After a tiring visit to the Kim’s residence, I directly went home and locked myself in my bedroom. In times like this, no one gives enough comfort other than -

“Yoboseyo? Mom?”

“Oh, my little girl. Yes, it’s me, mom. Why did you call?”

“Nothing, it’s just I haven’t talked to you since I arrived here in Korea.”

“So how’s it back there?”

“Fine. Everything is fine.” I deserve awards and trophies for lying here.

“Did you see Jaejoong?” I saw him. But not the real ‘him’.

“Y-yes, I paid a visit to the Kim’s earlier.”

“Why does your voice sounded like that? Is something wrong?”

Everything is wrong, mom. Everything.

“Nope, I just watched a drama on TV and it’s so sad that it made me cry.” Another point for lying.

“I must watch that too when we come home there.”

“Uhm, mom? I just want to ask a question.”

“What’s that, honey?”

“Mom, pretend you haven’t meet dad yet and you’re back in your younger years.”

“Are you saying that I’m old now?”

“Mom~”

“Okay, okay. Continue your question.”

“What will you do if someone forgets you? Moreover, that ‘someone’ is the person you love and you’ve been yearning to see him but all he does is pushes you away and make you suffer in pain and hurt.”

“Well, if someone forgets me, I’ll do everything to make him remember me. Just simple as that, honey. It may hurt but it hurts more if you didn’t do anything to make him remember you. Try honey, try. Nothing will be lost if you try. Why are you even asking me this?”

“Uhm, it is a scene on the drama I’m watching. I’m curious for the next episode so -“

“That drama must be so good that it made you cry.”

“Anyways, so how is . . . “

The conversation lasted for at least 5 minutes or so. Hearing my mother’s voice made me forget how stressful the past days have been. But as soon as we bid our goodbyes to each other and hanged up, all the pain came back. I realized that mom isn’t here to pat my back and tell me that everything’s going to be fine.

Fine? You think I can make everything ‘fine’ and return to how it was? I only have a week until Jaejoong’s wedding - only a week to fix everything. Or if unfortunate, I only have a week to be with him. If he doesn’t remember anything, maybe I going back to London is the best choice. I don’t want to see Jaejoong after wed and say ‘Congratulations on your wedding’ or something and see him smile his affections towards Seohyun. I don’t want to see them building their own family while I’m just staring at them from a distance. I don’t want to be forgotten forever.

I then considered it a day. A tiring one.