Chapter 7
Who I Am
(A/N The drama is coming! DUN, DUN, DUN! < My fail at trying to make scary sounds.)
You’re my only one way
Ojik neoreul wonhae naega ni gyeote isseume gamsahae
You’re the only one babe
Himdeun sesang soge sarangeul alge haejun
Neo hanaro naneun haengbokhae
Heaven Heaven Heaven Heaven Heaven
Heaven Heaven Heaven Heaven Heaven
Uri hamkkeramyeon we will never cry never never cry
Heaven Heaven Heaven Heaven Heaven
Heaven Heaven Heaven Heaven Heaven
Yeongwonhi duriseo never gonna be alone
(Heaven – Ailee)
-Chunji’s POV-
I woke the next morning with a pounding headache, I struggled to recall what happened last night and when I finally did, I felt the blood drain from my face. Oh my ing god, I didn’t, I kissed Himchan and told everyone I was gay! I glanced around my room and tried to remember how I got into my room until the memory of Changjo and L. Joe helping me into L. Joe’s car. I crawled out of bed and walked downstairs praying my parents haven’t heard about it. “Good morning, sweetheart.” My mom said with a small smile, “Annyeong, Omma.” I said cautiously and sat down at the table as she turned back around to finish making the rest of breakfast. “Hi, Chanhee!” Appa said with a bright smile as he entered the house with the newspaper under his arm. He sat across from me and opened it up, so my parents didn’t know, that’s a good thing…but my friends still knew. I ate breakfast and changed my clothes “Bye guys, I’m going to Changjo, Niel and Ricky’s house.” (Pretend Changjo, Ricky and Niel are brothers) I called as I walked out of the house and I started walking questions filling my head to the brim. What was L. Joe going to say? He and his mom were homophobes and the only reason I’m going to Changjo’s house was because I knew they weren’t homophobes, but just because they weren’t homophobic didn’t mean they would want to be friends with a gay boy. Sometime later, I knocked on their door and their little brother, Kyung, answered the door. “Hi, Chunji, awe yew hewe to see my bwoda’s?” (Hi, Chunji, are you here to see my brother’s?) He asked curiously, I nodded my head “Yeah, I am, little monster.” I said giving him a teasing smile, he giggled and led my into the house. “Chunji, wook I wost my toof.” (Chunji, look I lost my tooth.) Kyung opened his mouth and showed me his missing tooth I smiled down at him and said “Cool.” Pretending to interested, Kyung was only four, I have no idea how he answered the door, I wasn’t aware he could reach the door knob… We reached Changjo’s room and we could hear the other two in there too and Kyung got up on his tippy toes struggling for a few seconds to reach the knob, he turned it and frowned in frustration, “Is it locked?” I asked and he nodded “I fink show, mommy told hwung’s not to wock their dough’s.” (I think so; mommy told hyung’s not to lock their doors.) Usually the way Kyung talked would make me smile because he had the most adorable baby voice, but today I wish he could pronounce his ‘r’ in door. He pounded his tiny fist on Changjo’s door and waited for one of them to answer it, “What do you need, Kiddo?” Niel asked before he noticed me, “Oh, hi, Chunji.” He said nervously, he kneeled down and picked Kyung up and stood back up. “What’s up?” “You know we need to talk.” I said flatly. He nodded “Go play with daddy and stop answering the door or mommy’s gonna get mad at you.” He said as he set Kyung down and kissed his cheek, for an instant I got an image of Kyung holding a pitch fork, chanting “Praise he who walks behind the rows!” and mutilating the car in with a lady with a crumbling marriage and a life that was coming to an end. I shook it off and followed Niel into the room, Ricky and Changjo stared at me and I sat down next down next to Changjo, since he knew already. “What happened, Chunji, did you get to drunk?” as Ricky asked staring at me, I felt the lie rising in my throat struggling to come out. Yes, I got too drunk, you know me, and I don’t lie to my friends. “No.” The secret was out; the cat was out of the bag, again, another useless expression (Remember? It’s raining cats and dogs?) But if you did try to put the cat back into the bag, I doubt the bastard would go back in without a vicious fight, but I knew it would be easier if I just let it free instead of containing it any longer, it was going to come out one day, why delay it? “I’ve been gay for a while now and I was scared to tell everyone because…I was afraid everyone was going to hate me and reject me…” Niel and Ricky nodded understandingly, and then Changjo grinned sheepishly and raised his hand and said “I already knew he was gay…” Niel and Ricky looked at their brother disbelievingly and then looked at me “Why did you tell him and not us?” I shook my head and said “He found out after eavesdropping on me and Christine’s conversation.” Their mouths formed an O and Niel said “Chunji, you know we aren’t homophobes even if a lot of people are and I don’t know how C.A.P and L. Joe are going to react, but do your parents know?” I shook silently grateful that they didn’t. “God, Chunji, you’re damn good at hiding things.” The image of T-Bear’s grotesque body flashed through my mind and I nodded “Yeah.” I agreed “I am.” “Look, Chunji, I think we all should head over to L. Joe’s, C.A.P’s going to be over there and you know he never goes home when he’s wasted.” Ricky said “What they hate me, Ricky, hate me because I’m a ing ?” I said shakily, “You’re not a , Chunji, fags are cigarettes. You’re just another human who likes boys, we’ll talk to them, okay, Chunji? Everything will be fine.” Niel reassured me. I nodded but inside I prepared for the worst, because I knew for a fact that everything wasn’t going to be alright, I could already feel my life falling apart. L. Joe and C.A.P will reject for being gay, and then what? I’ll only have Rick, Niel, Changjo and Christine, Hell, I might only have Christine. I wouldn’t blame Changjo, Niel and Ricky if they abandoned me to be friends with C.A.P and L. Joe. We left their house and drove to my fate, this was it, this will decide if I would be forever rejected by my best friend or not. This was what it came down too, make it or break it and the sick feeling in the pit of my stomach foreshadowed bad news.
(A/N WHAT’S GOING TO HAPPEN? Comment and tell me what you think!)
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