As promised, I went to the park near Lotte World where Jaejoong wanted to meet. I saw him there, sitting on a bench. The same bench where I let him go years ago.

“Yah!” I called his attention and run towards him. He smiled at me and patted the space next to him, telling me to sit beside him. Maybe this would be the last time he’s gonna smile at me like that and the last chance to sit beside him.

He didn’t say anything as I sat beside him. Instead, he closed his eyes and ‘looked’ above. Ugh, perfect. I looked away because if I don’t, I’ll eventually cry because I’m going to lose him. When I was about to say something, he talked, “Mi Yeo-ssi, tell me honestly: why are they all against this marriage while you are okay with it?” Okay? I’m effin’ okay with it? Do you think I’m okay with it? Of course, I’m not. But what will that do huh, if I’m not okay with it. Will it make you remember me? No. Will it make you remember us? No. Will it make you come back to me? No.

“Honestly, I’m not with you and your marriage at first. I’m sorry for that. But lately, after I met your fiancé, I understood why you are like this; fighting for her, fighting for your relationship, fighting for your marriage. And as a best friend, I’m happy that you’re doing that for her. I-I don’t know but as a best friend, I’m giving you to her,” those last words stabbed pain to my heart. What are you doing, Mi Yeo? Why are you letting him go again? You’re going to lose him . . . forever.

He opened his eyes and looked at me. He smiled. “Yah~ you sounded like a mother giving away her child,” he said. I smiled back with tears forming in my eyes again. “Tell me, is it wrong to marry someone you love?” he asked. I looked away again because the tears can’t be stopped. It is because you’re marrying the wrong person, Kim Jaejoong. I was the one who is supposed to be the in the wedding dress tomorrow and walk in the aisle with you waiting for me at the altar. But no, Seohyun is the one who get to do all of that. I looked at him and said, “No, it isn’t wrong. It isn’t wrong marrying someone whom you want to be with forever. It isn’t wrong marrying someone who’s been there for you through though times. It isn’t wrong because she is someone whom you love, whom you want to protect.” I don’t care if he sees my tears now.

“Did you happen to feel that for someone? Do you love someone right now?” he asked another question. I laughed a little. “I do. He’s perfect. He’s everything. Nothing goes against our relationship. I thought nothing would go wrong. But I was mistaken. Now, he can’t remember me and even how we used to be in the past. He forgot that I’m the girl he fought for, the girl he said he’s never gonna forget. I can’t do anything right now but to let him go. I’m a fool, right?” I answered. I don’t know but it just slipped from my mouth.

“Yeah, you’re a fool. Why don’t you fight for him huh?” he said. “I did everything to make him remember me as his love, but fate is telling me that I’m not the one for him,” I replied while smiling, tears still streaming down my cheeks. “Can I ask a favor?” I said as I looked away. “Hm-mm, what is that?” he replied. I looked at the engagement ring he gave me when he proposed a year ago. I slowly took it off and gave it to him. “W-what’s this?” he asked as he opened his palm to receive the ring. “I-It’s a ring given by that guy whom I love. Until he doesn’t come back to me, p-please take care of it.” I told him. In reality, I’m returning the engagement ring you gave me, Jaejoong. That ring that held the promise that you’ll be with me forever. But since you can’t, I’ll be the one who will walk away. I gave him that ring with a little hope that he’ll remember me. “Don’t worry, I’ll take care of it,” he promised me. Promises again. Psh.

Tranquility reigned until he cut it off, “You’re going to my wedding tomorrow, right? I wonder how you will look like in -“ This is it.

“About that, Jaejoong,” Inhale Mi Yeo, “I’m not gonna be there at your wedding tomorrow.” His eyes grew big and he looked at me. I just smiled my please-forgive-and-understand-me smile. “W-why?” he said with a hint of what? Disappointment? “I-I already booked a flight for tomorrow. I’m going back to London, my company needs me there. Sorry oppa. Please understand. Businesses,” I reasoned. The truth is, I’m going to London without a plan to come back here in Korea. I’m leaving him. I’m turning my back. I’m selfish. I’m hurt. I’m setting him free.

“I understand. Businesses are like that you know. They got me back here during our vacation to London before,” he said. Yep, they got you back. But me, I can’t get you back now. “I have to go, Mi Yeo-ssi. Yunho prepared a party for me at a bar. I’m sorry if I can’t take you back home. I’ll make it up to you next time okay?” There will be no next time, Jaejoong. “I’m okay. I’ll drop by the ice cream shop near here anyway. My driver can drive me back home. Good luck on your wedding tomorrow, Kim Jaejoong!” I nearly shouted at him because he started walking away. But I still have to say something to him, this could be my last chance.

“Jaejoong oppa, I love you!” I shouted. Though, it seems he didn’t hear it and continued walking. I hanged my head low and turned around to move on.

It’s hard to move on you know.