As Seunghyun walked up to his house he felt a huge weight lift from his shoulders. He didn’t know why but thinking about seeing his family made him feel like his problems would soon disappear. He knew it was stupid but he couldn’t wait to see them. He knocked on the door rapidly with a large smile on his face. The door opened to reveal his omma who looked rather shocked to see him. Her eye looked better but now both of them had a set of dark circles that couldn’t be concealed. After a second she smiled widely and took him in her arms.

“Seunghyun-ah, my Seunghyun baby is finally home.” She said gleefully while his hair.

“Yes, I’m here omma. I couldn’t wait to see you guys until afternoon so here I am.” Seunghyun said with a smile.

“Are you alright? Your coloring doesn’t look right. Something is wrong isn’t it? Why else would you come this early.” She said through squinted eyes.

“Nothing is wrong. I just really missed you and your cooking.” Seunghyun said with a small smile, hoping to divert from her questioning.

She brightened up. “Aigoo, has my Seunghyun missed his rolled up egg? Did you eat breakfast? Do you need a packed lunch?” She asked while quickly rushing into the kitchen.

Seunghyun followed and his mouth started to water at the thought of his omma’s rolled up egg. No one made it like she did.

“I already ate breakfast but I guess I don’t have a lunch for today.” Seunghyun said while listening to his omma starting the rice cooker and breaking out the pans to cook his food. Never more had he felt such love for his omma.

He went into the kitchen to see her rolling the egg around a flat pan while shaking her secret spice mix on it and adding spring onion. His mouth watered at the smell. He never thought of how much he loved and missed home until he had felt it when returned.

“How was your stay, Seunghyun? I talked to Jiyong’s parents, by the way, they seem like nice people, a little extra friendly.” She said.

Seunghyun smiled. “I guess they are. It was really nice. I worried about you and noona but they were really kind.” He replied.

“I’m glad. Your appa and I have some things to talk to you about but we will later. You have school soon.” She said while cutting the egg and arranging it in Seunghyun’s lunch box.

Seunghyun nodded. He stood and watched his omma make his lunch, amazed at her speed. Within a few minutes she had packed his lunchbox with rolled up egg, rice, kimchi, chicken skewers, and a treat that you could see she was trying to keep secret but Seunghyun had seen, a steamed red bean paste bun. He his lips in anticipation.

“Thank you omma. Do you want to have tea and talk after school today?” Seunghyun asked with a smile.

She returned the smile three times larger. “Of course, my Seunghyun. Work hard today.” She said before Seunghyun slipped out of the house.

He felt his smile go through his whole body. Everything would be okay. He had his family. They were his strength. He didn’t have to go through all of this alone. It was starting to rain so he decided to take the bus instead of walking the few blocks to school. He waited at the stop with a different outlook than when he arrived home. He was going to stay by Jiyong’s side, no matter what happened, until the end. He could do it.

He walked up to the school with confidence. He felt it pulsing through his veins. He felt so powerful, like he could do anything. He sat in class and pulled out his rapping notebook to write some pretty powerful lyrics. He had never felt this way before. Maybe this is what Danny and Teddy were talking about, how rappers should be. He smiled to himself. He was a rapper.

He started rapping his lyrics to himself, pairing it with beats and hand motions he had seen in music videos and even a couple that Jiyong had used. Seunghyun thought of Jiyong and his amazing power and confidence. He really was too good for him.

Soon class had begun and Seunghyun was slowly brought back down to earth from his cloud of dreams. He groaned as his teacher started writing on the board and speaking in a monotone voice. This had to be done as a joke. First teacher of the day, lulling everyone back to sleep. His euphoria killed at the first uttered phrase. He tried to focus on the assignment given and not on the teacher’s voice.

He wanted to see Jiyong, make sure that he wasn’t mad at him for leaving without saying goodbye. He wanted to know if he really made him so sad that he cried during the night. He knew at this point that time wouldn’t work in his favor though so he tried to keep his mind focused on finishing his class assignments and not falling asleep or worrying about Jiyong.

As 10:00 approached, Seunghyun tried his best to keep his feelings under control. The teacher walked in at around 10:05. He had a new expression on his face that looked like exasperation. That was strange but Seunghyun didn’t pay much attention as he gripped his rapping notebook. He waited for Jiyong to come in so he could quickly show him his new raps before class resumed.

He waited and anticipated but Jiyong never walked in. Seunghyun sat confused at the situation. It was like déjà vu. Why wasn’t Jiyong here today? He was up getting ready for school. His parents didn’t say anything. Was he ditching again? That wasn’t like Jiyong. They were filming for that 1TYM show today, he wouldn’t be allowed in anyways, right? His mind was whirring with confusion and worry. How could Jiyong do this to him? He knew things were awkward but did he really not want to see him this much?

Seunghyun looked up as he heard his math teacher clear his throat.

“I have a note from the administration of the school. Kwon Jiyong has been admitted to Seoul Korean Traditional Arts Middle & High School. We should all wish him well on his accomplishment and move on with our work like usual, even though this is a sudden departure.” He said.

Seunghyun’s blood turned to ice. Jiyong had never mentioned this. Why didn’t he tell him? Soon after the haze started to clear he started to pick up on the hints and signs. Why Jiyong was so rushed to sing, the kiss, his crying, his lack of worrying about his grades and homework. He felt dead. He couldn’t feel anything but his pain coursing through his body. He couldn’t see Jiyong anymore. He tried to hold back the tears as he asked for the pass for the restroom.

He took the pass and bolted down the hall to the restroom, his nose and eyes running with fresh hot liquid from all the pain. He ran inside and kicked at all the stall doors as hard as he could. He struck everything in sight. He couldn’t see from all the pain, everything was a blur. He was breathing so hard and making so much noise that wasn’t fully registering in his brain. He was vaguely aware of all the water on the ground, not aware of where it was coming from. He sat on the ground after what felt like 5 minutes but was more like 20 minutes and sobbed.

Soon, he felt a hand shaking his shoulder. It was a teacher with a student behind him who looked really frightened. The teacher was saying something in an angry tone about damaging school property and respect before taking him by the shirt, dragging him out of the bathroom, and down the stairs. He noticed all the students of the classrooms near by flooding out into the hall to see what was happening and who was making all the noise.

Seunghyun was in a daze as he sat in front of the Dean’s desk with the teacher. The Dean looked shocked as he looked up between Seunghyun’s school record and the boy before him. It all came crashing down when his mother walked into the office though. She looked sheet white. His shade soon matched hers as every word uttered stuck to him like he was coated in glue. “Disrespectful” “Delinquent” “Slacker” “Disruption” “Criminal” “Lost Cause”

Every label made his tears increase. He felt at an all time low when he heard his mother plead for them not to call the police, that she would pay off the cost to fix the bathroom. She asked for their kindness and consideration. She left behind all pride as she knelt on the floor and cried. The Dean finally sighed and gave in to the sad scene before him. The other teacher wasn’t happy with this solution, something about justice and balance. The Dean told him to let it go and suddenly he went quiet and bowed before leaving.

Seunghyun was suspended for 2 weeks, not that he minded. He was also told that he needed to take counseling for the remainder of the school year. He was told this was a light punishment and he should be grateful for his leniency and kindness. The Dean had someone sent to get his belongings and he took the long trip home with his omma. She was crying silently on the bus. He couldn’t get his head to look higher than the ground. Jiyong was gone. His drive, his muse, his crush, his friend, his soul mate. How could he move on? Jiyong didn’t want him and he was the worst son ever. Why did he keep failing those around him by screwing up? He just kept hurting everyone, including himself.