When Seunghyun’s eyes cracked open it was still slightly dark. He hadn’t had the best night rest. He kept dozing in and out of consciousness, straining at the unease of the last conversation he had. He rubbed his eyes that felt more than a little swollen. Sighing he looked over at the alarm clock on Jiyong’s desk. 4:39 am. He decided to get up early. There wasn’t much use in trying to sleep more. If he got ready early enough he might be able to take his things to see his omma and noona before school started. He smiled a little at his idea as he got up to grab a set of clean clothes in the dark before using the bathroom. Right as he opened the door into the hallway he made the mistake of looking back.

Jiyong was laying there pretending to be asleep. He was curled up on his side with puffy features and fresh red on his cheeks from his tears. Seunghyun’s heart broke. He was doing this. He was making Jiyong this way. His friend and crush, Jiyong was upset because of him. It was probably the best for him to leave early then.

Before leaving the room Seunghyun whispered. “I’m so sorry, Jiyong.”

He took a hot shower that helped him clear his head a little. He didn’t really feel much as he got out, just a numb sensation inside. The numbness was almost a lie. He knew that any small thing could make him come crashing down. He just had to stay focused and it would all be okay.

He went into Jiyong’s room right as the room started to show glimmers of light. He worked in the shadows, taking his clothes and stuffing them into one of his bags. He didn’t have much else out until he saw the bearbrick on the floor. His bearbrick, or rather, their bearbrick. He had a moment of pondering. Should he leave it for Jiyong or take it with him home? If Jiyong saw it, it could cause a variety of emotions. It was a tossup if it was good or bad so Seunghyun picked it up and put it in his pocket before he changed his mind again.

Seunghyun laid on the floor looking at the ceiling and daydreaming of all the fun times he has had over the past 9 days. It really had been a whirlwind of events that he could have never seen coming or believed if someone told him about it. When he got to the memory of Jiyong’s kiss and the feeling of his slightly chapped lips against his, so sweet and simple, but powerful all the same, he felt tears tugging at his eyes. Thankfully, Seunghyun heard noises coming from the kitchen that had to be Jiyong’s omma starting on making breakfast. Seunghyun eased himself from the floor, wiping the underedge of his eyes before getting up to see if he could help her and avoid the awkwardness of the morning with Jiyong before he left.

Seunghyun shuffled down the short hallway to find Jiyong’s omma chopping vegetables to put them in a large pot. When she looked up she jumped and placed a hand over her heart in shock.

“Omo! Seunghyun, you scared me. What are you doing up so early?” She asked looking behind him as if expecting Jiyong to appear.

“I wasn’t sleeping so well so I thought I should get up and get my things together. If it’s alright, I’d like to leave earlier this morning and see my family before school.” Seunghyun explained.

Jiyong’s omma smiled softly while chopping an onion.

“I’m sure your omma would love that. You really are a good son.” She said.

“Ani. I’m not. I should treat her better but I keep screwing up in some way or another.” Seunghyun responded softly.

“You’re young so you may not understand but mothers are generally more forgiving than you would think. Their love runs deep.” She said to the wary Seunghyun.

“Maybe. I still think I should do more. Would you like some help with anything?” Seunghyun asked as she looked at the time and scrambled around the room.

“Yes, please. That would be really sweet of you, Seunghyun. Could you start the rice cooker and get out the eggs and the radish, water, and cabbage kimchis?” She said while filling a pot with water for tea.

“Sure, now where is the rice?” Seunghyun asked, spinning around.

“Cabinet next to the sink.” She said, setting the kettle on the stove.

Seunghyun measured out the rice and filled the machine on the countertop above while Jiyong’s omma opened the refrigerator to get a fish and a container of broth. After putting in the water and pressing a few buttons he got out the kimchis. They were still rather full containers for this time of year. Seunghyun laughed.

“It’s good to hear laughter in the morning. Both you and Jiyong have been seeming rather glum lately.” She said from the stove.

“Yeah, it’s just, how can you have so much kimchi left with the way Jiyong eats? I mean I know he doesn’t eat his lunch all the time but otherwise he really shovels it all down.” Seunghyun commented.

She smiled sadly. “Yeah. He really can be a bi-polar eater. I think he just forgets about food until he gets close to starving then he binges on food like none other. I’m going to let you in on a little secret though.” She said.

“What’s that?” Seunghyun asked while putting kimchi on several small serving plates.

“I make triple batches of kimchi and when I do, I always have him help so he craves the banchan for the rest of the year.” She said with a sneaky smile.

Seunghyun chuckled. That would be a way to do it. It also explains why sometimes he doesn’t eat his lunch. His omma doesn’t always pack it with kimchi to wet his appetite.

Soon the table was set and Jiyong’s appa came to the table. He looked surprised to see Seunghyun at the table already dishing himself food.

“Well, who do we have here?” Jiyong’s appa commented jokingly.

“I’m sorry, sir. I should have waited for you to dish yourself breakfast.” Seunghyun apologized as he stood up and bowed.

Jiyong’s appa laughed. “Don’t worry, Seunghyun. I know we can all get really hungry.”

Seunghyun sighed with relief. He was also glad he didn’t have to give up his large bowl of rice to the man. It was fresh and steamy, just how he liked it.

“He’s up so he can go check in with his family before school starts. Isn’t that sweet of him?” Jiyong’s omma said to her husband as she dished him rice.

“Yes, it is. You really are a good son to your parents.” He said with a small smile.

Seunghyun ate his food rather quickly not only because he felt extremely hungry from missing dinner the previous night but also because he couldn’t wait to see his family. He hoped his noona wouldn’t be too mad about him not calling her. He just couldn’t find the time.

He heard the shower water turn on as soon as he got up from the table. He bowed and thanked both of Jiyong’s parents for the meal and allowing for him to stay before going into Jiyong’s room. He grabbed his bags, aware of the empty bed that laid disheveled. He closed his eyes and debated whether or not he should linger and say goodbye to the room. He shook his head rapidly. Saying goodbye to a room? That seemed a little crazy…plus, he knew he couldn’t do it without getting choked up.

He looked out of the doorway in the direction of the bathroom. He still heard the water running and saw the light on under the crack. The coast was clear. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to say goodbye to Jiyong. He just didn’t like awkward situations and this was one of them. If he just left all of this alone, things would go back to being good or maybe even better. He also knew that if he said anything it would likely screw things up. It was better this way.

He grabbed the bags, left the room and walked to the door to put on his shoes to leave. Before he did he did a deep bow once again to his parents to thank them. They were touched and a little shocked but seemed to be getting to his formality. He slid on his shoes and pulled his hoodie over his head. He sighed and left jiyong’s apartment trying not to get emotional, hoping that he would be there again and on good terms with Jiyong.