I had a dream.

 I was at school, laughing and smiling with people who I can’t see their faces. They smiled and laughing like me but I can’t really distinguish their face features… they were so fade in my dream.

Then, I walked out of the school with a boy. We separated half way, after bidding good bye and making promises to see each other again. I continued my journey alone until I reached a two storey light brown bungalow at the end of the road. I went into the bungalow, passed through its small garden.

As soon as I opened the door, a girl with blonde long hair greeted me lazily while she concentrated on the television in front of her. I also can’t see her face. I put my backpack on the sofa, where the woman sat and I sat beside her, joining to watch the show. Without looking at me, the girl put her arm around my shoulder but I didn’t really react. We watched the television like that.

After that, a warm voice called my name. I saw a chubby middle age woman wearing apron heading towards us and placed a bowl of cut fruits on the table. She my hair gently with her plump and pale hand and asked me about school. Again, I can’t see her face but I felt relaxed and safe by her touch.

Later on, two girls in school uniform came in. Even though I can’t see their faces, I noticed that both of them had straight long black hair. Both of them clipped their bangs with same flower hair pins, they had the same model of cellphone (but different colours) with the exact same phone straps and their backpacks were also the same design with different colours. They almost looked like twins except that one of them was really skinny and her skin is a bit fairer than the other one. They were giggling and chatting with each other as they came in. But when the chubby woman greeted them, they came over and gave her quick peck on her both cheeks before they continued chatting and went upstairs. The blonde haired girl beside me scoffed at the two girls. I chuckled at her mouse-like expression. The chubby woman went back to the kitchen.

Then, I heard the door bell rang. The girl beside me nudged to tell me to open the door and I obediently went towards the door. When I opened the door, I saw Minho. The only face that I could recognize and see in the dream. He had that wide smile on his handsome face when he greeted me. I was so happy and excited to see him. I took his hand to lead him inside, but as soon as my hand touch his skin, the dream ended. I woke up… in this room.

It has been awhile since I last had a dream. Maybe because it’s been awhile since I slept instead of fainted.

This room doesn’t change much since I first woke up in this room… actually nothing changed… except a few days before, they took away the plushies that I vandalized and replaced them with new ones. But I’m starting to hate this room.

Everyday, they came and hurt me. They cut, hit and poisoned me, inflicted injuries and pain to me everytime. They even burn me a few days ago. I hate it when they hurt me, I hate it when they came in, I hate it when the door creaked open and I hate to be in this room. The plushies which I used to adore are now I’m scared of them. Whenever I was hurt and left crying in this room, I saw those plushies looking at me with evil stares as if laughing at me. The mural sky on the ceiling, I hate it too. It looks so fake, trying to deceive me while trapping me inside this room. The pretty bed sheet, blankets and pillows were stained by my blood almost every day. But every time, they will change them with the new ones, same pattern and colors, trying to hide the evidence that I was hurt.

I hate this diary. It forces me to write these painful memories.

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The dream that Taemin had was a piece of his memories that he slowly forgotten

Faces that he couldn’t see in the dreams are people that he has forgotten

The boy that he walked with was Kai, and they were going back home from school

The chubby middle age woman is Taemin’s mother

The blonde girl who watched television was his Sunny noona

The two girls who came in afterwards were his twin sisters

They are Yuri and Yoona (they are unidentical twins) and they are a year older than Taemin

Taemin has forgotten his own family…. But he still remembers Minho

This is getting sad, right? I’m feeling sad writing this too (T__T)