Chapter 15: Where are you?

A 'Sulay' and 'Hanhun' chapter...

“Sehunnie~” Luhan called out to his lover. Sehun, who was sitting on their bed with a book on his hand, looked up to his boyfriend and wonders why Luhan called out to him.

“Yes?”-Sehun mouthed to Luhan. Luhan smiled and went up to his lover and leaned to peck the pink, luscious lips of Sehun. Luhan pulled off his head and cheekily grinned as he saw the flustered face of Sehun.

Sehun blushed in deep red because of the surprise kiss and was quite shy about this kind of things.

Luhan sat beside his boyfriend and clung his arm with the younger’s. He rested his head on the younger’s shoulder and puckered his lips as if he was thinking something very deep.

Sensing the quietness of Luhan, Sehun began to worry for him. He placed the book on the bed and his hand went up to Luhan’s hair to caress it.

In every caress, Luhan feel like he knows what Sehun was telling him as if it was like this-“Lulu? You okay? Is something wrong? Do you feel sick or did you get yourself hurt?”

A smile crept on his face as he thought what Sehun is trying to tell him. He lifted his head from Sehun’s shoulder and looked at Sehun’s face. Sehun, on the other hand, stared equally as Luhan.

They stared at each other’s eyes until Luhan leaned his face closer to Sehun’s face. Sehun could feel Luhan’s breath trickled on his skin as a slight shiver ran down on his spine.

Closing his eyes, Sehun knew what would happen next. Luhan stared at Sehun’s close eyes before closing his eyes and captured the younger’s luscious lips, feeling the mild sweetness in Sehun’s lips and soon, they let themselves fall into bliss of the cold night.

Eyes flutter open as beads of sweat trickled down from the hair to the neck. Luhan sits up with a major headache in his head. Drinking a lot of wines and alcohols yesterday was not a very good idea.

All he remembered after drinking a lot of those liquors was that he was struggling to go home after getting out of the bar.

Then, he remembered he called someone up but he doesn’t remember who the one he called was; after that, he ended the call and passed out.

He doesn’t remember what happened after that. His mind flew to wonder who could take him in their house. Because judging by the sight of the messy room, it was not completely his room. His, was very organized and neat and his wall paint is red partnered with blue.

A bundle of pain struck his head as his hand went up to his hair to clutch his hair and pulled it in attempt to take out the pain inside his brain.

Just in time, the door of the room opened and revealed a tall young man with a tray of breakfast on his hands.

When the young man saw that Luhan was clutching his hair in pain, he quickly put down the tray on the small desk and went to Luhan to check up on him.

“Hey, you okay?” A deep voice resonated on the room. Luhan shivered at the voice and looked at the young man in front of him. His eyes widen in surprise as he saw the man in front of him. A gasp escapes his mouth as he stared at the boy.

“Y-Yongguk?”

~*~

Putting a spoonful of milk powder on his mug, he poured some hot water on his mug and mixed it with the little teaspoon.

He always admires Suho’s office containing a lot of necessities including the utensils and the coffee maker plus a large flat screen T.V. He wonders if Director Xing gave this to him as a gift because an office like this is beyond than the other doctor’s office.

He takes a sip on his hot milk as soon as he saw that it was quite warm. His mind wanders off to his boyfriend.

'How is he? Is he doing well? Did he eat well without him? Has he been thinking about him also, like the way he was thinking of him every day? Did he already return?' Sehun though as questions clouds his mind as he puts down his mug on the table.

He has been wondering and thinking of Luhan day and night without fail. He always thinks about Luhan’s health considering that his boyfriend is very sickly. And he always wonders if Luhan has come back and is finding him.

He always thinks that but counteracts it with another set of sentences always follows like: If Luhan has come back but why wasn’t looking for him? What if Luhan has another girl or boy?

What if Luhan forgot about him and exchange him with another? What if Luhan doesn’t love him anymore?

Tears started to trickle down his face as he thought those. A tingling pain started to knock at his heart and wants to enter. What if those were true? What now? Soon, he was sobbing.

He’s been thinking a lot lately about those after the memories of the past started to appear in his dreams. It was bothering him lately but not all of it though. He was quite happy he was dreaming of those but when he wakes up, he has to face the reality that Luhan wasn’t there beside him.

But...

Sehun wipes of the tears from his stained face and drinks his hot milk not leaving a single trace of milk on his mug. He puts down his mug and looks at his ring.

The ring that Luhan gave him, the ring that he kept and believed for 7 years, that Luhan will come back and find him so that they will be together again like last time.

He examines the ring that engraves ‘Luhan’ on it and a red string swirled on the ring meeting at the endpoints it’s attached.

He has to wait.

~*~

Lay blankly looks at the window pane and watches the outside world with confusion and distraught. His father had left him yesterday night and he was in distraught when his father said his farewell to him. He knew he shouldn’t be acting this way, but he couldn’t help it.

His father was the only one who knows him, understand him and comfort him. No one else knows and will ever be. He gave a small weak smile to him and waved his hand to his father as his father left with a worried heart yet a smile plastered on his face.

Sighing a bit, Lay looks down on the frame he was holding. He quietly stares at the picture of him and Director Xing. It was when he was still a child and Director Xing was still a young man. Soon, tears started to trickle down his pale face.

'I wonder...how mama and baba are doing.'Yixing thought to himself as his mind wanders of thinking about his real parents. The fact that his real parents dumped him in a nearby tree, laying a basket containing a baby which is him and soon Director Xing, his new father, took him in and considered him as his own son.

With those days, he thought that he didn’t have a cruel life but when he stepped on the age of 5, his own precious world started to crumble. He learned the truth so early when he accidentally heard his ‘father’ talking to his parents and that they don’t want him and that they would like him to be with Director Xing instead to be with them.

He lost himself.

Little Yixing walks down the long hallway, wanting to see his ‘father’ and play with him. Little Yixing would always be the one that would take away all the stress that Director Xing had even though he’s been busy from work.

Pitter-patter, little Yixing walks down step by step and stops in front of a large door. The good thing is, the doorknob was not very high and little Yixing would be able to held the doorknob and opened it.

Little Yixing held the doorknob and takes a peek inside and found his ‘father’ sitting on the master’s couch. A smile crept on his face and was about to knock on the door so that his ‘father’ would know he was there, when he saw two unfamiliar figures sitting across his ‘father’.

‘Who are they?’ He stares at the couple as he thought to himself.

The lady wore a whit cocktail gown partnered with a glass shoes and her hair loosely down with sparkles of glitter on her hair and a light pinkish colour spreads on her face, her cheeks flustered up with a small amount of blush on.

Her long eyelashes flick up and down as she blinks and looks up to the young man in front of her.

“Xing Zhu Yix...” The lady started. Her purplish-red eyes stared at the young man in front of her.

“Yes, Zhang Li Mei? What could I assist for the both of you?” Zhu Yix answered, his legs crossed as he places his hands on his laps, staring at the young couple in front of him. Well, he wouldn’t say that they are young by the fact that they are already 22 years old. But yeah, they’re still young.

“We would like to talk about our son, Yixing.” A deep voice said; it was the husband of Li Mei, Zhang Cha Liao. Zhu Yix averted his eyes to the man. A scowl on his face was clearly seen.

“Don’t talk about him as if you know him already. You don’t even know him or how old is he, do you?” Zhu Yix snarled at them.

Li Mei stared at him and puckered her lips before talking.

“We didn’t come here to chit-chat or argue. We’re here to tell you something.” She spoke as her purplish-red eyes stared at him with pensive in her voice.

Zhu Yix glanced at them before grunting. “Go.”

“We came here to tell you that we are giving you are son. We don’t like him nor do we love him. After a thorough thinking and opinions my husband and I had, we decided to let his being be with you. To simply say it, we are abandoning Yixing. We are going to live a life without a sickly son like him.” She spoke, her tone like an ice, eyes blank and void of emotions as she spoke so casually as if it’s a normal thing to say. Her face shows no emotion at all but her beauty is still undefined.

Water flew through her face after Zhu Yix threw water on her face with an angry expression. She was caught off guarded for a while but soon she collected herself and put up her poker face after wiping off the traces of water on her face by her handkerchief.

“Fine, I’ll take him but not because you abandoned him to me, but I’ll take care of him in my own accord with him being as my own son.”  Zhu Yix hissed as he glared menacingly at them. Li Mei’s husband, Cha Liao, stared at him with cold eyes.

Li Mei finished wiping off the water from her face as she muttered a ‘thank you.’

Little Yixing gasps soundlessly, eyes widen in shock from the conversation he just heard.

He...he was just abandoned and his ‘father’ just took him in? So the father that he knew wasn’t his real father? And that the two unfamiliar couple was his true parents?

And that, they don’t want him to be their son? And that they are giving him to his so-called father?

Why?

 

Why?

 

Why?

 

WHY?

Pain scorches in his heart as invisible arrows struck his heart painfully, tearing apart his hearts slowly. His breathing hitches as tears fall down; he backs away a little and felt a lump on his throat.

His eyes were blurry and pain is still in his heart trying to break his heart. His hand went up to chest clutching his t-shirt very hard where his heart location is indicated.

He choked the pain and sands of dizziness aimed at his mind. And darkness started to conquer him and soon he was out of the world.

He wakes up the next morning on his room with his ‘father’ sleeping on the rocking chair in an uncomfortable position.

After that day, he tends to space out and forgets a lot. Zhu Yix insisted Yixing to have a check up and soon they found out that Yixing’s Alzheimer is acting up.

And after that, the following days, he forgot what happened that day but traces of that day is still engraved yet hidden deep down in his mind.

More tears poured down from his eyes as he shut his eyes tightly.

Pain aims again in his heart as he tries to catch his breath but it got worse, he swallowed the lump on his throat and his breath hitches. His hand went up to his chest and clutches his clothing where his heart was located.

He hiccups soundlessly and clenched his jaws and gritted his teeth as he felt the unbearable pain scorch once again in his heart.

‘It hurts...please...no more...’

~

“Y-Yongguk?” Luhan spluttered with wide eyes. Yongguk grinned before walking to the table and took the tray containing the food.

“Hey Lu, how are ya?” Yongguk asks as he placed the tray in front of Luhan and takes a chair and put it in front of his bed and sits down.

Luhan couldn’t believe who he was staring at.

It was Yongguk.

The last time he saw this man was 4 years ago in France and now he was here. He was the one who helped him when he escaped from his parents for some time and that he stayed in his house for awhile after the escape.

Tears pour down without him knowing and soon, he was sobbing. Yongguk panicked and went to Luhan’s side and comforted the younger.

“Hey, don’t cry. Is there something the matter?” Yongguk asks in concern. Luhan shaked his head and bite back his sobs.

“Have you found Sehun yet?” Yongguk asks, worry laced in his voice. He knew everything about Luhan's life and what had happened. Luhan once again shook his head in response. He hasn’t made a single progress after he came from America where he abandoned his parents.

He buried his head on Yongguk’s neck and clutches on Yongguk’s over-sized t-shirt and sobs more.

Yongguk doesn’t know what to do, so he let Luhan cry it all out.

The thing is, Luhan doesn’t know why he cried but he knew partially that he cried because it’s been awhile he saw Yongguk but the other half, he doesn’t know.

Then something popped on his mind.

Was Sehun crying? If so, maybe that was the reason why he was crying. They were connected to each other no matter how far they were. Their souls were bound to each other and somehow if something would happen to the other, a sign will take place to the half.

Maybe that’s the reason and he felt guilty and pain started to strike his heart. Sehun was crying and he wasn’t there. He wasn’t there to comfort him. He wasn’t there to embrace the younger and whisper comforting words and sing him lullabies.

He was angry, angry that he couldn’t be there for Sehun. He was angry to himself that he hasn’t made a single progress in finding Sehun, his dear boyfriend.

He blames himself for Sehun’s tears.

It’s because of him.

He knew it very well.

That the cause of Sehun’s tears was because of him. He knew that the boy was sensitive and easily cries. He blames it all to himself and to him only.

Soon, he doesn’t know what happened but he felt no tears pouring down in his eyes as drowsiness sprinkled on him and the next he knew was, he fell asleep once more.

~*~

[Sehun’s Point of View]

After leaving the tray of food on Mr. Hong, I went to visit Woohyun hyung. Opening the door of the room, I poked my head in the room and saw a familiar boy looking at the window. A smile crept on my face and slowly I slid in and quietly closed the door.

I was about to surprise Woohyun hyung when he caught me.

“I know you’re there Sehun ah.” Woohyun hyung turned his head to my direction. I pouted and went near him. I playfully smacked his arm and he chuckled.

“There, there. I know you always want to surprise me, so don’t need to be disheartened.” Woohyun hyung calmly said to me and I pouted more. Woohyun hyung stared at me before ruffling my hair.

“Stop pouting, Sehun. It doesn’t look good on you! You look much better when you smile.” He grinned at me and I fakely smiled.

Lies.

I clasped my hand with his and kissed him on the cheek before unclasping my hand with his. I stared at his light brown eyes and I smiled sadly. I took a sit on the chair beside his bed.

He smiled back and his hand finds its way on my cheek, first touching my chin before my lips then my cheek. Once his hand found my cheek, he caressed it lovingly and my hand clasped with his hand that was caressing my cheek.

He grinned widely at me before pulling his hand away and I pulled my hand away. I rested my hands on the bed and rested my head on my arms and played with the hem of the bed and him playing with my hair.

I didn’t mind and we are usually like this every time, but the next thing that happened wasn’t.

“Are you okay, Sehun?” He asks worriedly. I was surprised at first when he asked me that. I mean, he wasn’t the type to ask such questions and I made sure my actions aren’t definite to show my feelings, but how? I mean how could he see my actions like that?

I didn’t answer. In any response that I could give him, I didn’t answer. I just simply stared at him in surprise and watch his eyebrows furrow together and his face showing worry. I sighed and buried my head on the bed, my hands on my lap as I felt tears welled up in my eyes.

I had to admit, his low, husky soft voice makes my wall break down to bits. His soft melodic voice somehow makes me want to cry it all out. My frustrations, my longing and my hope. Everything, I want to cry it out.

And in all while, I was actually crying out already, tears were rolling down from my eyes. I bit my lip as the thoughts of Luhan race in my mind.

A soft delicate hand caresses my hair and I know its Woohyun hyung.

“Let it all out Sehun. Cry it out with all your heart. Just cry it out and through your tears, I would at least know how much pain you have carried out in your life. And through it, at least I could have helped you a bit just by being here beside you.” Woohyun hyung whispered and I shut my eyes tightly and cried.

Lies...Lies...

And on that day, I cried with my whole heart than the previous nights that I have cried because on that day I cried out everything to Woohyun hyung. I wasn’t alone at that time, because Woohyun hyung was there for me.

~*~

People walking down the streets, cars and trucks move upward and downward the road to go to their designated place. Trees dance and sun shines showing everybody’s smiles as they go to work or wherever they are going to.

Yixing watches them through the small window and a sad smile slowly crept on his face.

‘I wonder if Mrs. and Mr. Zhang would visit me again? They said they would...'

He wondered to himself as numerous coughs started to attack him. Slowly, he’s breathing started to change as time pass by. He quickly looked for the switch bell of his private nurse. He used all of his energy to reach the switch and before he out, he knew he was able to press the switch.

~*~

(Yixing’s Point of View)

“Lay...Lay...Lay...”  A voice calls my name. It was sweet and full of love and care. It’s like a strawberry dipped in honey. I looked around my surroundings. It was pitch black and I couldn’t see anything else except for a man sitting on a chair, looking at me.

I knew immediately that, that man who was sitting is me.

Me and my consciousness.

A smile formed on his face as he took notice of me, acknowledging his presence. The same smile like mine...dimple would be visible when I smile, eyes would turn slit.

He opened his mouth and uttered with a sound that caught me surprised.

“Wake up, Joonmyeon is calling you.”

“Lay...”

That was the last thing I heard before I black out from this dream of mine.

[End of Point of View]

~

Suho was in his office, eyes scanning over the papers he had in his hand. New medical records were in the left side of his table and lists of patients where on his right side of the table.

He was too engrossed on reading the papers that he almost didn’t hear the bell went off. Upon hearing the bell, he quickly stood up and rushed out of his office. He knew that Lay called for him and his chest is tightening from every second he moved.

He needs to run fast.

Upon his way there, he saw his assistant, Sehun walking opposite of his, reading some records in his hand.

Once, he was close to his assistant, he held Sehun’s arm and dragged him with him. Sehun was completely surprised when someone held his arm and was literally dragged.

He turned his eyes to look at the person who was practically dragging him. His eyes widens as he saw that it was his hyung. He skilfully pried off his arm from Suho’s hold and started running at the same pace with him. Suho didn't need to react on that one; he knew Sehun was very skilful in getting away in someone's hold. So he let it be, and started to run fast as he could because every second ticks his heart ache.

They arrived at the room that seems like eternity and quickly, Suho slides the door open and went inside, finding an unconscious Lay lying on the bed with his hand clutching on his chest. The beats of the hearts dropping low very fast.

Panic rose on Suho’s heart and whole body, his face turned pale as he saw the readings. He quickly approached the figure lying and told Sehun to get the oxygen mask. Without wasting a second, Sehun quickly went to get the oxygen mask from the neighbouring room.

Quickly getting the kit from the closet, he took out a syringe and bottle of stabilizer. After emptying the small bottle, Suho went immediately beside Lay and plunged the syringe in his body. As the liquid pours into Lay’s body, Suho took out the syringe and watch the rate slows down.

Nodding that it’s enough, Suho lifted Lay’s fragile body (didn’t forget to notice that Lay’s body tensed up a little) and positioned the younger’s body into much comfortable position, his hands automatically went up to the younger’s chest and started to push.

His face leaned Lay’s, pinched the younger's nose and opened Lay’s mouth and blows some air to give air to the lungs and waited to see the chest rise. Once, he saw Lay's chest rise he pulled away and started to push Lay’s chest in attempt to make the latter regain air and to wake up.

He repeated the cycle thrice before Sehun came in with an oxygen mask who immediately connected the oxygen mask to the oxygen concentrator. The younger pulled the concentrator near Suho and gave the oxygen mask to Suho who was in a state of panic and worry.

Once, Suho got a hold of the oxygen mask, he puts it first on the side of the bed before taking one last give of air, their lips touch and blows some air, and one last push in the chest, the slow drops stopped and was replaced with the familiar beep and started to function slowly up.

Suho heard the familiar sound and he pulls away and looks at the heart monitor before looking at Lay who regained his breath back but was still not awake.

Suho calms down a bit and puts in the oxygen mask on Lay’s face. The white plastic goes up and goes down as a sign of that Lay is once again breathing normally and regained back the air he needed.

He slumped back on the chair located near the bed and sighed in relief. Sehun wiped off the sweat on his head and sighed soundlessly in relief. He was glad that they were able to save Lay’s life in time because if they wasted a second...-Lay would be dead now.

A smile crept on the two nurses’ face as they watch Lay’s chest lifts up and down in regular beat. Sehun wrote on his small white board and tapped Suho’s shoulder for the older to read it.

Hyung, do you want some coffee?

Suho read the words on the board and looked up at Sehun; he noticed that Sehun wasn’t holding anything anymore.

 He reluctantly nodded his head but before he let Sehun go, he asks.

“Sehun, where are the papers you are holding?”

Sehun blinked before smiling and left Suho, confused. Suho blinked before chuckling as he thought to himself.

‘That kid really knows how to make me confused.’

After chuckling, he moved the chair much closer to Lay’s bed and takes a sit once more, and looked at Lay’s sleeping face. Suho could feel his heart beat beats unusual and he could feel his cheeks warm for no reason.

His hand slowly went its way up to Lay’s face and brushed away the few strands of hair on the younger’s face.

“Lay...Lay…Lay..” He chanted as he put his arm in the bed and rested his face on his arm, facing Lay’s face as his other hand slowly caressing the younger’s cheek.

“Lay...” Suho whispered once more, just then Lay’s eyes flutters open. His eyes roamed around the room before his eyes looked at him.  Suho quickly took his hand away, shock and stood up with a bright smile.

“Lay! You’re awake!”

Lay stared at Suho’s face and continues to breathe resulting to Suho to blushed because by the fact that, Lay looked quite of y because of the sleepy-like eyes staring at him, continuous of breathing that adds to it, dishevelled hair plus the feeling he got when their lips touched.

'Aish! Joonmyeon get a hold of yourself!' He thought to himself before sighing.

‘Suho...’

Lay mentally thought to himself as he remembered what happened in his dream, his eyes fixed on Suho before looking at the white ceiling.

“Wake up, Joonmyeon is calling you.”

A slight warm feeling filled Lay’s cheek, as he nervously glanced at Suho, who left his side to get some fruits on the refrigerator. Suho returned back with some apples. He sat himself once more on the chair and took out a fruit knife inside the small desk and started peeling the apples.

Lay watches Suho peel the apples until the apple was cut into pieces.  Lay wants to sit up and slowly tried to sit up. Suho saw Lay’s attempt to sit up and quickly abandoned the apple and knife on the table and tried to help Lay.

Forgetting Lay’s aphephobia for the slightest moment.

His hands were almost close to Lay’s frail body when Lay instinctively backed away a little and panic rose to Lay’s pale face.

Suho saw the unwillingness of Lay, helping him; he puts up a fake smile and nodded his head, seeing the fake smile that his private nurse put up, made Lay’s heart crush bit by bit.

He sat on his chair and resumed peeling the apples. Lay looked at Suho with sadness in his eyes before trying to sit up slowly and carefully.

As Suho was peeling the apples with his head hang low, he couldn’t help but glance at Yixing’s attempt to sit up. He sighed and put aside the apples and knife on the desk again and stood up and went in front of Lay’s bed and adjusted the bed’s formation into much comfortable one where Lay wouldn’t have trouble anymore.

Lay saw Suho’s action in helping him out without touching made him feel more pitiful and feel pain in his heart. He doesn’t want this kind of situation and he hated this kind of situations where he is helplessly useless and pathetic where his phobia is the cause of his misery of being friendless.

He let his back rest on the adjusted bed and looked at the people outside through the window, feeling the pain slowly spreading on his heart, while Suho looks at Lay with sadness and wonders in his mind.

A/N: Hallo~ *waves hand* So another Sulay but this time with Hanhun? Yeah, that’s most likely what happened. So Yixing almost dies? Sehun and Luhan’s emotions connected slightly? Yeah. So share me what your thoughts for this chapter.

Question: How many chapters do you think this story will take?

Lots of Love <3