“Are you ready to go?” He asked me.

“Finished with your work?” I asked him back and he nodded. “Then, let’s go.” With that, I pulled him towards the parking lot and asked from him the key.

“Here you go.” He tossed the key right to my hands and entered the driver’s seat. Same goes for him, he sat on the passenger’s seat.

--

“Hebe!” Rainie yelled, going to Hebe’s work cubicle.

“What?” Hebe asked as if she gets pissed whenever Rainie calls her.

“I’ve got news.” Rainie frowned.

“Something important?” Hebe asked and Rainie nodded.

“I just heard this, okay?” Rainie asked. “I think that Wu couple’s son – Chun Wu… He, he reported something to the agency…” Rainie stuttered.

“What!?” Hebe asked in shock.

“He’s looking for the – Ella, who killed his parents.” Rainie continued. “But then, how is the agency supposed to handle it when our own agency was the one who killed his parents?”

“Rain, can you speak slowly?” Hebe pleaded. “I can’t understand a thing.” Hebe was saying this as if she wanted Rainie to repeat everything she just said, though she really heard every word and sentence clearly.

“That Chun guy is searching for Ella, okay?” Rainie repeated. “But then I’m asking how the agency is supposed to handle his request when our agency was the one who killed his parents? And worst… Ella’s his secretary, right? What if he just finds out that he’s found out that Ella’s the one and then he had this gun right on his working desk and shot it to her?”

“You’re exaggerating, Rain.” Hebe distracted her. “You never changed.”

“But—“ Rainie hesitated.

“No buts, okay?” Hebe asked. “I’ll call Ella. I’ll think of the best way we can to keep her on guard.”

--

I pulled Chun’s car in the driveway as well as receiving Hebe’s call. I turned to my right and remembered that Chun was still there, so I asked him to go inside first.

“Ella.” Hebe said. “Bad news.” She announced.

“What is it?” I asked.

“Just heard this from Rain, don’t know if it’s trustworthy.” Hebe laughed and then turned serious in an instant. “Chun’s looking for you.”

“Huh, what?” Ella asked. “I’m with him.”

“That’s the problem.” Hebe clearly stated. “You have to get away from him as possible as you can. We’re keeping you on guard.”

“I don’t understand.” I whispered with my eyes wide in shock. I clearly understand why he’s looking for me, only that I didn’t know until now.

“He’s looking for the person who killed his parents.”

“And then, what would happen if he finds out it’s me?” I asked.

“He’ll kill you.” Hebe scared me. “Indirectly, though.”

“What do you mean by indirectly?” I asked, listening carefully as if I wanted to know it in full details. Well, of course I wanted to.

“Does he have a gun in his cabinet?” Hebe asked all of a sudden.

“No.” I replied. “That was the last time I checked.”

“Do they have security cameras on his office?” Hebe asked again.

“No.” I shook my head, stating ‘no’. “They only have security cameras on—Wait! I think they do. Now that I’ve clearly thought of it.”

“You’re doomed!” Hebe scared me again.

“So, what do I do now?” I asked her, while I was tremendously shaking from the fear of dying. Maybe I also had this phobia of dying - maybe I’m scared of dying.

“Have you fallen in love?” Hebe asked as if she knew me as myself. As if she knew every step I would take and every move I’d make. I cried.

“I’m afraid…” I stuttered. “Yes.” I cried louder, with my tears flowing down my cheeks.

“With whom?” She asked me again as if she didn’t want to hear Chun’s name who actually is the man I’ve fallen in love with.

“Chun Wu.” I stated which made Hebe furious.

“Don’t!” Hebe yelled. “Ella, you shouldn’t.”

“Why?” I asked with my voice shaking, cracking and all. I was angry, I knew the answer why she was asking me to do so, but then it would be too hard to just forget Chun, forget his stares, his laugh and, and—maybe I just can’t do it. I know now… I’d have to face whatever trials I have in store. If I die, then that’s what supposed to happen to me. I don’t really mind as long as I’m with him.

“You’d have to kill him, Elle.” That sentence clearly tore me to pieces. I didn’t know how to respond to Hebe now, but then I managed to reply to her after a few minutes.

“Hebe, I don’t mind if I die.” I replied. “If you don’t let me go, then I’d break my connection to the agency.” I threatened her. Of course she was shocked; I could hear her strange voice clearly. She didn’t know how to react.

“Ella…” She whispered.

“If you don’t have anything more to say, I’ll hang up the phone.” I said, profusely wanting to really hang the phone up. “I’ll call you once I feel fine already.” Then, I hang up the phone.

My tears started to flow continuously, strangling my eyes. My eyes are probably red now and Chun must be waiting for me inside. But then I knew I just can’t show up to him with my puffy eyes and all. All of a sudden, the radio played the song Not Drunk Enough by Adele Erichsen…

never been a girl who used to cry
didn`t show emotions, don`t know why
didn`t wanna feel the pain inside, I guess

but as the years keep going by,
you came along and changed my mind
i should leave the past behind me,
i should let you find me,
supposed to stay beside me
you were supposed to guide me,
through the ups and downs,
you were always gonna be around until the end

It didn’t help. It just kept on making the tears fall. The lyrics of the song really hit me.

--

“What’s taking her so long?” Chun asked himself, continuously tapping his hands on the table he was sitting at, waiting for Ella.

“Sir, would you order already?” The waitress asked him for the third time.

“Wait a minute.” He replied and went outside the restaurant to go coming back for Ella.

--

i still think we could
`cause you and me, we`re good
and i`ll tell you why this hurts now `cause i`m sober
but i just wanna be drunk
so i can forget about you
and all those stupid things that love has put me through
even when i`ve had too much,
i still feel your touch
maybe this just means that i`m not drunk enough
so i`m gonna get myself another drink
whenever i start to think about you
`cause i do what i really don`t want to,
but sometimes memories just come through

And even before I could finish the song, Chun came knocking on his car. Oh my God, I thought. He couldn’t see my eyes all so puffy and red, so I got my pair of shades from my purse and rolled down the window where in he was knocking at.

“Uh, I was getting impatient.” He said and laughed at me when he saw me wearing my shades. Good thing I always carried this around. It was like a habit for me when I was still an agent, I’d wear this. But then I replaced my old one with a new one, to help in forgetting all about the agency memories. Where in I’d have to murder people and—well, they are people who do crime, anyway. But then I can’t change the fact that I still killed Chun’s parents. Even though I knew they did a crime, I still felt guilty because I loved Chun now and I just learned that I killed his parents.

“I see that.” I replied to him even before I daydream again and jumped off his car.

“What’s with the look?” He asked me weirdly, trying to take off my shades.

“No!” I yelled. “Don’t remove it, it hurts.” I slapped his hands away from removing my shades.

“If it hurts, then let me remove it.” He tried taking it off again and now he succeeded, taking in my full image of how I looked like when my eyes were all puffy and red. I looked away and turned to my right to distract him from his thoughts and continued walking to the restaurant, putting my shades again.

“Did you cry?” He asked me, stopping me right on my tracks to turn me around to face him. “There wasn’t lightning.”

“As if I’d only cry when there is lightning?” I asked him and rolled my eyes.

“Why’d you cry then?” He asked me. “Your eyes are so puffy and red. I can’t bear to look at it.” He continued. “It gives me pain.” He whispered something, but then I didn’t hear it as I was making my way through the restaurant.

We sat in an empty table for two near the windows and called for the waiter to list our orders. The waiter is of course, a boy. He looked very impatient and is glaring at Chun.

“Finally ordering?” He asked.

“Yeah.” Chun nodded as if he didn’t care how the waiter glared at him and all. “So yeah, I’ll have six pieces of Dim Sum, a glass of Milk Tea.” He paused. “Uh, do you have the bottomless one?” He asked, abruptly changing the topic.

“Yes.” The waiter nodded as well as listing Chun’s order. “Any more for you, sir?” The waiter asked.

“Oh, Bean Curd with Mushroom.” He finished, with the waiter turning to me.

“Uh, I’d have Steamed Shrimp and Vegetables and Milk Tea.” With that, the waiter left and went to the counter. Chun looked at me as if he wanted to ask me why I only ordered a few for myself, but I tried to ignore him and looked all around me, avoiding his gaze, eyes and stares.

“What’s with you today?” He asked me. “Did you break up with your boyfriend?” Ugh, that last question irritated me. Of course I didn’t have a boyfriend, okay? Then, I looked up and glared at him. I looked to his eyes again and they were clearly curious as to what I would answer him.

“I don’t have a boyfriend, okay?” I stated clearly as how I thought of the sentence coming out from my mouth. He felt relieved, I don’t know for what reason but then I’m not so certain that he liked me back.

“Really?” He asked me again, making me irritated.

“Yeah, why?” The atmosphere abruptly changed. It was quiet as if we were shy talking to each other.

“Nothing.” He replied. “Just asking.” Oh, so he was just asking. He really doesn’t have the will to ask me out. As if that would happen, I talked to myself in thought.

“The reason about me crying, you don’t need to know.” I told him. “I want to know more about you.” His right eyebrow rose at me as if asking me what I wanted to know about him.

“Well…” He started. “What do you want to know?” He asked.

“Anything.” I replied, waiting for what he would tell me about his own personal life, perhaps?

“My parents died when I was twenty-two.” He conversed, still with a smile on his face. I froze on my seat and didn’t know how to react. Right, I was twenty back then. But then, why did he have to start the conversation with his parents dying and all? I asked myself. It just makes me more and more guilty.

“I’m sorry to hear that.” I managed to slip out a sentence out of my mouth as I got back to reality that he is still talking to me.

“It’s okay.” He said. “You know what?” He asked me.

“What?” I asked back.

“I’m currently in the state of searching for the person who killed my parents.” I was furious.

“I thought it was already okay?” I asked him, really curious as to what he would say next. It’s as if he knew how to read minds right at this moment, as if he knew something I didn’t want him to know?

“It isn’t yet,” He paused. “for that person.”

“Anyway, change topic.” I pleaded. “I have Thanatophobia.” I lied.

“What’s that?” He asked.

“It’s fear of death.” I replied. “The way you were talking to me… it’s as if you wanted to kill the person.” I covered my ears when stated the words ‘death’ and ‘kill’. Well, I succeeded in the acting part.

“I know now!” He announced. “You were crying lately because someone you know?” He asked.

“No.” I shook my head. “Another reason.”

“You have another phobia?” He asked me, which sent him laughing.

“I hate you!” I announced.

“Why?” He asked, instantly trying his very best to stop laughing at me.

“You keep on laughing at me.” I replied.

In a minute or so, our food arrived. He took away all the fear I had. I got to know him more, but then I don’t know if he ever knew about me. We kept laughing all through the eating part and never did we have a boring conversation.

But today, I agreed on the fact Hebe told me that he wanted to kill me. It really is true and no matter what would happen, I’d just let it happen. Only that, I wouldn’t let him out of my sight as long as I live.