Hello? I hope everyone survive the so called 'doomsday' today. I mean, who's gonna read my story then? lol :p anyway, here you go the 23rd chapter! Enjoy~ ;D

Tiffany's POV

I sat nervously in the plush olive green sofa in the waiting room of my soon to be counselors office. True to his word my father had called her and gotten me an appointment for first thing in the morning, he was just lucky that I had the day off work.

I absently flipped through an out of date fashion magazine, anything to take my mind off the fact that I was about to tell a total stranger all my deepest, darkest secrets. I had my doubts as to how much this counseling would benefit me, but I knew it would give my family and friends peace of mind.

I was so nervous that I actually felt sick. I was a firm believer in the benefit of counseling but I was dreading what bringing up the past was going to do to me. I was scared that talking about it would open a Pandora's Box that would spill poison and the impacts of the past all over my life which I was fighting to fix.

I was ripped from my thoughts when a thirty something year old woman wandered out and smiled at me, "You must be Tiffany, my name is Park Ji Young, but people call me Kahi. Would you like to come in?"

I nodded and swallowed around the ball of nerves in my throat. Climbing to my feet I followed her into her office. Kahi was tall and willowy with dark brown hair and big brown eyes. She had a pair of glasses on with dark brown frames and a warm smile that made her eyes twinkle.

I followed her into her office and took a seat on a comfortable over-stuffed sofa. I couldn't bring myself to lie down on it, that seemed a little too Freud or cheesy movie to me. As I sat down I glanced around the room. It was very tastefully decorated in soft blues and greens, giving the whole room a very relaxed quality.

Kahi took a seat across from me and smiled warmly, she was really trying to make me comfortable, sad thing was that it was not going to work. I was wound up tighter than Shirley Temple's ringlets and I doubted anything was going to change that, well anything other than me and Sooyoung in my music room.

"So Tiffany do you want to tell me why you're here?" Kahi asked in her soft, calm voice.

I shrugged, "I'm pretty sure my Dad would have told you that," I answered. I wasn't trying to be contrary, I just wasn't sure what to say to this woman.

"He did, but I'd rather hear it from you. Tiffany I get that this is strange, talking to someone you don't even know about stuff that is so deeply personal, but sometimes it is easier to share this with an objective third party. You never know I might even be able to help you work through some of this so that you can put what happened behind you and move on with your life," Kahi said as she pulled a note pad and pen onto her lap and adjusted her glasses.

"You saying you'll be able to help me forget, because I doubt that will ever happen," I said with a frown.

"No I am not saying that at all. Tiffany the things you have been through, the experiences you've had you will never forget. That's not why we're here. You are here so that we can find a way for you to embrace the past and move on," Kahi explained patiently.

I nodded, still frowning, "Ok I'll give it a shot, but I'm not promising anything."

"That's ok, we'll just take it slowly and see where this leads us. Do you mind if I take notes?" Kahi asked with a soft smile. I shrugged. "Ok thank you. So Tiffany how about you tell me why you think you're here," Kahi prodded.

"Um well I guess a lot of has happened over the last few years. To be honest I'm not sure where to start. It's all pretty overwhelming really," I muttered staring down at my hands.

"Tiffany just take your time, you can talk about anything you want to. I'm here to listen so just say whatever you feel and we'll go from there," Kahi said soothingly.

I took a deep breath and looked up to meet her eyes, "I guess I'm feeling scared. I'm scared that all the things that have happened are like a disease that has taken residence inside me. I feel like I am forever tainted by what Eunjung and then Siwon did to me. I feel damaged beyond repair. I want to be ok again but I have no idea how to be." I fell silent and tears filled my eyes and ran down my cheeks.

"Tiffany its ok, I think given what you've been through you are coping remarkably well. You show strength and resilience that is inspiring. You are not damaged beyond repair, I don't believe that for a second. You are just hurting and dealing with the emotional fallout of years of bottling all this up. I think this recent attack by Siwon was just the catalyst for it all to rise to the surface," Kahi said kindly.

"Yeah maybe. You know the worst part of all this is that things were starting to get better for me before this with Siwon happened. I was beginning a relationship with a woman I love. Yeah I know one date and I already love her, hell I think I fell in love with her the moment I met her," I said, a smile breaking through the tears as I thought of Sooyoung.

"I think this woman sounds pretty special, are you two together now?"

"Um no, not really. It's complicated." I said. Kahi raised her eyebrow so I explained, "Well after Siwon I pushed her away and ended things between us. It was the hardest and stupidest thing I have ever done. I needed her so badly, but I wanted to spare from all the drama. She had already been through so much with me and I just didn't want to put her through anymore."

"When you say she'd already gone through so much with you what did you mean?" Kahi asked.

"Well I mean that when we met I was dating Siwon. The attraction between Sooyoung and I was instant and mutual but I kept her at arms length. I know I flirted with her, it was almost unconscious I just couldn't help myself. Things between us became intense very quickly, but nothing actually happened between us until Siwon and I broke up. No matter how I felt about Siwon I would never cheat on him." I sighed again, I was doing a lot of that these days.

"How are things between you and Sooyoung now?" Kahi asked gently.

"Ok, I guess. We had some rocky moments for a while. I hurt her, I know I did. I never meant to. I would give up everything I have to stop her ever feeling any pain. I was so scared to let her in, part of me still is I guess. I'm just so scared," I murmured tearfully as I began to cry again.

Kahi leaned forward and passed me a box of tissues. I grabbed a handful and began mopping up the tears on my face. "Tiffany I need you to be specific with me, what are you scared of?" She asked with a sympathetic look on her face.

I took a moment to think about her question, what the hell was I scared of? I looked down at my hands, my fingers were dancing across my knees as though they were on the piano keys, damn nervous habit. I my suddenly dry lips and said, "What am I really scared of? I'm scared that she really is the one. That Choi Sooyoung is my one and only, my soulmate, my forever love. I am terrified that she is the person I am supposed to spend the rest of my life with. I am afraid that I will only ever bring her pain, because so far that's all I seem to do. But most of all I am scared that she might actually make me happy, that I will have to let myself be vulnerable to her and in doing so risk my heart again."

Kahi looked at me for a while as I struggled to compose myself. "You've been hurt a lot Tiffany, that much is obvious. It hasn't just been from the violent incidents in your life either. You were hurt by your mother's reaction to your homouality and the shame you felt that made you hide it. Tiffany you have been a victim of so much hurt so it is understandable why you pull back from a person you love enough to be really vulnerable to. I guess what you have to decide is whether Sooyoung is worth the risk."

"I know that she is, I'm just scared," I confessed quietly.

We talked for a bit longer. I gave her the details of what Siwon did to me, not leaving anything out. It was still so hard to talk about. Just thinking about it almost paralyzed me with fear so talking about it pretty much incapacitated me. Kahi was patient and understanding. She did not push she just let me talk. She told me it was like out the venom after a snake bite, that talking about it was a way to start purging the poison from my life.

At the end of the hour long session Kahi walked me out of the office and gave my shoulder a comforting squeeze, "You showed a lot of courage in coming here today Tiffany, you should be proud of yourself. I'll see you at the same time next week ok?"

I nodded and gave her a tired smile, I was emotionally drained. "Thank you, I'll see you later." I smiled again and walked out of her office. I was heading down the hall way when I saw my Dad leaning up against the wall waiting for me. I flashed him a small smile and then let him pull me into his arms.

My Dad led me into his office and I took a seat in a chair across from his desk, smiling at the huge number of photos he had of me, Yunho and Kris displayed on his desk. My Dad was a family man through and through.

"So how did it go with Kahi? You ok Sweetie?" Dad asked with a warm smile.

I nodded, "Yeah I'm ok Dad, pretty drained but ok. I'll be honest I was mostly going to see her to make everybody else happy, but after today I think it might actually help me to keep seeing her." I shrugged and smiled sweetly at him, "So thanks for organizing it for me."

"It was my pleasure Sweetie, I just want you to be alright," Dad said, taking a seat in the chair beside me.

"I know Dad, so do I. I'm going to keep seeing Kahi, I think it will help," I murmured.

"I'm proud of you Sweetheart, really so proud." I talked to my Dad for a bit longer and got roped into a family dinner the next night, of course he demanded that I invite Sooyoung. It was sweet how much they wanted us to be together. I wanted that too, I just needed some time.

I walked out of the counseling centre and headed to my car, feeling just a little bit lighter than I did when I walked in. I was going to give this counseling thing a real go, really what harm could it do? It's not like my life could get much more ed up.

Sooyoung's POV

I was relaxing on my leather sofa, just chilling while I got ready to watch D.E.B.S on DVD. That movie is seriously hilarious, plus Jordana Brewster is so hot….not nearly as hot as my Tiffany but still smoking!

I had been thinking about her all morning, which isn't exactly unusual because let's face it Tiffany usually monopolizes my thoughts. She had her first counseling appointment and I was pretty eager to hear how it went. I knew that going to see this counselor was going to be tough for her, but I also knew in my gut that it would help her.

I was zoning out thinking about Tiffany when someone buzzed my apartment. I wandered lazily over to the intercom and said, "Yeah?"

"Wow Soo you sound real enthusiastic there! Its Tiffany, do you wanna let me up?" I smiled when I heard her familiar husky voice through the intercom speaker.

"Hell yeah, come on up!" I hit the button to let her in and opened my front door. I quickly scanned the room to see if it was presentable. Tiffany had never been inside my place before so I wanted it to look good. I was just stuffing a bra I'd found hanging off my coffee table (from folding my washing not getting ed up in my living room you dirty minded people!) down behind one of my sofa cushions when Tiffany came in.

"Please don't tell me you are actually cleaning up for me Sooyoung, after everything I think you and I are long past actually putting on airs and graces for each other," Tiffany said with a giggle.

I shook my head and dropped the cushion I was holding, "Ok you're right, how are you Hazel?"

She smiled and walked over to drop gracefully onto my sofa, "I'm good, feeling like I need to just veg for a few hours though."

"Well you've come to the right place, I was just about to watch D.E.B.S and eat some junk food that I'll regret later, wanna join me?" I asked with a beaming smile.

Tiffany tilted her head and grinned at me, "I'd love to, but what's D.E.B.S?"

I looked at her in disbelief, "You seriously don't know what D.E.B.S is?" Tiffany shook her head, looking a little sheepish. "Well in that case be prepared to have your world rocked!" I cried dramatically as I joined her on the sofa and hit play.

Tiffany laughed and grabbed a handful of M&Ms out of the bowl on my coffee table, "You're talking this movie up a lot Choi, so you'd better hope it lives up to the hype."

I laughed and winked at her, "Oh it will Hwang, it will."

We watched the movie, both of us literally laughing out loud. I have to say that Tiffany Hwang has the greatest laugh ever. It's musical and sweet and just makes you have to laugh along with her.

I switched off the television as the movie finished and turned to Tiffany with an expectant look on my face, "So…what'd you think?"

Tiffany pretended to think about her answer, a little smirk on her lips, "Well…it was, hmm, you know it was ok."

"Oh you liar! It is so much better than ok!" I exclaimed in mock horror.

Tiffany laughed and held up her hands in defeat, "Ok, ok you're right. That movie was ing brilliant, just what I needed today. Oh and by the way I think I have a crush on Lucy Diamond." Tiffany announced with a teasing smile.

Oh hell no, she could not start crushing on other girls…not even fictional ones! "Excuse me? You want to repeat that?" I asked incredulously.

"I think you'll find that I just said I have a crush on Lucy Diamond. Why you got a problem with that Choi?" Tiffany said with a coy smile.

"I might have. I may be a little jealous of this Lucy Diamond, plus I think you need to aim higher than some criminal mastermind, like maybe an unemployed, trust-fund baby musician who is in this rad band that is about to make it big," I said in a flirtatious tone.

"Hmm sounds nice, you really think Minhyuk would go for me? Although like Scud said, love is harder than crime!" Tiffany said with a teasing smirk. Minhyuk, like me is a trust-fund baby living off his inheritance and playing music waiting for our band to make it big.

I laughed and shook my head at her, "Sadly Tiff I don't think so, you might have a chance with this hot brunette I know."

"Really, hot brunette like Lucy Diamond?" Damn she's good. I smirked at the grinning redhead.

"I was thinking more along the lines of, well, me but whatever floats your boat Hazel," I teased. I kind of loved that she was engaging in this flirtatious banter with me, it had been a while since we'd done that.

Tiffany smiled shyly at me from beneath her eye lashes before she changed the subject, "So my family is having this dinner at my Dad's house tomorrow night and I was wondering if you wanted to come. I honestly think my family is in love with you so it would mean a lot to them if you could make it."

I beamed, "Yeah of course I'll be there! I have been hearing about your Dad's cooking skills for so long now that I am dying to try it out." I couldn't help but feel excited, I knew it wasn't a date but hey dinner with the family was a huge step in the right direction.

"Great, I know Dad will impress even the finicky palate of Choi Sooyoung," Tiffany said with a teasing smile.

I laughed and then gave her a mock glare, "Hey I am so not finicky!" Tiffany giggled, which instantly made me smile, forgetting the mock glare I had been directing at her.

"Well good then, dinner is at 7 so how about you drive to my place at like 6.30 and we'll go to my Dad's together?" Tiffany asked.

I noticed how she referred to the house as her Dad's, not her parent's. I guess Moon Ye Seul was well and truly out of her life. "Yeah sounds good to me Hazel," I replied as I leaned back against the sofa.

We relaxed together on my sofa for another hour or so, just talking about movies and music. "No you are totally wrong Brown, Tipping the Velvet is so much better than Fingersmith! There is no comparison, how the hell can you think that Fingersmith is better, hello Tipping the Velvet involves a gold ?! You don't get better than that!" Tiffany exclaimed. I almost choked on my own spit when she said gold , seriously that is one phrase I never expected to hear come out of Tiffany's mouth.

"Seriously Tiff, gold ?! You kiss your Dad with that mouth?" I teased, making her giggle. "How about we agree to disagree about our historical lesbian miniseries?" I suggested with a smirk.

Tiffany chuckled and nodded, "Yeah might be a good idea," then she glanced down at her watch and jumped to her feet, ", , is that the time? We have band practice in like 15 minutes and my ing instruments are all the way back at my place! !" Tiffany cursed. I had to laugh, she did not often swear like that.

"It's ok Tiff, we'll run to your place, grab your stuff and then head to Jonghyun's, he won't care if we're a little late, c'mon let's go!" I said grabbing her hand and leading her out of the apartment, pausing just long enough for both of us to grab our bags and for me to scoop up my guitar.

We made it to Tiffany's in like ten minutes and we at Jonghyun's ten minutes after that, I'll admit Tiffany drove really, scarily fast. I did fear for my life, not gonna lie, but we did make it to Jonghyun's and a successful band rehearsal was had. Tiffany and I played a rough version of the song we'd started writing together and the band all added their input, it was sounding awesome. We decided to call it 'Perfect Way to Meet', well ok Tiffany came up with the name, she is after all the musical prodigy here.

A few times during rehearsal I saw her clench her teeth and blink like she was trying to hold back tears, she wouldn't let me get her alone to talk about it though. After rehearsal we got in her car so she could drive me home. "So are you going to admit what's wrong Hazel?" I asked softly.

She smiled, "I knew I couldn't hide from you. I'm just a little raw after talking about all the that's been happening. The counseling this morning was great, and I'm going to keep going, but it did leave me a little raw, emotionally speaking."

I reached over and gave her hand a squeeze, which she allowed for a little while before pulling away with a slight smile. I wasn't offended, baby steps were needed here. I was just so thrilled that she was actually opening up to me about her feelings.

"I think that's to be expected Hazel, but I am so proud of you for doing this counseling. You are an incredible woman Miss Hwang," I murmured.

"As are you Miss Choi," Tiffany smiled shyly at me and started her car. We drove the rest of the way to my place in comfortable silence, each lost in thought. Tiffany parked in front of my building as we got out of the car. I grabbed my guitar and bag and let her walk me up to the front door.

"So I guess this is good night, thanks for the ride to practice," I said with a grin.

"You're welcome Brown, thanks for helping me to chill today. I really needed a day like this so thanks so much," Tiffany murmured.

"No worried Tiff, I'll see you Tomorrow night?" I asked smiling at her adoringly.

"Yeah you will," Tiffany looked uncertain for a moment and the leaned in and softly placed a tender kiss on my cheek. I closed my eyes at the touch of her lips and shivered at the feeling of her breath on my skin.

Tiffany pulled back, biting her lip nervously and gave me a shy smile as a slight blush colored her cheeks, "Well, good night then." She bit her lip again and walked towards her car.

I raised my hand to my cheek, which was tingling with the sensation of her lips. "Good night Tiffany," I murmured as she got into the car.

With one last smile Tiffany drove off into the night. I grinned to myself and went inside. The grin was so not leaving my face that night.

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so? ;p

love ya~