http://youtu.be/9tGiuz7srOI

"Where the hell have you been?" Yongguk shouted at me. I winced and hung my head.

"I just thought-"

"If we're going to practice, we have to as a team. We can't have members slacking off."

At the mention of the words 'team' and 'members', tears welled up in my eyes.

"If you weren't serious about this in the first place you should have never agreed to be a member of B.A.P." Yongguk growled.

"Joesonghamnida." I bowed. "I'll try harder."

(A/N: Joesonghamnida = formal 'sorry'. If anyone watches dramas they probably hear this a lot.)

Yongguk huffed. "Just get into position. Thanks to you we have to stay even longer."

I placed my bags on the ground and took the scarf off. I then put on a hoodie and put the hood over my head so no one could see my tears while we practiced.

Practice went smoothly, there were only a few mistakes, thankfully it wasn't me. I don't think Yongguk had the patience right now.

"Good practice everyone." He smiled at everyone but it faltered when he looked at me. I just lowered my gaze and fixed my hood. I knew my mascara had run and I didn't want them to know I had cried.

It was awkwardly silent for awhile.

Himchan cleared his throat. "I guess we're going."

One by one they filed out, leaving me behind. Once I knew they were gone I peeled off my hood and wiped my sweat. I glanced at myself in the mirror and saw where eyeliner and mascara were all smeared.

I went over to my bag and pulled out some make-up remover wipes and cleaned my face off. I was satisfied with the clean look and tried my best to smile but my lips didn't even twitch.

What was once a good day just plummeted.

For a little bit I just stood in the middle of the training room. My arms hung limp and my head was down. I fished out my ipod and went over to the doc.

I plugged it in and went to my B2ST playlist. It was everything from their songs as a group, solos, and even ones the members were featured in. I had half a mind to put Troublemaker on but a partner was needed to dance that one. So, in all honesty, I've never danced to it. And I had no desire to. Hyuna can keep her y role.

I wanted a song with a good rap from Junhyung. My eyes stopped on G.NA's song 'I'll Back Off so You can Live'. Dujun was in the MV while Junhyung had a short rapping part. But did I really want to make myself more depressed? 'Beautiful' was a good choice. It was always fun to dance that one in the waiting rooms when I was BEAST's make-up artist. I slightly smiled at the memories. I was happy then.

But I scrolled past it. The memories might make me cry. Then I saw Junhyung's newest song that he featured in. Baek Ji Young's 'Good Boy.'

I bit my lip and decided to go with that. When I was alone I didn't mind dancing 'ily.' And I've been waiting for a chance to dance to this song.

I turned it on and got into position.

http://youtu.be/Stpp2XGMhuw

I released my hair and let it pool around my shoulders. I ran my fingers through my bangs and shook my head. The first part of the dance started and I changed into a completely different person.

Of course I exaggerated the movements. I was alone. My hips moved freely and I put on the expression of a seductress. Kim Tae Sung, the creator of TS Entertainment, would freak out if he saw me. The whole reason I wasn't in Secret was because I didn't dance like this.

In public.

My hair flung around and I loosened my shoulders, I improvised some of the steps and did what felt natural. The steps might not have been appropriate on stage. Maybe.

I was pooled in sweat, I was really give this song my all. Jonghyun's rap came and I went along with him. I wasn't known for my rapping skills but once when Junhyung and Dujun had overheard me rapping one of Mir's, from MBLAQ, parts they were impressed.

By the time the song ended I was panting. The next song made me freeze. It was 'No' by Yoseob. It was an OST for Poseidon. I couldn't move from my spot as I listened to his voice. Tears welled up in my eyes.

This was one reason I couldn't listen to Yoseob's voice in public. Almost everytime it brought tears to my eyes. It was just so emotional and heartbreaking.

I rushed over and quickly changed the song. It was Dongwoon's solo 'In the Cloud." I sighed. That was better.

http://youtu.be/x5ddiyk6CLg

I plopped on my bottom and wiped my tears. Lately I feel like that's all I've been doing is crying. I've hardly slept or ate.

I was startled when a hand reached down and gripped mine. I was pulled up and spun around. Before I could see their face they hugged me to their chest and started swaing back and forth.

It took me a moment, but I relaxed and just let them move me around the dance floor.

"You should stop being tough on your own." He whispered in my ear.

A shiver went down my spine and fresh tears came into my eyes. "Sunbae." I sobbed.

Yoseob pulled back and smiled at me. He reached out and wiped my tears while still moving from side to side.

"It hurts my heart that I can't ease your loneliness and pain a bit." he looked away.

"I'm not lonely now." I tried to smile for him.

He sighed and leaned his forehead against mine. "I could move in with you. You'd never be lonely then." he smirked.

I blushed and smacked his chest.

"Owe! What was that for?" Yoseob pouted while rubbing the spot where I hit him. Then he saw my blush and smiled. "Did someone have the wrong idea?" I blushed even more and he laughed.

"Don't tease me." I huffed.

He looked down at me. "No?" He tilted his head to the side. "Don't you like Sunbae's teasings?"

I didn't answer and wouldn't meet his eyes.

Yoseob chuckled and pulled back.

"What are you doing here?" I asked, still embarassed.

"Can't I come visit you?" He raised an eyebrow.

I froze. "H...How long have you been here?"

He swallow