“I… I needed someone to talk to.” Luna began to play with her hair, twirling it to relieve her anxiety. This sudden decision shocked herself.

“Well you haven’t talked to me in so long, why now? And do you even know what time it is?” Luna frowned.

“Umma… something very bad is going on with me. I need someone to talk to.”

She heard her sigh on the other end, “I hope you’re alright. What’s going on, Sunyoung?”

“I just… well… let me tell you I’m sorry for not speaking to you or appa in a while.”

“It’s… okay. You’re a famous pop star, anyway. I just wish you had called me to tell me you were okay after that attack I saw on the news.”

Luna bit her lip, “I’m sorry, umma. I promise to call you more often.”

“Good…” There was a moment of silence between the two, some breathing. “Now, why don’t you tell your umma what’s the matter.”

“I… well… I have a boyfriend now-“

“Oh, that’s wonderful, Sunyoung!”

“But well… w-well… I kind of had… I don’t know how to word this, umma…”

“Did you make some regret?”

“Umma… I don’t regret it. But we ended up-“

“My Sunyoung…” her umma sounded sympathetic, “Dear, who is the father?”

Luna blinked from her sudden understanding. “U-um… his name is Lee Jinki.”

“Sunyoung, you know, umma is very disappointed… but whatever happens, I am here to support you. How far along are you?”

“Well, I’m not sure if I am.”

“What? Why haven’t you taken a pregnancy test? How long have you missed your period, Sunyoung?”

Luna bit her lip harder now, feeling kind of embarrassed. She didn’t even know why she didn’t. Fear? “I just am so busy, and… I’m scared.”

“Sunyoung, you can’t assume the worst. That’s not how to get through life. You have to take a pregnancy test.”

“I had just gotten off my period when we… yeah.”

“Sunyoung! That’s the worst time to do such a thing! You remember ed, don’t you?”

She covered her face, sighing. “Yes, umma… I know… I know it’s the most ‘fertile’ time for a woman. Umma, I wasn’t thinking, okay?”

“Why didn’t you use a ?”

“Yah, umma… I told you, I wasn’t thinking… I’m scared, umma. I’ve been feeling sick a lot now, especially in the morning.”

“Some of this can be caused my stress, Sunyoung. You might be causing this yourself from your fear, you know. Sunyoung, you have to take a pregnancy test to determine this, okay? Otherwise, you’re only scaring yourself.”

Luna was quiet, slowly taking in her umma’s knowledge. She always knew everything, and it made Luna mad. “I miss my sister,” Luna stated.

“Sunyoung, we all do. And if she were here right now, she would be here to support you, just like I am.”

“I… I love you umma.” Luna felt bittersweet. The sudden bonding with her gave a strange feeling in her heart. Normally, the two would never talk about something like this.

Luna was desperate, though, desperate for answers, and help. Any kind of help.

“Umma needs to go to bed now, okay? Sunyoung, you have to promise me to call me more often. I never know if you’re busy or not with your other life.”

Your other life. That made Luna scoff rudely to herself. “Okay, umma.”

 Her eyes scanned around the room, almost completely dark. They gave their goodbyes, both feeling awkward; Luna looked over at Sulli, fast asleep.

She wondered about what her umma had said: stress can cause her symptoms. What if her body was playing tricks on her, convinced it was sick? Luna held onto her stomach, a strain suddenly causing her to squirm.

Luna crawled into a fetal position, her chest beginning to hurt as had a lump in it. Why can’t she do anything right? She might lose the man she fell in love with… and she might not even be carrying his child. Why was she still stuck on all of this, anyway? Luna had to just be brave and get a test.

“Onew,” she whimpered, crying out a breath. She felt streams of tears dripping down from her cheeks and down the tip of her nose as she turned to her side. Her eyes fogged forward, but soon fixated over her side table. Even in the dark, she could see her bible sitting on that table perfectly. Her arms extended out to reach it, barely tracing it with her fingers. Luna finally grasped at it, and let out a cry as she threw it down toward the wall. It felt kind of good to do so.

“Just do what’s right for me, then,” she sobbed, “stupid life.”

Luna began to feel extremely tired, beginning to close her eyes. She pulled up some blanket over her, and began to fall asleep. Her mind’s worries faded away, beginning to dream.

“Luna-shi! Luna-shi, come here, Daeho is crying and-“

“I’m on it, let me see him, Onew oppa.”

Poor Onew had such messy hair right now, sticking up and slicked back from lack of sleep. He let Luna sleep for a few more hours last night as he watched over their son. He sang with him, fed him, changed him, and held onto him, trying to warm him since it was just beginning to start autumn.

Onew slipped away from Baeho, and allowed his son to be placed in Luna’s arms, gently. Luna held onto her son, looking at him with proud eyes. He was crying softly, probably hungry. His black hair was just coming in, thin and wispy. His little voice cried out with joy once he saw his umma, his tiny fingers spread out and curling back in.

“Maybe he’s not hungry, maybe he just wanted to see you,” Onew said, scratching his at his scalp. He looked so cute with his gray tank top and loose pajama bottoms; his eyes were really squinty from being tired and trying to adjust to the light since this morning. “Yah, I’m hungry,” Onew walked over toward the kitchen, fixing himself something.

Luna held onto Baeho while she sat on the couch. “Oppa, come look at his expression right now. He’s so funny!” Her smile was from ear to ear, seeing her son gazing at his umma. His tiny mouth was slightly open; eyes wide. She cooed to him, making cute noises, Baeho giving funny reactions.

Onew slouched down next to them, a smile on his face. “Luna-shi, when do we start feeding him baby food?”

“Why, oppa?” Luna was playing with Daeho’s arms, the baby smiling.

“I want to give him lots of chicken baby food,” he played, biting onto his tongue.

“Yah! Oppa, I can only feed him right now, that’s not until a while.” Luna looked back down to Baeho, playing with his nose. He gave out little squirms, and soft cooes.

“Luna-shi, I’ve noticed they’ve grown quite a bit since your pregnancy,” Onew whispered, kissing onto her ear. He smiled, covering his arm for protection.

“Yah! Oppa!” She lightly slapped his arm, “Not in front of Baeho!”

Onew smirked, “He doesn’t understand.” Luna tried not to smile by his flirting. Onew, proud of himself, stood back up to head back into the kitchen.

Luna focused her attention on her son again, who was staring off at God knows what. She picked up, from the coffee table, a little bunny toy that rattled. “Baeho,” Luna cooed, “look at the bunny!”

His eyes squinted, beginning to show some kind of eye smile. He gave a high giggled, more like a breath, and wiggled his arms at the sound. “Oppa, he looks just like you!”

“I’ve noticed he’s got my pudgy face already, and my tiny eyes,” Onew commented from the kitchen. Luna giggled, silently agreeing. “What if he suddenly turns blonde like you, Luna-shi?”

Luna laughed again, “Then both of us should be worried,” she joked.

“Yah, Luna-shi, you know I’m the only man in your life next to Baeho.”

“Of course, Onew oppa.”

“I’m Onew ‘appa’ now.”

“Onew appa, then.” Luna placed Baeho gently in her arms, slightly over her shoulder. She placed one hand on his rear and the other over his head. Carefully, she stepped toward the kitchen to join Onew. Onew was fixing himself some ramen, chicken flavored of course. He looked up to Luna, and smiled, placing his chopsticks down and kissing her head.

“I’m so proud of you.”

Luna was bobbing Baeho slightly, “Why, oppa?”

“Just what we’ve been through. I’m just thinking of when we were in the hospital and we both saw him the first time. I couldn’t stop crying.” He was smiling to himself, watching the water boil, cooking his food.

Luna smiled, gently kissing Baeho’s little ear. “I was so delirious and tired I had no idea what was going on,” she joked. Truthfully, though, her body was too tired to focus on the aftermath.

“Well, I was worried our families weren’t going to make it on time, and well, SHINee and f(x) were on their own working that night. It was so sudden when you went into labor.”

Luna felt a bittersweet feeling suddenly. Cradling Baeho in her arms made her feel alive and well, but… she knew she missed being an idol already. Her and Onew decided to work on their own lives once Baeho was born, but she missed the excitement, and seeing her friends so often.

However, it felt even better to know her son was healthy, and growing so fast. The feeling of his touch was the softest feeling she had ever felt, his skin so white and smooth. His laughs and cries were so cute, and it made her so happy overall. Her and Onew were finally one, thanks to Baeho. The only problem was their financial situation, they could not plan a wedding yet until they could find a nice home, instead of a small apartment. Still, she could not have been happier with her life, having two wonderful men in her life.

“Luna-shi,” Onew said as he chewed on his food.

“Don’t chew while you’re talking, oppa,” Luna smirked, patting Baeho’s back. Onew’s response was to stick out his tongue playfully, showing some food. “Aish! Gross!”

The two laughed before Onew scarfed down the rest of his ramen, sipping down the contents loudly. Luna rolled her eyes, and decided to feed Baeho soon. She stepped back toward the couch, resting his head against her chest.

“Luna-shi, it’s time to get up, we have a practice today,” Victoria was patting Luna’s cheek softly. Luna’s eyes fluttered open, disappointed with reality. She saw all of the girls sitting together, dressed in some casual clothing and little make up.

“I had the best dream,” Luna yawned out, stretching. She rolled out her hair gently from the towel, realizing her blonde hair was still a bit damp. Her skin felt smooth and well rested, having that nice bath. “What are we practicing for?” Luna asked Victoria.

“SM is having another performance in a few days for the new year, so we’re practicing on the set today, and tomorrow they’re testing lights.”

“Apparently there will be a really cool light show while we perform,” Amber added.

Luna nodded, but wasn’t really paying attention. Her dream was stuck inside her head, still fresh in her mind. She felt stupid for even believing it was real.

She sighed, beginning to get ready. Washing her face, Luna couldn’t help but take in a good look at herself, still disappointed. “I wanted all of that to be real,” she spoke in her mind, “all of it. Every part…” she dried her face, groaning into the towel, “It was perfect.” Luna brushed her teeth quickly, her gums bleeding slightly from the harsh action. “Why can’t it just be real.” Her mind was boggling once she put on her make up, ready to head out. She had some light make up on, but had a messy bun in her hair, which she styled to look cute. She had on a hoodie and some flexible jeans to stretch in, and a pair of thick heeled boots to top it all off.

All her mind was stuck on was Baeho. She felt like a fool for fantasizing, but it made her happy. Practice flew by, nothing but that baby on her mind. She imagined his soft, black hair from her dream, his little coos that seemed so real. He looked just like Onew oppa, but had Luna’s pouty lips and curved jawline. His tiny features felt real as well, like his fingers, eyes, ears… She let out a sigh, trying to focus.

Focus, Luna, focus. Focus on your movement, your singing. Get rid of this stupid fantasy. Onew hasn’t even texted you back yet, so why bother? Baeho is only in your imagination.

The girls were done practicing their second song. Manager oppa suddenly popped up on stage, bringing the girls together with him in a small huddle.

“So, I’m sorry this is so sudden, but it’s not a big deal. You guys are performing Lollipop for this stage performance. Isn’t that exciting?”

Amber sounded very excited, patting the girls on the back. Sulli and Krystal both smiled, clapping. Victoria looked over at Luna, who had no reaction.

“We get to perform with SHINee then? How exciting!” The girls gave small cheers, excited to perform with their close friends. Luna stayed quiet, but faked a smile. Once manager oppa walked down the stairs slightly, they all noticed Jonghyun trotting up first, then Key, then Taemin, then Minho, then Onew. All of them had a pleasant look on their faces, microphones in their hands. Minho, Jonghyun, and Onew all had thick hoodies on with some plain jeans, Taemin had on some sweatpants and a T-shirt, and Key had on a loose shirt, and some dark jeans. Two men down off of the stage directed each to step into place, informing them to begin their formation of the dance. F(x) had made a Chinese version of this song for a commercial type of music video with M.I.C., but Luna wondered how long SHINee had been practicing this dance routine on their own. Onew glanced over to Luna, her eyes gazing at him, but quickly looking down as she waited for the music to start.

Whatchu’ you gonna play?

Whatsoever play,

It’s gotta’ be funky!

One, two, three, make it!

Luna smiled once she began to dance, she couldn’t help it. She loved the song, it was so cute and light.

Sweet lollipop, oh lollipop, oh lollipop, oh!

You’re my lollipop, oh, lollipop, oh lollipop, oh!

The boys were dancing as well, knowing every single step. It wasn’t an intricate dance, but required correct spacing and timing. Still, the boys knew it well. Luna moved sharply, twisting her body and stepping in place, her part was soon. Sulli sang sweetly, her voice high and clear.

Hello, you were the one I was looking for,

My surprised two eyes only blinks to you

Taemin quickly sang afterward, adding onto the sweetness.

My body’s already drawn,

We have the same secret

Amber rapped, stepping forward away from the others as they danced. She looked cool and confident, but cute. It was Luna’s part now.

When you walk hurriedly,

When you frustrated, when you’re tired-

She glanced over at Onew, just for a split second.

When I fall into a dream,

The one and only person I draw is you,

Woah~

Woah~

Krystal smiled before her part, beginning to sing proudly.

The potions are what you want,

The taste of happiness overflows

Luna smiled as Onew sang his part, dancing more sharply as she listened to his voice sing out:

The only remedy that makes me laugh,

I only want to know quietly

They danced again, Luna focusing on her movement instead of the singing. The light bubbly movement made her smile, but she felt y at the same time. Amber kept smiling at Key and Jonghyun, her two closest male friends. Luna looked over to Taemin, smiling. She kept her eyes on Onew most of the time, trying to see if he’d smile at her at least once.

Ah, ah, ah, ah~

Ah, ah, ah, ah~

Luna felt y with her movements while all of the members sang that part, her hips moving carefully. Key sang his part well, smiling and looking confident.

You live inside my heart,

Now I can only look at you

Luna stepped forward, touching her sternum softly, looking feminine.

If I call you, you must come,

You can’t leave me to go far away

The song finished then, everyone clapping together. Onew smiled a bit, happy with their little practice. The boys bowed to each girl, and began to step off down the stairs. The other girls stood together, politely waiting for each SHINee member to step down.

“Unnie,” Sulli was beginning to say, putting an arm on Luna’s shoulder, “when should we wear those dresses we got?”

“Um-“ Before Luna could finish, the girls heard a large thump down by the stairs, all alarmed.

“Hyung! Are you okay?”

“Guys, he looks badly hurt!”

Luna opened a bit in shock, quickly stepping down the stairs to see Onew on the ground, clinging onto his foot for dear life. She could see a little bit of blood pouring out a bit between each of his fingers, his body beginning to shake from the shock. Luna leaned down to his level, swarms of people surrounding him. Her eyes were glossy and wide, afraid.

“Oppa, wh-what happened?“

“Yah,” he breathed in and out, “my ankle….” He groaned out in pain, “I-It hurts…”