Soon after Teddy left, as the silence kept getting thicker, they decided to try to move on. At least it seemed that way to Seunghyun. He shouldn’t have asked Teddy to come in to settle the bet. He knew too much but if he said they both should get a room, doesn’t that mean he knows Jiyong feels that way? Seunghyun felt weak at the thought.

“Seunghyun, want me to help you with your math again?” Jiyong suggested.

Seunghyun shook his head. With the present thoughts he had it wouldn’t be so good to have Jiyong so close to him. He instead took out his rapping notebook and started to write. The thoughts he had seemed to flow out of his fingers onto the paper but in a more magical way. He kept going because he knew if he paused the flow might stop.

Seunghyun looked up from his notebook after filling 2 pages with thoughts to find the nook seemingly empty. He panicked. Where was Jiyong? He got up to go look when just down the hall from their nook he saw a small bundle holding his knees on the floor. Seunghyun’s heart dropped. Was he crying? He rushed to him.

“Jiyong-ah, what’s wrong?” Seunghyun asked the seemingly distressed bundle.

Jiyong peeked his eyes up, looking at Seunghyun over his knees. He wasn’t crying but his eyes seemed weighted with worry. He then shook his head and ducked his head back down, covering his eyes with his knees.

Seunghyun rubbed his back like he had earlier, hoping to relax him from his troubles. He knew no other way. It was hard not to focus on how his back felt, so warm and firm but this wasn’t the time for him to get carried away. He kept his eyes closed, breathing deep breaths to keep himself calm and hopefully seem more relaxed to Jiyong.

Soon, one of Jiyong’s arms let go of his legs and wrapped itself around Seunghyun’s back while Jiyong rested his head on Seunghyun’s shoulder, staring at the wall in from of him. Seunghyun lifted a shaking hand to Jiyong’s soft hair. This was almost too much for him to handle.

“J-J-Jiyong-ah?” Seunghyun stuttered.

“Mmm?” Jiyong said looking up at the other, mere centimeters away from his face like it was earlier that morning.

Seunghyun looked away before he spoke. “I have to use the restroom. Will you be okay without me for a minute? I promise I will be back.”

Jiyong grimaced a little while getting up. “I’ll be fine. Take your time.”

Seunghyun didn’t want to sprint down the hall but he went a lot quicker than the usual pace. Hopefully, Jiyong just thought he really had to use the bathroom.

Walking inside he took off his glasses and splashed some cold water on his face several times before looking at his reflection in the mirror above the sink. His face was puffy from lack of sleep, the blushing he felt was almost gone, and his acne was still there but less prominent than before. He sighed at the image before him. To anyone else, he looked like a normal overweight 15-year-old boy but Seunghyun didn’t see anything else but a coward. He couldn’t even comfort his…his…his crush, when he needed to be comforted. It was hard for him to admit to that word but there was no other way Seunghyun could describe it.

He knew what would happen if he acted and it scared him. No one was gay in Korea. If he acted on his feelings he would make his family even more disappointed. He wouldn’t be able to get married. He couldn’t hold Jiyong’s hand in public. His parents would send him to doctors to cure him so he wouldn’t feel this way towards Jiyong anymore. They would call him less than a normal Korean male. Was he really less than any of his friends or the other boys in his class? Why did he have to like Jiyong? Seunghyun’s fist smashed down on the plastic paper towel machine so hard that it had a large crack down the middle. Seunghyun sat down on the ground soon after and cried.

Soon, there was a creak from the bathroom door and Jiyong walked in to sit next to the sobbing Seunghyun, putting his arms around the tops of his arms and chest and leaning his head on his shoulder. Seunghyun rained his tears down on Jiyong’s arms. Tears from all his troubles. His terrible grades and intellect, his disgusting appearance, all of the mistakes he has made. Each one had their own matching set of tears and sobs.

Jiyong reached above them to grab a paper towel for the reddened faced Seunghyun, wiping at his tears. Seunghyun didn’t protest. He was way past caring at this point. He was so weak and so grateful to have someone taking care of him. Someone who he hoped liked him as he was, broken pieces and all.

“Neo gwachana-a?” Jiyong asked Seunghyun as his sobbed slowed down to silence spattered with sniffles.

Seunghyun sat there trying to think of an answer from his clouded mind. He shook his head. He couldn’t lie. He had been sobbing and his mind couldn’t come up with good enough of a lie.

“I’m not okay,” Seunghyun said quietly. “But I will be.”

Jiyong nodded like he understood. He curled himself up into a ball again and looked at the tiled floor in front of him, deep in thought.

“I know. It’s like somehow, tonight was a new beginning. It’s a scary and an exciting moment at the same time.” Jiyong said quietly.

Seunghyun wiped his nose and got up to help Jiyong off of the floor. He didn’t know if he could make it but he knew he was going to try his hardest to be his best for Jiyong, to make sure he kept smiling. There was a lot of changing happening from something that seemed so small but those changes made Seunghyun feel something slowly growing deep inside of him, something good.