Tiffany's POV

I wandered into my apartment after band practice and dropped my bass and bag on the sofa. I stood in the middle of the living room and just looked around. In a short time Sooyoung and I had built so many memories in this room. Some were happy, some sad, and all were overwhelming to me in that moment.

I swallowed around the golf ball sized lump in my throat and stumbled into the kitchen to pour myself a glass of wine. Once I had my glass in hand I wandered over to my answering machine, three messages. I hit play and listened to them, each one making me feel tier.

"Tiffany its Dad, haven't heard from you in a few days just checking in. Give me a call when you get a chance. Love you Sweetheart."

I hit delete and listened to the next message.

"Hey it's BoA, just wanted to say hey. We so need to catch up girl, I want to hear all about your date with Sooyoung! Anyway I know you're busy getting ready for the performances this weekend, me and Yunho are so coming to cheer you on, but give me a call when you get a minute. Love ya!"

I sighed sadly and hit delete again. I wasn't looking forward to telling BoA and the family that Sooyoung and I were not together. They had really taken a liking to her. I think they saw her as the person who could help make me whole again after everything that had happened. God I wish that were true.

I tried to hold back yet more tears as the third message started playing.

"Tiffany its Jonghyun. Look I know something is going on with you and I understand if you don't want to talk to me about it. I just want you to know that I am always here for you. I love you Tiff, and if you need anything at all I want you to know that I am here. Call me if you want and I'll see you tomorrow for the gig. Night Tiff."

Damn Jonghyun, I couldn't stop the tears now if I'd wanted too. I slid down the wall and buried my face in my hands, my wine glass placed on the floor beside me. After the last week you'd think I had no more tears left, but they just keep coming. I think I must have been getting seriously dehydrated from all the crying.

I have no idea how long I sat on the floor, time kinda lost all meaning as I sat there just thinking about everything that had happened between Sooyoung and I. For about an hour I didn't once think of Siwon and what he had done.

Once my was starting to hurt from sitting on my wooden floor, I climbed to my feet and wandered down the hall to my bedroom. It was the first time ever that I did not put my bass back in its place in my music room. That alone should tell you how much all this was getting to me.

Once I had changed into some boxers and a tank top to sleep in a sketch on my wall caught me eye. It was the sketch BoA had done of me, the one Sooyoung had admired when she'd come to my apartment for the first time. So much had happened and changed since then but I could still picture the look on her face as she stared up at that drawing. That look had made my heart rate quicken and my palms sweat. That look had made me feel beautiful for the first time since I'd been with Jessica.

Smiling sadly up at the sketch, I switched off the light and climbed into bed. Posing for that sketch had been one of the boldest experiences of my life and I was so damn proud of that moment, I wished I could be that girl full time. I lay still in the darkness as my thoughts raced over the events of the last few weeks, since the moment I had met Sooyoung. The second I saw her I felt something, this instant and intense connection that went beyond anything I had ever felt. It was like fate.

It had been an intense rollercoaster of emotions since I met Sooyoung, every moment of my time with her was burnt into my memory. Most clearly I was remembering that I had done the unforgivable. I had hit her. The second my hand had connected with her cheek I felt physically ill. I would give anything to take back that moment.

After what I went through with Eunjung I always swore to myself that I would never use violence against someone I loved. I felt disgusted with myself for lashing out like that. Sooyoung did not deserve that, no one did. The fact that I was capable of striking out at her just made me ever more certain that I was not right for her. I hated myself for what I had done.

I couldn't deny it though, her words hit a nerve. She was completely right and it scared me to have the truth into my face like that. Of course that does not justify me hitting her.

With thoughts of self-hated and disgust running through my head I finally drifted off to sleep.

Sooyoung's POV

I woke up to the sound of my alarm blaring beside me. It was a big day, gig day. I hadn't gotten a lot of sleep the night before, I couldn't stop thinking about Tiffany and the conversation we'd had in front of Jonghyun's. I was kind of regretting not going after her. I knew she had to be beating herself up over hitting me, even though I pushed her to it.

I was trying to get a reaction from her, can't blame her for reacting. I know it's not in her to be violent, I know that's not who she is. She is not like that Eunjung. I was kind of wishing I had told her that to save her from berating herself for it. At the same time though I honestly believe that she needs some time to think, like Jonghyun said. She needs to figure out what it is she wants and then find the courage to go for it.

Whatever she ultimately figures out I'll be here. I'm not going anywhere, even though logic is telling me to bail. The minimal logical elements of my brain is telling me to run, to save myself from more drama and heartache with this girl, but the rest of me knows that even if I wanted to leave, I'd take her with me in my heart.

Tiffany is part of me now and even if I fled to the other side of the world she would still be with me. She's in my heart, in my soul, in the blood that courses around my body. Tiffany Hwang is a part of me and I know that there is nothing I can do to change that, not that I'd want to.

I sighed and dragged myself out of bed. I had a bit to do today. I'd offered to help Minhyuk move the instruments to Seoul Pub and then I had to go and see my little sister, Sulli, and her fiancé Nichkhun (lol, sorry, I don’t ship KhunToria xP) who also happened to be my good friend. They were coming to the gig tonight but had only just got back into town after three months travelling around Europe so I was eager to see them.

I got dressed and headed over to Jonghyun's to meet Minhyuk. We kinda had to break in because Jonghyun forgot to leave us a key. Minhyuk was very careful about it though, he just jimmied the lock, I need to remember to ask him where he learnt to do that. Once inside we packed up the drum kit, key board, amps, two of Jonghyun's guitars and his cello. Tiffany and I always took our instruments home with us so would bring them to Seoul Pub ourselves.

We loaded the instruments into Minhyuk's van in a comfortable silence. Minhyuk was definitely the silent type and rarely said anything unless it was absolutely necessary. I kind of liked that about him. We were just closing the doors on the now full van when Minhyuk turned to me and said softly, "Tiffany's not ok is she?"

I snapped my head up to look at him, "Um no, she's not. A lot has happened to her Minhyuk and she's really struggling with it."

He nodded, "Is that why you two aren't together?" He asked leaning against the van.

"Yeah, kind of. It's complicated," I said leaning next to him.

"Isn't it always? You know Sooyoung things that are right are rarely easy. Just because its hard now doesn't mean that you two being together isn't right," Minhyuk said in his soft voice. I let his words wash over me, he was right. That's the thing with Minhyuk, he rarely talks but when he does it's always something you should listen to.

"Thanks Minhyuk," I murmured. He just smiled and nodded, giving my shoulder a quick squeeze before he got in his van. I climbed into my Porsche and followed him to Seoul Pub where we unloaded the instruments and set up in companionable silence. I couldn't help but glance at the door that leads to the stairs that would take me to Tiffany's apartment. I knew she was at work, but I still had to fight the urge to run up those stairs just to feel closer to her.

Once the instruments, sans Tiffany's bass, violin and my guitar were set up I said goodbye to Minhyuk and headed over to Sulli and Nichkhun's. Sulli had lived with me until Nichkhun had proposed to her about six months earlier. They really were the most disgustingly cute couple ever.

I jumped in the lift after Sulli buzzed me up and headed to their fifth floor apartment. I had really missed my sister and had so needed her during all the drama that had been happening with Tiffany, talking about it on the phone just wasn't the same.

I had just gotten to her front door and was about to knock when Sulli came bolting out the door in a tiny bundle of brunette energy. My sister could be a tad hyperactive. Sulli jumped into my arms and held me tightly, "Unnie! God I missed you!"

"I missed you too Ssul, now how about we take this out of the hall?" I said teasingly. Sulli detangled herself from me and led the way inside where I was scooped up in a hug by a six foot three bag of muscles known as my soon to be brother in law, Nichkhun.

"Hey Nichkhun," I mumbled against his chest as the brunette boy hugged me within an inch of my life.

"God Soo you look like ! What's been going on?" Nichkhun asked, earning him a punch from both Sulli and me. That boy really had no tact at all.

"Nichkhun you're such a , Unnie told us on the phone about all the with this Tiffany girl! Of course she looks like after all that!" Sulli exclaimed. Yeah thanks for the help sis.

"Thanks Ssul, really thanks," I muttered dryly.

"Oh sorry Unnie! I didn't mean it like that. So what's the latest with the love of your life?" Sulli asked leading me over to the sofa.

I sighed and quickly filled them in on the latest. Nichkhun very kindly offered to go kill Siwon, his older sister had been the victim of ual assault when we were in high school and now he sees her attacker in every man that would do that to a woman. I declined his offer, regretfully. After about an hour of talking, some anger, frustration and a lot of tears I had updated them on where things stood between Tiffany and I. It was one ing depressing story.

Saying it all out loud just made me think about how hard this must be for Tiffany. She must be so scared and confused. She was finally getting to move on after all the with Eunjung, her Mom and Siwon and then it all came crashing down on her again. It really wasn't fair, she deserved only wonderful things in her life.

" that is all so messed up!" Nichkhun so eloquently said. I had to agree with him.

"Yeah it's all pretty screwed up. All I know is that I can't give up on her. She needs me, even if she doesn't know it. I'll never walk away from her," I murmured.

Sulli was watching me with the strangest expression on her face, "I never thought I'd ever see you like this Unnie. I'm proud of you for standing by her, for not giving up on her. Tiffany is very lucky to have you and I bet deep down she knows it. I believe that in the end it will all be worth it." Sulli gave my hand a squeeze.

"Thanks Ssul. I hope you're right," I murmured with a soft smile.

"You know I am. Now get your up off our sofa and get home to get ready for this gig you got happening tonight, don't you have a rehearsal this afternoon at the bar?" Sulli said as she dragged me to my feet.

"Yeah I guess I do. Thanks you guys and I'll see you tonight?"

"You sure will now go, don't want you to be late!" Sulli ordered. I laughed and waved as I headed out of their apartment. My sister could always make me smile.

Tiffany's POV

I got home from work about half an hour later than I'd planned. I'd gotten caught up with s student who was having major issues with his thesis violin piece and ended up having to talk him off the proverbial ledge. After a few tears and me having to stop him trying to put his sheet music through the shredder in my office, we got his piece sorted and I sent him on his way much happier than when he'd walked in.

I jogged up the stairs to my place to find Jonghyun waiting for me on my door step. "Hey my favorite redhead, how's it going?" He asked stepping forward to pull me into a hug, which I reluctantly allowed. I was getting a little better at letting people touch me, but it was still a little hard.

"I'm ok Jonghyun, just had a minor crisis at work so I'm running a bit late. Other than that I'm ok," I answered, unlocking my door and leading the way inside.

"Tiffany I was going to pretend that I don't know. I was going to hint around until you told me yourself but I don't want to lie to you. I know what Siwon did to you, I know what really happened between you and Sooyoung. Honey you had to know I wasn't buying the you were trying to spin us yesterday," Jonghyun said as he perched on my sofa watching me with the saddest of expressions.

I froze for a moment and then shut the door softly. I leaned against the cool wood and looked over at Jonghyun, "Did Sooyoung tell you?" I asked in a weary voice.

"No she didn't. I overheard you guys talking at her car last night and then confronted her about it. Sooyoung asked me not to say anything to you Tiff, but I could not. I sat up all last night just thinking about it. I was going to do what Sooyoung asked and not say anything, but I just couldn't. I love you Hwang and I knew something wasn't right. Are you ok?" Jonghyun asked sadly.

I swallowed and pushed myself off the door to sit beside him on the sofa, "Truthfully Jonghyun, I'm really not ok. I was finally going to get my happy ending you know. I was going to be with Sooyoung a woman who loves me and who would never intentionally hurt me and then it was all ripped away."

"It doesn't have to be like that Tiff. Just because Siwon is a monster and did a horrible, unforgivable thing, it doesn't mean that you have to give up on your happy ending. Sooyoung is crazy about you and you have to know that no matter how hard you push her away, she isn't going anywhere. I guess the question is how hard and how far are you going to push her?" Jonghyun gave my hand a gently squeeze and got to his feet.

"Tiffany if you broke up with her because you think she deserves more, then you're wrong. You are one of the most wonderful people I know and anyone would be blessed to be with you. Sooyoung loves you Tiff and she needs you. Let her in, for both your sakes. I'll see you down in the bar in 45 for a quick rehearsal," Jonghyun said softly. With a gentle smile he turned and walked out.

I stared at the door he'd just passed through and ran his words over in my head. Yet more words to muddle my already confused brain. Although I'll admit Jonghyun's words struck a cord with me. I staggered to my feet and headed to my bedroom to get ready, as they say the show must go on.

Exactly forty minutes later I was dresses and ready for rehearsal. I grabbed my violin and bass and headed down stairs to join the band. Everything was already set up, I believe Minhyuk and Sooyoung brought everything over earlier and got it sorted. As I walked in all eyes turned to me. Jonghyun gave me a gentle smile that told me he was there for me, Yuri and Minhyuk just grinned in greeting and Sooyoung smiled tenderly.

I walked over and handed my violin to Jonghyun and my bass to Minhyuk so they could be plugged into the amps in preparation for the performance. While they were occupied with that I walked up next to Sooyoung and murmured, "I am so sorry about last night. I feel sick when I think about hitting you. If I could take it back I would in a heartbeat."

"I wouldn't want you to take it back Tiff. I wanted you to react and you did. I wanted to see some fight in you and I did. I know you feel bad Tiffany, but you are not Eunjung and I know that you didn't mean to hurt me. It's really ok," Sooyoung said softly. She reached over and gave my hand a gentle squeeze as I stared at the floor, still pretty damn ashamed of myself.

I didn't get time to dwell on my thoughts because Jonghyun quickly got our practice underway. We did a run through of the set we would be playing that night and then had to high tail it outta there so Kris could open the bar. I led the band upstairs to my apartment so we could relax and get ready for the performance. Neither Yuri or Minhyuk had seen the place so I gave them a quick tour, I think they both drooled a little when I showed them the music room. It wasn't surprising, it tended to have that effect of fellow musicians.

Once we were all back in the living room I grabbed five beers from my fridge and handed them out, "Ok guys so like two hours till show time so just make yourselves at home," I said taking a sip of my beer. The band members were lazing around on my sofas, just relaxing.

I stood awkwardly and then when I thought I could get away with it I escaped down the hall to my bedroom. I wandered to my closet and began to look for something to wear to perform in that night, it gave me something to focus my mind on for a little while. I was digging through my various pairs of jeans when I heard the sound of footsteps behind me. I turned around to find Sooyoung leaning against the door frame staring at the spot where she had found Siwon trying to force himself on me.

"I never thanked you for stopping him, for getting him off me," I murmured softly.

Sooyoung turned to face me with a sad smile, "You don't need to thank me Hazel, I'm just glad I got here in time. I wish I'd gotten here earlier, it might have spared both of us some heartache."

I looked down at the ground before taking a hesitant step towards her, "I'm sorry Sooyoung," I said so softly that I'm surprised she actually heard it.

"You have nothing to be sorry for Tiff, nothing at all," she said with a kind smile, "So what are you doing in here?"

"Trying to pick something to wear tonight when we perform," I said quietly as I turned back to my clothes.

Sooyoung chuckled a bit, "Tiffany anything will look awesome on you so don't stress ok?"

I looked up and gave her a tiny smile, an actual genuine smile for the first time since before Siwon and what happened, "You really aren't going to give up on me are you?"

Sooyoung threw back her head and laughed, "Nope. Hazel, you're stuck with me," her expression suddenly became serious, "Look Tiffany I get it ok, I get why you've pushed me away. I understand, I do, but I'm going to just leave you because you're trying to be selfless to spare me. I love you and have since the moment I met you. If it takes forever then so be it, I'm not going anywhere. If you need me, for anything then I'm here."

I nodded and blinked back tears, "Thank you," I whispered, "Jonghyun came to see me before rehearsal. I know that he knows about what happened with Siwon and what really happened with us. I'm sorry I put you in a position where you had to hide the truth from people, from our friends. That wasn't fair of me."

"Tiffany you were, and are, going through something I can't imagine so I can't judge you for how you've reacted. I get why you didn't want people to know and its ok. I hope that one day you can tell them and maybe the police," She said quietly. I nodded and looked down at my hands which were fidgeting. I think she could sense how overwhelmed I was because she smiled kindly and left me alone in my room, casting another quick glance back at the spot where Siwon had attacked me.

I sighed and wiped away my tears before heading into my bathroom to wash away the evidence of my tears.

Sooyoung's POV

I don't know what I was expecting when I followed Tiffany down the hall and into her bedroom, but it certainly hadn't been her thanking me for getting Siwon of her. It had been a short conversation, a few minutes at most, but I really felt that it was a turning point for us. I guess we'd have to wait and see how it played out.

I joined the others in the living room, all lounging around on Tiffany's sofas. "She’s alright?" Jonghyun asked quietly as I sat down. I gave him a smile and nodded. A few minutes later Tiffany came back out to join us, a small smile on her lips. I hadn't seen her smile like that since before that with her ex-boyfriend, it was beautiful.

"So you guys want some food? I can get the chef down stairs to send up some of his famous pizzas?" Tiffany asked.

"Oh hell yes, those pizzas are better than !" Jonghyun claimed loudly, making us all laugh. "Well ok maybe not better than but pretty much on par!" Jonghyun corrected to more laughter, which I noted Tiffany actually joined in on for a moment.

"Ok I'll get some sent up," Tiffany rose to her feet and put in a quick call to Kris downstairs who happily obliged and within fifteen minutes three huge pizzas were sitting on Tiffany's coffee table while we all gorges ourselves on hot deliciousness.

Once the pizza was completely devoured (Minhyuk may not say much but man can that guy eat!) we started getting ready for the performance. Jonghyun and Minhyuk just changed their shirts, Jonghyun into a black one and Minhyuk into a khaki green one. Yuri disappeared into the guest bathroom and changed into black skinny jeans and a bronze tank-top that brought out the copper tones in her recently dyed hair.

I ducked into the music room to change and then kicked Yuri out of the bathroom so I could put on my makeup and do my hair. I'd decided on dark grey shorts with a black waistcoat over a blood red bra (fyeah, go picture it yourself xD). I was just walking out of the bathroom when Tiffany stepped out of her bedroom. I froze, my God she looked incredible.

Tiffany was wearing black shorts that hugged her body and made her legs look like they went on forever. Black high-top Converses adorned her feet, with the tops rolled down. She was wearing a dark grey v-neck t-shirt with the sleeves rolled up to show off her well-defined arm muscles. On each wrist she wore dark brown leather cuffs and a long gold chain with a coin on the end hung around her neck. Her long red hair was swept up in a ponytail, leaving the tattoo on the back of her neck visible. The tattoo on her hip kept peeking out from underneath her t-shirt each time she moved. (there. there, no drooling, please..)

"Wow," I breathed out and then blushed embarrassedly as Tiffany blushed shyly, looked down at the ground and walked towards me.

As she reached me, Tiffany raised her eyes to meet mine and said softly, "You really look amazing Sooyoung."

"Thanks, so do you Hazel," I murmured, both of us still a little red in the face. I would have said more but then Jonghyun came in and excitedly dragged us out of the apartment.

It was truly show time.

Time for the gig…