Thank you once again to all who care to leave some comments.

There were a lot of strong, beautiful responses and I am so grateful to everyone who takes the time to not only read my writing but to also write a response to it. I am overwhelmed by the response to this story. :"D This is chapter 16 for you guys! Enjoy~

Tiffany's POV

Time for band rehearsal and I was ting myself at the thought of coming face to face with Sooyoung after what had happened between us that morning. I had felt sick all day and had thought about her constantly, with some lovely thoughts of Siwon and what had happened thrown in to make sure that I was utterly useless at work that day, just like I had been all week to be frank.

It had gotten so bad that I had actually tried to play a violin upside down, the student I was tutoring found that one hilarious and had I been in a better mood I might have agreed with him. Instead I screamed at him and then stormed out, it was a diva moment I'll admit. Yeah SACA is so lucky to have me on their payroll!

I headed home quickly after work to change and grab my bass, I almost expected Sooyoung to still be there. The selfish part of me wanted to find her there refusing to accept the I'd thrown at her that morning. The selfish part of me wanted her there waiting to fight for us. It was that part of myself that burst into tears the moment I opened my door and found myself alone in my apartment.

The logical, rational part of me knew that it was for the best, that now Sooyoung could find someone else who could be everything she deserved, someone who could give back all that Sooyoung would bestow. I will admit I felt physically sick at the thought of her dating anyone else, but I had to let her go, I loved her enough to let her go.

As I was walking past my kitchen counter I noticed a piece of paper with my name written on it in an all too familiar hand. With trembling hands I lifted the paper and unfolded it.

Tiffany,

I'm not the one who broke you
I'm not the one you should fear
We got to move you darlin’
I thought I lost you somewhere
But you were never really ever there at all

And I want to get free
Talk to me
I can feel you falling
And I wanted to be
All you need
Somehow here is gone

I know you have your reasons why you're giving up on us, I know you think you're doing what's best for me, but you're wrong. What's best for me Tiffany, is being with you.

Like the lyrics above say, I thought I lost you somewhere, but you were never really ever there at all. I was thinking that I lost you this morning, but really I don't know if I ever really had you. I gave you all of me, in a short time you came to be everything to me, I wish I could be the same for you.

Sooyoung

Fresh tears started to fall as I reread her words. I wanted so badly to go back. To go back to the morning everything fell apart and to do it all differently. Instead of answering the door to Siwon, I'd leave him out there and call Kris's bouncer friends. Instead of following him to my bedroom I'd run out the front door and call the police. If only I'd done something differently then maybe Sooyoung and I wouldn't be apart and hurting so badly and maybe I wouldn't be so broken.

I headed to my bedroom and stripped out of my work clothes. I pulled on a pair of black shorts and a grey v-neck t-shirt. I slid on my Vans and swept my hair up into a ponytail to keep it out of my face. I quickly touched up my make-up, to hide the dark circles and tear streaks, which refused to stay hidden, and headed out.

I grabbed my bass and my bag and was about to leave the apartment when the vase full of lilies that Sooyoung had brought me caught my eye. They were so beautiful and meant all the more because she had remember that they were my favorites. I swallowed around the lump in my throat and blinked back tears before walking determinedly out of my apartment.

Even if my life was falling apart, at least I still had my music.

I climbed into my car and headed over to Jonghyun's. As I pulled up behind Minhyuk's van (had to be big to cart around his drums) I saw Sooyoung getting out of her car a little further down the street. She looked so beautiful and all I wanted to do was tell her what a fool I'd been and that I needed her. Of course that would be selfish of me and I wasn't going to do that to her.

I turned back to my car and got my bass out of the trunk. I slammed the trunk shut and as I turned around I came face to face with Sooyoung. She looked tired and her eyes were slightly red, my guess was that she had been crying. I looked longingly at her as silence descended on us.

"Hey Tiffany," She finally said, her eyes never leaving mine.

"Hi Sooyoung," I murmured. I stared down at my feet, not sure what to say next.

"How are you Hazel?" She asked softly. I snapped my eyes up to look at her and saw no anger or hurt in her eyes. Instead she looked as though she was concerned for me, which was ridiculous given what I had done to her.

"What are you doing Sooyoung? Why aren't you angry at me?" I asked wearily.

She cocked her head to the side and looked questioningly at me, "Do you want me to be Tiffany? Will that make you feel better?"

"No, I mean I don't know. I don't know what I'm thinking right now to be honest with you," I murmured as I ran a hand through my ponytail.

"I'd believe it. I kind of think you haven't been thinking so clearly since what happened with Siwon the other morning, which is completely understandable." She said in a matter of fact tone. I broke our eye contact and looked back down at my feet. I heard Sooyoung laugh sadly and couldn't help but glance back up at her. Her eyes were fixed on me and I felt as though she was looking straight into my head and reading my thoughts. "You know the saddest thing about all this Tiffany, about you giving up on us, is that you've let Siwon win. He set out to hurt you, to take away the happiness you could have found by being true to yourself, and he succeeded. It's really ing sad Tiff."

I had no words in me to respond to what she had said, she was right. Siwon had won and I had promised myself I would never let him beat me. Yet another broken promise in a sea of broken promises. Sooyoung smiled at me with so much understanding that it made my guilt intensify, "It's ok Tiff, I was hurt, hell I still am. I wish you could let me in, let me help you, instead of pushing me way in the guise of protecting me from you and your issues. I also wish that you would be honest with me and with yourself, this runs so much deeper than just you not being able to give me what you think I want and need. Tiffany I care about you and I'm not going anywhere. As a friend or whatever I'll be here."

With that said Sooyoung turned and walked into Jonghyun's. I clutched my bass tighter and followed her inside, thoughts swirling around in my head at a million miles per hour. I felt so damn confused. There was a tiny voice in my head telling me that Sooyoung was totally right, but it was a voice I had gotten a lot of practice ignoring so that's what I did, at least for a while.

Sooyoung's POV

I felt marginally better after my conversation with Tiffany outside of Jonghyun's house. I knew that every word I had said was true and more importantly that they needed to be said. I also knew that I would wait for her. I had a feeling that my faith in her and my faith in how I felt was going to pay off. I hoped it would anyway.

We worked so hard at Jonghyun's that I didn't get time to think much more about Tiffany and what was going on with us. The performance at Seoul Pub was now only a day away and Jonghyun was freaking out, even though we had all the songs down. He kept changing the order of songs and trying to fiddle with arrangements, which just got everyone frustrated with him what a control freak he was being.

Finally Yuri had enough, "Jonghyun if you don't stop ing around with the songs I am going to smash your guitar over your ing head! You understand?"

Jonghyun pouted like a little boy who had just been told off by his Mom and crossed his arms over his chest. "I'm sorry if I just want these performances to go well! Excuse me for giving a !" He said defensively.

"And you think we don't give a ?! Jesus Jonghyun, you know how important this is to us!" Minhyuk snapped, which shocked Jonghyun into silence. Minhyuk was known for his monosyllabic nature so to hear him say a full sentence was rare.

Jonghyun shook his head and ran a hand through his black hair, "I'm sorry guys, I guess I'm just stressed. I didn't tell you this earlier but I found out from the manager at the club we're playing Saturday night but there is going to be an agent there to see us."

We all stood looking stunned. Tiffany seemed to snap out of it first, "Why didn't you tell us Jonghyun? You should have told us about this as soon as you found out."

"I know I'm sorry, I just didn't want you guys to be nervous or anything. But you're right Tiff, I should have told you guys."

"Damn right you should have!" I snapped. Jonghyun hung his head in shame.

"Despite the fact that you're a douche bag, this is awesome news Jonghyun-ah!" Yuri said excitedly. I saw Tiffany roll her eyes and give Jonghyun a small smile before stepping forward and giving him a brief hug.

"She's right Jonghyun, this is awesome news," Tiffany said with a smile that didn't quite reach her eyes. I don't think anyone else noticed but me, but then again I don't think anyone is as aware of Tiffany as I am.

We talked about the agent for a bit longer, until we were satisfied that Jonghyun had finally told us everything. This was a big deal, it could be the start of something huge for us. Problem was that my mind was kind of preoccupied by a certain redhead.

As we were about to leave Jonghyun slung an arm around Tiffany's shoulder. I don't think he noticed her tense up or her face go pale, but I did. Jonghyun gave her a squeeze and said loudly, "So Tiff my gorgeous friend, I don't believe you have told us about your date with Sooyoung yet, c'mon babe, details now!"

Tiffany's eyes widened and sort out mine. I just looked at her, the ball was in her court now. I would back her up no matter what she said but I wasn't going to come up with a cover story for her. Seeing that I wasn't going to say anything Tiffany took a deep breath and slipped out from under Jonghyun's arm.

"Well the date was good, we had dinner then went for a drive. It was great., but um I think we decided that we'd be better off as friends," Tiffany said quietly, avoiding eye contact with everyone, all of whom were looking at her in disbelief while I just gazed at her, keeping my expression neutral.

Yuri opened and closed a few times before shaking her head, "Well that comes as a bit of a shock. I don't think I have ever seen so much between two people. I guess I'm pretty damn surprised."

Jonghyun was looking suspiciously at Tiffany, you could see the wheels turning in his head, he so wasn't buying her crap, not that I blame him she is a ty liar. Minhyuk was looking back and forth between Tiffany and I, as if trying to decipher a puzzle that just didn't make sense.

Tiffany had her eyes glued on her feet, "Um yeah well I guess these things happen, um I have to go. I've got to be at work early tomorrow. I'll see you guys for our final rehearsal tomorrow afternoon at Seoul Pub." Tiffany grabbed her bass and high tailed it before anyone had a chance to say anything to her.

Once the door closed behind her Jonghyun turned to me, "Sooyoung I don't, for one second, believe a word of that bull Tiffany just spun us, what the happened? You guys were on a few days ago and now she won't even look at you, or anyone else for that matter. What's going on?"

I sighed, I wasn't going to betray Tiffany, if she didn't want them to know then I was going to respect that. "Jonghyun-ah, it was just bad timing ok, maybe one day things will work out for us but it’s not the right time now. Hey look I'm pretty wiped so I'm gonna head home, gotta be all rested for the performance tomorrow night."

I gave each of them a hug and headed out. As soon as I stepped outside I saw Tiffany leaning against my car staring off into space. I had half expected her to be waiting for me. I wandered up to her, stopping about a foot away.

Tiffany turned her eyes onto me and sighed, "You know I keep thinking about what you said earlier and you're right I have let Siwon win. I let that son of a break me." Tiffany laughed humorlessly and kicked at a stone on the ground, "I let him turn me into what I swore I'd never be again, afraid. I promised you I was done being scared, that I wouldn't let my fear hold me back anymore. I'm sorry I couldn't keep that promise Sooyoung."

I sighed and moved to lean up against my car beside her, "Tiffany I know the world has royally ed you over and I know that people have hurt you, but sooner or later you have to stop letting them impact your life. If you go through life always afraid that people are going to screw you then you are going to be miserable. I got the rare opportunity to see the real you and she is incredible. The woman you are when the music's playing, when the songs are being written, the woman you are when you're with me, that's the real you. I hope you don't lose sight of her."

Tiffany ran her hand through her ponytail and stepped away from my car, "I just don't know what to do anymore Soo. I'm confused and scared and overwhelmed. I feel like I'm losing my mind, and I'm sure I'm making you lose yours, and not in a good way. I wish it wasn't like this." Her eyes were sparkling with tears and I couldn't help but start to get a little angry with her.

"You know what Tiffany, it doesn't have to be like this. You chose this," I said quietly.

"Chose this?! Are you ing kidding me? Do you think I chose to be almost by my ex-boyfriend less than a God damn week ago?" Tiffany snarled angrily.

"That's not what I meant and you damn well know it. What I meant was that you chose the way things are between you and I. It's like what Jonghyun has been saying all along, you're not ing scared I'll hurt you, Tiffany you are God damn terrified that things will actually work out between us and then you'd have to let go of the ing past. If you let me in you just might have to be the woman I know you can be, a happy and in love gay woman, and that terrifies you." I exclaimed, trying hard to keep my voice calm.

" you Sooyoung. When you have been through what I have then we can talk. It's not as simple as just moving on," She snapped at me, clenching her hands into tight fists.

"Tiffany who are you trying to convince? You told me you were just existing and you've become comfortable with it. it's all you know anymore. I have tried being understanding, I have tried being compassionate and patient. I have tried everything I know how to show you that you are more than this, but it's not ing getting through to you! You have been through hell and I get that, but it's time to move past it and start living. Stop merely existing and actually live!" I cried.

Tiffany glared at me with so much rage in her hazels and then slapped me hard across the face. I honestly think she was more shocked by her actions than I was. A look of horror spread across her face instantly as her hand flew up to cover . I knew Tiffany and I knew that after what Eunjung put her through the thought of being violent towards anyone made her sick, which would explain the horror she felt at actually hitting me. I raised my hand to cover what I'm sure was already a red mark and nodded at her with a humorless smile, "I guess I hit a nerve huh?"

Tiffany shook her head as the tears began to fall. She her heel and ran to her car like I was chasing her. I wasn't going to, not this time. This time Tiffany had to do some thinking and she couldn't do that with me around. I hated seeing her in so much pain, but I didn't know what else to do. I was all out of options.

I was about to get in my car when I heard a voice say, "You might want to put some ice on that, Tiffany's got a hell of an arm on her." I turned around to see Jonghyun with a bag of frozen peas in his hand. He chucked them to me and I tentatively pressed them to my cheek.

"So how much of that did you hear," I asked, my voice muffled by the peas.

"Enough. Siwon tried to her? What the happened Sooyoung and is Siwon dead yet?" Jonghyun snapped moving to my side.

"He came round to Tiffany's the other morning, which is why we were late for band practice, and tried to force himself on her. I arrived in time and got him to back off. Tiffany wasn't hurt or anything, but she was really shaken up. I tried to get her to go to the police but she refused. She backed off and then ended things with me, before they even really got started. What you just saw was me trying to slapping her into reality. I just hope I haven't royally ed up," I muttered.

"Siwon's a dead man, I'm going to kill him," Jonghyun said in a dead voice as he started to walk back towards his house.

I grabbed his arm and said, "No Jonghyun-ah, Tiffany will freak out if you do anything. She is standing on a ing knifes edge right now Jonghyun, she could fall either way. Just promise me you won't do anything to Siwon, or get anyone else to do anything. I mean it, oh and you can't say anything to anyone, Tiffany doesn't want people to know."

"Sooyoung this is . She can't go on like this. I thought that once you two finally got together that she would be ok, that she would be able to get back all that Eunjung and her mother stole from her, but now it's more ed up than ever," Jonghyun said with frustration.

"I know Jonghyun, trust me no one knows all this better than me. I love her, I do and it is killing me that she won't let me in, won't let me help her. She ended things between her and I, she thought that she couldn't be what I want or need, according to her I deserve more. I don't know how to make her see that she is all I could ever want or need." I paused and wiped at a tear on my cheek, "I didn't mean to fall in love with her Jonghyun, but it was one of those forces that couldn't be stopped. I don't know what to do now."

Jonghyun wrapped his arm around my shoulder, "Now I think it’s up to her. Sooyoung you can't give her all the answers, Tiffany has to figure out what it is that she wants and then she has to get the courage to go there. Just be true to yourself and to her, there is nothing else you can do."

I hugged him tightly, Jonghyun was truly an awesome guy. "Thanks Jonghyun-ah. Now if you don't mind I'm going to go home, get in a bath and try to relax a bit," I said with a tight smile.

"Ok Soo, and I have this feeling that she'll come around. You and Tiffany are destined, I can feel it. It's like an unstoppable force. I'm not a gambling man, but I'd bet on the two of you. Hang in there Sooyoung." Jonghyun dropped a kiss on my forehead before heading back inside. I jumped in my car and headed home, my bath tub was waiting and man did I have a lot of unwinding to do.

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Lyrics used in this chapter – Here is Gone by The Goo Goo Dolls

Gawd, I'm in love with Jonghyun's character in my own story x"D hbu guys?