"Enjoy that did you?" Tiffany snarled from the door way. I spun around and saw her standing there, arms crossed glaring daggers at me. "I don't remember giving you that particular CD to listen to, but thank you so much for invading my privacy."

I looked at her shocked by the degree of anger she was directing at me. "Tiffany I'm sorry it fell out of one of the cases you gave me to listen to, I didn't realize it was something you didn't want me to hear. I'm really sorry."

Tiffany closed her eyes and swallowed hard. When she opened her eyes again her big Hazel eyes were shining with tears which made my heart ache for her. "No, I'm sorry Sooyoung, I shouldn't have gotten so angry, wow I haven't listened to that song in a long time," she took a shaky breathe and walked into the room and threw herself gracefully into the worn leather arm chair in front of the window. I walked over and perched on the piano stool.

"That song was one of the most heart breaking things I have ever heard. Um…"

She cut me off, "If you want to ask a question Sooyoung just ask it," She said tiredly, her big hazels eyes reflecting her resignation.

"That song, it's about a girl isn't it?" I asked tentatively.

She gave me a sad smile and nodded, "Yeah it is. Her name was, well is Jessica and we were together for just over a year. She was beautiful and kind and she cared about me. We met in our junior year of high school when she moved to my school. We connected instantly, it was intense and really confusing. We were friends at first, best friends but there was always something more to every hug, every touch, always some hidden meaning to it all.

Then one night, just after our junior prom actually, she kissed me and that was it. I had never felt anything like it before. We started seeing each other and it was pretty much perfect. The only problem being my mother. Mom is very religious, her uncles were both priests and she has been forcing religion down our throats since we were kids.

I remember once seeing a lesbian couple holding hand while I was at the grocery store with my Mom, this was shortly after me and Jessica got together. My Mom saw the couple and wouldn't stop talking about how disgusting it was and how she hoped I knew what a huge, unforgivable sin homouality was." Tiffany wiped away a tear that trickled down her face and gave me a broken smile. I felt my heart break for the woman sitting across from me. She took a deep breath and continued her story.

"So after that I was too scared to tell her I was dating a girl. I loved Jessica more than I have ever loved anyone, aside from my Dad and brothers. She was everything to me, but after a year she hated hiding who she was, hiding our love from everyone. She came out just before the end of senior year but I refused to. I insisted that our relationship remain a secret. That broke her heart, she hated hiding and I hated hurting her but I was ing scared.

We began to fight a lot, all the time in fact. Jessi just wanted us to be like a regular couple and not have to sneak around but I couldn't, I just couldn't. In the end it became too much for her and she broke up with me. God the pain of that was so bad, and the worst part was that no one knew why I was so broken because I had never let them see the beautiful girl who loved me.

I broke Jessica's heart and my own. About three months into our first semester at college, she started seeing another girl. Once I heard about that I got drunk and stayed that way for about a month. I almost flunked out of school but managed to pull it together, the music was too important to me to up. It was after that when I wrote that song."

I leaned forward and took her hand in mine, squeezing gently, "Tiffany thank you for sharing that with me. I'm so sorry you had to go through that. I know what that fears feels like and I wouldn't wish it on anyone."

Tiffany gave me a slight smile, "thanks, I know I haven't known you long but I get the feeling I can trust you Brown."

"You can I promise you." I was dying to ask questions, so many questions. She had never openly stated that she was gay or even biual but after hearing that story and seeing how she was with Siwon, I was pretty sure that she was gay.

Tiffany dried the tears on her cheeks and gave me a watery smile, before she yawned. "You're tired Tiff, and it has been a long day, I'll leave you to it." We tidied up the music room and Tiffany walked me down to my car. After I stowed my guitar safely in my car I turned around to face her.

She looked so beautiful standing there under the street light, but also so vulnerable. I could tell how scary it was for her to open up to me like she did. I smiled at her and said, "Tiffany I understand how scary it was for you when you were with Jessica. Hell when I came out in high school it was the scariest thing ever and my relationship with my mother has never been the same so I get it, I do. I'm here if you ever want to talk or anything ok?"

She bit her lip and nodded before pulling me towards her for a warm hug. It felt so completely right to be in her arms, like it was exactly where I was meant to be. I breathed in deeply and the delicious scent of her surrounded me. She smelt of vanilla and raspberries and I wanted to stay in her arms forever.

Tiffany pulled back out of my arms gently and gave me a warm smile, "Thanks Brown, for everything." She pushed some CDs into my hands and murmured, "Here's the songs I've written, let me know what you think." I beamed and nodded, I knew how personal my music was to me so it meant a lot she wanted me to hear hers.

We said our goodbyes and I got in my car. I waved and began to drive off my mind running over her story again and again. I couldn't help but wonder what had happened to Tiffany after Jessica and before Siwon. I had so many questions, it was so confusing!

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Don't be a silent readers, please? It's like I wrote for nothing, if I don't get any feedback :(

I'm trying to be a good author, so please, will you be a good readers?

anyway, thanks for reading, and subscribing, yeah..

bye for now

love ya guys~

 

p.s Song in this Chapter is Breakeven by The Script (I've just slightly altered the lyrics to fit the situation)