Seunghyun got off the train into the cold darkness that came after an early spring rain. He walked barely noticing the signs and neighborhood. He felt so numb. That was it? That was the end? Jiyong just writing him a note and sending him away? He rubbed at his running nose. His feet were sore and cold but he barely noticed. The cold in his chest was more overwhelming.

He pulled out the note from his pocket and read it over again. He wanted to listen to the song but didn’t know if he could take it. It wasn’t going to do him any good. He looked up at the signs around him. He seemed to have made a loop and was only a couple blocks from YG building. He kicked a rock as hard as he could before he kept shuffling ahead the way he had been since he got off the subway a few hours before.

When he approached YG building, fate seemed to be in his hands. The 1TYM hyungs were just leaving the building, complaining about their sore muscles. Teddy was just about to get into the van when he looked up and his face dropped at Seunghyun’s appearance. He muttered an apology to the guys and shut the door before approaching Seunghyun.

“Hey. Are you alright?” He asked with his hands stuffed in his pockets.

Seunghyun slowly shook his head, looking at the pavement.

“Aish. What are you doing wondering around the city alone? You’re only a kid! Look, I’m not an expert with taking care of the broken hearted but I’ve been taken care of when I’ve been there so let’s see what I can do.” Teddy said to Seunghyun, putting an arm around his shoulders, guiding him down the street.

“I know you are young but someone needs you the basics of being a Korean man. First thing, you need to drink.” Teddy said while ordering a bottle of Soju.

They were back at the same restaurant from that night. Seunghyun didn’t know if Teddy picked this place on purpose or not but it did make him want to drink. As soon as the bottle appeared and the owner’s back was turned he took the bottle in his hands and poured himself several shots of the strong liquid.

“Woah! Slow down. You need to be sober when I tell you the rest of the things you need to know.” Teddy said as he took the bottle and poured himself a shot.

Seunghyun pouted and scowled a little but nodded.

“Okay. Next thing, from now on you need to act like nothing’s wrong. You have to pretend that you are just fine otherwise you lose. One more bottle of soju over here, ajussi!” Teddy said with his finger up, speaking with a fake light slur. He winked at Seunghyun.

“But, I’m not alright. He just picked up and left without saying anything.” Seunghyun said bitterly.

“Yes, but as a man you can’t let others be brought down from your sadness. You need to act strong and tough.” Teddy counteracted.

Seunghyun took another couple of shots when the next bottle came. The world was feeling funny. He felt like every part of him was out on display. He felt really light and warm. It was kind of nice. He nodded at Teddy. It made sense. He had to be tough. He hardened his face and made his most intimidating glare.

“Oh ! Now that is what I’m talking about!” Teddy exclaimed, patting him on the shoulder.

“That’s good?” Seunghyun asked, obviously pleased with himself.

Teddy scrunched up his face. “You sound like my little nephew. Well, we can’t do anything about that but try saying something with some power and force.” He asked.

Seunghyun cleared his throat. He started rapping the rap that he and Jiyong had written and worked on a few days previous. He knew it well enough but it still made his heart hurt. He put those feelings into his drive.

Teddy’s eyes bulged. He looked shocked at something but tried to cover it up by starting to bob his head along with the beat until Seunghyun stopped. When he did, he looked up.

“ing amazing. Now let me see that with the expression you had before.” He requested.

Seunghyun did it over again. He felt silly. It was like he was wearing a thick clay mask. He took another shot of soju when he was done. The alcohol made him feel a little better.

Teddy helped tweak his rapping, image, and hand motions. Seunghyun lost count of how many shots he had and how many times he rapped. Soon the world felt like it wasn’t even real. Teddy looked as Seunghyun with shock and rushed to pay the bill before ushering Seunghyun into the cold. His stomach didn’t feel good. Soon, without warning he threw up in the gutter. He looked up at the sky. The few stars that were there swirled around, He got up, feeling an arm pulling him forward and tears streaming down his face. A voice came out of the space around him. He ignored it, instead getting up and stumbling to a pay phone. He pulled out a few coins and put them in before fumbling to put in the numbers. He had to do this.

“Yobesayo?”

It was his voice. Seunghyun felt like he was on a cloud.

“Jiyong-ah? Why did you do that? Don’t you love me?” Seunghyun slurred.

“Are you drunk?” He asked after a long silent moment.

“Quit avoiding the question, Jiyong!” Seunghyun urged.

“My parents could be hearing this.” Jiyong hissed.

“Yah! Are you ashamed of me?!” Seunghyun yelled.

Then without warning a hand reached from behind and yanked the phone from Seunghyun’s hand to hang it up.

“Yah! What is your problem? That was a veeeeery important phone call.” Seunghyun shot at the perpetrator.

“What’s your phone number? You’re coming to stay at our place tonight. Your family can’t see you like this.” Teddy said to the drunk.

Seunghyun drew out the numbers as long as he could. They were more fun to say that way. Toul was his favorite. He kept saying it over and over and giggling to himself while Teddy talked on a pay phone, looking over worriedly at Seunghyun who decided to sit down in the middle of the sidewalk. People looked down at Seunghyun and up at Teddy with a disgusted look on their faces.

Seunghyun felt himself being lifted from the ground with a groan. The lifter kept talking and grumbling about how he had to lie and say he was one of Seunghyun’s friends to get his omma to allow him to come stay with him. Seunghyun barely heard anything. He soon felt the icy chill from sheets of rain falling down on him and his carrier who started a giant string of curses. Seunghyun giggled.

“Yo! Teddy! Why doesn’t Jiyong love me?” Seunghyun slurred.

“He does love you, Seunghyun.” Teddy groaned.

“Gojimal! If he loved me, he wouldn’t leave me. I would never, ever, ever, ever leave him.” Seunghyun slurred on with heavy hand gestures that moved his whole body, once hitting Teddy in the face.

“He’s young, you just have to wait for him. He’ll come around.” Teddy said trying to console the younger as he dropped his heavy frame on the bench of the bus stop.

“I hope so because I already miss him so so much.” Seunghyun said sleepily, leaning his head against the metal structure around the bench.

After they got on the bus, Teddy kept Seunghyun awake with random hard pokes between his ribs. Each time Seunghyun woke up he would jolt awake saying, “Jiyong-ah, is this our stop?” or “Jiyong, forgive me!”

When they finally arrived at the 1TYM dorm the sun was rising, making their eyes burn from the brightness. Teddy hauled the nearly asleep Seunghyun up to the second floor hostel. He put in the code and opened the door. He flopped Seunghyun on the sofa. Seunghyun groaned.

“That hurt.” He moaned.

“You should sleep, Seunghyun. You’ll need to be up in a few hours.” Teddy said before he gulped down the glass of water he poured.

“What’s the point? He’s just so amazing. I’m nothing without him.” Seunghyun moaned into the cushion.

Teddy sighed. Seunghyun heard him pushing buttons on a phone and he swore he heard him speaking in a hushed tone.

“Hello, is this the Kwon residence.”

“Yes, may I speak to Jiyong, please?”

Seunghyun strained to try to lift up his now lead filled body. He had to talk to Jiyong. He had to tell him he was sorry, for whatever it was, he was sorry. His body just wouldn’t listen though so he laid there silently crying, listening to Teddy.

“Jiyong? Yes, I know it’s early. Yes, I understand but this is Teddy. I got your number from YG. Um…we need to talk later. We’re going to be working together a bit and I need to clear a few things up and let you in on what happened last night.” Teddy said cautiously.

“Alright. I’ll meet you there around 4:30. I’m going to have another trainee meet us there around 5 if that is okay.” Teddy said.

“Okay. I’ll see you then.” Teddy said before clicking off the phone.

“Why did you have to do that now?” Seunghyun sobbed to Teddy.

“You need to understand something. I know it’s hard but Jiyong is going to change. He’s a trainee now. He’s going to be who people want him to be. It’s going to be hard for him to still be the Jiyong you know. You are going to need to be your best to impress him. You can’t just sit around crying and expect him to come running to you. I’m going to try to teach him to be the best so you have to try to stay on his level. Do you understand?” Teddy said with the softest tone he could manage.

Seunghyun felt like an arrow was plunged into his heart. Jiyong was going to change? He wouldn’t be the same? Seunghyun shook his head, no way. That was a bunch of crap if he ever heard it. Jiyong wouldn’t change for people. He was so set in his personality. He couldn’t imagine him any other way.

“Seunghyun, he already has a persona put out for him and he picked a stage name when he was on the People’s Choice album: G-Dragon.” Teddy explained.

G-Dragon? Seunghyun smiled. That was clever, just like his Jiyong. It sounded a little fierce compared to the Jiyong he knew though.

Seunghyun shut his eyes and heard Teddy get up with a massive sigh.

“I like you, Seunghyun. I just don’t want you to get hurt by the world later.” Teddy said softly before Seunghyun heard his footsteps fade away.

Seunghyun fell into uneasy slumber. He dreamt that Jiyong was being chased by giant dragons telling him to rap or be roasted. His terrified face was so close to Seunghyun’s. He was crying, trying to utter out words pleasing to the giant beasts. Right as he saw flames and heard Jiyong pleading for mercy, he jerked awake, gasping for air.