It’s been past four years and a half now, since that incident last happened. As expected, we lived our live to the fullest as one family. We enjoyed and kept in memory and memorabilia every step we’d take. Camille’s now in nursery. I’m a house wife, because I didn’t want Camille to be taken care of maids and helpers. Sometimes, when I fetch Camille from school, we’d come by his dad’s office and stay until he gets off from work.

“How are my wife and daughter?” He welcomed us as we entered his office with Rainie just beside his office desk. Oh yes, I forgot to mention to all of you that Rainie finally resigned and permanently assigned herself as Chun’s secretary which I approved of, of course. Chun later on backed out the case regarding Selina and let her off to wherever path she ought to take. Hebe – I haven’t heard much from her ever since forever.

“And how’s my too good to be true husband?” I asked back in question as he stood up from his seat just to peck me on my lips and kiss Camille’s forehead.

“Take care of Camille for a while, Rain.” He muttered, with Rainie cupping as if she was sleepy and all as she carried Camilled up on the sofa to sit beside her. He just ignored me.

“Chun, what?” I asked him as he squeezed my hand and proceeded with me outside of the building.

“I have something to show you.” He whispered and turned to me with a slight grin on his face. “Just wait for me right there.” He let go of my hands and got something out from the car. Little did I know that something I wouldn’t expect to happen would just come back as if uncalled for?

“Ella!” Chun shouted and ran towards me to protect me from whatever it is, even before he could get that something from the car.

“Chun!” I shouted and held him tight as we slowly landed on the ground, with blood soaking him wet. Right there and then, I realized that a bullet shot through him. Was this intentional? I asked myself and cried just by the thought of Chun getting shot. When all the while… we all know that it would have been me.

I looked up and saw a woman’s silhouette as she ran away from wherever she was running to. Who was that? I asked myself and looked once again at Chun’s fallen figure.

He caressed my cheeks and smiled to me for that one last time. “Honey…” He tried to utter as I quickly got my mobile phone from my pocket to right away call Rainie.

“It wouldn’t be of any effect if you call them.” He stuttered, lying down my lap.

“Chun!” I tried to protest as tears blurred my vision. “I can’t afford to lose you!” I exclaimed and proceeded to call Rainie.

She answered on the sixth ring.

“Wei?” She asked me, sounding as if still sleepy.

“Rain, call the ambulance!” I shouted, from the top of my lungs. “Please! Call the ambulance!” I cried even more and tilted my head down to assure that he was still breathing.

“Okay, okay.” Rainie right away hang the phone up.

“I love you, okay?” I lightly tapped Chun’s cheeks continuously as if I was trying to keep him alive.

“I love—“ Blood just came coming out from his mouth. “You.” He paused. “Take care of Camille for me.”

“Chun!” I exclaimed once again. “Don’t say that! I wouldn’t know what to explain to her.”

In a series of minutes, the ambulance came running to us as they put Chun on a stretcher. Rainie and Camille came running as Rainie hugged me as if she knew just now what really happened.

“Elle…” She whispered and kissed the top of my head. “We’re here for you.”

“It would have been my fault, Rain!” I exclaimed. “I should of be the one shot right there and then, he just blocked it off from me!” I cried even more as Camille came hugging me too.

“Mommy, mommy!” She uttered, pushing the sleeves of my shirt back and forth. “What happened?” She asked me as she cried to just by the thought if seeing me cry. “Did daddy do badly?”

“Daddy didn’t do bad, baby. Mommy did.” I protested and hugged my little girl tightly.

“Elle.” Rainie lightly hit me and pulled me to go to the ambulance. “The ambulance!” She exclaimed. “Are you coming or not?”

--

I fidgeted back and forth outside of the operation of room as tears continuously slid down my face. I thought that everything’s going to be fine after four years. I thought—I thought wrong! We don’t even know who is behind all this.

“It’s nice to you.” The doctor announced who happens to be beside me with a not so happy expression plastered on his face. “How’s it been?” I rose up an eyebrow at him as if asking for my husband’s condition already.

“How’s he?” I asked him, ignoring his question which would perhaps take like forever just for him not to proceed with the talk.

“I’m sorry.” He uttered, which sent me glued onto the floor, while my whole body began shaking just by the thought of a doctor saying ‘sorry’.

“Sorry for what?” I asked him and tried to suppress a smile on my face. “You’re kidding, right?” My face just turned bitter cold as if I’d strangle the doctor to death just to bring Chun back. To bring my oxygen back, my guardian—my husband!

“We’re really very sorry.” He repeated. “We couldn’t bring him back.” In an instant, I cupped my mouth and right now began hiccupping as I peaked through the operation room.

“He was shot right on the heart, Elle…” The doctor muttered.

“Could I go in?” I asked him as I tilted my head to signal Rainie as if to take care of Camille first. The doctor nodded as I came barging in the room.

I immediately saw Chun’s eyelids closed with a big bandage all over his worned out chest, which carried me before. Those beautiful eyes, the cherry red lips turned pale, which I’d love to kiss even from before. His—his, I could just sniff and hiccup by the thought. I definitely could not bring him back anymore, but what do I do without him? I asked myself as I traced the lines on his face.

“Definitely nothing.” I muttered and gulped. “It should have been me, Chun. It should have been me.”

Just then, as I exited the room, a nurse came walking towards me to give me his belongings.

“Mrs. Wu, these are Mr. Wu’s only belonging he had left.” The nurse said. “If you’d still like to get his shirt and the others, you can just proceed to the lobby and claim them.”

I didn’t say anything; I just got all his things and sat down beside Rainie. As I was about to settle his things next to where I’m sitting, I felt something paper-like drop on the floor. I opened it and found out that it was a letter, for me…

Dear Elle,

I knew at first that it had to be you. You had to be the one to actually kill my parents, but then I ended up falling in love with you. At first… I thought that it would be easier with you by my side. Its killing made easier, but then I was wrong and confused at the same time. That talk you had with your friend—it confused me on the matter on who really killed my parents! What confused me even more are the feelings I had for you. The day I found out I got you pregnant; I shook all of those killing thoughts away from this head of mine. People told me before that my parents got killed because of a crime and I didn’t believe them. Just then when you said it all out to me, did I really believe.

Now that I’ve let it all out, would you be the one to tell me now that it’s a secret you would die for or perhaps the other way around? Because it clearly states that I’m the master mind of all these—it’s a secret I would die for. Probably, you're thinking now of how I knew about the truth, but I don't think that matters anymore. I don’t know if you’d still forgive me after reading this letter, but what wouldn’t change is the fact that I love you and only you.

Love,
Chun

How did he know? I asked myself and lightly smiled as I got to read his last letter to me. It actually wouldn’t make sense at all now! I exclaimed to myself. If ever I wouldn’t forgive you if you were still alive, it wouldn’t make sense anymore because for all we know, you’re already resting in peace. I thought at first that you were also too good to be true, but a saying goes: “People who just go with the flow or are silent are the true people who have secrets and intentions to keep.”

So it’s all the while true, but what could I do since you’re already away from me? I asked myself. Nothing. I answered myself. But I’ll still continue loving you, Chun and I hope we’d still be together once I follow you up there.

END.