Seunghyun felt like sludge. He didn’t know if he could make it through the day. He couldn’t go to the nurse though because he couldn’t go home yet. Jiyong probably wouldn’t want him to go to work with him tonight. He didn’t blame him. He just kept making things uncomfortable. What would he do if he went to Jiyong’s house alone though? His parents were kind but it didn’t mean he wouldn’t feel intrusive without Jiyong there.

Seunghyun sighed softly as he looked at the clock. It was almost that time again. Jiyong would walk inside and sit at his desk taking notes and trying to ignore him but not succeeding. It was cute in its own way. He smiled thinking about it. That in itself gave him the motivation to finish his assignment before the teacher’s bell rang.

Seunghyun sat in his chair, feeling a smile pull at his lips waiting for Jiyong to walk in the door. The door slid open and the teacher walked in. Seunghyun waited as patiently as he could, his stomach in knots. The break came and went and Jiyong’s desk sat vacant of its owner.

Seunghyun felt sick. Did something happen to Jiyong? Did he request to be removed from the high level math? Maybe he went home sick because he didn’t want to see him. Seunghyun felt his mind swarm with ideas until it started throbbing. He promptly raised his hand. The teacher paused and looked at him, obviously in shock.

“Yes, Choi Seunghyun?” He asked.

“May I go to the nurse’s office for some pain relievers. I have a large headache.” Seunghyun asked.

His math teacher sighed. “Yes, you may, but make it a prompt trip.” He answered.

Seunghyun eased up from his desk, collected his hall pass, and walked out the door to proceed to the school offices where the nurse was. He put his hands in his pockets and glanced at the 7^th grade classrooms. Maybe he could go look inside the window of his class to see if he was there. No. He didn’t have that much courage. He could be caught by the teacher.

When Seunghyun walked into the nurse’s office he was greeted by a woman who was a little heavyset, but still rather young. She smiled at him and he bowed slightly.

“Hello. What’s bothering you today?” She asked.

“I have a really bad headache.” Seunghyun said quietly, giving her the pass.

“Hmm. What kind of headache? Can you describe it for me?” She asked while creasing her lips.

She obviously thought Seunghyun was just trying to get out of class or maybe get something strong to get high. His high school friends often said that they did this to get through the day. Seunghyun kept his mouth closed about it but it didn’t mean he would do it.

“My head is throbbing here and I feel like something is pressing against my forehead.” Seunghyun said, pointing to the sides of his head.

“Hmm. Any reason why you think you’d have this headache?” She asked, reaching into a cabinet.

“Well, I’ve been really stressed lately and not sleeping well.” Seunghyun said, staring at the floor while rubbing his shoe against it.

“Well, these should help for now. Try to take better care of yourself, Seunghyun.” She said, giving him the pills and a small cup of water.

Seunghyun took the pills and waited for her to give him his new hall pass. He smiled and bowed in thanks to the nurse before leaving the office. He started to walk slowly, not wanting to return to class. He looked at the tiles, as he walked, deciding on making a game with them.

Making his way up the stairs, he stepped only on the tan shades on the tiles and jumping to skidmarks was considered a bonus. He was having so much fun that he was surprised and disappointed when he arrived at his classroom’s door. For a few minutes he had forgotten about his problems. It felt nice.

Seunghyun’s day felt like torture. His lunch tasted really neutral, like all of his taste buds had evaporated, not that he ate much of it. He hadn’t dreamed that Jiyong was there this morning. He was more sure than anything that he was there. Why didn’t he look in his classroom when he could have?

He could feel the sticky feeling where his forehead hit part of his notebook and the desk beneath it. Each tick of the clock echoing in his mind, as if in slow motion. He was anxious during the first part of the day but as the day dragged on, his mind became the consistency of pudding. He sat this way until the final bell rang when he slowly lifted his head from his desk to see the clock and scramble to pack his things to meet Jiyong in the hallway.

Seunghyun flew down the hall as fast as a chubby kid of his age could. When he got to Jiyong’s classroom he looked at each face that left, feeling panic. He looked in the room to see that it was empty. He ran from the room feeling a stitch in his side that started to grow as he ran to the bus stop. He limped to it to find a group of students around it but lacking the one he was looking for.

He had no other choice but to sit and wait for the bus to arrive. He hadn’t decided yet where he would go, YG or Jiyong’s house. Either was a strong possibility. He tried to take deeper breaths to supply his brain with the needed oxygen, and think of where Jiyong might be. It was a really tough call. He would need to go to work but that would be the place Seunghyun would most likely find him. Would he show up or would he go home to have send Seunghyun on a wild goose chase? This was if Jiyong was avoiding him at all. What if something had happened to him? Where is he?

Seunghyun’s mind swarmed and he felt sick. He decided to take a different approach. He decided to put himself in Jiyong’s shoes for the day. He hadn’t slept much the night before, he ate a lot for breakfast, and he wasn’t at school. Why? What would be the reason to not show up? Illness wouldn’t be it, he had shown up sick for school before. Family crisis wasn’t it, everything seemed fine at breakfast.

He rubbed his face from top to bottom in stressed frustration. It was only Tuesday and already he felt ready to burst. Wait. It was Tuesday, the day before the big 1TYM show at the YG building. Of course Jiyong would ditch school to work on that. He needed it to be perfect, he needed that promotion. That’s also why he wasn’t nervous about the homework he hadn’t done. That sneaky bastard. He ditched school and didn’t take him with him. Although, Seunghyun could hardly blame him. Things were really awkward this morning.

Seunghyun’s thoughts kept progressing as he took the now familiar trip, although this time alone, to the YG building. The more he thought about what had happened between him and Jiyong, the more uneasy he felt about going to see him. Jiyong probably didn’t want to see him.

As he walked up to the YG building he saw a couple of strong looking men standing by the front doors. Seunghyun gulped. His courage wasn’t that large. He was about to turn away and go back when he felt a little pinprick inside that felt like a push. He started moving forward closer to the door. His hands were shaking and sweating, his heart pushing to break free from its cage, and he was sure his voice would squeak if he ever spoke a word but he had to know if Jiyong was there. When he got closer to the doors the men stepped directly in front of them.

“What is your business here today?” The taller man asked in a strong tone.

“I’m here to see Kwon Jiyong.” Seunghyun stated in the toughest voice he could manage.

“I’m afraid I can’t authorize your entrance, could you please step away from the building?” The second man said to Seunghyun.

Seunghyun closed his eyes and breathed slowly. “I just would like to know if he is there. Could you tell me at least?” Seunghyun asked evenly.

“Are you his family?” The second man asked.

“Yes.” Seunghyun lied. He knew there would be no other way to get to see him.

“We need to see some form of identification or you’ll need to step away from the building.” The tall man stated.

Seunghyun started to feel panic. These men were really scary. Maybe he should just check Jiyong’s house. He started to back away when a familiar face poked outside the doors.

“Hey, Seunghyun.” Teddy said with an apologetic smile.

“Hey, Teddy, is Jiyong in there? Is he alright?” Seunghyun quickly asked before Teddy put up his hand.

“Yes, he’s here. He’s been here all day working. He said something about needing to clear his head and focus. YG is here today. He’s starting to get more serious about his job as he sees our sales and popularity climb. We had a fan break in last night and write all over the walls. Nothing too threatening but still, the security seems like something needed now. YG said that only those working for him get into the building so, I’m sorry but you can’t come in for the time being.” Teddy said to Seunghyun.

“I understand.” Seunghyun said, feeling his heart break a little that he wasn’t included with everyone else.

Teddy seemed to feel a little pity for him. He put his hand on Seunghyun’s shoulder and clapped it a few times.

“Stay strong, Seunghyun.” Teddy said before turning to walk back inside.

Seunghyun looked inside at the front desk lady checking her hair, obviously nervous at YG’s presence in the office. He smiled sadly, feeling like he knew all the people inside. Slowly, he turned and started walking away. If he ever had the chance, he would work there. YG felt like a family.